Jon-Paul Ackerman
  • Male
  • Tavares, FL
  • United States
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Latest Activity

bluebird commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Kim, Yes, grief is unbelievably exhausting. I am simultaneously always tired, and unable to sleep without pills.  When I have stuff I have to do, like doing the laundry or grocery shopping, it takes me hours to work up to doing it. I can manage…"
6 hours ago
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Melissa, I remember the early days.  I remember wondering about bills and what was I going to do and how was I going to do it because all I wanted to do was lay in the fetal position on my bed and cry and yet I had to go to work and on and on…"
6 hours ago
KIM Montgomery commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Can some please tell me, is grief truly exhausting.  It seems like I can barely stay awake when I get home.  I get up at 4:45 in the morning and at work by 5:45.  I usually leave around 2:45, hoping to have some energy to do things at…"
8 hours ago
Ericka joined Jon-Paul Ackerman's group
13 hours ago
Ronnie Luethy joined Jon-Paul Ackerman's group
Monday
Melissa Malone commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"6 weeks ago I found my husband dead. We had a wonderful day Saturday celebrating our granddaughters birthday. I was supposed to go first. I just had 2 hospital stays in ICU on a ventilator. He loved me convincingly And spoiled me rotten. I've…"
Jun 15
rachel_micele commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Alice - I guess for me the reason I cry is pretty simple. I'm so damn sad, hurt, and I miss him so fucking much. In a public place i may hold back but otherwise i don't for a moment. I let the tears fall all the way down my checks. I…"
Jun 14
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Morgan, My thoughts are exactly like yours, each day is miserable without My Husband. My life is worth nothing without him."
Jun 14
Melissa Malone joined Jon-Paul Ackerman's group
Jun 13
Trina Mamoon commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Dear morgan, I am so sorry that the days and years are not getting any easier and that you find yourself in the same spot as four years ago. I agree with Alice that no matter how many bucketful of tears we shed, how much we scream or how fervently…"
Jun 13
Alice Thompson commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"It is unbearable, and yet we have to bear it. Some days, like today, I find myself on the verge of tears again and again, but most times holding back, because... what's the point? Nobody hears my crying, no one wants to, and it makes no…"
Jun 13
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I don't know how much longer the universe has planned for me to live on this roller coaster of grief but I can tell you I am damn sick and tired of it.   After four years I have torrents of debilitating grief and then I can function for…"
Jun 13
John T. commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"KIM, it's 2 years and 6 months or so since I lost my wife and in the last couple of weeks I've been finally tearing open boxes and trying to put things away where I live now.  It's taken all that time to even begin to look at the…"
Jun 11
KIM Montgomery commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Tomorrow I go back to work full time in the office.  I have been trying to work at home full time.  I am finding that by the end of the day at home I am so exhausted. Do others find the same issue that even though we are focused on…"
Jun 11
Natasha joined Jon-Paul Ackerman's group
Jun 7
Mary commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Kim and Elvynn, your hubbies sound like my wonderful husband. He had the special way with people and doing things. I've missed him every moment of every day since April 26, 2016. The outside yard he'd do such a good job. This year…"
Jun 5

Profile Information

About Me:
Grew up in crime, met my Creator who changed my life and gave me a perfect Queen and children
About my Loss:
My perfect wife lost her life giving life. Her uterus ruptured at 20 weeks and she passed away...

