Linda Engberg
  • Female
  • Elkton, FL
  • United States
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Linda Engberg's Groups

Linda Engberg's Discussions

Has anyone on the site use alcoholic to cope with Grief.
10 Replies

I would like to know if I am the only one on this site who uses alcoholic to cope with spouse's death.Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by Linda Engberg Feb 23, 2018.

Christmas mean nothing to me.
3 Replies

This will be my 5th Christmas without my beloved husband Julian, the pain in my heart will never let me enjoy life again.Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by Linda Engberg Dec 23, 2017.

Holidays Again
1 Reply

Well, here goes year 5 without my Husband, I can't stand this time of year it means nothing to me.Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by bluebird Dec 2, 2017.

Holidays Again
4 Replies

It is that time of year again that we all wish we could sleep through. It has been 5 years without my Husband I was always told things get better with time. Each year that goes by it is worse. Just…Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by Linda Engberg Nov 22, 2017.

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Linda Engberg's Page

Latest Activity

Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
9 hours ago
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
Feb 12
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Morgan, I know how you feel. Day after day without my Husband, I wake up every morning and hate that I am still alive. If I was given real proof there is no afterlife, I would do away with myself. "
Feb 11
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Joe, I pray there is an afterlife. My Father always said when your dead your dead and he was one smart man. "
Feb 3
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Thanks Lisa & Michele for your comments. Beside the wonderful friends on the site, the only other person I can share what I feel is with my Wonderful and Caring Psychiatrist Dr. C. I have been seeing her once a month since my Husband died 7…"
Feb 1
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I CAN'T SEEM TO WRAP MY MINE AROUND THE FACT THAT I WILL NEVER SEE MY HUSBAND AGAIN! IT'S NOT LIKE I'M WAITING FOR HIM TO WALK THROUGH THE DOOR....I KNOW THAT HE'S GONE!. BUT TO NEVER SEE HIM AGAIN....IT JUST WON'T REGISTER."
Feb 1
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I CAN'T SEEM TO WRAP MY MIND AROUND THE FACT THAT I WILL NEVER SEE MY HUSBAND AGAIN! IT'S NOT LIKE I AM WAITING FOR HIM TO WALK THROUGH THE DOOR. I KNOW THAT HE'S GONE. BUT TO NEVER SEE HIM AGAIN....IT JUST WON'T REGISTER."
Feb 1
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"1 CAN'T SEEM TO WRAP MY MIND AROUND THE FACT THAT I WILL NEVER SEE MY HUSBAND AGAIN! IT'S NOT LIKE IT'S NOT LIKE I'M WAITING FOR HIM TO WALK THROUGH THE DOOR. I KNOW THAT HE'S GONE! BUT TO NEVER SEE HIM AGAIN....IT JUST…"
Feb 1
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Joe, I have seven tattoos one for each year Julian has been gone. It is my way of honoring him  People make fun of me saying I am too old (71) to have them. Glad to hear I am not the only one still honoring their spouse after death."
Jan 13
Serenity replied to Linda Engberg's discussion Ending my Life
"Wow..you suicide yourself there us no place for you in heaven. You will find yourself again and life will go on without your dearly departed. Learn to love yourself find what you like to do there has to something. Think of it like this he…"
Jan 12
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Joe, What a beautiful post. I have a tattoo on my shoulder of both our hands on our wedding day. I added my own words. God be with you."
Jan 12
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Just another year closer to death I pray."
Jan 6
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Take Care Joe."
Dec 28, 2019
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"OMG Morgan, The 7th year of grieving has me feeling exactly as you do. I relived his death this holiday season also. He didn't die in the short period of time your Husband did. He developed cancer in 2007 when we lived in Nevada. After removing…"
Dec 27, 2019
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I know most of us will not have a Merry Christmas but we will put on a smiley face for the sake of others. If it were not for my Sweet Babie J I wish I could fall asleep for Christmas Eve under after New Year's Day.  "
Dec 23, 2019
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Thanks Morgan. I wish for my own death also. I pray there is a Heaven so I can be with my Julian and all the that people that were close to me."
Dec 13, 2019

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About my Loss:
My Husband for 34 years.

