I lost my 18 year old son on October 27, 2014 to a heroin overdose. He had been in rehab in March and I didn't know he'd gone back to this drug that kills. He lived with his dad since April and his dad didn't see what was going on.
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Oh Lori thats so awful. Omg im sooo sorry. He sounds so great and its really really hard. They are in our thoughts every minute of every day and some days it feels like the pain will swallow us up but it doesnt. I still am very broken and empty part of me is forever gone. This is horrible as u dont even know. My randy started using drugs and he was selling zanax and he would lie and lie and then he went to heroin. I will never ever know y he was in such pain i live every day blaming myself and thinking i should have done more. But u didnt do anything wrong. He was ok. Its so hard to understand why he wd be taken. Im so sorry u lost your best friend. Ran was ony 18. He had his whole life to live. I look at his pix of around 10 12 and hes so happy and fun and adorable. All we can do is go on and keep trying. I wont lie its not easy. Havings friends here is my greatest comfort because everbody understands. Where do you live? Much love and hugs xo
Hi Sandy. My son Cameron, 26, was fine 1 hour before I found him at our home. I had left to go ride my bike and when I returned home I found him in his room on his knees bent over. My husband and I tried to do CPR but he was gone. We had autopsy done but I still don't want to know the cause. I'm sure you think that sounds odd but at this point I can't put 1 more thing into my mind. Not yet. Every second of the day I feel regret. Hope that's normal. Tonight I'm physically sick missing him. He was more than my son. He was a best friend. We shared so many interests. He always called me momma. I miss our movie nights. I don't know how I'm still living without him. Everyday something new that I miss about him surfaces. How do you go on living without your child?
How have you coped for 11 months? I have a hard time seeing past today. Just when I think that I can't cry anymore, I am wrong. I have retuned to the office this week on a part time basis and coming home not having him waiting on me has just added a new level to the pain.
His name is Connor..his brothers are confused as to why he's not coming home. As you know watching your kids grieving just adds another level on top of everything. It had to be some sort of bacterial infection picked up during surgery.
My son had outpatient surgery to correct a deviated septum. Brought him home following surgery and he was vomiting most of the night. Called doctor on cal and was told it was normal. Next day vomiting subsided but couldn't keep balance and speech was impaired. Called doctor again and was told it was all normal; side effects from anesthesia. That evening he had a sick stomach and couldn't get to the bathroom in time. I washed him up in the shower and layed him back down. Shortly after he told me he wasn't sick anymore and said he was sorry for being so sick. I told him nothing's too be sorry about and just wanted him to get better. He asked me for a hug and I then sat with him and rubbed his head. My 4 year old woke us up the next morning around 5:00am feeling sick. I was then I heard my son breathing erratically and making grunting noises. I thought he was having a nightmare and tried to wake him up. He didn't respond and we called 911. When the EMTs arrived his heart had stopped and I was giving chest compressions while they worked on his breathing. Got his heart beating and on the way to the hospital he coded 3 times. They worked on him in the ER and transferred him to ICU on life support. Within a few hours his body was not pumping enough blood to reach his brain and limbs. Had to make decision to remove life support that night. Still awaiting cause of death as it has been a mystery to doctors and the medical examiner. It had to be some type of bacterial infection from surgery....I relive this nightmare every day, playing over and over in my head.
I wish I had some advice for you because when I sign in, I notice that you often sign in I guess to check if anything new has been posted. Being lonely after losing your Love after so many years together is a major part of all who…"
12 hours ago
Holly Baldwin is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
"You are right. I became conditioned with my mom. Every health crisis that my mom would have was traumatic for me. And then there would be that ray of light. I would have mom safe at home once again. I developed some false hope. But as time passed…"
"Baby steps is such a good metaphor — I think when we’ve been traumatized by terrible loss, many of us lose our resilience, and basically have to baby ourselves, setting very tiny goals and challenges, slowly working our way forward.…"
"Theresa, it's hard for me to be positive about anything. I always feel like something bad is right around the corner. That's because every time I thought mom was safe and had cleared another hurdle, something else would go wrong. It's…"
"It's been a little bit since I shared but it seems like I'm just stuck, out of sync with everything included myself in a way. It's been like one long endless day. I don't know how to explain it even. I'm…"
"Brett you are right that is the "dark" side, it scares me too
That is so great about the phone call from the directors at the center, that must have made you feel like a million bucks.
You are making a positive impact, I know…"
"Avi, I actually looked up the EquoVox. I couldn't find an English link for it. I'll keep looking. I'm just really curious how it works. And I want you to make your own decisions. I just want you to be happy."
"M, I'm half Catholic, and Theresa is 100% Catholic. This is a huge part of Catholicism. Ouiji boards just scare the crap out of me. I listened to a lecture series from a Vatican exorcists. There was a question and answer period. Someone asked…"
"Brett, it gives me such a lift to hear about your new gig — sounds perfect! Lucky kids too, great when they can connect with an adult who also makes them laugh.
Your comment re the spirit world app that Avi came across brought back a…"
"Avi, things like that scare the crap out of me. I mean, how do you know that you are actually communicating with your mom, and not something bad? I believe that you may open yourself to something that may attach itself to you. That's just…"
I send you my heartfelt condolences as well as a welcome to our website. It is a safe place to come and talk or vent about your loss. Talking is very helpful in sorting out how to move forward. I would like to share a paragraph from what…"
"No we should not, God is the only communicator Avi, you are right.
We should not disturb the deceased, they are in peace, it is us who are not in peace.
I still struggle everyday, I just have come to recognize that this is my new life. "
I m sure everyone on our forum had a very bad day. I just kept myself very busy all. Since I live in Florida and it is in the 70's I worked outside all day long. I feel Julian is with when I am outside. He knew I just loved the outdoors…"
Few days back I came to know an app EquoVox which can help you communicate with your loved ones who are deceased. It seems be fake to me but have seen some videos on you tube people claiming its real. Did anybody on this group…"