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Comment by Connie K on April 29, 2015 at 11:29am

RJ I just write a LONG message to you and I LOST IT !! Now I have to run.  You are not going crazy you are learning to live with this grief, is all. Some days you feel stronger and wiser , then back to square one. I only wish I could say it gets better but 29 months into it and I too like Teresa said, cry everyday.  From those in my support group who are 10+ years they seem to have found a groove to their lives but the pain always remains. It just sucks and today is one of those damn days. My heart breaks for  us all and especially for Davi and Rachel having to deal with all of this loss. Sening you all love and prayers.

Comment by Dolly on April 29, 2015 at 11:18am

so sorry Davi.. so much pain... too many losses... hugs and prayers..

Comment by Connie K on April 29, 2015 at 11:14am

Oh Davi - OMG I can not believe  what you are having to deal with. I am so so sorry for your loss. I hope you can find support and a good counselor for your kids. You will just have to try to focus on them and keeping your family strong together. Oh my dear is there anything at all I can do? Please feel free to call me anytime. I will send you a PM with  my number.

Comment by Dolly on April 29, 2015 at 9:42am

I found this little bunny on the internet before the real bunny showed up on my doorstep.. but it sure does look like the same bunny !! God has so many ways of reaching out to us... and reminding us of our lost ones.. who aren't really LOST.. just temporarily away...

Comment by Dolly on April 29, 2015 at 9:32am

Hi everyone.. just three more days until Brandon's leaving day again.. two years now... I feel numb and like I'm bracing for a clobbering... the little reminders of him seem to have slowed down to a trickle, but are still so heartwarming.. the other day the cat brought the tiniest bunny onto our back porch.. we rescued it from her and put it in the woodpile so it would be safe.. seeing that tiny bit of fur, all vulnerable and scared... just made me remember the little boy we adopted all those years ago who came to us so withdrawn and frightened and with so many health issues.. again lately I have been reminded that not all of the world wants to hear about our lost children or see our grief.. this time through a Christian online church that recently started up and which I had thought would be a good place to participate in.. but they have told me I am expressing self pity, and later was told that I wanted to 'pour out my grief on the internet' when all I was trying to do was share memories of Brandon and express my sadness... so many people were asking for prayer over there own losses I thought maybe a group where we could remember loved ones, and share our hard times to help each other heal would be good... guess I was wrong.. so it makes this site all the more precious to me... love you all

Comment by Teresa D. on April 29, 2015 at 6:55am

Davi, I am so sorry you have to feel another loss so close to your heart.  HUGS!!!!!!

Rj your not crazy! I've been on this path for the past 31 months and I still cry everyday.  I'm learning to do it more privately now but I still cry everyday.  Hell I'm crying right now.

Comment by Vasanthi S on April 29, 2015 at 6:10am

Laurie ~ Jesse's mom... That link was good, cried a lot because it is so true for us... every word. It is helpful and insightful. Some suggestions are good  but what I finally do understand is that life is altered and navigating this new territory is so very difficult.In two days I shift home and it means leaving the home where I was with my son for many years. It has been a cocoon, something to get back to, our shared experience. When I walk into my son's room I am always lulled into forgetting that he is not here. I kiss his pillow at night and smooth the sheet before I sleep. I always kissed him onhis forehead before he slept whenever we were here together. He would raise his head in mock annoyance and say ok ok hurry up but I know how pleased he used to be with all the small gestures of love. Never again?:(

Comment by Jesse's Mom on April 29, 2015 at 5:40am

This blog was recommended by another mom I trust. Thought it had some thoughtful insights on grief. It is written by Pamela Haddock:

http://ofmenandmount...path-we-travel/

Comment by Vasanthi S on April 28, 2015 at 11:46pm

Davi ,

I don't know what to say anymore. I feel so sad that you lost your husband and before that your wonderful sweet child just a year ago. My heart goes out to you and I am just wondering how you will cope. Is anyone near you whom you are close to who can be with you? You are in my prayers and am holding you close in my thoughts and praying for strength, grace and peace for you in such a difficult time. 

Comment by Sharon on April 28, 2015 at 11:20pm

Rj, you are not going crazy. What you are feeling is so normal. I feel the same way. One day I feel a little better, and the next is the awful pain and sadness again. Grief is like the ocean. It comes in waves.  I have made plans to not be home for Mother's day.  You and I are about the same in our journey.  Still a long way for us to go...

Davi, I'm so sorry about the loss of your husband and your son.  Sounds like you have been through a lot.  Please know that we are all here for you.

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