Jon-Paul Ackerman
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  • Tavares, FL
  • United States
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Latest Activity

morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"This website is like a secret world we inhabit where the platitudes and scorn for not fitting in are understood as hogwash.  We know better than anyone on the outside of our grief how this has affected us.  I am so tired of being labeled…"
46 minutes ago
Nancy commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Lovely pictures everyone.   Thank you for sharing.   I am in the same boat.  I just exist.   "
2 hours ago
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I,m grateful that I found this site.  It's sort of like besides my family, you all are the only friends I have left.  I do have a couple that are long distance, but don't get to see them very often.  All my so called local…"
3 hours ago
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Here's one of our permanent bed with names blocked out."
3 hours ago
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Linda, We went on that same excursion off a cruise in 2003.  Here is a pic that was taken on the ship when we renewed our vows at a ceremony performed by the Captain."
3 hours ago
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Morgan & Joe, Thanks for sharing your thoughts. You put into words the horror I go through everyday. Going on year 7 without my Husband Julian. He was my whole life and I want to be with him but I can't. If I didn't believe in God I…"
8 hours ago
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Joe, 49 years is a long time.  Long enough to embed yourself in each other and there is nothing that will soothe the tearing apart of that union.  I knew my husband for 55 (since 2nd grade) and we were together for 35.  Long…"
17 hours ago
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Morgan, Monday will be a very tough day for both of us. It's one year for me which seems like one long day, and six for you, which scares the hell out of me thinking about how long do I have to be here before I go to her. It seems like one long…"
yesterday
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Lets be honest. Death sucks. As I read the posts on here and I see how we struggle when we lose someone to death it boggles the mind how any of us keep moving. I keep saying to myself there is something I can do to make myself feel better and it…"
yesterday
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Morgan, as usual, I have to read your post over three times because that is almost the exact way I feel. I woke up back in hell today. Yesterday, I was feeling some comfort and how fleeting that came and went. I had a disturbing thought this morning…"
Jan 13
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Joe, I did have a sign from Husband right after his death and to this day it was the only one. I am so happy for you. Morgan, I just can't believe that every time you post it mirrors my exact thoughts, maybe our Husbands are both trying to keep…"
Jan 13
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Havent had enough energy to respond to the latest entries from Joe but find each one to be inspirational as well as challenging me to try and dig deeper to alleviate the pain of missing my husband. Not as easy as it sounds. I too have struggled…"
Jan 12
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I took that pic about 10 days ago."
Jan 12
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Here's a pic of her side of the grave.  I will be buried on top of her so she's down deep.  All last spring and summer, grass just wouldn't take on her side.  The workers couldn't understand why.  They then…"
Jan 12
Nancy commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Love this Joe!"
Jan 12
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Email I sent to my children last night after I saw a sign from my Love: At about 8:40 tonight, something strange happened. As you all know, I switched rooms so only have the kitchen and a small lamp lit in the room I use. I went to the bathroom and…"
Jan 12

Profile Information

About Me:
Grew up in crime, met my Creator who changed my life and gave me a perfect Queen and children
About my Loss:
My perfect wife lost her life giving life. Her uterus ruptured at 20 weeks and she passed away...

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Comment Wall (12 comments)

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At 2:26pm on August 19, 2017, Maxey said…
I think John has said everything I am feeling each day. I sometimes think during the day of how many of us are out there suffering through this pain. It has been almost two years for me, so, I guess, after three there is still no relief or hope in sight. I feel nothing, and for those who tell you are now free to do things; they are crazy. Why would I want to be free of my love who made all the things we did worthwhile, meaningful, and happy?
Everyone who had a love will someday lose them; it is inevitable. They will then, and only then, understand our thoughts and pain.
I do not wish it on anyone.
At 9:24pm on April 3, 2017, Jon-Paul Ackerman said…
The darkness has completely overtaken the love
At 3:07pm on August 18, 2016, Mel Royer said…

Elynn, I can relate to your situation as it parallels mine perfectly. First, I am sorry for our loss. I am aware there are no words that can take away the sting, the inconsolable pain of your loss. I lost my Nancy, April 29th of last year and am still and will for a long time be facing the hell of loneliness, the emptiness and the never ending longing for that person who defined you and was always there for you, your soul mate and best friend. That was Nancy.   Now, I too cannot drive and have a limited social network, again, apart from this grief site. I live exclusively on social security and can barely make that last, but I do. I wake up broken and go to sleep broken, spending the day lost and wandering through my empty house, more like a tomb than a home. We are all so vulnerable to to the world we must live in and on that day I do not wake up, I hope to wake up in the arms of my true love, my beautiful Nancy. I pray the same for you and everyone who must endure this cold empty life. May God watch over you and bless you and take care of yourself...Mel 

At 3:43pm on August 9, 2016, Elynn m said…

Anyone else  feeling lonely and depresxed?   I have trouble getting out if the house because I do not drive.   My husband used to go everywhere with me.   It's really lonely and depressing having to stay in the house all day (luckily my son is here daily).  Too hot to go outside (here in the desert ). Wish I had something to look forward to.

