JenShep
  • Female
  • Washington, DC
  • United States
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JenShep's Friends

  • Geri
  • TimB
  • Amy
  • Lost with out him
  • Jon-Paul Ackerman
  • morgan

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Latest Activity

JenShep and Alice Thompson are now friends
Oct 4, 2017
JenShep commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Trina, You're so right... the process is different for everyone. I think I'm getting to the place (1 yr since Tom left this earth) where everyone kind of expects me to be done grieving. Even my mom (who lost my dad when he was 43 and she…"
Oct 2, 2017
JenShep commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"It seems like every distraction, whether it's a trip (which I can't tolerate but, like a lot of you on here, people keep urging me to take) or work or dinner out with a friend, just postpones the anguish for a little while and then it…"
Sep 29, 2017
Susan K left a comment for JenShep
"Hi Jen, I am very sorry for your loss, I hope you can take each moment at a time and try not to think to much ahead, it just becomes overwhelming. I have not a  sincere laugh or happy moment since I lost my love. You hit the nail on the head…"
Sep 23, 2017
JenShep replied to Maxey's discussion Total numbness in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Maxey, I feel the same way that you do. I'm nearing the one year mark since I lost my husband. I told myself I'd give myself a year to see how it went before making such a big decision. It hasn't gotten better. In most ways…"
Sep 12, 2017
JenShep commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Alice, your comment so beautifully explains how I'm now living my life after losing my love last October. Thank you. It put a smile on my face today so thank you. And Bruce, I'm so sorry. Like Alice I do recommend just doing anything that…"
Sep 3, 2017
JenShep left a comment for Alice Thompson
"Hi Alice!  Thanks for your note and I love your idea and it makes me feel better to think that someone out there thinks the way you do. I constantly find myself wanting others to believe what I think/feel but then I wonder why I need that…"
Jul 10, 2017
JenShep and Lost with out him are now friends
Jul 10, 2017
JenShep updated their profile
Jul 2, 2017
JenShep commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Lost with out him, Thank you so much for your note.  I'm sorry if I'm posting this in the wrong place - I can't figure out how to reply directly to your note. You're right about putting on the brave face everywhere else and…"
Jul 2, 2017
JenShep left a comment for morgan
"Hi Morgan, I wanted to thank you for welcoming me to the group.  I couldn't find a way to reply directly to your note so I'm afraid my comment is ending up on your wall.  27 days from diagnosis to death is just awful.  I…"
Jun 30, 2017
JenShep commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hello, It's been 8 months since I lost the love of my life. We were true soul mates.  As his ex-girlfriend said "you didn't even have to do the work." We were made for each other.  I used to joke that if we searched…"
Jun 30, 2017
JenShep joined Jon-Paul Ackerman's group
Jun 30, 2017
morgan left a comment for JenShep
"Jenifer. I lost my love to stage IV caner and we had 27 days from diagnosis to death.  He was 63 and in 2 days would have been his 68th birthday.  No kids and one cat who belonged to him and stayed with me afterwards until she too died.…"
Jun 23, 2017
JenShep is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Jun 23, 2017

Profile Information

About Me:
43yo, no kids, no pets.
About my Loss:
I lost the love of my life in October, only 5 months after his stage IV pancreatic cancer diagnosis. He was only 41. A young 41. It was my worst fear come to life.

Comment Wall (3 comments)

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At 9:28am on January 17, 2018, TimB said…

I'm sorry for your loss. I lost my dearly loved wife in December.  She was 40. She had been fighting for nearly 3 years! Fighting hard! While my journey is no more or less painful than yours, I had more time to process what was going on. Perhaps it did me no favors in that you fully believe your going to beat this but in the end she was healed. Not in the way we were all praying for, but healed none-the-less, according to God's plan. I have to understand that I'm not in control. That has been the hardest thing for me to grasp is that I can't fix it, no matter how much I want to. The best doctors and medicines couldn't beat her cancer. I'm devastated but hold on to the hope that God's grace will be sufficient. I wish you all the good things in life! If you ever need to vent, I'll be here. -Tim