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Comment Wall (11 comments)

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At 9:24pm on April 3, 2017, Jon-Paul Ackerman said…
The darkness has completely overtaken the love
At 3:07pm on August 18, 2016, Mel Royer said…

Elynn, I can relate to your situation as it parallels mine perfectly. First, I am sorry for our loss. I am aware there are no words that can take away the sting, the inconsolable pain of your loss. I lost my Nancy, April 29th of last year and am still and will for a long time be facing the hell of loneliness, the emptiness and the never ending longing for that person who defined you and was always there for you, your soul mate and best friend. That was Nancy.   Now, I too cannot drive and have a limited social network, again, apart from this grief site. I live exclusively on social security and can barely make that last, but I do. I wake up broken and go to sleep broken, spending the day lost and wandering through my empty house, more like a tomb than a home. We are all so vulnerable to to the world we must live in and on that day I do not wake up, I hope to wake up in the arms of my true love, my beautiful Nancy. I pray the same for you and everyone who must endure this cold empty life. May God watch over you and bless you and take care of yourself...Mel 

At 3:43pm on August 9, 2016, Elynn m said…

Anyone else  feeling lonely and depresxed?   I have trouble getting out if the house because I do not drive.   My husband used to go everywhere with me.   It's really lonely and depressing having to stay in the house all day (luckily my son is here daily).  Too hot to go outside (here in the desert ). Wish I had something to look forward to.

At 2:40am on June 16, 2016, Mary said…
Jon-Paul
My heart goes out to you. Your last comment is worrisome. I don't know what to say to help you other than pls find strength from the love of your lovely wife to keep going. Take care of yourself. Praying for comfort and peace for you and all others including myself.
At 9:39pm on June 9, 2016, Jon-Paul Ackerman said…
Hello all. I have been relentlessly seeking. Sorry to be away so long but I am very unhealthy and don't want to spread it. There is hope for you if you truly want it. I however do not. I find peace in the agony that grows deeper each day. With much understanding comes great suffering.
At 10:30pm on January 30, 2016, rachel_micele said…

Just want to say Jon-Paul I appreciate your recent posts. "I rendezvous with my Queen daily. I've never felt closer to Her". I found that absolutely beautiful. That is what I am aiming for with my love. It seems the only option to survive this nightmare. To "seek ruthlessly" - if you ever care to share what has been your journey I would be interested to hear.

At 10:56pm on January 29, 2016, Alice Thompson said…
Dear Jon-Paul, I just noticed your comments to others, and wanted to say thank you for creating the group Lost My Spouse. My partner died a year ago, and your group has helped me so much. There are wonderful people there, so honest in their deep suffering. Your words today have comforted me too, hearing how you are still learning more about your love, how she is with you. I feel this too, but it is hard to hold on to in my grief sometimes. So thank you for your faith. I wish you good things, Alice
At 7:27pm on January 13, 2016, Hilary Christene said…
You have been missed here
At 3:00pm on December 25, 2015, Hilary Christene said…

Sending you Christmas blessings Jon-Paul.

I imagine you are finding a way with your children, into your future. I hope for you.

This place you created here has a special healing quality to it. I know we all appreciate you, and when we see the name Jon-Paul Ackerman, we feel comforted.

At 12:10am on April 2, 2015, Tildyc said…
John-Paul- I want to thank you for creating this community. It's help me more then any counseling or medication or doctors could of ever have helped. This is one of the most difficult and painful times in anyones life. And to be able to communicate with other people who are experiencing the heartbreaking, life-changing, loss of a soulmate.... It's proving to be of sincere importance. So- thank you John-Paul.
 
 
 

Latest Activity

bluebird commented on Constance May's blog post Just now joining to see what it's about.
"There are a lot of people on this site in the same or similar position; I hope that you will find some comfort here."
5 hours ago
bluebird replied to Darlene's discussion My grief has made me feel numb from the neck down, has anyone else felt this?
"I prefer not to feel anything, now. It's not healthy, I know, but it's my preference."
5 hours ago
bluebird commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Kim, Yes, grief is unbelievably exhausting. I am simultaneously always tired, and unable to sleep without pills.  When I have stuff I have to do, like doing the laundry or grocery shopping, it takes me hours to work up to doing it. I can manage…"
6 hours ago
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Melissa, I remember the early days.  I remember wondering about bills and what was I going to do and how was I going to do it because all I wanted to do was lay in the fetal position on my bed and cry and yet I had to go to work and on and on…"
6 hours ago
Joy joined Niecy's group
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Compounded grief with existing anxiety and depression.

