Ordinary life...back to the BASICS. What are the basic needs? Shelter, food, health, and build a life allowing loving people around us. All else that does not construct or build to that, is a waste of ENERGY and TIME. When one is hurting, they tend to relate to others on the same level. Meaning they are choosing to enter and build others up or whatever they think is good, not realizing that is just temporary relief. Because realistically speaking no one can stop each other hurt because the pain belongs to the owner ONLY, and thus will stay probably before and after we give this person a bandaid. Kind words are lovely and of course its beneficial to pour out in a healthy manner the hurt in the best ways we can express. But not all peers are KIND in return. In fact human nature is to deny after a little healing the role that another had trying to help. By doing that, we cross a fine line where we start belonging to their hurt instead having a 2 way exchange between what hurts one and the other. That´s why I think support groups and writing does so much good, besides talking here and then to friends. Not relying much at all in one thus the hurt can´t be used for anyone´s particular agenda. Sometimes aquaintance are ok to hear bits and pieces of our story, but not one single person have the entire story per say, so we are not used or abused in the name of trust by making a single individual a place of all hopes. For that, we have to realize most people will interact on the ordinary level, and most hurt healing is a deep inwards curve, a path we MUST master to walk alone the best we can making forst KIND to OUR SOUL FIRST. Living free of the drama level of interaction, meaning enduring our own hurt mostly inwards makes for an ordinary life type of exchange which is that INDEED most people will ever deserve to know.

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My wife passed 5 days before christmas

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