Don't grieve alone; 14,000 members and growing
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Hey Maureen, I've seen that poem before and it is very very true and yes the reference to "hell" is what it does to them when they are living - they are in a living hell as it controls everything about them and takes everything away. Thanks for sharing it, it makes us understand sadly what they were going through. x0
I'm more than 2 years into this and I still stumble with the answer to certain questions. Just like everyone else I don't want to have to explain anything or answer their curiosity. The only thing they need to know is we lost our children. The how and why doesn't matter.
How are you?
This is how I handle it.
If it's just a walk by "How are you", I answer quickly, "Good" "You?"
If I can change subject before answering, I do. "Hey you look nice today" or something like that.
Lastly, "I'm okay, thank you." Again, I move the conversation to something else.
It took me a while to practice "my act" but now I'm better at it.
As Teresa has stated, "You will learn to manage it".
In your own time.
No one can understand our grief anyway.
Now I feel I need to add that the reference to "Hell" in the poem, to me is symbolic of the life an addict lives....not what happens after death. I'm not trying to offend anyone....only help.
Hi Jill and Zell. It's true, we can't possibly know all of our children's activities, especially when they don't live with us, but I think it's important to mention that even if you had known, you may not have been able to prevent his death. My son was 21 when he died of a drug overdose on Oct. 31, 2014. I knew he was addicted to drugs. I had known for years. I tried to help him for years. He tried to help himself. The disease was so powerful! He had been to rehab 3 times. He'd been to jail a few times as well. I think for me, I no longer feel I have to explain the addiction because I already did that for years. I remember the first time I had to pick him up from jail when he was a young teenager. I was horrified and whenever I would talk to anyone about it, I felt shame. I was ashamed of the horrible parent I must be to have a son that was arrested and addicted to drugs. As parents we feel responsible for our children....at any age. Alcohol is just another drug, only it's legal and socially acceptable, making it harder to see if there's a problem with it. I found this poem on Facebook. It's terrible, but true:
Oh Teresa, that is crazy about the "sign" pretty cool I think. I'm not sure if I've had any. I dreamed of hugging Randy a couple of nights ago and it feels so good in the dream but I am completely heartbroken when I wake up. This last week has been so hard, 15 weeks yesterday. I miss him and want him so much. It's hard to make it through each day.
On Valentine's Day Michael would have been 32. All I can think about is what he didn't get to do. All the things we talked about that day. Just gone!
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