April 2017 Blog Posts (38)

Moving life FORWARD, against all odds

Moving life forward is relative, isn´t it? Basically there is no point in getting into action mode until we understand WHERE we are going or WHY. In the many hard times and multiple losses in my life, I gained EXPERIENCE that life is not about who MOVES FASTER, rather who chooses wisely the DIRECTION they are advancing life TOWARDS. There are too many roads to take and much to invest of time, energy, and resources. In society, it´s common to confuse wealth with health, doing versus quietly…

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Added by silvia maria on April 22, 2017 at 1:00pm — No Comments

Finding NEW BALANCE

Sometimes we suffer from wanting a lot things that are not to our actual benefit. I find most of the loops in our minds leading to acke for the lack of anything can be simply because we are not sleeping well. And because of all we went through, the mind goes back to what it was. But it´s not by facing the world´s crap or putting the face out there to get hit that we get anywhere GOOD in ters of life balance. In fact, it´s quite the opposite. Limit exposre and realize when exceds craptometer…

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Added by silvia maria on April 22, 2017 at 10:02am — No Comments

CAREGIVING versus GIVING SELF a LIFE

CAREGIVING versus GIVING SELF a LIFE. Being a caregiver can be quite draining. As I divorce myself from that situation and deal with OWN life issues and things...the path back is quite something. Everyone around got used to what I did for the sick one, and never really bothered to ask if it was ok with me. Not that I wasn´t there or didn´t have my own opinion, just that I held back and kept to the back of my head the thoughts and words which would not be of any benefit to that person elder…

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Added by silvia maria on April 20, 2017 at 7:30pm — 1 Comment

RESTING TIME is LONGER while processing a loss

The clock stops. It´s that time of the day to get lost and found in a realm of emotions by NOT neglecting. Just like letting the waves come and go until the waters can calm down. To allow whatever helps dig deeper that PEACE that can be hard to find outside our own SELF there. To find a level of interactions that arent just crap on top of a mountain of crap, you know, that limit that allows to reverse easily from bad to good, to actually start enjoying life some more and more. But because…

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Added by silvia maria on April 20, 2017 at 6:00pm — No Comments

WHAT Ifs...DETACHING

DETACH. When illness or whatever loss we face in the first person or else, we are forced to rethink what plans we had that will no longer work. Its like crying for what should, could, would have been IF that NEVER HAPPENED. Yes, the future of our PLANS change constantly shaped by the options in the PRESENT. Future is nothing more than lots of present time summed up. And the incident of loss is just a sometimes cruel reminder for connecting to the present and erase the projections and…

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Added by silvia maria on April 20, 2017 at 5:30pm — No Comments

Feeling sad

It’s been an year now since my mom was diagnosed with cancer, she is getting worse and barely hanging on.My dad sister and I can’t take care of her on our own much longer, she has always been there for me not havering her in my life is going to be very hard.

Added by Lindsay McComb​ on April 20, 2017 at 1:12pm — 1 Comment

Ordinary life...back to the BASICS

Ordinary life...back to the BASICS. What are the basic needs? Shelter, food, health, and build a life allowing loving people around us. All else that does not construct or build to that, is a waste of ENERGY and TIME. When one is hurting, they tend to relate to others on the same level. Meaning they are choosing to enter and build others up or whatever they think is good, not realizing that is just temporary relief. Because realistically speaking no one can stop each other hurt because the…

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Added by silvia maria on April 20, 2017 at 12:30pm — No Comments

TUNNEL VISION

About TUNNEL VISION. Sometimes life is hitting us from so many directions that we tend to have TUNNEL VISION. Meaning we feel not strong enough to fight in all directions, and take the path of least resistance. Problem is that that is not the direction we would choose ever if we were to disconsider all the pressure. Thus we drag all this opposition and let this determine where we are going, and by dragging seems much like a person trying to walk with a bag full of rocks thrown our way that…

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Added by silvia maria on April 20, 2017 at 12:00pm — No Comments

RESCUING SELF...work in progress

Sometimes life seems like a full bag of tons of emotions, and much like a vulcano about to explode is my daily life filled with drama like a mexican soapopera. But the drama attracts more of much the same. And all of a sudden reality is full of crap I forgot where I signed up for it. Well I didn´t. In my case it´s time to refuse answering phone or door and sleep, rest, restore by setting the pace to heal SELF instead the clear option which is to buy sides in dramas that aren´t about me at…

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Added by silvia maria on April 20, 2017 at 11:30am — No Comments

