Jon-Paul Ackerman
  • Male
  • Tavares, FL
  • United States
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  • Tildyc
  • Debbie-lee
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Latest Activity

Rhea joined Jon-Paul Ackerman's group
14 hours ago
John T. commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Mel and Michael, While I'm glad I'm not alone in this experience, I sincerely wish we didn't share such memories.  Thanks."
yesterday
Mel Royer commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"John....I also recall the moment when my wife passed as any sign of life disappeared from her eyes. I remember being numb and trying to close her eyes, they were half open...I remember thinking that wasn't right..her eyes should be fully closed…"
Thursday
Michael commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"John, I have a similar memory that keeps replaying in my mind. Every day, many times a day. I think we have PTSD."
Thursday
John T. commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Yesterday was awful.  I have no idea why but I kept having memories of my wife's last moments as I knelt beside her on the sidewalk and tried to perform CPR.  The image of the light fading from her eyes is overwhelming.  Thank…"
Tuesday
Krystle joined Jon-Paul Ackerman's group
Tuesday
Stacey White commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Thanks for the comments.  It is comforting that others understand what we are going through.  Our birthdays are so close, now I am trying to gather the strength for his first birthday no longer on this earth - March 5th.   Trying to…"
Monday
Denise commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Stacey, my birthday was on Thursday, the first without my husband who died 8 months ago. Although I have two adult children, I went through a period on Thursday when I too felt alone and missed George terribly. I hope there will come a birthday when…"
Feb 18
Michael commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I wish you could have a happy birthday. I hope one day you will again."
Feb 18
Stacey White commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Well, today is my birthday - the first one without my best friend and husband who passed about 3 months ago.  I have been pretty good until tonight and now starting to wallow in self pity missing him.  I try to be strong in front of our…"
Feb 18
John T. commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Last night my sister was talking to me about finally unpacking and fixing up the place where I live a little.  I just listened.  I don't want to unpack all the memories right now and there are two boxes marked "Christmas" I…"
Feb 18
Profile IconMichelle Lynch, Andrew Ritchie and 2 other members joined Jon-Paul Ackerman's group
Feb 16
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Anne, You said it perfectly."
Feb 15
AnneJ commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Linda's quote was omitted by this website's software, so I'll just type it out instead of cutnpaste: "Sometimes I wonder why we are even born, to watch watch all our friends and family die"."
Feb 14
AnneJ commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Linda said: No kidding. No kidding. It's unbelievable to me. My sweet man to whom I was attached to like DNA, well, he dies and after the 3 years of black grief and madness settles down, I look around me and I feel like one of those space…"
Feb 14
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"John, Yes it is I just pray the Lord won't make me suffer much longer and take me to all that I lost."
Feb 12

Profile Information

About Me:
Grew up in crime, met my Creator who changed my life and gave me a perfect Queen and children
About my Loss:
My perfect wife lost her life giving life. Her uterus ruptured at 20 weeks and she passed away...

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Comment Wall (10 comments)

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At 3:07pm on August 18, 2016, Mel Royer said…

Elynn, I can relate to your situation as it parallels mine perfectly. First, I am sorry for our loss. I am aware there are no words that can take away the sting, the inconsolable pain of your loss. I lost my Nancy, April 29th of last year and am still and will for a long time be facing the hell of loneliness, the emptiness and the never ending longing for that person who defined you and was always there for you, your soul mate and best friend. That was Nancy.   Now, I too cannot drive and have a limited social network, again, apart from this grief site. I live exclusively on social security and can barely make that last, but I do. I wake up broken and go to sleep broken, spending the day lost and wandering through my empty house, more like a tomb than a home. We are all so vulnerable to to the world we must live in and on that day I do not wake up, I hope to wake up in the arms of my true love, my beautiful Nancy. I pray the same for you and everyone who must endure this cold empty life. May God watch over you and bless you and take care of yourself...Mel 

At 3:43pm on August 9, 2016, Elynn m said…

Anyone else  feeling lonely and depresxed?   I have trouble getting out if the house because I do not drive.   My husband used to go everywhere with me.   It's really lonely and depressing having to stay in the house all day (luckily my son is here daily).  Too hot to go outside (here in the desert ). Wish I had something to look forward to.

At 2:40am on June 16, 2016, Mary said…
Jon-Paul
My heart goes out to you. Your last comment is worrisome. I don't know what to say to help you other than pls find strength from the love of your lovely wife to keep going. Take care of yourself. Praying for comfort and peace for you and all others including myself.
At 9:39pm on June 9, 2016, Jon-Paul Ackerman said…
Hello all. I have been relentlessly seeking. Sorry to be away so long but I am very unhealthy and don't want to spread it. There is hope for you if you truly want it. I however do not. I find peace in the agony that grows deeper each day. With much understanding comes great suffering.
At 10:30pm on January 30, 2016, rachel_michele said…

Just want to say Jon-Paul I appreciate your recent posts. "I rendezvous with my Queen daily. I've never felt closer to Her". I found that absolutely beautiful. That is what I am aiming for with my love. It seems the only option to survive this nightmare. To "seek ruthlessly" - if you ever care to share what has been your journey I would be interested to hear.

At 10:56pm on January 29, 2016, Alice Thompson said…
Dear Jon-Paul, I just noticed your comments to others, and wanted to say thank you for creating the group Lost My Spouse. My partner died a year ago, and your group has helped me so much. There are wonderful people there, so honest in their deep suffering. Your words today have comforted me too, hearing how you are still learning more about your love, how she is with you. I feel this too, but it is hard to hold on to in my grief sometimes. So thank you for your faith. I wish you good things, Alice
At 7:27pm on January 13, 2016, Hilary Christene said…
You have been missed here
At 3:00pm on December 25, 2015, Hilary Christene said…

Sending you Christmas blessings Jon-Paul.

