Kathy S McBee
  • Female
  • Canton, OH
  • United States
Share on Facebook
Share

Kathy S McBee's Friends

  • Erica  Garcia SanMiguel
  • gina cestodio
  • Ruth

Gifts Received

Gift

Kathy S McBee has not received any gifts yet

Give a Gift

 

Kathy S McBee's Page

Latest Activity

Kathy S McBee replied to adriana gonzalez's discussion Missing my husband
"Today is my 5th anniversary of meeting my husband. He left me on December 23. I can relate to you. We didn't have a perfect relationship . . . and we still knew, beginning to end, that we loved each other. I hate being here without him. Even…"
Sep 29, 2012
Kathy S McBee replied to Becky H's discussion Having a stupid day
"This isn't a stupid day. A stupid day is thinking you - and those you love - will always be there. (In other words, a 'normal' day.) We don't last forever. In time, the physical symptoms will probably pass (getting a check-up by…"
Sep 29, 2012
Kathy S McBee replied to Grier's discussion Going through stages of grieving
"Oh, hon, I can feel you. There are many times I wish I still had my career to throw myself into. It's good that you're letting those spurts of crying come through. That's part of the process. Life won't stop and wait for you to…"
Sep 29, 2012
Kathy S McBee posted a blog post

We met 5 years ago today

It was just 5 years ago, today, that we met. I was 50 years old back then. Now, it's been 9 months since I lost him. A refrain keeps running through my head: I got cheated.I understand what stood in the way . . . at least, as much as I can. God's heard me gripe about it and, still, I recognize some of the factors that came into play and I don't blame God. In some ways, that stinks. I wish I had some 'bad guy' to point a finger at. Unfortunately, it just is what it is.Since I've been here, I've…See More
Sep 29, 2012
steacy del valle left a comment for Kathy S McBee
"thank you for your comment and im so sorry for your losses. i dont find it disrespectful at all its just i feel like me and my husband are in different worlds at the moment i feel like he rejects me all the time. sometimes i just feel like he doesnt…"
Aug 6, 2012
Kathy S McBee posted a blog post

Storm rolling in

I suppose this will be a quick update - I hear thunder and know a storm is coming in. It's a good thing, I suppose, with the drought we've been having.After seven months, I still find this grief too hard. Last night, I awoke to a nightmare about Hollister and his past. Whatever that was, it stood between us for many years when we could have been together and I'm angry and sad about that. Four years (and a little change) isn't much to spend with 'the one.'Lately, I've been trying to face up to…See More
Jul 26, 2012
Kathy S McBee commented on steacy del valle's blog post baby coming soon
"Oh, Steacy. So much is happening in such a short time, isn't it? I lost my mom March 2010, Dad in November 2011, and my hubby in December 2011. I know how you feel - it's overwhelming. Maybe you could take a word from me - no disrespect?…"
Jul 26, 2012
Kathy S McBee commented on Mara's blog post Starting to grieve, but not able to let go
"I keep thinking it's all in its own time. I lost my love in December and I was again dealing with tears today. I know he wants me to go on - and I am, as much as I can. Grief grabs me, at times, and I just try to deal with it. Be kind to…"
Jul 5, 2012
anna l. commented on Kathy S McBee's blog post Overdue Update
"Im sorry you lost so much in such a short time.  You did well to part with some of Hollisters stuff.  It will be a year next week since Tom passed.  I have sorted and stored alot of his things but gotten rid of very little. …"
Jun 21, 2012
David H commented on Kathy S McBee's blog post Overdue Update
"I have simliar experiences.I preserve my wifes legacy thru saving of some dresses and shoes.There are some things Ill change I figure its part of the grieving process or something like that,I get blind sided.Its awful I started writing down…"
Jun 20, 2012
Kathy S McBee posted a blog post

