Mary
  • Female
Share on Facebook
Share

Mary's Friends

  • Amanda

Mary's Groups

Gifts Received

Gift

Mary has not received any gifts yet

Give a Gift

 

Mary's Page

Latest Activity

Mary commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Kim and Elvynn, your hubbies sound like my wonderful husband. He had the special way with people and doing things. I've missed him every moment of every day since April 26, 2016. The outside yard he'd do such a good job. This year…"
Jun 5
Mary left a comment for Deanna
"❤❤ hugs to you"
Jun 3
Mary commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"My thoughts and prayers to you Jackie. I understand what you are saying. It's hard to live each day without that important person sharing our day with us. I understand the fear too of forgetting, that's the worst. Life is with my husband,…"
Apr 11
Mary commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I agree with all of you. My thoughts are the same. We just get through the days. Everything has lost color... The world keeps going but I feel like I'm forgotten in it. I miss my husband every moment of every day. It will be one year April 26 -…"
Apr 8
Mary commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Beautiful photos Trina. Hugs to you ❤"
Mar 15
Mary left a comment for MARY A BLANDFORD
"Hi Mary. I'm not sure how this reply thing works. But I just wanted to say that I don't have any answers. I totally understand the deep ache you feel for your husband. It is hard to do life each day. Hard to start the day without that one…"
Feb 27
morgan left a comment for Mary
"Mary, You have perfectly expressed the suffering of all of us who come here and are trying to manage.  How do we have any hope or get through a day?  No one has an answer.  We all just take baby steps towards what a day might hold.…"
Feb 22
MARY A BLANDFORD left a comment for Mary
"How do you all that have experienced the worst pain manage to have any hope for tomorrow or get through the day?  It is so incredibly lonely and dark.  I hate the thought of going to bed and waking to another day of the same thing. "
Feb 21
Mary left a comment for MARY A BLANDFORD
"Sending you hugs and praying for comfort. I know how you feel and it is a difficult road. I too lost my high school sweetheart 9 months ago. He was 52. What you have described is also how I feel. The only reason I am still here is for my kids. But I…"
Feb 20
Mary commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Lisa. I also have panic attacks going into stores and certain places that my husband and I would go to. The grocery store is the hardest and Home Depot. I actually only go out when necessary. I've lived in my hometown all my life yet all…"
Jan 25
Mary commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Linda Alice and Morgan..my heart goes out to you. I feel the same. Thank you for sharing this as I was beginning to feel like "I'm wallowing in my self-pity". But I'm not. I feel like you all do because my life partner, my best…"
Jan 21
Mary commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"My thoughts are with you Michael. It has been 8 months for me and I too find it hard each day. Am also still working on my husbands estate as he didn't have a signed will. We had ours prepared about a month before but hadn't got to the…"
Jan 9
Mary commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Michelle - my heart breaks for you. I'm so sorry you are a member here. My beautiful husband has been gone 8 months. He was only 52. I don't find it any easier. I find it harder each day. I cry every day and have breakdowns once or twice a…"
Jan 4
Mary left a comment for Holly
"My heart goes out to you. Losing a husband is unimaginable. I too lost my dear husband Neil, who was also 52. It's been almost 8 months. I understand how you feel. Every day is hard. Neil was the love of my life. Even tho I have family and…"
Dec 14, 2016
Mary left a comment for Teyo Green
"My heart goes out to you."
Nov 30, 2016
Mary commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Sending strength and peace and comfort to us all ❤️ I am finding it harder every day - the emptiness without the love of my life. 7 months today...it's not any easier. I don't believe it will be. The loss of your life partner is not…"
Nov 27, 2016

Profile Information

About Me:
Met my soul mate in grade 12. Been together 35 years and married for almost 29 before my soul mate passed away suddenly and unexpectedly. We have 3 children.
About my Loss:
Lost the love of my life on April 26, 2016. We were each other's Rock, confidant, true love. I am lost in this world. I'm trying to be strong for my kids who loved their awesome dad. He is a great and loving husband, wonderful dad, loving son and brother. He was full of life and love and touched everyone he met.

