Linda Engberg
  • Female
  • Elkton, FL
  • United States
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  • Michael Thompson
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Linda Engberg's Groups

Linda Engberg's Discussions

Has anyone on the site use alcoholic to cope with Grief.
10 Replies

I would like to know if I am the only one on this site who uses alcoholic to cope with spouse's death.Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by Linda Engberg Feb 23.

Christmas mean nothing to me.
3 Replies

This will be my 5th Christmas without my beloved husband Julian, the pain in my heart will never let me enjoy life again.Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by Linda Engberg Dec 23, 2017.

Holidays Again
1 Reply

Well, here goes year 5 without my Husband, I can't stand this time of year it means nothing to me.Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by bluebird Dec 2, 2017.

Holidays Again
4 Replies

It is that time of year again that we all wish we could sleep through. It has been 5 years without my Husband I was always told things get better with time. Each year that goes by it is worse. Just…Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by Linda Engberg Nov 22, 2017.

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Linda Engberg's Page

Latest Activity

Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Morgan, As you always do in your posts, you take the words right out of my mouth.  Linda"
yesterday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Today is my beloved Husband's birthday. "
Jul 10
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Monty, Tomorrow is my Husbands birthday, every year I spent it at the St. Augustine Lighthouse where I have two pavers in his memory. "
Jul 9
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Beth, The best times of my life were with my Husband, we lived below our means while working, so we had money to enjoy our retirement and I will have to say it was great."
Jul 7
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Beth, My Husband's bday is July 10, I know we will both be with them again."
Jul 7
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Anne, I just love the last line of your post. Take Care"
Jul 7
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
Jul 6
Linda Engberg commented on Mike H.'s blog post Why Go On Living? - Reason 3 of 3, Because There is Hope
"What the Lord have Giveth, the Lord Taketh away."
Jul 3
Linda Engberg commented on Mike H.'s blog post Why Go On Living? - Reason 3 of 3, Because There is Hope
"What Lord had giveth, the Lord taketh away."
Jul 3
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Morgan, I feel that people who say you will find joy in your life again, never had a marriage like we had. Julian was my true soulmate. I know that anniversary dates are the worse, his birthday is July 10 so I prepare by having a few more beers than…"
Jul 3
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Morgan, I keep my sanity by running and working outside in the heat and humidity of Florida, hoping that I will just dehydrate and die."
Jul 3
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
Jun 30
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
Jun 30
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Geraldine, I can relate to your comment, it has been 5 years since I lost my Husband and it is true he is forgotten  by others because fir them live goes on except for us. Morgan, Once again your shared thoughts mirror mine. God Help Us All"
Jun 30
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Beth, The holidays and special events of our lives is the worse time. Keeping you in my prayers. Linda"
Jun 29
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
Jun 28

Profile Information

About my Loss:
My Husband for 34 years.

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Comment Wall (11 comments)

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At 3:18pm on April 10, 2018, DeeDee said…

Thanks Linda for your kind words. God bless you xo 

Dee-Dee 

At 7:34am on January 28, 2018, Marjorie Willcox said…

Hello Linda I don't know if I've done the right thing buying a puppy she isn't house trained yet. I think you've got a dog. Does it help? I thought it would help the loneliness but in a way your more tied.I can't believe I have to live the rest of my life without my husband 

Marjorie

At 1:15am on January 27, 2018, morgan said…

Majorie,  Anywhere beyond about six months to two years depending on who you ask or what you read and still experiencing grief from the loss of your spouse is supposedly experiencing "complicated grief".  Like Linda and Bluebird and few of us who are still aging here on this site I too just passed the five year mark and yes, if thats what they want to call it, I too have complicated grief.  But I look at it in a different way.  

There are many things I could say but I'll be brief because its late here and I am tired.  You don't really get over it, you just endure it better.  Thats it.  Endurance.  Time will have sway with you and will change the ways you grieve but after five years I still have breakdowns regularly and I now know that they will never stop.  I don't pay a psychotherapist but I have one friend who I call my therapist.  MY husband actually asked him to watch over me if something happened to him as my husband was a diabetic and was getting sicker.  It was almost like he knew.  Our friend has kept that promise.  He lives 3000 miles away but we talk pretty much every day sometimes a couple times and he allows me to cry.  He knew my husband well and knew the love we had would never die and he understands I"ll never get over it.  I just turned 66 and I am ready to die.  I am not sure whether I will be able to do it to myself as the pain for the last couple months again has been like the first year but I can only take each day and lots of times just each hour at a time.  I've learned to expect nothing from myself as far as remembering the kind of person I was before.  That has all changed.  

