Sandy Hendrix
  • Female
  • Long Beach, CA
  • United States
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About Me:
I'm a 54 year old mother.
About my Loss:
I lost my 18 year old son on October 27, 2014 to a heroin overdose. He had been in rehab in March and I didn't know he'd gone back to this drug that kills. He lived with his dad since April and his dad didn't see what was going on.

Comment Wall (15 comments)

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At 9:38pm on January 1, 2018, Bern said…

Here we are another year and no sons...Life is so changed. I just can not log in daily, it became overwhelming.

At 12:43pm on October 18, 2015, Sandy Hendrix said…
Oh Lori thats so awful. Omg im sooo sorry. He sounds so great and its really really hard. They are in our thoughts every minute of every day and some days it feels like the pain will swallow us up but it doesnt. I still am very broken and empty part of me is forever gone. This is horrible as u dont even know. My randy started using drugs and he was selling zanax and he would lie and lie and then he went to heroin. I will never ever know y he was in such pain i live every day blaming myself and thinking i should have done more. But u didnt do anything wrong. He was ok. Its so hard to understand why he wd be taken. Im so sorry u lost your best friend. Ran was ony 18. He had his whole life to live. I look at his pix of around 10 12 and hes so happy and fun and adorable. All we can do is go on and keep trying. I wont lie its not easy. Havings friends here is my greatest comfort because everbody understands. Where do you live? Much love and hugs xo
At 10:11pm on October 17, 2015, Lori said…
Hi Sandy. My son Cameron, 26, was fine 1 hour before I found him at our home. I had left to go ride my bike and when I returned home I found him in his room on his knees bent over. My husband and I tried to do CPR but he was gone. We had autopsy done but I still don't want to know the cause. I'm sure you think that sounds odd but at this point I can't put 1 more thing into my mind. Not yet. Every second of the day I feel regret. Hope that's normal. Tonight I'm physically sick missing him. He was more than my son. He was a best friend. We shared so many interests. He always called me momma. I miss our movie nights. I don't know how I'm still living without him. Everyday something new that I miss about him surfaces. How do you go on living without your child?
At 1:02pm on September 30, 2015, Jon Haddigan said…
How have you coped for 11 months? I have a hard time seeing past today. Just when I think that I can't cry anymore, I am wrong. I have retuned to the office this week on a part time basis and coming home not having him waiting on me has just added a new level to the pain.
At 5:59pm on September 28, 2015, Jon Haddigan said…
Hi Sandy
His name is Connor..his brothers are confused as to why he's not coming home. As you know watching your kids grieving just adds another level on top of everything. It had to be some sort of bacterial infection picked up during surgery.
At 9:44pm on September 24, 2015, Jon Haddigan said…
Hi Sandy,
My son had outpatient surgery to correct a deviated septum. Brought him home following surgery and he was vomiting most of the night. Called doctor on cal and was told it was normal. Next day vomiting subsided but couldn't keep balance and speech was impaired. Called doctor again and was told it was all normal; side effects from anesthesia. That evening he had a sick stomach and couldn't get to the bathroom in time. I washed him up in the shower and layed him back down. Shortly after he told me he wasn't sick anymore and said he was sorry for being so sick. I told him nothing's too be sorry about and just wanted him to get better. He asked me for a hug and I then sat with him and rubbed his head. My 4 year old woke us up the next morning around 5:00am feeling sick. I was then I heard my son breathing erratically and making grunting noises. I thought he was having a nightmare and tried to wake him up. He didn't respond and we called 911. When the EMTs arrived his heart had stopped and I was giving chest compressions while they worked on his breathing. Got his heart beating and on the way to the hospital he coded 3 times. They worked on him in the ER and transferred him to ICU on life support. Within a few hours his body was not pumping enough blood to reach his brain and limbs. Had to make decision to remove life support that night. Still awaiting cause of death as it has been a mystery to doctors and the medical examiner. It had to be some type of bacterial infection from surgery....I relive this nightmare every day, playing over and over in my head.
At 3:40pm on September 23, 2015, Jon Haddigan said…
I received your comments....thank you. My condolences to you as well.
It took me a while to even figure out how to respond.
At 12:44pm on February 15, 2015, Jill E said…
Thank you darling Sandy
At 11:16am on February 15, 2015, Sharon said…
Sandy, i am so sorry. I knowwhat you are going through. You feel like a zombie. I live nearby if you ever need anyone.
At 3:18pm on February 11, 2015, Debbie said…
I am so sorry for your loss. Does anyone know when and if it gets easier
 
 
 

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bluebird replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Morgan, Thank you; I sometimes hesitate to speak (type) the truth of how this is for me, as the last thing I want to do is make it worse for anyone else. At the same time, I know that it helped me to find others online whose truth was similar to…"
8 hours ago
Jeff C replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Sorry to see your stories here...  There is nothing worse.   I will be at 4 years in June.  After a while at least for me, the acute pain just became dull pain.  I have heard that grief is love turned inside out.  No…"
12 hours ago
morgan replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
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bluebird replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
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M Adams commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
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yesterday
M Adams commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
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Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
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yesterday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
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Luna Nightshade replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"For me it now has been three years ... three years and four months. I survived first by distracting myself from it, thrust into work and no time to think, it would only come back at evenings and nights to haunt me ... I guess what helped me was…"
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Martee replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Bluebird, so sorry for you loss,your posts spoke my feelings exactly on grief and pain of living. Can you please let me know how you survived all these years. Its been just over 2 weeks and each day is an eternity for me I hope I don’t…"
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"I don’t want this..."
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Martee posted a status
"Today I have been walking as a lifeless, joyless, husk for 2 weeks and 4 days. My beautiful, loving husband is gone...."
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Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Yes it’s almost five and I’m still so very sad "
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Casey commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"it has been almost 6 years (my mom passed away on Feb 18, 2014) since my mom (56-year-old) passed way, it still feels like yesterday..I can't believe it..anyone here whos still here after all these years?"
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Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett, I am looking for the same light at the end of the tunnel.  I feel the same way about my dog he is a Labrador and its so so difficult to see him limp or have a bad day, he takes meds, I just want him to be comfortable.  I say to…"
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Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brenda, I rely on my faith so much, but I realized a long time ago that there won't be a magic moment where an angel comes down and tells me that everything will be okay. I'm not criticizing God. I just realize that this is something that…"
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