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Comment Wall (10 comments)

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At 3:18pm on April 10, 2018, DeeDee said…

Thanks Linda for your kind words. God bless you xo 

Dee-Dee 

At 7:34am on January 28, 2018, Marjorie Willcox said…

Hello Linda I don't know if I've done the right thing buying a puppy she isn't house trained yet. I think you've got a dog. Does it help? I thought it would help the loneliness but in a way your more tied.I can't believe I have to live the rest of my life without my husband 

Marjorie

At 1:15am on January 27, 2018, morgan said…

Majorie,  Anywhere beyond about six months to two years depending on who you ask or what you read and still experiencing grief from the loss of your spouse is supposedly experiencing "complicated grief".  Like Linda and Bluebird and few of us who are still aging here on this site I too just passed the five year mark and yes, if thats what they want to call it, I too have complicated grief.  But I look at it in a different way.  

There are many things I could say but I'll be brief because its late here and I am tired.  You don't really get over it, you just endure it better.  Thats it.  Endurance.  Time will have sway with you and will change the ways you grieve but after five years I still have breakdowns regularly and I now know that they will never stop.  I don't pay a psychotherapist but I have one friend who I call my therapist.  MY husband actually asked him to watch over me if something happened to him as my husband was a diabetic and was getting sicker.  It was almost like he knew.  Our friend has kept that promise.  He lives 3000 miles away but we talk pretty much every day sometimes a couple times and he allows me to cry.  He knew my husband well and knew the love we had would never die and he understands I"ll never get over it.  I just turned 66 and I am ready to die.  I am not sure whether I will be able to do it to myself as the pain for the last couple months again has been like the first year but I can only take each day and lots of times just each hour at a time.  I've learned to expect nothing from myself as far as remembering the kind of person I was before.  That has all changed.  

So much else left when my husband did too.  So much of who I was because it was always in relationship to who WE were.  I would never change what I had with him but it is a good thing I didnt know what the pain would be like now.  He never would have been able to stand it and I am not sure how long I will but for now I still breathe.  Just know there are many many others out here that feel the same way just like there are many others who get over the loss and somehow make a different kind of life.  Me, I can't unhook.  I'm with him through and into death and yet still trying to live.  Its a bitch.  Not sure how or when my own time will come but I am more than ready.  
Take care the best you can.  Morgan

At 9:53am on January 26, 2018, Marjorie Willcox said…

Thankyou for your reply Linda. I wake up each morning and it's as though Paul's Death has just happened.  I will never feel right again

At 12:36pm on January 25, 2018, Marjorie Willcox said…

Linda Thankyou so much for replying re complicate grief. I feel just the same my husband and I were one person ( his words) and I know I will never get over losing him. I just wondered how a psychotherapist can help because it says online that it can and you say you feel better every year. Linda I just don't know how long we can go on with the pain.

At 2:28am on January 25, 2018, Marjorie Willcox said…

Linda how did you find a psychotherapist to help you with your complicate grief

? What do they do? in your reply to Maxy you said it will last till you die!

I am really struggling after losing my husband 17 months ago

Marjorie 

At 7:22am on January 24, 2018, Marjorie Willcox said…

Linda have you got complicated grief. Does it last forever. 

marjorie

At 11:08am on January 22, 2018, Marjorie Willcox said…

Linda am I right in thinking you have complicated grief ? I feel sure that I have too.

Marjorie

At 3:22pm on August 31, 2017, Joy said…

Linda, I didn't lose a spouse, but I wanted to say how sorry I am for the loss of your husband. You two were (let me correct that) are a very lovely couple and I know you'll be glad to see him again. My thoughts and prayers are with you. I see your posts periodically and my heart goes out to you.

At 4:04pm on July 28, 2017, Fran said…

Linda, so sorry about your dog! When I lost our cat it was like tearing my heart open again!Logically we know we will die, but when an innocent pet has to go thru suffering it seems even worse.

