"Alice, I totally understand what you’re expressing and I feel the same way although my certainty waxes and wanes. Sometimes I feel so good because I know he’s right here with me and sometimes I can’t feel it and sink back down into…"
Yup, yup, yup. I know I shouldn't compare with other people's losses but I do think this is the worst. We lose our biggest love and we lose in all parts of life too. We eat dinner alone. We go to bed alone. We don't have…"
"Alice, Thank you so much. Your comment did a lot for me - it made me feel really good! I've had so many times where I'm convinced that Tom is with me. I heard his voice for the first time in a year and a half just a few weeks ago.…"
The only thing that keeps me here is thinking about how much my mom would suffer if I were gone AND the idea that I would have to come back in a next life and go through this again. I can't imagine having to do this again in another…"
"Linda and Morgan, I feel the same as you both. Every night I state my intention that I will die (an easy death hopefully since Tom's was so horrific) and be with Tom and that we will go on a great adventure together and never have to be apart…"
Thanks so much for your note. I am so sorry to hear about your wife. I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to write back to you sooner. I wonder how you are doing? Only a month since you lost your wife... I remember a numbness that…"
"I'm sorry for your loss. I lost my dearly loved wife in December. She was 40. She had been fighting for nearly 3 years! Fighting hard! While my journey is no more or less painful than yours, I had more time to process what was going on.…"
"No, you're not the only one. I drink every day to numb it. Sometimes it helps, sometimes it makes things worse. I only wish I didn't drink as much as I do because of all of the calories lol. If it kills me, that'd be great. I just…"
"Oh! Shoot. I'm sure I have some disorders lol but that's not what I'm trying to do!
Well I'm sure I can meditate on whatever hurts the most. God, idk if I wanna do that. I'll probably just cry and cry and cry. I know…"
"hahaha well I agree with you about it not being a great thing to have a life to live. And I'm not opposed to trying other methods like you mentioned - have thought kind-of seriously about ibogaine... But, thanks for the reply and the…"
"Jon-Paul, I love reading this. I wonder if you can share how you get into a trance state? (I realize that this is a very complicated question - but maybe the process that you went through to achieve this?) I've been practicing meditation for…"
"Stewart, you give me hope. I am one of those who came here so discouraged to find that most everyone is still wanting to die - even several years after losing the love of their lives. I now find it comforting that I am not crazy. So many people…"
"I'm so sorry Morgan. I think I feel just like you do. I think there's a part of my brain that thinks that Tom is coming back or that I will get to be with him soon. But that never comes. And it's like running a never ending marathon.…"
I'm sorry for your loss. I lost my dearly loved wife in December. She was 40. She had been fighting for nearly 3 years! Fighting hard! While my journey is no more or less painful than yours, I had more time to process what was going on. Perhaps it did me no favors in that you fully believe your going to beat this but in the end she was healed. Not in the way we were all praying for, but healed none-the-less, according to God's plan. I have to understand that I'm not in control. That has been the hardest thing for me to grasp is that I can't fix it, no matter how much I want to. The best doctors and medicines couldn't beat her cancer. I'm devastated but hold on to the hope that God's grace will be sufficient. I wish you all the good things in life! If you ever need to vent, I'll be here. -Tim
I am very sorry for your loss, I hope you can take each moment at a time and try not to think to much ahead, it just becomes overwhelming. I have not a sincere laugh or happy moment since I lost my love. You hit the nail on the head when you said, "my worst fear come to life". I lost my husband after a 10 month battle with cancer, he died in February and my life has become a series of uneventful acts, nothing has meaning. I cry everyday and its still the ugly cry! But I can also hear my husband telling me not to give up, he told me before he died that the hardest part of everything was seeing me fall apart, so I try to be strong and enjoy life as we planned. Its hard but some days are less hard. I haven't found anyone but family that understands. I too am have no children and am fairly young 49 ( to be a widow), I do have a dog that has kept me sane, truly if it wasn't for her I would never get out of bed. Although I understand the temptation to end the misery of life, I hope you don't and just give it time. Time isn't a cure for missing your love but in time you may feel that you have something to be here for. As we all on this site can attest to, life changes in a flash...I don't mean to be preachy at all, I just think that we are all put on this earth for a reason and life needs to run its course...There is a good I am totally wrong but it is what gets me through the pain.I wish you peace and love. Sue
Hello Jen, it was wonderful to read about your love's vibration visit, and it warmed my heart. Sometimes I think grief is only this hard because we are trying to live in a world that believes our loves are absent, whereas the reality is that they are not gone at all, but just in a different state. It is our fight against that reality that makes us suffer mentally. That's my idea. In any case I know my love is with me for various reasons including signs and communication... and just "deep knowing". If only I could hold onto that understanding in the face of this physical world and all the people in it who would not believe me. With love to you.
