All Blog Posts Tagged 'Love' (13)

A Return to GriefShare and a Crisis of Identity

So I found myself headed back to the GriefShare support group last Monday.  I was actually considering stopping my attending. Not because anything has been solved or fixed or resolved, but because things had settled down, and my problems have moved onto other issues.  Then on a random scroll down Facebook lane, I see a posting from Jen's sister, Dallas, that her oldest daughter, Brooklyn, had been killed in Omaha a few days past. This tore me up. This family has endured more pain than any…

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Added by Speed Weasel on September 25, 2024 at 1:00pm — 2 Comments

Assumptions

An assumption is an unexamined belief: what is thought to be true without ever really realizing that we think in that way. For better or worse, understanding starts with entertaining the idea that something is true.  Truly profound thoughts generally come to light from the relaxation of these (flawed) assumptions.  This is where I find myself today...



Perhaps, one of the more significant drivers to pushing down the loss and grief at the time of the accident,…

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Added by Speed Weasel on March 13, 2024 at 4:29pm — No Comments

Down the Rabbit Hole…

Several years ago therapists #1 and #3 each suggested a writing assignment.  Journal what life would look and feel like had Jen’s accident not happened.  At first the suggestion sounded intriguing, I love writing and find it therapeutic.  After some reflection though, I declined.  There were too many iterations (especially considering the infinite universe theory) and what makes me think that the rosy-colored, cherry-picked version that I focus on would have ever happened?  So many ways…

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Added by Speed Weasel on February 7, 2023 at 6:00pm — No Comments

New Year Yet Old Memories and Dreams Continue

I (intellectually) know that grief cycles, ups and downs, yet I still let myself fall into the thinking that I was somehow getting 'better'.  Memories and thoughts were decreasing in their intensity and frequency.  Even had a couple days in December without thoughts of Jen popping into my mind.  The emotions that followed were not so gut wrenching.  Dreams were absent of her (sometimes even despite requesting she appear).

Then the turn of the year and a completely new dream…

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Added by Speed Weasel on January 4, 2023 at 11:12am — 1 Comment

The Importance of Sympathy Cards

It may seem insignificant or outdated to write a sympathy card to someone who is grieving, however sympathy cards are one of the most powerful ways to show someone how much you care. Through the years it has been common practice to write sympathy cards to the family and friends of someone we know when they pass away. They continue to send a powerful and encouraging message serving as a reminder of love in the midst of loss. Writing a sympathy letter can be a…

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Added by Benny Avina on March 25, 2022 at 9:35am — No Comments

GriefShare Support Group

<Sidenote First>>>...The night before the support group meeting, Jen appeared in my dreams again.  We were back at high school age.  I sat down with her at a lunch table, but it felt like we hadn't 'officially' met yet.  Awkward stares and moments of silence.  I started to talk and then she was standing, staring, concerned.  It had a feeling like, "How dare you talk to me, you don't know me."  Well, maybe not that harsh, but definitely a…

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Added by Speed Weasel on May 6, 2021 at 9:00am — No Comments

Can You Spare a Dime?

I thought I was done. Recovery in process. Moving on...But the Tilt-A-Whirl does not stop. Or maybe it is more accurate to say that my mind does not let it stop.

After meeting Jen's family back in August 2020, I had been reflecting on the visit. The soul crushing sadness is gone. Replaced by a low-level sadness, sure. But I think that I needed confirmation that the person I knew was really the person others knew her as too. I was afraid that the two would not be…
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Added by Speed Weasel on April 9, 2021 at 2:30pm — No Comments

Meeting the Family

The meet-up happened!

Of course, it went even better than I expected.  Intellectually, I knew it would.  Emotionally, I was shaking in my boots.  Jennifer’s sister has always been incredibly open, warm, encouraging, and welcoming.  There was no reason to expect any different.  However, I did start to experience Dallas’ devious (in a fun…

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Added by Speed Weasel on September 11, 2020 at 3:00pm — No Comments

Meeting Jennifer's Family…Very Nervous

So fast forward to mid-2020.  Dreams with Jennifer still occur, at an approximate monthly rate.  The emotional impact is not as debilitating as in previous months.  There is still this nagging notion that there is a message that needs to be transferred.  Still don't know what the message is or if I am delivering or receiving the message, just that there is a message.  Then it happens that I have an excuse to go through Topeka, to possibly meet Jennifer’s sister.  In…

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Added by Speed Weasel on August 14, 2020 at 1:30pm — No Comments

Sucked Back Into My Grief Vortex

My grief journey seemed to be stabilizing…I literally went through all the ‘normal’ steps, processes, and feelings again, 30 years after the event, as though I was going through it the first time.  I have mentioned how I stuffed it down, was not able (or willing) to process or adequately deal with it in real time.  Then 30 years go by, a couple of dreams bring the wound to the forefront, and BAM! I am in the thick of it.  In…

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Added by Speed Weasel on December 11, 2019 at 10:30am — No Comments

End of a Chapter, but It Is a Long Book...

Looking back at the totality of Jennifer’s accident, death, and ultimately my grieving process, it is strange that my psyche knew that I could not handle the loss and delayed it…albeit 30 years.  While I went through a grieving process in 1988, it (obviously) was not enough.  Perhaps abbreviated to save my sanity.  Whatever the reasons, it seems that my mind (or soul) knew that I was not able to deal with the magnitude of this…

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Added by Speed Weasel on January 14, 2019 at 9:30am — No Comments

Grief Unpaused, 30 Years Later

(Pardon the length, brevity is not in my nature and this has been bottled far too long.)

 

The Notification

 

I was going to school at Kansas State, but that day had returned to Topeka to visit friends.  I rolled into my parents’ house about 3am on the 18th of October and went in to squeeze my mother’s foot, as was the custom to let them know I was…

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Added by Speed Weasel on October 24, 2018 at 1:00pm — No Comments

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Speed Weasel commented on Speed Weasel's blog post A Return to GriefShare and a Crisis of Identity
"GriefShare is a church based support group. They do have meetings online, but the usual format is a group of people experiencing a loss getting together weekly to watch videos (13 weeks total) about grief and loss. After the video, we talk about the…"
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