Mike
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  • Hillsboro, OR
  • United States
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Latest Activity

Mike posted a blog post

From the Heart

I think being alone and being lonely are two different things. I find that when I am “being alone,” I am watching television at weird hours, thinking it is normal for a single person to think about such things as family pictures on the wall; wondering what happened to the little kids in those pictures, and thinking aloud that they all made it. Being alone and making a meal require little effort. I simply choose between an avocado or peanut butter. Neither one is necessarily a great choice, but…See More
Saturday
Mike posted a blog post

From the Heart

What is a perfect love? Is there such a thing? Does it require anything special to hold on to it? What does it feel like, and can that feeling be maintained for a lifetime? Of course, I do not have the answers, but as usual, I have my opinions. I think there are so many kinds of love that a perfect love to me is one that I needed at a particular point in life.For instance, having been married for so long, Barb’s love for me was perfect. It provided a base, security, a great family, and, most…See More
Jun 8
Mike commented on Mike's blog post From the Heart
"Thank you, Amber, I do believe that the little things add up and lead at least me in a forward direction.  Don't get me wrong, I like the huge neon signs as well, but most of the time I have to settle for the subtle ones. I love your…"
May 31
Amber O commented on Mike's blog post From the Heart
"Hello.  I couldn't agree more with you on this. My 18 year old little sister passed away from cancer and we were very close, so as you can assume - it changed my life completely. When she passed, I drove myself crazy for the past 3 years,…"
May 31
Mike posted a blog post

From the Heart

I realize I spend a lot of my time waiting for something to happen. Since Barb died, my life has been made up of connecting the dots with the hope that they will lead somewhere. I am so convinced they will continue to guide me that I sometimes forget that it is not necessary to be like the kid on Christmas morning, patiently waiting to see what is going to be in the box. Just allowing things to happen, noticing them, and reacting to them would probably be less stressful. Instead, I am always…See More
May 29
morgan commented on Mike's blog post From the Heart
"I agree Mike.  And I absolutely understand the choice to not want to die.  And for some that is what happens.  I guess at times I just wonder how much of it comes from feeling that we have to somehow reconstruct under the pressure of…"
May 22
Mike commented on Mike's blog post From the Heart
"Thank you for your comments, Morgan. I have no problem being accused of writing from inspiration to give hope.  Grief is a different journey for everyone, and I would be the last one to judge someone else's journey.  My writings cover…"
May 22
morgan commented on Mike's blog post From the Heart
"I find your posts to be written for inspiration but also somewhat disingenuous.  Not in a mean way but in a way that is pretentious.  Not meant to harm and certainly aspire to give hope.  But I am not sure that it isn't false…"
May 22
Mike posted a blog post

From the Heart

Losing anyone sets you on the path of going through stages that only you can determine. However, the promise that you will get through them and come out of the tunnel into the sunlight is somewhere in the back of your mind. Most people come through in time. The promise of being happy is so alluring that it cannot help but generate an interest in moving forward.     The reality of being amid that pain story leaves most of us wondering whether the established world really has any clue as to what…See More
May 22
Mike commented on Mike's blog post From the Heart
"Thank you, Lynda. You are very kind. I agree about the "new different" I have found that no matter what loss has occurred, we can't help but be changed.  "
May 16
Lynda commented on Mike's blog post From the Heart
"Mike, I'm so sorry for your loss. I heard a phrase a long time ago and I'm now using it to get through my mother's death. It captures what you said in your post. I just keep saying "this is a new different". You are very…"
May 16
Mike commented on Mike's blog post From the Heart
"That is beautiful wisdom Alice, thank you for sharing. I have found that neat bows aren't reality. "
May 13
Alice Thompson commented on Mike's blog post From the Heart
"I thank you too, Mike. You are honest and have written the truth, which is rare because people so often fall into the trap of tying up those loose, drifting ends into a neat bow. It reminds me of the simple advice a fellow, wiser griever gave me…"
May 13
Mike commented on Mike's blog post From the Heart
"Your welcome Anne. We are all in this together. "
May 12
AnneJ commented on Mike's blog post From the Heart
"{{{ Mike }}} Thank you for helping me along. With respect, AnneJ."
May 12
Mike posted a blog post