Jenifer. I lost my love to stage IV caner and we had 27 days from diagnosis to death. He was 63 and in 2 days would have been his 68th birthday. No kids and one cat who belonged to him and stayed with me afterwards until she too died. I am a broken shell of a halfway functioning person and it is only on sites like this that I get my most comfort since everyone here understands the depth of what death does to those left behind. I am so sorry that you have to join us but somehow sharing our misery seems to relieve a certain amount of the load we carry. One hour at a time.
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Welcome to Online Grief Support - A Social Community
"Yes Brett, perfectly said. They will surely forgive us and I just need to forgive myself.
I will be fulfilling her pending wishes which will help me to forgive myself and also take more care of my Dad as he is alone now."
"Avi, I am sorry that it's taken a while for me to respond to you. I ready your story and I felt it. I am so sorry about your mom. If someone were to ask me what the prevailing emotion on this website is, I'm not sure that I would say…"
"A friend of mine lost his brother to suicide last year. My friend asked me if I thought that his brother was in Hell. There's a question that no one wants to be asked. There's just no way of knowing. And I don't want to make a joke…"
"I have to add I miss my mom terribly, every single night I get in bed and in the darkness I cry and tell her if you are near me and can hear me I love you mom.
I say to her one day you will let me know what happened.
Every night I say…"
"Avi I am very sorry for your loss, this is a great group.
Brett somehow you always seem to shed light on a dismal situation. Thank you.
Virginia- no God does not allow bad things to happen to people, when we are brought into this world our…"
"Virginia, it will be better if you dont find out the things you should have done better in hospital. It will make your grief stronger.
I tried but stopped in between because it was causing lot of pain."
thanks for the love and for caring. I am still afraid of not knowing what happens to people that end their life. I wouldnt want to ruin my only chance to be with her again. Then again, wouldn’t a…"
"Virginia, I thought about it but it was never a real possibility for me. As I said earlier, there is nothing in this world that would hurt my mom more than ending my own life. I will never do it.
I try to be careful. I'm such a religious…"
The best help comes from “God, Who comforts and encourages and refreshes and cheers the depressed.”—2 Corinthians 7:6, The Amplified Bible.What God gives to help the depressedStrength. God “refreshes and cheers” you, not by removing all your problems, but by answering your prayers when you pray for the strength to cope. (…See More
Im sure you were giving your Mom the medicines that you thought were best at the time. Did you ask the doctor if that one dose would have made a difference? Sadly, it probably wouldn’t have.
I had no idea there were only a few…"
"Thanks bluebell. Yes I joined the group so that I can discuss by grief and get some good advices.
Virginia, same thing happened with me as well. My mother oncologist was also not telling me complete details amd just use to say that only few days…"
I am very sorry for your loss. I understand the sadness and guilt you are going through right now; all of us do. This is a good place to come and talk and share your feelings. You may not get an answer back right away sometimes, but there has…"
welcome, people on here are very supportive. I am going through the same guilt as far as what happened in the end. In the hospital, I didn’t talk to the doctors enough, I don’t know what I was doing. Now I…"
It sounds like you are in a very dark place. Before it gets too bad, I beg of you to reach out for help. Call 911 if you have to. Trust that you will feel better than you do now and you have to be alive to find that out.
" As always, Brett thank you for your caring posts. I think you could be a writer or counselor. Thanks everyone else for support also. I can’t offer any help because I dont know what to do. I was thinking tonight,…"
This is Avi and I am from India. I lost my mother on 15 may after her 7 months battle with last stage gall bladder cancer.
The grief that I possess now is that although I was closely monitoring her treatment since the first day, I was…"
"Theresa, I feel like a hypocrite when I try to think of something to say to you that would bring you peace. Because I know that I would feel the same way you do if that had happened to me. There was something. Before my mom came home on Hospice, she…"