Overdue Update

I thought I was finally starting to come around again. I guess I was - and I guess I am - and yet grief pops up and blindsides us from time to time, doesn't it?A couple of Hollister's friends have been helping me with things I can't do around the house. They're challenging friends, these 'bequests' of his. Both are dirt poor and have drug histories (one probably is still using; the other, well, the jury's still out). Right now, I'm coming up on a trip to my Dad's to help with settling his…See More
Jun 20, 2012
Kathy S McBee posted a photo

flight over lily pads

Spent some time yesterday where Hollister and I would slip away to fish - and took the camera that was his last present to me.
May 31, 2012
Kathy S McBee posted a photo

Kenny USMC

My Uncle Kenny, who was lost at Guadalcanal in 1942 - 70 years later, has not been recovered.
May 28, 2012
Kathy S McBee posted a blog post

Not Perfect

I wish I could claim perfection. The love of my life wasn't perfect - and neither was I. As I close in on 6 months without him, I keep dealing with his legacy of imperfect people. I hate it. Imperfect people come at me each day - needing things - and I come up empty. Maybe I can help - and maybe I can't. With him, I was the strong one. In many places in my life, I had to be the strong one. I'm not feeling very strong now. I keep hoping and praying I can just be - and not have to be strong.See More
May 19, 2012
Kathy S McBee posted a photo
May 16, 2012
Kathy S McBee posted a status
"Just got back from hospital - went in Wednesday. Sure hit me when I realized both my emergency contacts passed on."
May 5, 2012

Profile Information

About Me:
I'm in my 50's, on disability due to Lupus, Fibromyalgia, Chronic Pericarditis. After 20 years as a professional, adjusting to not being able to work was a trip; now the losses, too.
About my Loss:
mother died from malignant brain tumor 3/2010
father died from pancreatic cancer 11/2011
husband died from lung cancer 12/2011

Kathy S McBee's Photos

Loading…
  • Add Photos
  • View All

Kathy S McBee's Blog

We met 5 years ago today

It was just 5 years ago, today, that we met. I was 50 years old back then. Now, it's been 9 months since I lost him. A refrain keeps running through my head: I got cheated.

I understand what stood in the way . . . at least, as much as I can. God's heard me gripe about it and, still, I recognize some of the factors that came into play and I don't blame God. In some ways, that stinks. I wish I had some 'bad guy' to point a finger at. Unfortunately, it just is what it…

Continue

Posted on September 29, 2012 at 8:19pm

Storm rolling in

I suppose this will be a quick update - I hear thunder and know a storm is coming in. It's a good thing, I suppose, with the drought we've been having.



After seven months, I still find this grief too hard. Last night, I awoke to a nightmare about Hollister and his past. Whatever that was, it stood between us for many years when we could have been together and I'm angry and sad about that. Four years (and a little change) isn't much to spend with 'the one.'



Lately, I've… Continue

Posted on July 26, 2012 at 10:00pm

Overdue Update

I thought I was finally starting to come around again. I guess I was - and I guess I am - and yet grief pops up and blindsides us from time to time, doesn't it?

A couple of Hollister's friends have been helping me with things I can't do around the house. They're challenging friends, these 'bequests' of his. Both are dirt poor and have drug histories (one probably is still using; the other, well, the jury's still out). Right now, I'm coming up on a trip to my Dad's to help with…

Continue

Posted on June 20, 2012 at 10:13pm — 2 Comments

Not Perfect

I wish I could claim perfection. The love of my life wasn't perfect - and neither was I. As I close in on 6 months without him, I keep dealing with his legacy of imperfect people. I hate it. Imperfect people come at me each day - needing things - and I come up empty. Maybe I can help - and maybe I can't. 

With him, I was the strong one. In many places in my life, I had to be the strong one. I'm not feeling very strong now. I keep hoping and praying I can just be - and not have…

Continue

Posted on May 19, 2012 at 10:07pm

Comment Wall (5 comments)

You need to be a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community to add comments!

