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Comment by Michelle H on March 19, 2015 at 2:57pm

In two days, it will be two years since Chris' sudden death. I write the words, but don't comprehend them.

Comment by Ammy on March 18, 2015 at 3:02pm

This song has been playing over and over in my head for the last couple of weeks.

Comment by Dolly on March 18, 2015 at 2:36pm

we still have Brandon's ashes in a little box in his closet... I want to get an urn, but so far haven't been able to look at them... I talk to brandon all the time.. not long conversations... just say hi and how much I love him and miss him... sometimes I apologize for any time I may have let him down.. it isn't getting any easier for me really... just keeping it inside more and thinking about it and not talking about it.. life just isn't like it was when he was here...

Comment by Teresa D. on March 17, 2015 at 12:56pm

My Michael is inside a marble box. I went from a great phone conversation to a marble box being handed to me.  His face is engraved on the box with his name and dates.  It sits on my dresser, it is the first thing I see when I wake up and the last thing I see when I go to sleep.  No morning starts without a tear but I just can't put it any other place than where it is. 

I know my Michael isn't in there, just his remains, but I too talk to the box, hug the box, and I cry to the box. 

It's a double sharp blade.  I have a hard time every morning looking at it but at the same time I can't put it away or part with it.  Some day I hope to be able to look at it and not cry.  Just not there yet.

Comment by Jill E on March 17, 2015 at 12:25pm

I have a little a urn also. I keep it in alittle box where it is safe. I bring it out and talk to him, cry and hug and even kiss it. Right now hurts to see it everyday but I know it is safe. We are moving tomorrow and he will be with me close by never to leave my side. Daughter in law is still being a bitch to me and my husband. Apologize for using the "B" word but that is the only word that describes how se is treating us.
My dogs are part of our family. They are treasured and loved beyond belief. So I truly understand the feelings that goes along being a pet parent. Love you all.

Comment by Sharon on March 17, 2015 at 11:05am

((Lynn)) I just went through the same thing. My son died about 5 weeks ago.  We just buried his ashes last Friday.  We had bought a plot, and a gravemarker... then when we got his ashes, I started crying hysterically and told my husband that maybe we should just keep them at the house.  After a few days, I calmed down and decided to go ahead and bury them next to my mom.  I have a small keepsake urn at my house in a little memorial I made for him.  Some days it gives me comfort to see the memorial, and some days I can't go in that room.  Life is so hard right now.  Pain is still so intense.

Sharon

Comment by Teresa D. on March 17, 2015 at 7:27am

Lynn HUGS. Everything for me has become a process.  Take your time, do it when your ready and do it how you need to. 

Connie as hard as it is I think that is so sweet that his school added the stone to the garden.  At the same time I get why it is so hard to look at. 

Comment by Connie K on March 17, 2015 at 2:01am

Oh Lynn I know what you mean. It's strange but I really don't like to look at the memorial rock at Daniel's garden at his school. I hate that it's "etched in stone". Makes me want to throw up and I can't breath for a moment when I see it at first Hugs

Comment by Lynn Williams on March 16, 2015 at 9:38pm

I am so sorry to hear about your loving pets. They truly are our children. One of our dogs has been on chemo therapy for a while, it's very costly but I could'nt not treat her. She is doing much better with the help of the drugs. I lost it completely two days ago when Chris told me Kyra's headstone was finished and he wanted to know what kind of ceremony I would like to have, I accept his need to bury her ashes in the cemetery but do not want to attend another gathering of friends and family to mark this. I will go and visit the site by myself when I can handle it. He doesn't understand my overwhelming fear and pain of going through another ritual. The reality of her death is still so hard to grasp and bear. I feel like she is still with me in some sense everyday, and burying her ashes will not be a comfort but a searing pain to my heart. I could not stop crying all that day. I can't even look at a picture of the stone on my email. I guess I still can not face the truth of her passing, Her service with family and friends happened 16 months ago, I got through it once but don't think I could go through another. Thank you all for listening, I am just not ready. Love Lynn

Comment by Connie K on March 16, 2015 at 6:45pm

I feel the same Teresa

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