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Comment by Dolly on December 13, 2013 at 6:04pm

tomorrow is the anniversary of Sandy Hook

Comment by Jane P on December 13, 2013 at 12:33pm

Don't deny your dreams.

Don't deny the little signs.

Don't deny yourself the pleasure of having a "visit" with your child.

Comment by Jane P on December 13, 2013 at 12:30pm

Ammy's words

"I'm ready whenever the time comes.  I just feel bad thinking of what my family will go through again."

That is exactly the way I feel. I just want to go.

So it's not just me that feels this way?

Comment by Teresa D. on December 13, 2013 at 5:55am

Dolly, maybe a different doctor with a different approach.  so sorry you are having difficulties.

Ammy all I know is I had one dream of Michael 3 months after he passed.  It was of Michael driving by in a black car, he was holding up the peace sign with his fingers and had a big smile on his face.  It seemed like a 2 second dream.  I took it as God letting me know he is in heaven and he is ok.  Just recently one of his friends posted a picture on facebook and it is Michael with the same smile, holding up the peace sign, and he even has on the same white t-shirt he did in my dream.  the only difference was in my dream he was driving.  To me the dream was God saying he is here with me and he's ok. 

I think of Michael mostly all day and I cry everyday but haven't had any other dreams of Michael. So is it a message or was it my subconscious? I don't know.  I'm just grateful I got to see him. And I hope to some day have another one.

As Christmas gets closer my stress level is rising. Maybe we can find something to do to bring happiness to our hearts. How about if each day someone tells a story of one of their fondest holiday memories.

Like when I shared how Michael discovered there was no Santa when he discovered bar codes on everything.  Or there was they year he got so excited he was jumping all over the place and accidently hit my daughter in the face giving her a black eye on Christmas morning.  She was all dressed up in her Christmas dress with her new shiny black eye given to her by her brother.  Every year we would joke about the gift no body wanted from Michael.  Or like when they were little and I would have someone jingle bells and then convince them that Santa just flew by.

I'm just trying to think of ways to make this easier.  Maybe there is no way but to endure it.

Comment by Connie K on December 13, 2013 at 2:02am

Dolly

 I'm sorry you are having such a problem with your ears ringing. That must be awful. I go to a sacro-craniel Chiropractor and he's great. This particular method is different than traditional chiropractic "adjustments". They gently adjust your sacrum (largest bone in your body and center) and cranial (skull) bones. I've had friends with ear issues ie. vertigo, ringing and he has helped. Maybe there is someone in your area who does this type of work. Maybe it could help. My friend had gone to several ENT specalists also. (((  )))

Comment by Ammy on December 12, 2013 at 6:50pm

Now, I'd like to ask if anyone believes that dreams have a message or are they made up from our subconscious?

I had the strangest dream Tuesday.  All I remember is that my son was there for a brief second and then I went to a door and opened it to an angel standing there.  It wasn't a good feeling because this angel was dark grayish in color, but not black and my first thoughts were 'it's the angel of death'.  I couldn't see it's face and it didn't say anything...just stood in the doorway.

I don't remember much else but it has been coming back to me in my thoughts.  You'll probably think I'm crazy, but at first I thought it was a premonition for me that I was going to die that night when I went to sleep.  And, yes, I was a little uneasy at first when I went to bed, but then I thought what does it matter to me if I die.  I'm ready whenever the time comes.  I just feel bad thinking of what my family will go through again.

Okay, I wrote it out.  Maybe it will leave me now.

Wishing you all a peaceful night.

Comment by Ammy on December 12, 2013 at 6:40pm

As for me, I have to believe that there is a God and that He is in control of all things.  Not that he causes all things.  I believe that Jesus did come to earth to die for us.  But there are days when those unbelieving thoughts creep into my head.  What if there is no God?  What if I won't see my son or any of my loved ones again?  Then I make a choice to believe because if I'm wrong I won't know anyway ... will I?

May peace and comfort be yours.

Comment by Jane P on December 12, 2013 at 12:41pm

I went to Sunday School every week until I was too old.

So I was educated in that there was some kind of God out there.

I have not attended church since I was 19.

But for some reason I have always "talked" to God.

I love reading about all your beliefs.

I want my child to be with God, if she can't be here with me.

In Heaven, there is no pain.

Comment by Jane P on December 12, 2013 at 12:34pm

Dolly

You're going to be okay....

xxoo

Comment by Vasanthi S on December 12, 2013 at 11:52am

Jane yes.. Dolly I can well understand our confusion.. Teresa, yes there are many many small acts of mercy which saves us from total breakdown..Lynn I thought that hose stones hitting the car seem to be some kind of premonitory act but how the hell would we know ? I read every post and am so thankful for you all being here, I would feel utterly lost if it wasn't for all here..it is a support and a loving one regardless of why we are here but I am sure the group isn't a kind of random one.. it is there for our healing so again more than a million thanks.

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