During the tragic loss of a loved one or having gone through several tragedies , be it death of a loved one, divorce , personal health issues, or getting older , ect. Sometimes the stress and depression compounded by grief can be debilitating and it may have us feel as if we are mourning our own deaths while we are grieving the loss of our loved ones , We feel as if our own lives are over , Being in this mode can make recovery a longer more confusing process for some. It can be uncomfortable to…See More
6 hours ago
KIM Montgomery commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Can some please tell me, is grief truly exhausting.  It seems like I can barely stay awake when I get home.  I get up at 4:45 in the morning and at work by 5:45.  I usually leave around 2:45, hoping to have some energy to do things at…"
8 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"i just past the one and a half year mark and my mom's birthday would be next week she would've been 94 I've been having a bad week I guess that happens I just miss her so much I feel so all alone."
9 hours ago
Ericka replied to Jules's discussion Lost without my husband in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Jules I understand some of what you're going through.  Yesterday would have been our 14th wedding anniversary. Instead, it was a day of pure misery.  It's only been six weeks since my 47-year-old husband passed away from…"
13 hours ago
Ericka joined Jon-Paul Ackerman's group
13 hours ago
morgan left a comment for Julianna Jenkins
"Its a long time to have your brain wired to someone else's.  I find I am still struggling pretty much daily, sometimes moe severe than others.  Right now I am going through having to pack up and move from one place I lived to another…"
14 hours ago
morgan left a comment for Jennifer Shepard
"Jenifer. I lost my love to stage IV caner and we had 27 days from diagnosis to death.  He was 63 and in 2 days would have been his 68th birthday.  No kids and one cat who belonged to him and stayed with me afterwards until she too died.…"
14 hours ago
morgan left a comment for Adria Manary
"Adria, I lost my husband over four years ago and I am not inspired.  I am just going through the necessary motions.  People want me to feel or they encourage me that I hopefully will find something that will bring back my spark.  Its…"
14 hours ago
morgan left a comment for Larry Piersa
"Be there.  Let her call and cry to you.  Dont offer advice.  Tell her how sorry you are this is happening to her but you will be there for her whenever or for whatever she wants or needs and do that.  Let her exhaust her…"
14 hours ago
Belle Merc replied to Janet Shores Hoogendyk's discussion Murder, Suicide, And living in fear in the group Multiple Losses Group
"June 23/17 - Dear heart, I cannot imagine the pain you are in with all that loss and horror.  I hope I can communicate with you in the future, I am also grieving many losses.  I am an Ordained Minister and I believe in the power of prayer…"
14 hours ago
Belle Merc joined Julie Dolsey-Weiss's group
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Multiple Losses Group

I am creating this site for the many of us who have suffered several losses. I lost my mom, dad, grandma(2nd mom), grandpa, my beloved dog and divorce.Many of us have lost more than one person or event.Come share!See More
14 hours ago
Belle Merc updated their profile
14 hours ago
Joy replied to Joy's discussion Missing mama every day! in the group Adult Daughters grieving the death of her Mother
"Thanks for the kind words Dennis. My belief in God and life after this one ends is what keeps me going."
15 hours ago
Dennis C. replied to Joy's discussion Missing mama every day! in the group Adult Daughters grieving the death of her Mother
"Joy I am very sorry for your loss. I believe that one day we will be reunited with our loved ones. Until then I rely on that belief to keep me looking forward and hopeful. This certainly doesn't take our pain away, but it does keep us focused…"
15 hours ago
Profile IconDennis C. and Joy joined Tonya's group
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Adult Daughters grieving the death of her Mother

This group is for adult daughters trying to cope with losing her Mother
15 hours ago
Joy commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"It's been a month since I buried mama. The world seems surreal to me now that she's gone. I love her so much. I refuse to use the past tense because to me love never dies. I know grief is a process, but one I'd rather not have to…"
15 hours ago

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