Don't grieve alone; 14,000 members and growing
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I made a lot of mistakes in my life, now it is guilt and pain.
Teresa,
Danny was also a donor, but he never told me. They called me and I denied them, I could not deal with it. I did not know that was his wishes.
I am sorry now.
I found out Michael was donating to the "organ fund". I felt so proud of him when I discovered it among his things.
I also found out at Christmas Michael would visit his friends that had kids. He would have his arms full with gifts and tell the kids he found them on the step and that Santa must have left them there.
Yet every year when I wrote Love Santa on his gifts he would tell me how silly I was and here he was being Santa.
This just reminded me how much Michael loved Christmas.
Dick, yes, I do look for things on the web about my son, Chris. He was an assistant state's attorney, so I do find articles and things about him. It helps me remember he was real, that he made a difference. I have been working on a scrapbook since his one year anniversary. I get to it when I'm up to it; otherwise, it just sits on the dining room table with photos and other things I want to include.
I think giving service to others is something that definitely helps deal with grief because it gets you out of yourself and renews a sense of purpose. Maybe Danny helped you find that info. Perhaps you might consider volunteering there to honor Danny and enrich your own spirit. I feel like our children are our teachers now.
Trying so hard to pull myself out of this horrible funk I'm in this week. I feel like my chest is going to explode. I have to find something and somehow to make a difference in this world.
Does anyone else surf the web just trying to find parts of your child's past. I do and generally find the same things, nothing new.
Well, I do. I found out Danny was a volunteer at the Center for Hearing and Speech in 2009 - 2010. He never told me. Makes me sad and happy at the same time. Why was such a soul taken?
FYI, Compassionate Friends will have their candle lighting ceremony Sunday, December 14, 2014 at 7:00 PM. The ceremony is for the children we have lost. I hope you can find a location close to you and attend, you will not be disappointed. I light a candle for Danny and my mother one for my niece.
DICK talk to whoever set up the adoption... maybe your circumstances will touch someone and they will talk to the parents who adopted the child and they will allow contact... I have adopted three children and I would gladly share them with any parent that was sincere and trustworthy... I would be careful of course, but not hard hearted enough to deny one of them contact especially in a situation like yours... worth a try maybe?
DICK shortly before we went to the beach where Brandon died a few days later I told my husband I was for some reason afraid to go that year... I didn't know why... the morning Brandon died I for some reason I reacted to his being sleepy [not unusual for him when we were at the beach and spending long days in the water and sun] ... I asked my husband to check him and make sure he was OK and for reasons that shocked me when I said it I asked him 'he isn't dead is he?' I don't know why I said those words... he came back and said he was just sleepy and he had turned him on his side and put music on his iPad and he said Brandon opened his eyes, looked at the iPad, smiled, closed his eyes and 'went back to sleep'.... a few minutes later I went to check again and he was dead... nothing brought him back.. we did CPR, the paramedics did CPR gave him epi or whatever.. nothing.... when I looked at him when I went back into the room and touched him I KNEW he wasn't there anymore... to this day the shock of it all makes me physically sick and overcome with the most horrible chills right down to my soul...
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