May 2012 Blog Posts (35)

More difficult times...

In less than twelve months I have lost my mother, grandfather, performed cpr on a friend's father who died in my hands. I recently graduated the police academy and was looking forward to rejoining my wife in Denton where we had decided to make a new start. I was greeted with her request for a divorce. Now I find myself almost back where I started with this whole process. People tell me to get back out there and do things and that things could always be worse but I dread to think what else…

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Added by Adam Carr on May 21, 2012 at 4:33pm — 1 Comment

Beginning here...

I don't really know where to head from here or if this will work for me. But I have to try. The loss of my Mother becomes so grate that weather i'm just relaxing or at work I drift back to it. I really don't know what triggers it but I drift back....to when she was alive and I had to take care of her. The Cancer ate away at her so quickly this time...I felt like when she wasn't sleeping she was always in pain. We had to give her medication every couple of hours...We would sometimes even have…

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Added by Jean Lee DiVozzi on May 20, 2012 at 7:53pm — 4 Comments

Not Perfect

I wish I could claim perfection. The love of my life wasn't perfect - and neither was I. As I close in on 6 months without him, I keep dealing with his legacy of imperfect people. I hate it. Imperfect people come at me each day - needing things - and I come up empty. Maybe I can help - and maybe I can't. 

With him, I was the strong one. In many places in my life, I had to be the strong one. I'm not feeling very strong now. I keep hoping and praying I can just be - and not have…

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Added by Kathy S McBee on May 19, 2012 at 10:07pm — No Comments

First Share

It is so hard to begin. Grief it seems is taking over my life. I have been holding my breath unconsciously for four years now. I don't want to give in to the grief for fear if I do it will all be true and I will disappear. Four years ago my younger sister died quite suddenly. She was 10 years younger then me, and we were estranged 14 months at the time, for a misunderstanding that never got resolved. I had therapy and was making some progress when my mother died two years later. Eight months…

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Added by Karren Kearney on May 19, 2012 at 1:59pm — No Comments

Thank you.

I joined this page not too long ago as a saving grace to my broken heart and it was exactly that. I met some amazing ppl that prove I was not going through this alone and that every emotion I was feeling didn't make me weak or evil or crazy. I still miss him every second of the day, but for now daily life has kept me extremely busy. My 8-5 job has picked up again and so has my photography so…

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Added by Kiley on May 14, 2012 at 9:30pm — No Comments

Edit your Photos with Aviary

Aviary allows you to edit and customize photos on the fly. You can edit photos right on the network without having to save and re-upload them!



You can edit an image by opening the image detail page. Hover your mouse over the image and you should see a "Photo Stickers & Effects" bar. Clicking on the text on the right side will open the Aviary Image editor. You can also use the Options drop-down menu: just click the "Photo Stickers & Effects" link.

Once Aviary is…

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Added by Diana, Grief Recovery Coach on May 12, 2012 at 3:18pm — No Comments

The Gate to Tomarrow

I found him dead a week ago.  Seven days, sometime between midnight and 3 am.  He died, slipped away, passed into rest, but left me here.  How can a parent slip out so quietly?

 

The death of Dad was a stunner.  How can that poor body hold so immense a thing as death?  And now, I'm supposed to let go of him?  How?

 

No friends, or family had any reason to suspect he would leave so unexpectedly.  Its true he was 71, but thats not so old today.  I know he had…

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Added by Marty C. on May 11, 2012 at 10:30pm — No Comments

Things we should have had...

We should have had a house filled with pictures of us.

We should have had more laughter.

We should have had more smiles.

We should have had more days.

We should have had more special times together.

We should have had more together.

Added by Kim on May 11, 2012 at 8:02pm — No Comments

Advanced Search Feature

Use Advanced Search to Find Members

You can find members using regular search, or you can drill down to more specific queries with Advanced Search. Head to the Members tab and enter something into the text box to do a simple search. If you click the "Advanced Search" link, you'll be taken to a page listing any of the Ning…

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Added by Diana, Grief Recovery Coach on May 11, 2012 at 12:33pm — No Comments

Nearly 2 years my life ended...

Hi, my name is robin. I'm new here and don't exactly know what I am doing but I need some help. Coming up in about 2 months is the 2 year anniversary of my dad' death. I feel like have been handling it ok but I am realizing recently that I am extremely angry and depressed and medication doesn't help. I hate talking about my feelings, especially to my family. I had a really bad experience with therapy years ago and refuse to try that. But, I realize now that I need someone, or somebody, or… Continue

Added by Robin on May 11, 2012 at 12:30pm — 1 Comment

Time of Events. .

I want to keep track of what transpired over the last 6 weeks, so that I don't forget any of it.

 

April 2, 2012.. Mom goes into the hospital, the ER infact and waits until 9 pm to be admitted. Around 11pm the Doctor comes into her room and tells her, myself and my step dad she has a purforrated bowel and needed emergency surgery.

 

April 3, 2012. . Just after midnight, mum has emergency surgery. . She'd have a colstomy bag the rest of her life. Around 3:30 I go…

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Added by Kelly Marshall on May 10, 2012 at 5:59pm — 1 Comment

Dream often....Dream away..

One year and one month since my wife Jami passed. I can remember for about 9 months how I looked forward to nightime and going to sleep. At first it was the exhaustion from grief, but it changed to the desire to dream. Was never afraid of bad dreams. Even now the desire to dream is still there. We dream even when we're awake! Imagine that! Call it day dreaming if you want. The amazing thing is the dreams of both my wife Jami and my Mom have helped me to heal. So much is yet to be learned about… Continue

Added by MIchael A Ballard on May 9, 2012 at 12:19am — No Comments

Full of sorrow

On April 27th 2012 I lost my Boyfriend/Fiance of 7 years.  I found him dead on his boat.  I have never felt such pain in my life. I felt as if the ground was pulled from under me and as if my heart has been ripped out.  I never knew such pain and sorrow existed.  He was the one man that truly got me and with whom I could be my true self with.  He loved me so much and this made me feel so special.  Everyday is a struggle. One of the worst things is not being able to pick up the phone and call…

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Added by renee collier on May 8, 2012 at 1:02am — 2 Comments

delayed grief

I lost my husband 16 months ago. I have now come to realise that I never grieved our mourned for him. I knew he was going to die early, from the time we met, as he was chronically ill, and I had convinced myself that I was prepared to deal with the loss. We have a 6 year old daughter, who is the love of my life. In knowing he was going to die, I moved away from him, for the last 6 months. I put this decision down to survival. I thought being settled in a new (tiny) town, and establishing…

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Added by Kathy Josephine on May 4, 2012 at 10:25pm — No Comments

Life is starting to get a little better...

Back on April 6th (Good Friday) I lost my brother to liver failure.  My family has been dealing with his struggle for several years.  The last 6 months he really started to go downhill and his health just sunk.  He was on Hospice and I had time off from work so I was able to help care for him the last month of his life.  It was very painful to see his health fail but certainly was glad to be able to care for him.  This event was the hardest thing I have ever had to go through.  It was so…

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Added by Collin Bentley on May 4, 2012 at 11:52am — 2 Comments

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