Mary's Blog

Heartbroken

I was hoping to find others who have lost a spouse so i could talk about the loss of my husband. What I have learned is that only those who have lost a spouse knows how I feel. Before I could only imagine how it would feel. Now I know the deep pain, the overwhelming feel of broken and alone. I truly miss my Neil every moment of the day. It's been 5 weeks and it gets harder each day.

Posted on June 3, 2016 at 1:59am — 13 Comments

Comment Wall (3 comments)

You need to be a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community to add comments!

Join Online Grief Support - A Social Community

At 1:08am on February 22, 2017, morgan said…

Mary, You have perfectly expressed the suffering of all of us who come here and are trying to manage.  How do we have any hope or get through a day?  No one has an answer.  We all just take baby steps towards what a day might hold.  Some days we get through them a bit less destroyed than others.  The hope is that if you get through one day maybe you wont wake up for another.  That's the hope.  So far I haven't found the key for that door.  Its lonely and dark, you're right,  I wont lie.  And the thought of waking up every day is what keeps me from going to sleep at night.  Maybe I think the if I stay up late enough I wont wake up again because I'll need to sleep forever.  That door hasn't worked either.  

After four years and one month I am not quite as desperate.  I don't break down everywhere like I used to.  I am better able to take showers, brush teeth, dress and do what used to be second nature.  Now I have to think it all through.  It is "better" as far as functioning which can help quell a bit of the grief but like many in here I am going to be one of the ones that will never get over my husbands death.  I am existing the best I can, doing the best I can and I don't ask too much of myself.  Thats it.  Thats how I get through a day.      

It isn't much but thats what I was left.  My husband was my sacred place I went to for everything.  Now that everything is gone and I can only hope I will be reunited with him in a different space, in a different time.  And I hope that for everyone else here........

At 1:54pm on February 21, 2017, MARY A BLANDFORD said…

How do you all that have experienced the worst pain manage to have any hope for tomorrow or get through the day?  It is so incredibly lonely and dark.  I hate the thought of going to bed and waking to another day of the same thing. 

At 1:51am on July 23, 2016, Marta said…
Mary. Thank you for the message.
I'm also sorry for your loss.
 
 
 

