Don't grieve alone; 14,000 members and growing
Started by Kar. Last reply by Julie McKinney Jan 17, 2022.
Started by Kar. Last reply by Robert Matthews Mar 11, 2018.
Started by Karen R.. Last reply by Jacqueline Miller-Gartner Mar 17, 2022.
Started by cindy parrott. Last reply by Dennis C. Jun 27, 2015.
Started by Kar. Last reply by Robert Matthews Mar 11, 2018.
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Your right Connie it does take a lot of energy to get through the day. Feeling "lost" and "overwhelmed" are my new norms.
I thought as time went things would get easier. But No. All the sudden I found myself facing reality. I no longer try to negotiate the situation. I know when I wake up it won't be different. It took me 2 years to admit this to myself.
I try to live everyday for Michael. I know he's not on earth but I still look for him everyday. I talk to him and yea I answer for him too. There's days I have to tell myself he is holding my hand just to get myself to calm down.
A friend last week told me she was proud of how far I have come. I'm only getting better at wearing the fake face. I can't stop the tears but I now hold them for when I'm alone so I guess I'm getting better at "managing" it too.
Sorry - i need to vent!! It takes so much energy to get through normal life. Do you all just suddenly feel so overwhelmed you just wonder if you can do it?
One of my kitties got very sick this week. They think it's Lymphoma. He ad a 106 temp and I didn't think he was going to make it but they are controlling the infection. now off to the oncology specialist vet! This kitty has helped me through this grief so much. He sleeps on a pillow behind my head every night and purrs and purrs.Then Sat night in the middle of the night the dog had another epileptic seizure. He's okay but I guess we are going to have to put him on hard core drugs.
Now in the meantime I had to replace the granite and backsplash in my kitchen because it had cracked and the sub counter was dry rotting. They finished Sat and the grout color is supposed to be white and it's gray. After all we've been through you'd think just let it go. Who cares about that. But every time I walk in the kitchen my heart sinks a little more. Because it was supposed to match an area it butts up to. For peet's sake it's white tile with white grout. I don't want to deal with the contractor and have conflict and redo etc. But I also feel life is too short to settle for something you paid for and have to look at every day. Instead it just makes me sad and overwhelmed. But I will probably make them redo it, it just feels like a giant hill to climb. All I want to think about is my precious kitty and pup. (Only kids I have left.) It's ike I just can't stand one more stupid thing to go wrong....
Jill
I am so sorry for what you are having to go through.
It must be very difficult.
One day at a time, one minute at a time.
Hang in there.
Denise I think celebrating your son's birthday with family and friends is a beautiful idea.
Jill no one can take your son from you. No matter where you move or where you go he will always be in your heart. I'm sorry this has to be so toxic between the two of you because no matter what the circumstances I'm sure you both hurt.
As parents, no one understands or gets the pain we experience. This is a place I wouldn't want to see my worst enemy enter. Sometimes we want so much to be angry and to find someone, if even ourselves, to blame.
I get as a mother why you would want to have items you know were important to him but I think right now the grief the two of you are feeling is getting in the way.
I agree with Connie, I would try to express what items you would like and try to explain to her why you would like to have them. Leave the anger and issues out of it and appeal to her heart. If she continues to withhold them well.....cherish what you do have and remember he will always be in your heart.
For me after Michael left everything became a process and I had to do that process in my own time. Like the quilt there was a process I had to go through to get there. I have the bag of scraps but can't open it and look at it because then I have to face I let someone cut his jersey's up even though the quilts are wonderful to have. It's a process....
Connie I hope you decided to have your drum circle and I would love to see your blanket when it's done.
Dolly I love that picture. Brandon has the biggest brightest smile ever. He always looks so happy. Sorry to hear so much is going on for you. I will keep you guys in my prayers.
Jill I am so sorry your daughter in law is being like this. Perhaps in a bit you can write her a letter explaining that your husband had a right to his opinion but that doesn't mean she should punish you by withholding something that might help you have a little peace. Sometimes in a letter you can express yourself easier. How was it interacting with her when you met?
Teresa - I am finally having the blanket made with my son's t-shirts in time for his birthday this year. It will be a surprise for his dad.
Don't even worry about it Jill, she is being such a selfish bitch. I can't understand why she is being so mean. You as his mother deserve to have some of his stuff that you asked for. I don't understand people at all. I'm so very sorry. Is there any way you can ask one more time and be very specific about what you want before you move? So sorry she is so mean.
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