At 2:40am on June 16, 2016, Mary said…
Jon-Paul
My heart goes out to you. Your last comment is worrisome. I don't know what to say to help you other than pls find strength from the love of your lovely wife to keep going. Take care of yourself. Praying for comfort and peace for you and all others including myself.
At 9:39pm on June 9, 2016, Jon-Paul Ackerman said…
Hello all. I have been relentlessly seeking. Sorry to be away so long but I am very unhealthy and don't want to spread it. There is hope for you if you truly want it. I however do not. I find peace in the agony that grows deeper each day. With much understanding comes great suffering.
At 10:30pm on January 30, 2016, rachel_micele said…

Just want to say Jon-Paul I appreciate your recent posts. "I rendezvous with my Queen daily. I've never felt closer to Her". I found that absolutely beautiful. That is what I am aiming for with my love. It seems the only option to survive this nightmare. To "seek ruthlessly" - if you ever care to share what has been your journey I would be interested to hear.

At 10:56pm on January 29, 2016, Alice Thompson said…
Dear Jon-Paul, I just noticed your comments to others, and wanted to say thank you for creating the group Lost My Spouse. My partner died a year ago, and your group has helped me so much. There are wonderful people there, so honest in their deep suffering. Your words today have comforted me too, hearing how you are still learning more about your love, how she is with you. I feel this too, but it is hard to hold on to in my grief sometimes. So thank you for your faith. I wish you good things, Alice
At 7:27pm on January 13, 2016, Hilary Christene said…
You have been missed here
At 3:00pm on December 25, 2015, Hilary Christene said…

Sending you Christmas blessings Jon-Paul.

I imagine you are finding a way with your children, into your future. I hope for you.

This place you created here has a special healing quality to it. I know we all appreciate you, and when we see the name Jon-Paul Ackerman, we feel comforted.

 
 
 

Groups

Latest Activity

morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"This website is like a secret world we inhabit where the platitudes and scorn for not fitting in are understood as hogwash.  We know better than anyone on the outside of our grief how this has affected us.  I am so tired of being labeled…"
46 minutes ago
Nancy commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Lovely pictures everyone.   Thank you for sharing.   I am in the same boat.  I just exist.   "
2 hours ago
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I,m grateful that I found this site.  It's sort of like besides my family, you all are the only friends I have left.  I do have a couple that are long distance, but don't get to see them very often.  All my so called local…"
3 hours ago
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Here's one of our permanent bed with names blocked out."
3 hours ago
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Linda, We went on that same excursion off a cruise in 2003.  Here is a pic that was taken on the ship when we renewed our vows at a ceremony performed by the Captain."
3 hours ago
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Morgan & Joe, Thanks for sharing your thoughts. You put into words the horror I go through everyday. Going on year 7 without my Husband Julian. He was my whole life and I want to be with him but I can't. If I didn't believe in God I…"
8 hours ago
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Joe, 49 years is a long time.  Long enough to embed yourself in each other and there is nothing that will soothe the tearing apart of that union.  I knew my husband for 55 (since 2nd grade) and we were together for 35.  Long…"
17 hours ago
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Morgan, Monday will be a very tough day for both of us. It's one year for me which seems like one long day, and six for you, which scares the hell out of me thinking about how long do I have to be here before I go to her. It seems like one long…"
yesterday
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Lets be honest. Death sucks. As I read the posts on here and I see how we struggle when we lose someone to death it boggles the mind how any of us keep moving. I keep saying to myself there is something I can do to make myself feel better and it…"
yesterday
Emma is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
yesterday
Kelly Lieberman posted a status
"Can't sleep. Typical, my daughter goes back to college in the morning and I am having a hard time with that."
yesterday
Kelly Lieberman posted photos
yesterday
mindy replied to mindy's discussion Feeling pretty well depressed
"I guess I'm doing ok I was in the middle of a family fued Christmas day night so I been keeping to myself I check out that site but don't have the money to pay for it I'm disabled"
yesterday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I agree with all of that. I didn't expect a reward. My mom was reward enough, but I am not the same person that I once was. And I thought that some kind of balance would occur. I can't explain that really. It's been defeating. As soon…"
Friday
M Adams commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"After my husband’s death, and now after losing my mother, I also found myself somehow imagining that, not so much that something good would happen, more that some kind of reward would come to me, something to balance off the pain and…"
Friday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Well, Brett, one day we all shall see, I have many many questions, but no one to answer them. My heart still aches everyday, I still cry, but no one understands why, they have no clue...."
Friday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"There's something that has been on my mind lately and this is the best place to mention it. As much as I feared and dreaded my mom's death, I sort of felt like something good would happen, maybe not right away, but eventually. Like Karma…"
Friday
Margaret Whitehouse commented on mary snell's group hi
"I know how you feel. I lost my mom Jan 6, 2019 and it is so raw and all I do is cry. I was in the room when she passed and had been all day. My regret is I wasn't holding her hand when she took her last breath. She had dementia and I saw her 3…"
Thursday
Margaret Whitehouse joined mary snell's group
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hi

hi I recantly lost my mom two weeks ago I'm still missing her and I wish that i could of said good bye to her before said passed away See More
Thursday
Brenda Ann replied to mindy's discussion Feeling pretty well depressed
"Mindy, I am not a doctor but I am a student of the Bible. It seems that you are suffering from anxiety over your past. Humans including ourselves seem to filter the good things we have done and focus on the "bad". But God is the opposite.…"
Wednesday

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