"I haven't posted in a while but I'm still in the same boat I was last time I posted and to come back here and read others' posts that sound so much like what I'm still going through is a bit of a comfort.
Joe, like you I…"
"bluebird, that's the perfect answer and exactly what I'd want. I think about this all the time. I also think of how hard it would be to have him back for 5 minutes and then to have to lose him again if I wasn't able to follow him. For…"
"Morgan, Yes! I keep thinking I’ll find my reason for still existing but it eludes me. And without reason, what is the point of anything? And the exhaustion... it’s worse now than it ever was. I feel like I’m walking through water…"
i have spoken to two different mediums. Both were recommended to me by the same person but I will say this person was much less of a skeptic than I am. Both readings were a let down. The first one was just awful. Nothing she said hit on…"
"Same here. I’ve been wondering what it is about me that makes me this way. Just out of curiosity, would some of you share your astrological signs? I’m a Capricorn and it’s one of the most loyal signs in the zodiac. I have wondered…"
"Alice, I totally understand what you’re expressing and I feel the same way although my certainty waxes and wanes. Sometimes I feel so good because I know he’s right here with me and sometimes I can’t feel it and sink back down into…"
Yup, yup, yup. I know I shouldn't compare with other people's losses but I do think this is the worst. We lose our biggest love and we lose in all parts of life too. We eat dinner alone. We go to bed alone. We don't have…"
"Alice, Thank you so much. Your comment did a lot for me - it made me feel really good! I've had so many times where I'm convinced that Tom is with me. I heard his voice for the first time in a year and a half just a few weeks ago.…"
The only thing that keeps me here is thinking about how much my mom would suffer if I were gone AND the idea that I would have to come back in a next life and go through this again. I can't imagine having to do this again in another…"
"Linda and Morgan, I feel the same as you both. Every night I state my intention that I will die (an easy death hopefully since Tom's was so horrific) and be with Tom and that we will go on a great adventure together and never have to be apart…"
Thanks so much for your note. I am so sorry to hear about your wife. I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to write back to you sooner. I wonder how you are doing? Only a month since you lost your wife... I remember a numbness that…"
I'm sorry for your loss. I lost my dearly loved wife in December. She was 40. She had been fighting for nearly 3 years! Fighting hard! While my journey is no more or less painful than yours, I had more time to process what was going on. Perhaps it did me no favors in that you fully believe your going to beat this but in the end she was healed. Not in the way we were all praying for, but healed none-the-less, according to God's plan. I have to understand that I'm not in control. That has been the hardest thing for me to grasp is that I can't fix it, no matter how much I want to. The best doctors and medicines couldn't beat her cancer. I'm devastated but hold on to the hope that God's grace will be sufficient. I wish you all the good things in life! If you ever need to vent, I'll be here. -Tim
I am very sorry for your loss, I hope you can take each moment at a time and try not to think to much ahead, it just becomes overwhelming. I have not a sincere laugh or happy moment since I lost my love. You hit the nail on the head when you said, "my worst fear come to life". I lost my husband after a 10 month battle with cancer, he died in February and my life has become a series of uneventful acts, nothing has meaning. I cry everyday and its still the ugly cry! But I can also hear my husband telling me not to give up, he told me before he died that the hardest part of everything was seeing me fall apart, so I try to be strong and enjoy life as we planned. Its hard but some days are less hard. I haven't found anyone but family that understands. I too am have no children and am fairly young 49 ( to be a widow), I do have a dog that has kept me sane, truly if it wasn't for her I would never get out of bed. Although I understand the temptation to end the misery of life, I hope you don't and just give it time. Time isn't a cure for missing your love but in time you may feel that you have something to be here for. As we all on this site can attest to, life changes in a flash...I don't mean to be preachy at all, I just think that we are all put on this earth for a reason and life needs to run its course...There is a good I am totally wrong but it is what gets me through the pain.I wish you peace and love. Sue
Hello Jen, it was wonderful to read about your love's vibration visit, and it warmed my heart. Sometimes I think grief is only this hard because we are trying to live in a world that believes our loves are absent, whereas the reality is that they are not gone at all, but just in a different state. It is our fight against that reality that makes us suffer mentally. That's my idea. In any case I know my love is with me for various reasons including signs and communication... and just "deep knowing". If only I could hold onto that understanding in the face of this physical world and all the people in it who would not believe me. With love to you.
Jenifer. I lost my love to stage IV caner and we had 27 days from diagnosis to death. He was 63 and in 2 days would have been his 68th birthday. No kids and one cat who belonged to him and stayed with me afterwards until she too died. I am a broken shell of a halfway functioning person and it is only on sites like this that I get my most comfort since everyone here understands the depth of what death does to those left behind. I am so sorry that you have to join us but somehow sharing our misery seems to relieve a certain amount of the load we carry. One hour at a time.
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Welcome to Online Grief Support - A Social Community
"This website is like a secret world we inhabit where the platitudes and scorn for not fitting in are understood as hogwash. We know better than anyone on the outside of our grief how this has affected us. I am so tired of being labeled…"
"I,m grateful that I found this site. It's sort of like besides my family, you all are the only friends I have left. I do have a couple that are long distance, but don't get to see them very often. All my so called local…"
"Morgan & Joe,
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. You put into words the horror I go through everyday. Going on year 7 without my Husband Julian. He was my whole life and I want to be with him but I can't. If I didn't believe in God I…"
"Joe, 49 years is a long time. Long enough to embed yourself in each other and there is nothing that will soothe the tearing apart of that union. I knew my husband for 55 (since 2nd grade) and we were together for 35. Long…"
"Morgan, Monday will be a very tough day for both of us. It's one year for me which seems like one long day, and six for you, which scares the hell out of me thinking about how long do I have to be here before I go to her. It seems like one long…"
"Lets be honest. Death sucks. As I read the posts on here and I see how we struggle when we lose someone to death it boggles the mind how any of us keep moving. I keep saying to myself there is something I can do to make myself feel better and it…"
Emma is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
"I agree with all of that. I didn't expect a reward. My mom was reward enough, but I am not the same person that I once was. And I thought that some kind of balance would occur. I can't explain that really. It's been defeating. As soon…"
"After my husband’s death, and now after losing my mother, I also found myself somehow imagining that, not so much that something good would happen, more that some kind of reward would come to me, something to balance off the pain and…"
"There's something that has been on my mind lately and this is the best place to mention it. As much as I feared and dreaded my mom's death, I sort of felt like something good would happen, maybe not right away, but eventually. Like Karma…"
"I know how you feel. I lost my mom Jan 6, 2019 and it is so raw and all I do is cry. I was in the room when she passed and had been all day. My regret is I wasn't holding her hand when she took her last breath. She had dementia and I saw her 3…"
I am not a doctor but I am a student of the Bible. It seems that you are suffering from anxiety over your past. Humans including ourselves seem to filter the good things we have done and focus on the "bad". But God is the opposite.…"