"Wise words in response to Elynn, Joe. And Ellyn, I have the same routine and feelings. I scream along working to reestablish myself in a new location which has taken me the last three years out of the seven plus that he has been gone. Then I keep…"
"Thank you for posting Elynn. Yes, we want them back, and although we know that's impossible, it's like we can't take no for an answer, catch 22. Friends drift away, kids are busy with work and family. so an occasional…"
"Haven't been here in awhile. Thought I was keeping busy, but who am I trying to fool.? This year will be five years in September since Joe went to be with Jesus. I miss him so much. Don't know what to do…"
"I lost my husband 7 1/2 months ago and it seems like a lifetime ago. I understand and share the pain and loss that most of you feel and I wish I could be with my lost love, too. I know that I will join him again but in the meantime I know that I am…"
"It's all too hard. Today my husband would have turned 71. In a way I think that number has me thinking that I am able to say to myself "well, over 70 it's borrowed time". So I've lived the seven and half years to get this…"
You are right that very few people know how we really feel. Unless they had a wonderful marriage that we had with our spouses. Most people in life do not get to enjoy what we had with our spouses and it really makes it hard to find a group…"
I thought about you yesterday and almost PMd you but as usual, paralysis sets in when ever I try to do something. The only sure thing I do daily is my devotional two to three hour visit to the cemetery every day. Other than…"
Haven't been on in awhile since losing my fur-baby soulmate Babie J. Dealing with her death has been just as devasating as losing my Dear Husband. A year after he died I rescued my 9 year Babie J. She was an emotional service dog…"
"Hoping, hoping, hoping. I don't know if I'm losing it but every day is worse and worse. While I won't suicide myself, nothing says I have to take care of my body. I won't go into detail about that.
"I don't know about the rest of you but this being alone without the love of my life is getting harder not easier. Yesterday I pulled out my will. I seem to be less able to withstand the buffeting of everyday forces. It's…"
"Thank you Bluebird for your beautiful post and I am so sorry for the loss of your own fur-babies. My Babie J saved my life after my Husband died and now I have nothing, so I am more than ready to join them both. I keep praying to God to take…"
For some reason the site won't allow me to access the post you must have made about Babie J's death, but I am able to see people responding to it. I am so sorry for your loss; I know how hard it was for me when our little boy cat…"
Thank you so much for your kind words. Losing Babie J was the last thing I had to love and she saved my life when Julian died. She was a 9 year rescue and it was pure unconditional love when our eyes met.
Now that I have no one in my…"
I think John has said everything I am feeling each day. I sometimes think during the day of how many of us are out there suffering through this pain. It has been almost two years for me, so, I guess, after three there is still no relief or hope in sight. I feel nothing, and for those who tell you are now free to do things; they are crazy. Why would I want to be free of my love who made all the things we did worthwhile, meaningful, and happy?
Everyone who had a love will someday lose them; it is inevitable. They will then, and only then, understand our thoughts and pain.
I do not wish it on anyone.
Elynn, I can relate to your situation as it parallels mine perfectly. First, I am sorry for our loss. I am aware there are no words that can take away the sting, the inconsolable pain of your loss. I lost my Nancy, April 29th of last year and am still and will for a long time be facing the hell of loneliness, the emptiness and the never ending longing for that person who defined you and was always there for you, your soul mate and best friend. That was Nancy. Now, I too cannot drive and have a limited social network, again, apart from this grief site. I live exclusively on social security and can barely make that last, but I do. I wake up broken and go to sleep broken, spending the day lost and wandering through my empty house, more like a tomb than a home. We are all so vulnerable to to the world we must live in and on that day I do not wake up, I hope to wake up in the arms of my true love, my beautiful Nancy. I pray the same for you and everyone who must endure this cold empty life. May God watch over you and bless you and take care of yourself...Mel
Anyone else feeling lonely and depresxed? I have trouble getting out if the house because I do not drive. My husband used to go everywhere with me. It's really lonely and depressing having to stay in the house all day (luckily my son is here daily). Too hot to go outside (here in the desert ). Wish I had something to look forward to.
My heart goes out to you. Your last comment is worrisome. I don't know what to say to help you other than pls find strength from the love of your lovely wife to keep going. Take care of yourself. Praying for comfort and peace for you and all others including myself.
Hello all. I have been relentlessly seeking. Sorry to be away so long but I am very unhealthy and don't want to spread it. There is hope for you if you truly want it. I however do not. I find peace in the agony that grows deeper each day. With much understanding comes great suffering.
Just want to say Jon-Paul I appreciate your recent posts. "I rendezvous with my Queen daily. I've never felt closer to Her". I found that absolutely beautiful. That is what I am aiming for with my love. It seems the only option to survive this nightmare. To "seek ruthlessly" - if you ever care to share what has been your journey I would be interested to hear.
John-Paul- I want to thank you for creating this community. It's help me more then any counseling or medication or doctors could of ever have helped. This is one of the most difficult and painful times in anyones life. And to be able to communicate with other people who are experiencing the heartbreaking, life-changing, loss of a soulmate.... It's proving to be of sincere importance. So- thank you John-Paul.
"i hate big c i do iv frindss had tretmnt delayd cpz of cov 19
coz of cov 19 thy will probly not evn mak it
cnt evnhav a desent sendd off lk my nbor i cud not say gud by 2 coz of rstrisn
loss frind 2 cov 19 cud not say gud by to…"