Grief is a tidal wave that over takes you, 

smashes down upon you with unimaginable force, 

sweeps you up into its darkness, 

where you tumble and crash against unidentifiable surfaces, …

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Let's all begin to heal today!

 

Michael

 

It's been 4 months since my wife Jami passed away, and 7 months since my mother passed.

I have written a lot about grief, how to conquer it, cope with it.  What I have learned is that grief is a struggle, an

overbearing and overwhelming struggle when I stay in its path by thinking of sad thoughts, sad feelings of missing whom I have lost.  Feeling guilty that I may have been able to fix my wife and possibly been more understanding of my mother. 

In coming to terms with…

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Padre Pio National Shrine

 

 I went to the shrine yesterday. It was like Cheryl was pushing me to go. I prayed and talked with Ruthie. She is a true blessing. I thank you every day for encouraging us to go. I told her about Cheryl and I was very upset.…

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Momentary lapses of sadness is something I wish to describe as those moments in which I am overcome with dread and  emotion about the loss of the beloved Lisa.  This is different than grieving I believe because these moments don't last very long now.  They come to me while I rethink the events surrounding her death and our wonderful life together(which seems like 24/7 although she been gone for 3 months now).  

 

My latest momentary lapse of sadness was this morning as I looked…

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What's to say when all is lost, when the words don't matter now

yet I find myself in constant need to spit them out somehow

struggling to convey to you although the moment's passed

to heed the words we spoke to you, but now the dye is cast

 

Days tick by, a silent count thrust upon my heart

one by one they pass me by, whisking me beyond and far

never leaving me time to breathe I beg time "slow down for me"

as though I had but whispered,…

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it was 79 days today since Robert had been hit, and i find myself randomly thinking about it and crying. I thought i would be better by now, i always had been with any sort of loss. When me and Robert were little, our step-grandpa, who we call Popop Ralph, passed away unexpectedly and he and I were over it within 2 months. With Robert, I know i was much, much closer to him and it's a much more difficult time for me now, considering i was already really sad since Robert moved out (about 2 months… Continue

From Letters

. . . . You will not be cured, but . . . one day (an idea that will horrify you now) this intolerable misfortune will become a blessed memory of a being who will never again leave you.  But you are in a stage of unhappiness where it is impossible for you to have faith in these reassurances. 

I am here because my boyfriend of 3 years died by suicide in February. For the first few weeks, I thought I was handling it very well, but I realized later that I was numb. I have good days and sad days. I try to accept what feelings come and not judge myself for them.

 

I talk to him often, mostly when I wake up or right before I go to sleep. I send him love every day. I have heard that that helps their soul/spirit.

 

Some of my friends do not seem to understand…

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I am very new here.  I thought I would write a bit about me so you all have a better idea where I am coming from.  It is quite long, so I will summarize it by saying that my wife's life-long illness caught up with her and took her from us one month after her 41st birthday.  Her death was likely hastened by one big mistake on my part and a plethora of really bad moves on the part of some…

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I have been in this crappy club for going on 13 years. I have felt every emotion and every hurt that I have been reading about.I have said and done everything I know of to not accept what has happened to my family. I have done just about every thing short of suicide to stop the pain and the sadness. Finally I have come to realize that the only thing left is  to make a decision as to how Im going to live the rest of my life. These thoughts and descions do not happen overnight. This has not been… Continue

You were always there for me when I needed a shoulder to lean on,

you could make me laugh after the most stressful day,

you believed in me when I had doubts,

and you kissed my bruises to make the world okay.



I still don't always know which way is up,

but I know that you are looking down on me,

and my only hope is that I continue to make you proud,

because you have made me everything I am today.



My Guardian Angel.

May your body be at… Continue

I don't know how to go on without you mom I am so lost. I miss you more then ever right now I don't know where to go from here. I know you are up in heaven watching over me and cody and the rest of us. I LOVE YOU MOM 

Im gonna try n write a little bit about my mom every night or so. I think it will help. The hard part is getting started.  Where do I begin. Theres so much to say about my mom. She was a wonderful woman who never had a mean word to say about anyone. She loved gardening, flower beds and growing Hostas. She had over a hundred different varieties of Hostas. She knew the name of every single one and even had a Hosta Map, so she wouldnt forget who was planted where.  Next spring when the Hostas come… Continue

July 24, 2011

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I was really struggling yesterday with some guilt. You know the would of, should of, could of’s?

I kept thinking to myself,

“I should of stayed home that Sunday before mom died instead of taking a couple…

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