"Alice, I totally understand what you’re expressing and I feel the same way although my certainty waxes and wanes. Sometimes I feel so good because I know he’s right here with me and sometimes I can’t feel it and sink back down into…"
"I watched it too, and I cried, but they were good tears. I have been lucky enough in this life to be loved completely and that love continues. I love him more and more and I know it is the same for him. The physical phase is in the past and it will…"
"The royal wedding evoked similar feelings for me as John T. Joseph and I loved watching PBS shows, especially Masterpiece and Mystery, and we watched together the coverage of Princess Diana's tragic death and Prince William And Kate's…"
"It was when they sang "Stand By Me" that I turned it off. I never heard that song presented in that way and suddenly the words had profound meaning. Then I started thinking how much my wife would have loved watching the wedding…"
"I feel the very same Morgan. I had a love affair for 43 years. We have 3 children who are still devastated but would be completely paralyzed if I did something like you are talking about. I will bear this pain and remain alone for…"
"As much as I wish the new royal couple all the love they deserve, it breaks my own heart......I am now a broken shell of a woman who keeps pushing herself to reconstruct her life and who keeps asking herself how much is this worth. I…"
"Morgan. Thank you so much for thinking of me yesterday and your words that hit home so much for me and many on here. You are so right about barely able to breathe at one year. I told my daughter yesterday was just like every day for…"
"Nancy, I know that today (the 10th) is your one year mark and if yours was anything like mine it is a harrowing kind of day. One doesn't really know how to mark such a sad day.......One doesn't know what's ahead and we certainly…"
"Thank you Linda for your kind words! I do and have been seeing someone , a therapist. However, I seriously question my time with this person...grief has never come up! I will call it my fault though, I don't think you understand, while…"
I think John has said everything I am feeling each day. I sometimes think during the day of how many of us are out there suffering through this pain. It has been almost two years for me, so, I guess, after three there is still no relief or hope in sight. I feel nothing, and for those who tell you are now free to do things; they are crazy. Why would I want to be free of my love who made all the things we did worthwhile, meaningful, and happy?
Everyone who had a love will someday lose them; it is inevitable. They will then, and only then, understand our thoughts and pain.
I do not wish it on anyone.
Elynn, I can relate to your situation as it parallels mine perfectly. First, I am sorry for our loss. I am aware there are no words that can take away the sting, the inconsolable pain of your loss. I lost my Nancy, April 29th of last year and am still and will for a long time be facing the hell of loneliness, the emptiness and the never ending longing for that person who defined you and was always there for you, your soul mate and best friend. That was Nancy. Now, I too cannot drive and have a limited social network, again, apart from this grief site. I live exclusively on social security and can barely make that last, but I do. I wake up broken and go to sleep broken, spending the day lost and wandering through my empty house, more like a tomb than a home. We are all so vulnerable to to the world we must live in and on that day I do not wake up, I hope to wake up in the arms of my true love, my beautiful Nancy. I pray the same for you and everyone who must endure this cold empty life. May God watch over you and bless you and take care of yourself...Mel
Anyone else feeling lonely and depresxed? I have trouble getting out if the house because I do not drive. My husband used to go everywhere with me. It's really lonely and depressing having to stay in the house all day (luckily my son is here daily). Too hot to go outside (here in the desert ). Wish I had something to look forward to.
My heart goes out to you. Your last comment is worrisome. I don't know what to say to help you other than pls find strength from the love of your lovely wife to keep going. Take care of yourself. Praying for comfort and peace for you and all others including myself.
Hello all. I have been relentlessly seeking. Sorry to be away so long but I am very unhealthy and don't want to spread it. There is hope for you if you truly want it. I however do not. I find peace in the agony that grows deeper each day. With much understanding comes great suffering.
Just want to say Jon-Paul I appreciate your recent posts. "I rendezvous with my Queen daily. I've never felt closer to Her". I found that absolutely beautiful. That is what I am aiming for with my love. It seems the only option to survive this nightmare. To "seek ruthlessly" - if you ever care to share what has been your journey I would be interested to hear.
Dear Jon-Paul, I just noticed your comments to others, and wanted to say thank you for creating the group Lost My Spouse. My partner died a year ago, and your group has helped me so much. There are wonderful people there, so honest in their deep suffering. Your words today have comforted me too, hearing how you are still learning more about your love, how she is with you. I feel this too, but it is hard to hold on to in my grief sometimes. So thank you for your faith. I wish you good things, Alice
"I was thinking about this today. If I could have my mom back for just one month I would dote on her till the cows came home. The truth is my mom wouldn't have liked that. She didn't like to be doted on. At the end she was very appreciative…"
"Virginia, our stories are very similar. I was my mom's caretaker as well. I was diagnosed with PTSD after she died. When we have PTSD we can turn just about everything into a worst case scenario. It is so easy to look back and question…"
"And speaking of therapists, I have ptsd, and sometimes I feel like I don’t fully realize what happened. I sort of get numb at times and feel guilty about it. I asked my therapist if it means I don’t care about my Mom.…"
"Hi, just joined the group. Wanted to comment on Brett’s point about people getting tired of hearing about grief or not understanding it. I feel like I want to talk about my Mom constantly, whether it’s good times or bad.…"
I recently received news that my best friend passed away from heroin laced with fentanyl at age 31 on jan 10th. I was in shock and felt like i was in a bad dream. I hadn't heard from him in almost 6 months and figured he was out slamming dope because in the past he would tend to avoid me and my mother (who was like a 2nd mom to him) because he didn't want us seeing him strung out and didn't want to ruin our relationship of trust. May 15th, i arrive home from a job interview and check facebook…See More
I want to let you know that everything you are feeling is normal even though it seems so difficult compared to what we thought we had and what we knew. The death of our spouse is the most difficult thing we will ever face, bar none.…"
"Hi Monty, I lost my husband New Year’s Eve and have a 4 year old. It is extraordinarily hard to put on the happy face, be everything she needs, keep productive at my job, keep the house going and all the other needs of life covered. Bless you…"
Hi AllMy name is Monty and i have become single parent of two special needs boys when i lost my wife and life partner of 25 years, 5 days before Christmas.My wife had Myotonic Dystrophy and other the last 2 years she had really declined both in her ability to look after herself, our boys, happiness and quality of life.i tried all i could to try and encourage her to be the best she could given her condition. Unfortunately this was not enough to stave off a simple cold turning bad overnight and…See More
"Really sorry for your loss. How awful to lose a child. I guess some people are really uncomfortable with grief and just don't know what to say. I know exactly the loss you feel. I lost my mother in October. I saw her and talked to her…"