"Hello friends, thank you for sharing your feelings here, which continue to make me feel accompanied in my grief. I came back to this site having left a while ago, but I have still been reading. Nothing has changed for me, I still miss him, I still…"
"Thank you so much Joe for your kind response. I really appreciate it, and especially your inclusiveness of people of other religions. Yes, in the end, God, or Allah, or Jesus, or Yahweh is the ONE. Muslims, Christians, Catholics, and Jews all pray…"
"Thank you Trina for sharing. I too at times don't want to write also. Tomorrow will be exactly two and a half years since I lost my Love. Not as long as most here that still post but the suffering shared by us all is the same. All waking…"
"Thank you Elynn, Joe, Linda, and morgan for your posts and for being honest about your innermost thoughts and feelings. Sharing one's most intimate thoughts with others is not an easy thing, yet so many of us find ourselves coming here not only…"
"Wise words in response to Elynn, Joe. And Ellyn, I have the same routine and feelings. I scream along working to reestablish myself in a new location which has taken me the last three years out of the seven plus that he has been gone. Then I keep…"
"Thank you for posting Elynn. Yes, we want them back, and although we know that's impossible, it's like we can't take no for an answer, catch 22. Friends drift away, kids are busy with work and family. so an occasional…"
"Haven't been here in awhile. Thought I was keeping busy, but who am I trying to fool.? This year will be five years in September since Joe went to be with Jesus. I miss him so much. Don't know what to do…"
"I lost my husband 7 1/2 months ago and it seems like a lifetime ago. I understand and share the pain and loss that most of you feel and I wish I could be with my lost love, too. I know that I will join him again but in the meantime I know that I am…"
"It's all too hard. Today my husband would have turned 71. In a way I think that number has me thinking that I am able to say to myself "well, over 70 it's borrowed time". So I've lived the seven and half years to get this…"
You are right that very few people know how we really feel. Unless they had a wonderful marriage that we had with our spouses. Most people in life do not get to enjoy what we had with our spouses and it really makes it hard to find a group…"
I think John has said everything I am feeling each day. I sometimes think during the day of how many of us are out there suffering through this pain. It has been almost two years for me, so, I guess, after three there is still no relief or hope in sight. I feel nothing, and for those who tell you are now free to do things; they are crazy. Why would I want to be free of my love who made all the things we did worthwhile, meaningful, and happy?
Everyone who had a love will someday lose them; it is inevitable. They will then, and only then, understand our thoughts and pain.
I do not wish it on anyone.
Elynn, I can relate to your situation as it parallels mine perfectly. First, I am sorry for our loss. I am aware there are no words that can take away the sting, the inconsolable pain of your loss. I lost my Nancy, April 29th of last year and am still and will for a long time be facing the hell of loneliness, the emptiness and the never ending longing for that person who defined you and was always there for you, your soul mate and best friend. That was Nancy. Now, I too cannot drive and have a limited social network, again, apart from this grief site. I live exclusively on social security and can barely make that last, but I do. I wake up broken and go to sleep broken, spending the day lost and wandering through my empty house, more like a tomb than a home. We are all so vulnerable to to the world we must live in and on that day I do not wake up, I hope to wake up in the arms of my true love, my beautiful Nancy. I pray the same for you and everyone who must endure this cold empty life. May God watch over you and bless you and take care of yourself...Mel
Anyone else feeling lonely and depresxed? I have trouble getting out if the house because I do not drive. My husband used to go everywhere with me. It's really lonely and depressing having to stay in the house all day (luckily my son is here daily). Too hot to go outside (here in the desert ). Wish I had something to look forward to.
My heart goes out to you. Your last comment is worrisome. I don't know what to say to help you other than pls find strength from the love of your lovely wife to keep going. Take care of yourself. Praying for comfort and peace for you and all others including myself.
Hello all. I have been relentlessly seeking. Sorry to be away so long but I am very unhealthy and don't want to spread it. There is hope for you if you truly want it. I however do not. I find peace in the agony that grows deeper each day. With much understanding comes great suffering.
Just want to say Jon-Paul I appreciate your recent posts. "I rendezvous with my Queen daily. I've never felt closer to Her". I found that absolutely beautiful. That is what I am aiming for with my love. It seems the only option to survive this nightmare. To "seek ruthlessly" - if you ever care to share what has been your journey I would be interested to hear.
John-Paul- I want to thank you for creating this community. It's help me more then any counseling or medication or doctors could of ever have helped. This is one of the most difficult and painful times in anyones life. And to be able to communicate with other people who are experiencing the heartbreaking, life-changing, loss of a soulmate.... It's proving to be of sincere importance. So- thank you John-Paul.
"Today, I feel it.
It has been like this every Saturday since June, since the nurse at the care home called me to notify me that I could pick up my mother's effects. My mother died in April.
I am overwhelmed.
I am crushed.
I love you, Mom. I…"
"Sixteen weeks ago today, my mother died.
For some reason, I do not feel crushed today.
But every Friday is going to be like this, a reminder that she is dead. Not quite the kick in the stomach reminder that she is dead that I feel when I wake up…"
Carla is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
"Yes, it is much harder for me to concentrate or focus now. Grief, sadness, anger, despair -- they have all conspired to make it difficult for me to access my intelligence to the same degree as before my husband died. That is, my…"
"Bluebird, I am glad that you took that the right way. I had a feeling you would know what I meant. And your description is correct: I have a general idea of how you feel but it's impossible for me or anyone else to know…"
"I guess I can emphasize with the things you loved to do dying with the one you loved - as if that feeling has been pulled along, stretched thin to behind the veil. You don't have the energy to pursue them anymore, and just having something that…"
"Please don't apologize; I'm sorry I didn't respond to your last post in April, I'm not very good about keeping up with things anymore.
I don't feel that I'm moving forward at all, but I can see how that would work…"