Married with teenage daughter.I am the primary caregiver for my disabled husband. My dad died when I was about 12 yrs old from congestive heart failure and my mom in 2015 from dementia and congestive heart failure. Welcome others for mutual encouragement.
About my Loss:
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Thanks for your message Frances. I just saw it. I appreciate your kind words. God bless you. I don’t post on this site likebI did when my mom first died. It’s still hard adjusting to her not being here. Her death has helped me to be a lot more sympathetic to others who are suffering, but I am certainly not the same person I was before she died.
I'm sorry it happened faster then expected for your mother. It must have been hard watching her go through that. It's great that you had that time with her as short as it was.
I never had siblings, I have a step sister but I didn't grow up with her. I wasn't close to my step mom actually for the longest time I hated her btt I do miss her too. My dad and I were very close I could talk to him about anything.
I wish I had more time with my grams she was 90 but she was so active, she still walked everyday. She loved to bake I wish J had baked more with her. When she went into the hospital she had to have a blood transfusion, I don't remember what had happened but she did have uteran cancer. She came home and was back to herself then she had a seizure and was back in the ER two weeks later now with a blood infection so she was bed ridden for weeks. Months later she passed and everyone had given up on her it was hard I watched her go from this amazingly strong women who was always smiling and reading and playing games to someone I didn't recognize. She stopped smiling, talking then she was gone. It was sudden we thought we had more time and the hardest thing is she died in the same hospital ward my dad died in, same nurses.
When my dad had a brain bleed he had to come live with me for what was supposed to be temporary when my step mom passed it became permanent. For 6 years he was fine, normal still working he delivered newspapers to stores. I used to go with him and help, I used to hate it because u had to be awake from 12am till 3am and now I miss it. For those 6 years he lived with me it was like I was finally getting to know my dad, he had left when I was 4 and we saw each other on weekends and camping. Then he had a spinal infection and at 68 told he had leukemia and was given 6 months. He spent those 6 months in the hospital so I could go to school, I am grateful for that time I had with him.
I get that, I hope one day I will see my family again. It's wierd that once my dad died it was like we no longer talked to his side of the family and same with my grams. When she died it felt like we lost my aunts and uncles as well because she was the glue that kept everyone together.
When my dad was in the hospital I would visit everyday and we would play best of 5 cribbage and sometimes have a beer. I miss that. I miss watching hockey and betting who would win the Stanley cup with him.
I miss playing yahtzee with my grams she was always so lucky. She could roll an inside straight everytime all she had to do was ask for it. She loved to bake its not the same in this house without smelling her baked goods and cooking. She also lived to read, so anytime I had a new book I would read it then she would read it mind u it only took her a couple days lol.
It's hard when family doesn't want to talk about someone we have lost but I guess we all deal with it differently. I'm sorry you don't have many memories of your father but it's good to remember your mother.
Thank you, my grandmother would go by her middle name Margaret so whenever anyone called her Francis it always through me off.
The other day I was talking to my step sister for the first time since my dad died and when she mentioned a small memory about dad it made me smile. It also made me really sad I miss him so much, I wish I would just call him and talk to him and ask him for advice.
Thank you for being here to remember and grieve with.
Thank you; I sometimes hesitate to speak (type) the truth of how this is for me, as the last thing I want to do is make it worse for anyone else. At the same time, I know that it helped me to find others online whose truth was similar to…"
"Sorry to see your stories here... There is nothing worse. I will be at 4 years in June. After a while at least for me, the acute pain just became dull pain. I have heard that grief is love turned inside out. No…"
"Thank you bluebird for always encapsulating the horror movie we live in in a way that is gentle but firm. I can only nod my head in agreement with each of the points you made because I am so exhausted by trying to explain this widowing to…"
"Martee, I am so sorry you are also in this hell. I really have no hopeful words to offer; for me, any meaningful life ended when my husband died. I didn't survive, my body just hasn't died yet. There is no joy in life anymore, for me.
"Re doing things we did together I was thinking more of making piecrust with my mom, or the right way to chop vegetables, or starting plants from cuttings, not anything like vacation travel. When my husband died several people, including…"
"Brenda, I think that people look too hard to find some thing very big. That something that makes you happy could just be a doughnut. When you are taking baby steps it's just a matter of getting from the chair to the couch.
That's what I…"
Nice to have your words and well wishes here. We all know this journey all too well. There are days u dread as well, and on those days we all have, we just need to be very gentle with ourselves. That's something I'm…"
"Re baby steps, one thing that has helped me is doing things that we did together, or learning to do things that she did. It might sound sad or even heartbreaking, to do those things alone, and if it feels that way it’s not the right…"
"Day by day. Minute by minute. Find something, anything that makes you happy and focus on it. For me it's my dog. When she is gone I will focus on something else. It could be anything.
If that doesn't work, do it for your mom. Carry on for…"
"For me it now has been three years ... three years and four months.
I survived first by distracting myself from it, thrust into work and no time to think, it would only come back at evenings and nights to haunt me ...
I guess what helped me was…"
"Bluebird, so sorry for you loss,your posts spoke my feelings exactly on grief and pain of living. Can you please let me know how you survived all these years.
Its been just over 2 weeks and each day is an eternity for me I hope I don’t…"
"it has been almost 6 years (my mom passed away on Feb 18, 2014) since my mom (56-year-old) passed way, it still feels like yesterday..I can't believe it..anyone here whos still here after all these years?"
"Brett, I am looking for the same light at the end of the tunnel. I feel the same way about my dog he is a Labrador and its so so difficult to see him limp or have a bad day, he takes meds, I just want him to be comfortable. I say to…"
"Brenda, I rely on my faith so much, but I realized a long time ago that there won't be a magic moment where an angel comes down and tells me that everything will be okay. I'm not criticizing God. I just realize that this is something that…"