At 5:51pm on September 23, 2017, Susan K said…

Hi Jen,

I am very sorry for your loss, I hope you can take each moment at a time and try not to think to much ahead, it just becomes overwhelming. I have not a  sincere laugh or happy moment since I lost my love. You hit the nail on the head when you said, "my worst fear come to life". I lost my husband after a 10 month battle with cancer, he died in February and my life has become a series of uneventful acts, nothing has meaning. I cry everyday and its still the ugly cry! But I can also hear my husband telling me not to give up, he told me before he died that the hardest part of everything was seeing me fall apart, so I try to be strong and enjoy life as we planned. Its hard but some days are less hard. I haven't found anyone but family that understands. I too am have no children and am fairly young 49 ( to be a widow), I do have a dog that has kept me sane, truly if it wasn't for her I would never get out of bed. Although I understand the temptation to end the misery of life, I hope you don't and just give it time. Time isn't a cure for missing your love but in time you may feel that you have something to be here for. As we all on this site can attest to, life changes in a flash...I don't mean to be preachy at all, I just think that we are all put on this earth for a reason and life needs to run its course...There is a good I am totally wrong but it is what gets me through the pain.I wish you peace and love. Sue

At 1:26pm on June 23, 2017, morgan said…

Jenifer. I lost my love to stage IV caner and we had 27 days from diagnosis to death.  He was 63 and in 2 days would have been his 68th birthday.  No kids and one cat who belonged to him and stayed with me afterwards until she too died.  I am a broken shell of a halfway functioning person and it is only on sites like this that I get my most comfort since everyone here understands the depth of what death does to those left behind.  I am so sorry that you have to join us but somehow sharing our misery seems to relieve a certain amount of the load we carry.  One hour at a time.

 
 
 

Groups

Latest Activity

Nancy is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
yesterday
dream moon JO B replied to Elynn m's discussion Lonely
"thnx.............."
yesterday
Jazi replied to Elynn m's discussion Lonely
"You are a good person. I'm sorry you are gong through this."
yesterday
dream moon JO B replied to Elynn m's discussion Lonely
"thnx  i no 1 day thy will get loss we got but i will not treet thm way did me "
yesterday
Jazi replied to Elynn m's discussion Lonely
"Thank you. I am sorry people have abandoned you. "
yesterday
dream moon JO B replied to Elynn m's discussion Lonely
"so sorry on yore loss i no u soon lern abot frinds familyy wen it cums to a loss  u soon lern abot real frindss u do evn famllyy 1s it dont trun bac on u wen u need themm "
yesterday
Jazi replied to Elynn m's discussion Lonely
"You said everything I am feeling right now. I am doing and thinking the same. I know it doesn't help but I am so sorry. "
yesterday
Jazi replied to Elynn m's discussion Lonely
"I am new  here and don't really know how to navigate so forgive if I make a mistake. I am drowning in pain and have been ignored by friends. I have only two left and both have many things of their own. I sit at night and hurt until the…"
yesterday
Profile IconKayla and Jazi joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Monday
Billy Jo Colt commented on Kelli Auerbach's blog post New York Times essay I wrote about orphanhood
"Thank you Kelly for a genuine and bright yet deep insight into how berievement has affected you. Children are resourcefull and it isn't till in later life that the death of a loved one creates a new reality. I've written a song about the…"
May 17
Kelli Auerbach posted a blog post

New York Times essay I wrote about orphanhood

Hi everyone, I am new to the group, but not to loss. Thanks for adding me.I wanted to share an essay I wrote, "Welcome to the Freak Show: Becoming an Orphan in My 20s", that is in the New York Times today. Even though all of our experiences with grief are unique, I hope it resonates in some way.Best, KelliSee More
May 17
Profile IconKelli Auerbach, Fedor Malkin and Jan McCracken joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
May 17
Coartney Hale updated their profile
May 15
Coartney Hale posted photos
May 15
Elynn m commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Everyone sounds a little down today.   And that's OK.   I do the same thing.   I am learning how to move on with life.  I know that there will never be another Joe.  He was my life, my love.  I miss…"
May 15
Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Over the last couple of days, I've had some real negative thoughts, scary to say the least.  I know I'll never see her here with me again, which I know but can't accept, but today I questioned is she here with me in spirit? …"
May 15
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Marita, not that I am glad to  hear you suffer from anxiety and fear but thank you for at least sharing that you too are overwhelmed with living.  At times I want to scream that the way I feel is not some cry for sympathy but more I am…"
May 15
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Bluebird, You were the original poster who made it real for me that telling the truth about our pain was ok.  That it was how this grief was going to be no mater how I might be told otherwise.  And to know that your truth is that pretty…"
May 15
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Linda, yes, I too have the recurring thoughts my brain sends me that my husband is dead.  It's not possible for me to accept it either.  I know it as fact just as I know the sun shines, but when it appears in my brain I simply cannot…"
May 15
Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"As much as we all suffer, some may have an additional burden of having to go out into the real world and deal with people in business to survive.  The impact of that makes it all that much more unbearable.  While I'm not in that…"
May 15

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