From the Heart

What I have learned: I can walk farther than I thought, ride a bike and look cool at the same time, and hike into the woods while listening for that voice that I can hear only when the wind is blowing through the trees.I have learned a family can survive the loss and get stronger day by day. I have learned kids are resilient and make it their quest to remind you that in some ways you now have become the child. Also, you are not allowed to die for a very long time.  That would be unacceptable. I…See More
May 12

Profile Information

About Me:
I am a Author of a newly released book entitled "My Compass, Our Story-a journey through death and life." I am also a certified grief counselor which I took on after the death of my wife.
About my Loss:
My wife died eight years ago after a short struggle with diabetes. We were married for 34 years.
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Author

Mike's Blog

From the Heart

I think being alone and being lonely are two different things. I find that when I am “being alone,” I am watching television at weird hours, thinking it is normal for a single person to think about such things as family pictures on the wall; wondering what happened to the little kids in those pictures, and thinking aloud that they all made it. Being alone and making a meal require little effort. I simply choose between an avocado or peanut butter. Neither one is necessarily a…

Continue

Posted on June 17, 2017 at 12:04pm — 1 Comment

From the Heart

What is a perfect love? Is there such a thing? Does it require anything special to hold on to it? What does it feel like, and can that feeling be maintained for a lifetime? Of course, I do not have the answers, but as usual, I have my opinions. I think there are so many kinds of love that a perfect love to me is one that I needed at a particular point in life.

For instance, having been married for so long, Barb’s love for me was perfect. It provided a base, security, a great family,…

Continue

Posted on June 8, 2017 at 12:49pm

From the Heart

I realize I spend a lot of my time waiting for something to happen. Since Barb died, my life has been made up of connecting the dots with the hope that they will lead somewhere. I am so convinced they will continue to guide me that I sometimes forget that it is not necessary to be like the kid on Christmas morning, patiently waiting to see what is going to be in the box. Just allowing things to happen, noticing them, and reacting to them would probably be less stressful. Instead, I am always…

Continue

Posted on May 29, 2017 at 7:11pm — 2 Comments

From the Heart

Losing anyone sets you on the path of going through stages that only you can determine. However, the promise that you will get through them and come out of the tunnel into the sunlight is somewhere in the back of your mind. Most people come through in time. The promise of being happy is so alluring that it cannot help but generate an interest in moving forward.

     The reality of being amid that pain story leaves most of us wondering whether the established…

Continue

Posted on May 22, 2017 at 10:16am — 3 Comments

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Latest Activity

KIM Montgomery replied to KIM Montgomery's discussion Missing my Best Friend in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Yes, that is exactly how I feel."
8 minutes ago
KIM Montgomery replied to KIM Montgomery's discussion Missing my Best Friend in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Went to the 2nd session of support group.  Grief is grief and hurts no matter what the loss.  It hurts, you feel alone.  I have learned one thing from group is we are not alone. There are 2 different groups those that are…"
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Jean replied to Darlene's discussion My grief has made me feel numb from the neck down, has anyone else felt this?
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9 hours ago
Nora replied to KIM Montgomery's discussion Missing my Best Friend in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Kim, ladies, I just found some thought that actually explains how I feel now: Sounds familiar? Grieving and trying to be nice, crying and smiling to look nice next minute... It is a great movie anyway - watch when you can."
yesterday
Nora replied to KIM Montgomery's discussion Missing my Best Friend in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Thank you, Jackie. Those horrible panic attacks just visit us often. Suddenly the whole world is turning black and no oxygen anymore. Jackie, I accept you as acting Steve - I hope he does not mind - and I really appreciate your support - I know you…"
yesterday
AnneJ replied to KIM Montgomery's discussion Missing my Best Friend in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi, Kim. Please don't feel sorry about discussing different topics; it's how our minds work and your words are a comfort to so many. Just knowing someone feels the same, hurts the same, has the same inner voice... the empty bed, the…"
yesterday
KIM Montgomery replied to KIM Montgomery's discussion Missing my Best Friend in the group Lost My Spouse...
"I try not come on here in the early morning as I start work early so I can go home early.  That was my routine.  We would get up in the morning, have a cup of coffee and I would go off to work.  I looked forward to going home a little…"
yesterday
Jackie cooke replied to KIM Montgomery's discussion Missing my Best Friend in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Nora, you are a beautiful women with a beautiful heart. Steve loved you very much but remember you were a success before you met him and not because of him. We need to give ourselves time to grieve it's only been 3 months, who knows if we will…"
Tuesday
Nora posted a status
"Hi, Pumpkin! 3 months without you today. Started looking for a job. I know you are proud of me now. But it is so hard without you. Love""
Tuesday
Nora replied to KIM Montgomery's discussion Missing my Best Friend in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Ladies, I just had one more pain caused by simple actions that I even did not pay attention to before. Well, I sat to start looking for a job. It was already hard as I have a "meeting people & leaving the house" anxiety. Also, it…"
Tuesday
Jennifer B posted a photo
Tuesday
Lost with out him replied to KIM Montgomery's discussion Missing my Best Friend in the group Lost My Spouse...
"I too feel exactly as everyone here has discribed it. Four months in.. Lost the love of my life. I feeling like the walking dead.. I function because I am expected to. I go to work because I haven't any choice. I have to sell my house.( for…"
Tuesday
Bethany posted a blog post