A time of vulnerabilty

About VULNERABILITY. Sometimes we attract shadows to our light. Just because we are wounded, however, it does not put us in the must deal with whatever crap comes our way. Simply put, a LIE is a lie. One can dance around it, paint colorful, draw a heart around, etc etc. Nevertheless a lie that is forced upon as truth all really does is show a lack of character. Some peers can cross the line between right and wrong as if it never existed, and some do this like second skin. And however…

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Added by silvia maria on April 19, 2017 at 4:30pm — No Comments

Consuming time to process loss

I am having a lot to cope. Mother ilness and my own, and family members not useful, quite the opposite. We switched care givers and their poor decisions put me in a bigger problem and I had to stop seeing her. I fought a lot and still dump some crap from time to time. Now I try to be quiet and restore some leve of peace. With my ilness I felt emotionally vulnerable. One step forward for 2 back and taking it a day at a time. But hard to hide well enough so I can find some balance between…

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Added by silvia maria on April 17, 2017 at 7:30pm — No Comments

From the Heart

Losing anyone sets you on the path of going through stages that only you can determine. However, the promise that you will get through them and come out of the tunnel into the sunlight is somewhere in the back of your mind.  Most people come through in time.  The promise of being happy is so alluring that it cannot help but generate an interest in moving forward.

~Mike

 

Spirit

 …

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Added by Mike on April 16, 2017 at 12:19pm — 1 Comment

10 Steps To A New Life After Loss by Christina Rasmussen

Found this article today and decided to save it here:

From Hay House by Christina Rasmussen

Imagine living a beautiful life with your husband and two baby daughters. You have just moved to a new state and city, loving every moment of it. I was 30 years old and he was 31. Change happened fast, as if in a scary movie. The ground we walked on shifted and we had to learn to fly…

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Added by Nora on April 13, 2017 at 10:35pm — No Comments

From the Heart

First, I had to learn to love myself and to define myself individually without the “couple-ness” that was so easy to hide behind in the past.  I had to set the boundaries I was willing to work within, and most importantly, picture what I was supposed to be like when I became the new me.  I know now that I was functioning without a base of my own.  I believe grief’s job is to knock out your foundation so you never feel steady on your feet.  When that happens, though, confusion, fright, and…

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Added by Mike on April 8, 2017 at 12:53pm — No Comments

i am not me

i am not me coz of loss coz of so mush loss shes gon me shes gon sisne 2012

Added by dream moon JO B on April 5, 2017 at 6:07pm — No Comments

birthday

another year without you, today is your birthday, I feel so empty without you, my beautiful son how I miss you, I cry everyday, I pray everyday to be with you. I now mom will give you a wonderfull party, but I want nothing more than to die.  have a beautifull birthday to my special son, I love you always and forever   mom .

Added by kim on April 5, 2017 at 6:22am — No Comments

Help

Hi I have just found and joined this site and really need some help to go on, I lost my partner 3 weeks ago, we have been together since I was 16, I am 51 now. I am in such shock, she was fine in the morning, I have a broken ankle so she was bustling around looking after me, then she said she felt hot. She sat down and said I think I'm dying, I said don't be daft you've done to much just get your breath, then she looked at me, grabbed my hand said I'm going and just died.

What do I do, I… Continue

Added by Jackie cooke on April 5, 2017 at 4:55am — 5 Comments

i have experience sudden death

Hi Everyone.

   I have been thru sudden death and I understand what people go thru each day when they experience that in there lives. What happened to me I was sitting on my chair in the living room. my late husband told me he was going to take a shower and get dressed and watch tv. he looked very grey he was not himself at all. so I did not think much about it.  so I went to go check in on him. he was…

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Added by alice smithline on April 4, 2017 at 8:00pm — No Comments

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Jennifer replied to Robin H's discussion Lost my Partner who wasn't my partner in the group Being the Other Woman/Other Man
"Welcome to the group.  I lost my partner on February 5th this year, so it's still pretty raw for me too.  Reading through your story really touched a chord with me.  Like you, I didn't think I would ever find a group like…"
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This is for anyone who has lost their lover to death and you were the other woman/other man in their life. We have to grieve in silence. I can't find any support groups and feel like I'm the only one going through this situationSee More
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Speed Weasel posted a blog post

Assumptions

An assumption is an unexamined belief: what is thought to be true without ever really realizing that we think in that way. For better or worse, understanding starts with entertaining the idea that something is true.  Truly profound thoughts generally come to light from the relaxation of these (flawed) assumptions.  This is where I find myself today...Perhaps, one of the more significant drivers to pushing down the loss and grief at the time of the accident, ignoring it and mindlessly walking…See More
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