 
 
 

Groups

Latest Activity

morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Amen Linda.......Today for whatever reason was a particularly rough day.  I am exhausted from crying.   I just don't know how long I can keep pushing forward.  I am definitely in the hate mode......."
1 hour ago
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
9 hours ago
Martee replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Maybe open yourself up, try to ride that love and passion I see in you. You loved your husband so deeply, focus on that. Maybe we are still here because we need to evolve a bit more or do something that God wants us to do. looking back I feel you…"
yesterday
Martee replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Exactly If We are wrong we won’t know it, but we do know that we are energy (souls), basic physics says energy cannot be destroyed. Anything is better than existing here in this void!"
yesterday
Martee replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"If you focus on the light and the good, that’s is God! I have felt it, I don’t know anything about plans or why people get taken before others but I do know that wherever that next realm  is I’m ready to go I am not…"
yesterday
bluebird replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"That's great that you have no doubt about the existence of an afterlife. I doubt there's a god, but if there is one I'm not convinced it's a loving God, as it allowed my husband to die young(-ish) and one week after our wedding.…"
yesterday
Jeff C replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Morgan, Over the years I have thought that Bluebird gets it much more than almost everyone who has written about this - at least from my point of view. At the root of this, I think, it's the absence of their presence that hurts so much.  I…"
yesterday
Martee replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"bluebird I can’t help but hold out hope in reading all these entries from people that some of them made it to the next realm. That is the reason we don’t hear from some anymore, because they passed on with with their loved ones.  I…"
yesterday
bluebird replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Thank you, Joe. It does help a little bit."
yesterday
morgan replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Jeff,  Amazing isn't it?  I keep asking myself how it is I could still hurt so much from having my husband no longer with me on this earthly plane.  Not because I don't know it isn't possible but more, what is it that…"
yesterday
Joe Kelly replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Bluebird, I believe that every consciousness/spirit/soul is immortal.  I, or no one in our limited dimensional world can prove that right or wrong.  I can't prove my OBE either.  All I can do is share it.  Your original post…"
yesterday
bluebird replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Joe, Thank you. I hope with everything in my soul that you are right about that, and I wish I shared your faith in that regard. If you and I have already discussed this, I apologise for repeating myself (my memory is not what it once was, and my…"
Thursday
bluebird left a comment for Martee
"I saw both of your posts on my profile. If nothing else, maybe rock-climbing and the like will help to distract you for a little while. And you're right, it is absolutely not fair that our beloved partners have died. I know that my husband and…"
Thursday
M Adams replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Hope these rituals bring comfort to you, Martee.  I have kept the ashes of my husband as well, just don’t want to part with them.  It has been more than three years since his death — but I don’t feel like there is a…"
Thursday
Joe Kelly replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Reading your posts, and many who post here, I think you're going to be joyously surprised when you pass over. "The worst thing about all of this is not knowing if my sweet, wonderful husband's soul still exists, as it…"
Thursday
Martee left a comment for Marjorie Willcox
"So sorry for your loss and pain, my soulmate died 1/29/20, been so bad for me to. I don’t let people know too much, no way I want to be taken out of my house. I feel like some people just want to watch me crash and are more nosey than…"
Thursday
bluebird replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Joe, Thank you for your posts. Even though you don't have absolute proof of an afterlife, your out-of-body experience seems to have provided you with some level of surety, which I think is wonderful, and I must admit I'm jealous of you for…"
Wednesday
Joe Kelly replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Bluebird, It doesn't make it easier so to speak.  What will help is when I allow my doctor to do some imaging, in the weeks or perhaps a couple of months ahead, I'll let him scan me, and since now I know something is spreading…"
Wednesday
Josephine Crawford commented on Kar's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Thanks Ammy. I sometimes feel guilty when I am happy. Yes it takes time. Continued to all."
Wednesday
Martee replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"I kept my husband’s ashes, I keep them next to me all day, move them to his nightstand at night. Been 3 weeks..."
Wednesday

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