Sandy G
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About my Loss:
I lost my boyfriend to suicide in February

Sandy G's Blog

One year anniversary

I got through the one year anniversary OK. I went up to the lighthouse where Ken died and walked along the beach nearby. It wasn't too cold, considering it's in Maine in February.It was Valentine's Day.

This was a favorite place of his, and also his mother's. He'd scattered his mother's ashes there, and we scattered his ashes there also (and also his cat's ashes).

I will not let the fact that he died there taint the place for me. I will always have fond memories of our visits…


Posted on February 19, 2012 at 12:16am

I got a message from Ken

Last weekend I went to do an angel card reading for a friend of my cousin. He had lost his wife earlier this year. After the reading we were talking about grief and loss. The next day I got a call from my cousin. Joe, the friend, Had gone to see a medium that morning and after getting messages from his wife, the medium asked 'Who is Ken?'. Somehow Ken used Joe's reading to send a message to me! Ken told the medium and Joe that he loves me very much, he is sorry for leaving early and he wants…


Posted on December 24, 2011 at 1:28pm — 5 Comments

Post Thanksgiving sadness

I have been feeling sad since Thanksgiving. I was busy with cousins on Thanksgiving and the night following, but eating the leftovers I brought home has made me feel lonely. I always brought the leftovers to Ken's house and we ate them together. They would have been gone sooner than just me eating them. Although he broke up with me a several times, we were always together Thanksgiving weekend. Not always on the holiday itself, but for the weekend. And I am really missing him not being here…


Posted on November 29, 2011 at 9:58pm — 5 Comments

Miscellaneous musings

It's hard to believe it's 7 months tonight. In one way it seems like a long time, in another way it seems short. I am doing better. I was at my support group tonight for those who have lost loved ones to suicide and I felt like I was able to say a few helpful things. That felt good. When I first went there, I felt very shy and didn't want to say anything. But it is good to talk about it. And with this group, people understand the questions, the regrets, the if only's, and it's OK to talk…


Posted on September 14, 2011 at 8:23pm

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At 12:16am on November 25, 2012, MIchael A Ballard said…
Hi Sandi
At 11:27pm on December 14, 2011, MIchael A Ballard said…


Thank you much for being a friend.  

I have had the same comfort feeling many times and I believe in it.

It's the heart and all of the spirit of love that just is and always will be.

I don't believe in death at all.  

Also, thank you for thinking I'm not goofy.  Sometimes I feel like I am approaching goofy-hood nowadays.

I have to check my birth certificate.  Maybe I was born in Goofyhood!
Take good care and thank you,


At 12:04am on December 1, 2011, Melissa Broome said…

Thanx so much Sandy it is truly beautiful. I also wanted to add I'm sorry your friends aren't very understanding..Even if you weren't with your bf at the time of his death you still loved him. I think that's wrong of them to think you can just get over something like that. Not just that his death was traumatic. So very sorry..I miss my mom too!

Big hugs to you!


At 11:32pm on November 30, 2011, Melissa Broome said…

Sandy hello So sorry for your loss..I love that poem you found.. Do you mind if I borrow it?


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I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....
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