One down...

Having a glass of wine for my mom tonight and trying to wrap my head around the fact that she's been gone for a year. A whole year. A year without daily emails just so I'd wake up to an email every morning. A year without daily Skype chats just to catch up even though nothing much ever changed. A year without an e-card for every random holiday. A year without hearing about the dumb things my dad was or wasn't doing. A year without my best friend. A year without my mom.See More
Monday
gregory harvey posted a blog post

National TV show wants to help unsolved cold cases

I am the producer of a nationally televised crime docu-series. I am currently developing a new series focusing on unsolved cold cases, where the perpetrator is known but remains uncharged, many times because they are already in prison for life for another crime. That should not deter anyone else from getting justice. We will bring in outside, independent cold case detectives to rework cases to see if we can help. The series will underscore the hope, strength and tenacity of the families and…See More
Monday
morgan replied to KIM Montgomery's discussion Missing my Best Friend in the group Lost My Spouse...
"I really hate to reply to this thread as I am four years and almost five months into the loss of the love of my life and I can hardly stand the roller coaster I am on.  I am careening off the tracks "again" and I come here to reassure…"
Monday
KIM Montgomery replied to KIM Montgomery's discussion Missing my Best Friend in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Thank you all for the kind support here.  It does help.  I too feel lost at time.  This morning I was up at 3:30 watching TV; my alarm goes off at 4:45, no sense in trying to go back to sleep.  Like some one else said on here, my…"
Monday
Jackie cooke replied to KIM Montgomery's discussion Missing my Best Friend in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Kim, your not alone, as Nora's says every word you say matches how I feel. I have lost my best friend, soul mate, partner, my lover. Now I'm alone with my dog and cat. OVer 70 people and the funeral but none of them ring or call. People…"
Monday
Nora replied to KIM Montgomery's discussion Missing my Best Friend in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Kim, If I could I would just copy each word of yours and paste it here. I am exactly in the same boat. I know how you fell and what is going on with you. I will have 3 months tomorrow and today is 13 weeks since my Steve just gone, disappeared into…"
Monday
KIM Montgomery added a discussion to the group Lost My Spouse...
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Missing my Best Friend

Again, I am missing my best friend tomorrow will be 7 weeks.  I went back to work last week and it helped some.   Getting into a routine helped.  The issue I have is when I get home he is not there.  That was our time together. Yesterday being father's day the adult kids were lost as was I. My son lives close by and my daughter is 300 miles away.  I was alone without the kids, just my 2 little dogs.  I am so thankful for them.They say go back to work it will help, they say it has been 6 weeks…See More
Monday
Mike H. posted a blog post

Mourning by Definition

MourningThe outward expression of grief over a death or some other calamity. In Bible times, it was customary to mourn for a period of time. In addition to weeping loudly, mourners wore special clothes, put ashes on their head, ripped their garments, and beat their chest. Professional mourners were sometimes invited to funerals.—Ge 23:2;…See More
Monday

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