So much else left when my husband did too.  So much of who I was because it was always in relationship to who WE were.  I would never change what I had with him but it is a good thing I didnt know what the pain would be like now.  He never would have been able to stand it and I am not sure how long I will but for now I still breathe.  Just know there are many many others out here that feel the same way just like there are many others who get over the loss and somehow make a different kind of life.  Me, I can't unhook.  I'm with him through and into death and yet still trying to live.  Its a bitch.  Not sure how or when my own time will come but I am more than ready.  
Take care the best you can.  Morgan

At 9:53am on January 26, 2018, Marjorie Willcox said…

Thankyou for your reply Linda. I wake up each morning and it's as though Paul's Death has just happened.  I will never feel right again

At 12:36pm on January 25, 2018, Marjorie Willcox said…

Linda Thankyou so much for replying re complicate grief. I feel just the same my husband and I were one person ( his words) and I know I will never get over losing him. I just wondered how a psychotherapist can help because it says online that it can and you say you feel better every year. Linda I just don't know how long we can go on with the pain.

At 2:28am on January 25, 2018, Marjorie Willcox said…

Linda how did you find a psychotherapist to help you with your complicate grief

? What do they do? in your reply to Maxy you said it will last till you die!

I am really struggling after losing my husband 17 months ago

Marjorie 

At 7:22am on January 24, 2018, Marjorie Willcox said…

Linda have you got complicated grief. Does it last forever. 

marjorie

At 11:08am on January 22, 2018, Marjorie Willcox said…

Linda am I right in thinking you have complicated grief ? I feel sure that I have too.

Marjorie

At 3:22pm on August 31, 2017, Joy said…

Linda, I didn't lose a spouse, but I wanted to say how sorry I am for the loss of your husband. You two were (let me correct that) are a very lovely couple and I know you'll be glad to see him again. My thoughts and prayers are with you. I see your posts periodically and my heart goes out to you.

At 1:50am on July 30, 2017, Alice Thompson said…
Linda, I'm so glad Babie J is at least a little better. My heart goes out to you.
 
 
 

Latest Activity

Christopher replied to Pamela philipp's discussion FAILING in the group Lost My Spouse...
"You had half your soul ripped out... basically. Of course you're going to struggle. Most folks just don't get that because they are still fine. They have not been so deeply wounded and have nothing to compare your struggle to. When I…"
1 hour ago
Christopher joined Jon-Paul Ackerman's group
1 hour ago
Christopher joined Julie Dolsey-Weiss's group
1 hour ago
Christopher replied to Betsy's discussion I am looking for people who have been widowed over two years to talk to
"I have a rollercoaster. Some days I am fine alone, others I simply need a wife to love on and make stuff for and ask her opinion. That's just how it is. I don't get a choice and folks who constantly tell me "get over it, it's…"
1 hour ago
Christopher replied to Betsy's discussion I am looking for people who have been widowed over two years to talk to
"I have the same experience and have talked to others who experience likewise, so it's a general fact regardless of age or gender. That's just how it goes. We'll be here, off and on. Hopefully."
1 hour ago
Christopher replied to Betsy's discussion I am looking for people who have been widowed over two years to talk to
"I have to look forward or I just want to lay down and die. My son needs a dad. He needs a mom too but I can't find a woman who will step up and do that for him. She died when he was 5 so he didn't know her well. He has not had a mom since…"
1 hour ago
Christopher replied to Betsy's discussion I am looking for people who have been widowed over two years to talk to
"Make something new. Marvel at it.Do it again. Repeat as necessary. It helps."
1 hour ago
Christopher replied to Betsy's discussion I am looking for people who have been widowed over two years to talk to
"Just got here. Widowed at age 28. It took 18 hours from healthy wife to no more wife. That was nearly 8 years ago. She wanted me to move on and I wanted the same for her if I went first... strange that we had the conversation mere months before her…"
1 hour ago
Christopher posted a status
"Need a wife, preferably one that has a place and isn't a workaholic. It's time to start again. No more loneliness."
2 hours ago
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"The dr from the hospital talked to my therapist.  I didn’t get any more answers.  I am convinced they gave up on her and since I did nothing, I’ll never know if she could have been helped.  I can’t fathom why I acted…"
2 hours ago
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I feel for you Brett if you are fighting all this alone. A big hug from India.  Last few days were really guilt stricken for me as I was at my hometown and all memories of my mother's treatment were refreshed and it really pains.  I…"
5 hours ago
Profile IconKim and Joeann joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
8 hours ago
morgan and Crystal Parker are now friends
15 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"It only rains here when I want to go to the pool. I am worried about Bluebell as well. I think she would have chimed in by now if she was feeling well. I had a selfish moment today. I actually have a lot of those. I was at the store and I started…"
17 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I hope everyone is doing well still have not heard from Bluebell it’s raining here today I hate weekends when it rains very depressing and boring hope to hear from everyone soon"
yesterday
M Adams left a comment for Shari Darling
"Dear Shari, strange, I had and continue to have similar problems regarding what to say about myself in this context, but somehow I stumbled here after my husband's death and it has been helpful.  Just reading of bereaved people's…"
yesterday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Morgan, As you always do in your posts, you take the words right out of my mouth.  Linda"
yesterday
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Before this nightmare I myself would never have imagined how debilitating the loss of a spouse is. Tracy B 2014 I thought I would be able to focus on my career to help me heal, but I don't even like going to work any more. At home, I can't…"
yesterday
Shari Darling updated their profile
yesterday
Profile IconShari Darling, Christopher and Tara Gibson joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
yesterday

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