Latest Activity

KIM Montgomery left a comment for Nora
"Nora,  Our group is run through Kaiser and we meet every week.  It helps. I am actually thinking about individual counseling as well. Today was a really rough day.  I do know I have to come to work. Working from home I just want to…"
4 hours ago
Lost with out him replied to KIM Montgomery's discussion Missing my Best Friend in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Nora: I have been thinking about you and getting a job. How is that going? I think I remember you saying that you had to leave your job because they did not give you enough time off when your husband died? Of course I do not want to over step…"
4 hours ago
Nora replied to KIM Montgomery's discussion Missing my Best Friend in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Kim, How often do you have meetings? I found a group but they only meet eery 3 weeks. I am not sure yet. Thank you for sharing your daughter's experience. Steve's daughter was really grieving at the beginning but now she only…"
9 hours ago
KIM Montgomery replied to KIM Montgomery's discussion Missing my Best Friend in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Yes, that is exactly how I feel."
10 hours ago
KIM Montgomery replied to KIM Montgomery's discussion Missing my Best Friend in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Went to the 2nd session of support group.  Grief is grief and hurts no matter what the loss.  It hurts, you feel alone.  I have learned one thing from group is we are not alone. There are 2 different groups those that are…"
10 hours ago
Jean replied to Darlene's discussion My grief has made me feel numb from the neck down, has anyone else felt this?
"I had that feeling when my nephew called me and told me his brother had killed himself one year after my brother (their father) died. It was a weird sensation I have never felt before. From the top of my head all the way to my feet just a rush of ?…"
19 hours ago
Nora replied to KIM Montgomery's discussion Missing my Best Friend in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Kim, ladies, I just found some thought that actually explains how I feel now: Sounds familiar? Grieving and trying to be nice, crying and smiling to look nice next minute... It is a great movie anyway - watch when you can."
yesterday
Nora replied to KIM Montgomery's discussion Missing my Best Friend in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Thank you, Jackie. Those horrible panic attacks just visit us often. Suddenly the whole world is turning black and no oxygen anymore. Jackie, I accept you as acting Steve - I hope he does not mind - and I really appreciate your support - I know you…"
yesterday
AnneJ replied to KIM Montgomery's discussion Missing my Best Friend in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi, Kim. Please don't feel sorry about discussing different topics; it's how our minds work and your words are a comfort to so many. Just knowing someone feels the same, hurts the same, has the same inner voice... the empty bed, the…"
yesterday
KIM Montgomery replied to KIM Montgomery's discussion Missing my Best Friend in the group Lost My Spouse...
"I try not come on here in the early morning as I start work early so I can go home early.  That was my routine.  We would get up in the morning, have a cup of coffee and I would go off to work.  I looked forward to going home a little…"
Tuesday
Jackie cooke replied to KIM Montgomery's discussion Missing my Best Friend in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Nora, you are a beautiful women with a beautiful heart. Steve loved you very much but remember you were a success before you met him and not because of him. We need to give ourselves time to grieve it's only been 3 months, who knows if we will…"
Tuesday
Nora posted a status
"Hi, Pumpkin! 3 months without you today. Started looking for a job. I know you are proud of me now. But it is so hard without you. Love""
Tuesday
Nora replied to KIM Montgomery's discussion Missing my Best Friend in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Ladies, I just had one more pain caused by simple actions that I even did not pay attention to before. Well, I sat to start looking for a job. It was already hard as I have a "meeting people & leaving the house" anxiety. Also, it…"
Tuesday
Jennifer B posted a photo
Tuesday
Lost with out him replied to KIM Montgomery's discussion Missing my Best Friend in the group Lost My Spouse...
"I too feel exactly as everyone here has discribed it. Four months in.. Lost the love of my life. I feeling like the walking dead.. I function because I am expected to. I go to work because I haven't any choice. I have to sell my house.( for…"
Tuesday
Bethany posted a blog post

One down...

Having a glass of wine for my mom tonight and trying to wrap my head around the fact that she's been gone for a year. A whole year. A year without daily emails just so I'd wake up to an email every morning. A year without daily Skype chats just to catch up even though nothing much ever changed. A year without an e-card for every random holiday. A year without hearing about the dumb things my dad was or wasn't doing. A year without my best friend. A year without my mom.See More
Monday
gregory harvey posted a blog post

National TV show wants to help unsolved cold cases

I am the producer of a nationally televised crime docu-series. I am currently developing a new series focusing on unsolved cold cases, where the perpetrator is known but remains uncharged, many times because they are already in prison for life for another crime. That should not deter anyone else from getting justice. We will bring in outside, independent cold case detectives to rework cases to see if we can help. The series will underscore the hope, strength and tenacity of the families and…See More
Monday
morgan replied to KIM Montgomery's discussion Missing my Best Friend in the group Lost My Spouse...
"I really hate to reply to this thread as I am four years and almost five months into the loss of the love of my life and I can hardly stand the roller coaster I am on.  I am careening off the tracks "again" and I come here to reassure…"
Monday
KIM Montgomery replied to KIM Montgomery's discussion Missing my Best Friend in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Thank you all for the kind support here.  It does help.  I too feel lost at time.  This morning I was up at 3:30 watching TV; my alarm goes off at 4:45, no sense in trying to go back to sleep.  Like some one else said on here, my…"
Monday
Jackie cooke replied to KIM Montgomery's discussion Missing my Best Friend in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Kim, your not alone, as Nora's says every word you say matches how I feel. I have lost my best friend, soul mate, partner, my lover. Now I'm alone with my dog and cat. OVer 70 people and the funeral but none of them ring or call. People…"
Monday

© 2017   Created by Diana, Grief Counselor.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service