I imagine you are finding a way with your children, into your future. I hope for you.

This place you created here has a special healing quality to it. I know we all appreciate you, and when we see the name Jon-Paul Ackerman, we feel comforted.

At 12:10am on April 2, 2015, Tildyc said…
John-Paul- I want to thank you for creating this community. It's help me more then any counseling or medication or doctors could of ever have helped. This is one of the most difficult and painful times in anyones life. And to be able to communicate with other people who are experiencing the heartbreaking, life-changing, loss of a soulmate.... It's proving to be of sincere importance. So- thank you John-Paul.
At 4:07pm on January 13, 2015, Sandy Hendrix said…

Oh Jon-Paul, I am so so very sorry to hear of your loss.  You are such a beautiful couple.  Hugs and prayers to you. I lost my son, and I also am so empty inside.  It's a very sad and lonely place, but you will find friends on here that are so helpful x0

 
 
 

Latest Activity

Shari Blough shared a profile on Facebook
44 minutes ago
kim posted a blog post

my baby

 shawn I miss you so bad, I cry all the time, my depression is worse, god how I pray every night to die, to hold you again.   I love you always and forever   momSee More
1 hour ago
Louise posted a blog post

The "How Are You?" Question

One of my friends (who hasn't contacted me for weeks) sent me a cutesy picture of a cat and a message which asked "how are you?". Cat picture aside, I am tired of this question, particularly when I feel the person asking it just wants to hear I am feeling better. As if that is possible for me five months after my husband's suicide. After I lost the love of my life, my joy and my happiness.I don't know how to answer the how are you question anymore, but I will be damned if I'm going to put on a…See More
1 hour ago
Teresa D. commented on Karen's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Debbie I am so sorry for the lost of your Mom.  Just know she was just as important to us as we were to her. Rita I don't have advise.  My mother shut down in 2008 when my dad passed away, til this day she has not been able to offer…"
1 hour ago
Rhea updated their profile
5 hours ago
Rhea joined Jon-Paul Ackerman's group
14 hours ago
BLUEBELL replied to berlin auger's discussion what do I do?
"Berlin I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my Mom on Valentines day 2017. I too dream about her, and when I wake up, it really hurts that she is not here. I had a different relationship with my Mom than you did. I was her caregiver and her…"
14 hours ago
Richard Rivera replied to Richard Rivera's discussion MY BELOVED WIFE DIED DECEMBER 2ND in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Well said thank you for the advice. But guilt is the hardest thing to let go. I can't seem to shake it. I still think over and over I could've done more, should've done more. right now I'm actually going to hopefully get help…"
16 hours ago
Profile IconRhea, Becky, Qasim and 17 more joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
16 hours ago
Nancy Dynes commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry, Olive! I hate that you're having to get through this day alone. You should absolutely talk about your dad. You're a whole person, not split in half with two separate losses. I wish we could sit and share a…"
16 hours ago
morgan replied to Richard Rivera's discussion MY BELOVED WIFE DIED DECEMBER 2ND in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Richard, I understand your feelings.  If only we could have had more time with our loved ones.   If only something had been different.  It doesn't seem to matter if they died in front of us or in a horrible accident.  Bottom…"
17 hours ago
Olive commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi Nancy,  I wish we could go out to eat tonight in honor of my mom, but my husband works nights and my dear dad passed on February 4 (I didn't know if I should mention that in here because the group is about moms).  Your experience…"
17 hours ago
Nancy Dynes commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi, Olive. I am certain she feels your love! I am always praying and asking The Lord to tell my mom how much I love and miss her, and even to give her a hug and kiss from me. You can be sure he will pass everything on to your sweet mother. On my…"
18 hours ago
BLUEBELL left a comment for PC Schmidt
"I am sorry for the loss of your Mom. Mine passed away on Valentines Day. I too was her caregiver. I wish we we not here grieving for our loved one. But we are. Let us support one another. Bluebell"
19 hours ago
BLUEBELL replied to BLUEBELL's discussion Lost my Mom
"Dennis, First of all, I want to thank you for replying to my comments. I appreciate you sharing your experiences and how they parallel with mine. It does help me sort through what all I am grieving. As the caregiver, a daughter, a sister and a…"
19 hours ago
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Nancy, I am okay right now which I am grateful for. Olive, My thoughts are with you on this difficult day. Theresa, Talking does help and I thank you for your support. I am feeling my way through it minute by minute, hour by hour and day by…"
20 hours ago
Maxey commented on Elizabeth skelsey's blog post 4 Years and i still cry.
"I wish I could say it gets better, Elizabeth. You have gone through four years, and I have only gone through 16 months, so I can only think that my life will never hold any joy or happiness again. No, it is not health, but how can we make our…"
21 hours ago
Maxey commented on Maxey's blog post Reason for Living
"Thanks for sharing, Bluebird. The poem, unfortunately, says it all! My life has no meaning. I did think love would last forever, and I never even contemplated a life without my husband. I many times think that the end of my life should not be so…"
21 hours ago
Richard Rivera replied to Richard Rivera's discussion MY BELOVED WIFE DIED DECEMBER 2ND in the group Lost My Spouse...
"I can't help but think the same thing, that it's no coincidence. my only problem is that I'm still separated from Annette and it's just killing me inside. I still scream at night. The nightmares just keep coming and it's…"
22 hours ago
Olive commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi Nancy, Theresa, and Bluebell, Please know you are all in my prayers.  Today would have been my sweet mom's 75th birthday, so it is a very hard day.  I know she is rejoicing in heaven, but I can't help but be selfish and wish…"
23 hours ago

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