• Female

Mary's Friends

  • Amanda

Mary's Groups

Gifts Received


Mary has not received any gifts yet

Give a Gift


Mary's Page

Latest Activity

Mary commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Halloween used to be one of my favourite times of year. My husband and I would decorate outside - spooky and fun - all the kids loved it. Now the second Halloween without my Neil. The kids and I didn't have the motivation to do it without him.…"
Nov 2, 2017

Profile Information

About Me:
Met my soul mate in grade 12. Been together 35 years and married for almost 29 before my soul mate passed away suddenly and unexpectedly. We have 3 children.
About my Loss:
Lost the love of my life on April 26, 2016. We were each other's Rock, confidant, true love. I am lost in this world. I'm trying to be strong for my kids who loved their awesome dad. He is a great and loving husband, wonderful dad, loving son and brother. He was full of life and love and touched everyone he met.

Mary's Blog


I was hoping to find others who have lost a spouse so i could talk about the loss of my husband. What I have learned is that only those who have lost a spouse knows how I feel. Before I could only imagine how it would feel. Now I know the deep pain, the overwhelming feel of broken and alone. I truly miss my Neil every moment of the day. It's been 5 weeks and it gets harder each day.

Posted on June 3, 2016 at 1:59am — 13 Comments

Comment Wall (3 comments)

You need to be a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community to add comments!

Join Online Grief Support - A Social Community

At 1:08am on February 22, 2017, morgan said…

Mary, You have perfectly expressed the suffering of all of us who come here and are trying to manage.  How do we have any hope or get through a day?  No one has an answer.  We all just take baby steps towards what a day might hold.  Some days we get through them a bit less destroyed than others.  The hope is that if you get through one day maybe you wont wake up for another.  That's the hope.  So far I haven't found the key for that door.  Its lonely and dark, you're right,  I wont lie.  And the thought of waking up every day is what keeps me from going to sleep at night.  Maybe I think the if I stay up late enough I wont wake up again because I'll need to sleep forever.  That door hasn't worked either.  

After four years and one month I am not quite as desperate.  I don't break down everywhere like I used to.  I am better able to take showers, brush teeth, dress and do what used to be second nature.  Now I have to think it all through.  It is "better" as far as functioning which can help quell a bit of the grief but like many in here I am going to be one of the ones that will never get over my husbands death.  I am existing the best I can, doing the best I can and I don't ask too much of myself.  Thats it.  Thats how I get through a day.      

It isn't much but thats what I was left.  My husband was my sacred place I went to for everything.  Now that everything is gone and I can only hope I will be reunited with him in a different space, in a different time.  And I hope that for everyone else here........

At 1:54pm on February 21, 2017, MARY A BLANDFORD said…

How do you all that have experienced the worst pain manage to have any hope for tomorrow or get through the day?  It is so incredibly lonely and dark.  I hate the thought of going to bed and waking to another day of the same thing. 

At 1:51am on July 23, 2016, Marta said…
Mary. Thank you for the message.
I'm also sorry for your loss.

Latest Activity

Sheila Ferguson joined Katherine Ellis's group

Losing Someone to Cancer

This is for anyone who has lost somone to cancer. I lost my adopted Mom to breast cancer some years ago. She was everything I could have asked for. She loved me because I was just me. She also loved my family and children as if they were her own.See More
12 minutes ago
Sheila Ferguson commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I lost my husband in February 2018 and I am finding it unbearable without him.  How are we supposed to carry on like this?  It is terrible."
18 minutes ago
Sheila Ferguson joined Jon-Paul Ackerman's group
21 minutes ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I realize more and more each day that my mom was the center-piece of my life. The one constant I always had in my life was my mom. All was right with the world as long as I had my mom. Of course I had bad days, but I still had my mom. And now I…"
4 hours ago
Jessica Laird commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I am having such a hard time at work .Tuesday i had to leave mid day and today i broke down crying again at work and had to leave early. I want the anxiety and tears to go away"
5 hours ago
L.O commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Been to hospital again tonight for my chest, they run all the test and still cant find anything wrong. Gave me two paracetamol and sent me home. Sat here alone in pain not just from my chest but pain from missing him. Its been almost 6 months and…"
5 hours ago
Billy Jo Colt commented on joseph ty's blog post No normal days
"Hi Joseph, You have a lot of emotions to go through. Your Daughters body is gone but she lives on in your memory forever. A poor consellation I hear you say. It is and it's the only one we have. I treasure my memories and always will. Your loss…"
5 hours ago
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I knew it was time to let my Mom go. But I had no idea of the intensity of the emotional pain it would cause me until it happened Bluebell"
8 hours ago
Marjorie Willcox commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I feel the same way. "
13 hours ago
Emma Marie added a page to the group Funeral Service

Important things to take care of after the passing away of a loved one

The death of a loved one will drain you out emotionally and physically. With the passing away of a loved one, you will have to major responsibilities to take care of. You need to assure that everyone that had a part to play in the life of the loved…
15 hours ago
Emma Marie posted a group

Funeral Service

To serve people at their need– it's all we do. We strive to set the highest standards for the funeral profession in terms of client service and care for the deceased. We help people through one of the most difficult times in their lives with compassion, respect, openness and care.See More
15 hours ago
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Lost without him, Thank you, I only stay on this earth because I have no choice. I just pray for God to take me."
16 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett, I agree."
17 hours ago
joseph ty joined Karen's group

Missing my Son or Daughter

For all of us that are suffering the loss a son or daughter.
21 hours ago
joseph ty posted a blog post

No normal days

    8 days 7 hours and 25 minutes ago I held my daughter as they turned off the machines and she slipped away. It's kind of a blur after that. Organ donations, funeral arraignments, getting her stuff from her apartment, people calling and coming by. So many people saying "if you need anything, just call." But what can they do, really? So much sadness and anger. Through all of it, I keep getting flashes of her face and body as they brought her out of the apartment. I knew when I saw her, blue…See More
21 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Even If they do not understand what you are going through, I hope that they at least have some idea how blessed they are to still have  their moms. I don't know if that's possible though. I cherished my mom when she was alive,…"
23 hours ago
Lost with out him commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Love this Picture Linda! Yes you are still married forever and ever. I feel exactly the same way! Happy Anniversary ❤️❤️❤️"
Lost with out him commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"My friends you are the only people that understand. I too am broken, ir's been 13 months of HELL on earth. Going through the motions.. Wish I were dead truly. I have tried to " live" without him,but I can't. I also will be alone…"
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Crystal, you described it best "a horror movie"  I just can't get it out of my mind. God bless everyone, may we all find inner peace, here, talking about our moms. I can say it helps me alot to know you all know the feeling of…"
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Crystal, I agree with all that you wrote. My mom suffered. I'm glad that she is not sick anymore but that does not make me miss her any less. If that is selfish I will just have to live with it. We feel what we feel. I could lie and put on a…"

© 2018   Created by Jarvis.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service