Sharon
  • Female
  • Torrance, CA
  • United States
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About Me:
57 year old married mother who is having a hard time coping with the loss of my son, Troy.
About my Loss:
My beautiful 24 year old son died suddenly last Sunday. We are heartbroken and unable to function.
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Sharon's Blog

Today is my sons viewing.

I'm so nervous about going tonight... I dont want to see him this way... but I want to see him if it makes sense.  I pray that I have the strenth to make it through tonight and the funeral on Saturday.  I am mad at God for making me go through this... I don't know what I did to deserve such suffering...

Posted on February 26, 2015 at 12:40pm — 2 Comments

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At 10:36am on August 20, 2015, Rj said…
I have missed two weeks of work and still feel awful. I Am stuck in this big dark lonely hole. Medication, counseling, nothing helps. My pain is much stronger than any of those. Hard watching the college kids moving into their dorms...walking around town, full of life and spirit. Larry would have been finishing up his degree in education. I just feel so sick every day, all day, it never goes away.
At 5:36pm on April 28, 2015, Jill E said…
Haven't posted too much lately. Sending you big Hugs!
At 11:01am on March 26, 2015, Rj said…
Odd you say that sharon. This has been an awful morning for me also. Last night larry was in my dreams but just sporadic and at the age of about 8, not his current age of 27. I woke up several times and tried to fall back to sleep to pull him back in so i could continue the dream but it didnt happen. Every night i speak with him to please come visit in my dreams so maybe he has settled into his new role and trying to make contact. I do not know how we can all learn how to live and cope with this type of suffering. It will never go away, our only hope is to learn how to manage the pain, it is our life and will always be our life but again finding a way to manage it. I understand the feelings of meeting with his girlfriend....it may be best to work on letting that part of your life go. Our lives are different now, we are not the same people, we will never be who we once were. I am trying to accept this and some people, with no fault of their own, will just not be part of my future. Maybe our circle will be tiny, maybe we will have to meet new people, maybe we need to find a new hobby...maybe, maybe?? We know our sweet bsbies would hate to see us suffering in such a way, but convincing ourselves in a totally different story. We are all bonded here, a place that nobody could ever understand, only if you have lost a child, no matter the age, no matter the cause. In 27 years i haven't gone more than 3 days at a time without hearing larrys voice, never 2 weeks without our meeting up to catch up on life. My dreams of him getting married, hsving kids, babysitting his children after i retire, the sound if little feet again...those were my hopes and dreams. I now have empty dreams but most of all, i have an empty heart. I find i am reaching out to reading more on how to understand this grief and mourning.. we have to get up, be gentle with ourselves and pray to God that this pain will subside one minute at a time. Keep talking to our babies and pray to them for the strength to get thru this. Much love...
At 9:43pm on March 25, 2015, Monique Angelich said…

I cant even let myself think about it. Who can understand? Do I want them to have these thoughts? It seems cruel to share my dark thoughts.

At 10:52am on March 24, 2015, Rj said…
Sharon...how are you coping today? Our lives shattered, i know we both lost our boys exactly one week apart, i lost my heart on 2/1/15. From one grieving mother to you and all the others.
At 7:52pm on February 26, 2015, Jesse's Mom said…

Thank you for your prayers. Thankfully the judge ruled against her request and she will set in jail until our trial date in July. Her lawyer tried to minimize my son's death to a mere "trafic accident".

At 9:06pm on February 25, 2015, PJ ESPO said…

Hi Sharon

Thank you for acknowledging what happened to me  and  I am very  sorry for the tragic and sudden loss of your son. We who are here can honestly say "I know how you feel " and truly mean it .You are welcome to share your feelings with me at any time for I share and understand your pain ...

PJ

At 8:55pm on February 22, 2015, Jill E said…
Hey darlin'. I am so with you. I will be 57 in April and I feel so much older. I wish I could read. I use to love to read but can't concentrate. I totally understand also about thinking you are having an OK day then BAM it hits you right in the face and you are back to the bottom once again. We will hold each other.
At 8:21pm on February 20, 2015, Fran said…

Sharon, as nurses we feel that we can take care of everyone else, we forget to take care of ourselves. We feel we're a failure if anyone dies on our watch, especially a family member. I'm so sorry about your son. My son is 25, my daughter is 23 and I can't imagine being without them. With my husband now gone the kids are my lifeline. 

At 12:42pm on February 20, 2015, Jill E said…
Last night was the worst yet. Sleep from 9:30 to 10:30, then not back to sleep until 3:30 am and got up at 5:30. Plus my heart pounded so bad. My doctor called me yesterday evening, she deleted a med that I am on for something else. See if I sleep better tonight. If not then she is going to change things around. She mentioned a med that is for blood pressure that can help with the horrible dreams. I believe she is hopefully give me something for the anxiety. I will let you know. She is going to call me Saturday-tomorrow. Talk again soon. Hugs
 
 
 

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