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Comment by Dolly on July 21, 2015 at 7:06pm

I can't wait to hear the song Connie.... we can sing and play it along with heaven.. I really believe that... so many times music has been the sign between Brandon and us since he died.. in so many different ways.. its like music is a bridge between us on some plane we don't really understand and that many not only deny but scoff at... let them deny it and scoff.. it is real... and I think there are other connections between life in heaven and life here.... like light... things that involve light and electrical things.. some how the energy between the different realms can connect in ways science has no proof of as far as we know.. but science is ever evolving, and ever discovering new 'truths' so just because it isn't something commonly accepted or already 'proven' by science, doesn't mean it isn't real and doesn't exist... I hold on tight to every bit of evidence that my son lives on someplace where I will join him one day... God willing... and even for those who don't believe in God, I believe truth will show us all the way to the ultimate Truth one day... whatever we call it or think it is.. we will find it and our loved ones will be there...

Comment by Rj on July 21, 2015 at 6:25pm

If i did not have my cat dog and parents, i would already be with my son

Comment by Rj on July 21, 2015 at 5:56pm

It is so very lonesome. Will be 6 months on the 1st. I feel absolutely no change if anything i feel the loss even more. I agree...death will be the only reliever for this type of pain. I dont care to say it because that is how i feel.

Comment by Sharon on July 21, 2015 at 4:53pm

Happy birthday to your dear daughter in heaven. She's the same age as my son Troy. Sharon, Teresa, We so miss our children. We will never stop missing them. They are part of us. As mothers we are supposed to care for our children, do things for them. It's so lonesome.

Comment by Sharon Robertson on July 21, 2015 at 4:05pm

Happy birthday my beautiful girl... wish you were here to have a coffee with me.... you would have been 24 today xxxxxxxxx

Can stop crying today ....man life sucks .... please pray for me cause I think death would be much better than life ...... the further away she is more of the reality sets in and I don't want it ... I dont want her to be in the past I want her to be "here and now"

Comment by Teresa D. on July 21, 2015 at 5:54am

September it will be 3 years.  I never experienced a panic attack until this past week. I experience 2 of them.  Didn't know what was happening until I mentioned it to a good friend who recognized it.

It was a little scary. One of them I had to pull to the side of the road and let it pass.  So much is changing.  I never thought that would be something I would experience.

I'm trying to "stay in the day" and not focus so much on September but it is really hard.  My mind just can't wrap around that I have been living without my Michael this long. 

I have been telling myself day after day "I can't do this" but day after day I do it. 

THIS SUCKS!

Comment by Ammy on July 20, 2015 at 12:33pm

Dolly, I feel happiness in your message and that is so good.  I am so happy you had a good visit this year and your grandson is adorable.

Comment by Ammy on July 20, 2015 at 12:31pm

Connie, I am so happy for you that your song is coming together.  Maybe you needed that retreat to finish.

Wishing/hoping everyone's week is a little gentler and kinder.  Hugs.

Comment by Connie K on July 19, 2015 at 11:34pm

Do that Dolly. These signs are real and it's time we give the them their do respect. Believe and accept that our children live on. It sucks that they are not here but they still live on somewhere, and someday we will be reunited. Until then, these signs are are "mail" from them. I have  had so many messages from my son. How can I ever  pretend they aren't real when they are the only thing that makes me feel like ANYTHING is real?

 Soon I will  be able to post my song that I feel was guided by my son and  I feel like it is something I can still do something with him. These signs are real. They are all that is real to me anymore. It is so hard to live in the world as it was.

I had a very interesting experience with feathers recently. When I was at my retreat, we went for a hike in the Sequoia National Forest. i found a feather as we walked and I heard a message that said "This is Laurie's feather" She was our guide. I said "here Laurie - this feather is for you" She told me later that this exact feather had been given to her the week before on the same hike and she had lost it. Her mother had passed 3 year ago and this was her sign that her mother was watching over her. She said"You know about my thing with feathers right?" No. I didn't. But I heard that this feather was for her - not me. I went on to hear the lyrics to my song ... now the wind is blowin' like whispers of the angels.... and was able to finish my song. I will post it soon but I am so tangled up in this grief I can hardly deal with any of this..... You, my friends are the only ones who will truly get it. Listen closely, pay attention to all of those signs that you may think "that's weird". It's not weird. It is truth. Hugs to you all.

Comment by Dolly on July 19, 2015 at 7:59pm

I was just sending a message to a friend who lost her dad a while back and she keeps finding feathers all over the place.. I asked her the following question and then thought I wanted to share it in here for maybe an idea for us too... what do you think?  here is the question I asked her about the feathers...

"do you make the feathers into anything? like maybe a mobile with bells or chimes ? I think it would be wonderful to do that and hang it in the window... maybe with crystals too so little rainbows would sprinkle over the room as the feathers flew about and the little chimes sang... like when the chimes sounded it would be like a little hello from heaven each time.... all things are possible with God so why NOT??"

Then I thought some more and decided to send her THIS message.. and then decided to send it to you too...

"I think I'm going to make something like that to hang in my own window.. I don't find feathers about... not YET anyway... but I think I'll start looking around and thinking about what I could put into a little hanging for my window.. things that would remind me of Brandon and others I have lost... and some pretty bling to make it sparkle and catch the sunlight and the moonlight and the light from heaven... yep I'm going to do that..."

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