Join Online Grief Support - A Social Community

At 7:25am on August 6, 2012, steacy del valle said…

thank you for your comment and im so sorry for your losses. i dont find it disrespectful at all its just i feel like me and my husband are in different worlds at the moment i feel like he rejects me all the time. sometimes i just feel like he doesnt want to be with me anymore and when i ask him he gives me stupid responces like i wouldnt be here right. he doesnt know how to comfort me even when itell him how it just been a few rough years. and i think he believes this child i carry isnt his because he has told me it before so how can i be ok with someone who thinks so bad of me

At 12:07am on April 3, 2012, Mark said…

You know, it's so true.  I can't imagine any different journey then what we traveled together.  We talked about it often.  There is a chance I would have went my own way as most do.  I said at her funeral that for all the challenges the gift we got was our unique relationship and my challenge to every parent present was to go home and see if it's possible to foster that type of relationship with their children.  Who knows, we may have been the lucky ones :)

At 11:10am on March 13, 2012, gina cestodio said…
Hi Kathy,
You have had such tremendous loss .  I lost my mom 2 weeks ago and finding life so difficult .  My mom died  of small cell lung cancer.  I miss her so much.  If we can help one another that would be good for us.  Trying to reach out to others going thru the same thing.  
Gina
At 10:56pm on February 22, 2012, Amanda Ab said…

Hi Kathy,

Thank you for your reply. Sorry for your losses. I read your story and thank you for sharing. It will soon be 10 months of my husban's passing and I still find myself today, not accepting this new life.

hugs,

amanda

At 4:28pm on February 22, 2012, BeccA said…

Kathy

So sorry for all your losses.  You've certainly had some horrible times the past few years. I hope that as you share and become friends on this site, it will help you cope and steer you through your grief.  (((huggs)))

Becca

 
 
 

Latest Activity

KIM Montgomery replied to KIM Montgomery's discussion Missing my Best Friend in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Yes, that is exactly how I feel."
10 minutes ago
KIM Montgomery replied to KIM Montgomery's discussion Missing my Best Friend in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Went to the 2nd session of support group.  Grief is grief and hurts no matter what the loss.  It hurts, you feel alone.  I have learned one thing from group is we are not alone. There are 2 different groups those that are…"
11 minutes ago
Jean replied to Darlene's discussion My grief has made me feel numb from the neck down, has anyone else felt this?
"I had that feeling when my nephew called me and told me his brother had killed himself one year after my brother (their father) died. It was a weird sensation I have never felt before. From the top of my head all the way to my feet just a rush of ?…"
9 hours ago
Nora replied to KIM Montgomery's discussion Missing my Best Friend in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Kim, ladies, I just found some thought that actually explains how I feel now: Sounds familiar? Grieving and trying to be nice, crying and smiling to look nice next minute... It is a great movie anyway - watch when you can."
yesterday
Nora replied to KIM Montgomery's discussion Missing my Best Friend in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Thank you, Jackie. Those horrible panic attacks just visit us often. Suddenly the whole world is turning black and no oxygen anymore. Jackie, I accept you as acting Steve - I hope he does not mind - and I really appreciate your support - I know you…"
yesterday
AnneJ replied to KIM Montgomery's discussion Missing my Best Friend in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi, Kim. Please don't feel sorry about discussing different topics; it's how our minds work and your words are a comfort to so many. Just knowing someone feels the same, hurts the same, has the same inner voice... the empty bed, the…"
yesterday
KIM Montgomery replied to KIM Montgomery's discussion Missing my Best Friend in the group Lost My Spouse...
"I try not come on here in the early morning as I start work early so I can go home early.  That was my routine.  We would get up in the morning, have a cup of coffee and I would go off to work.  I looked forward to going home a little…"
yesterday
Jackie cooke replied to KIM Montgomery's discussion Missing my Best Friend in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Nora, you are a beautiful women with a beautiful heart. Steve loved you very much but remember you were a success before you met him and not because of him. We need to give ourselves time to grieve it's only been 3 months, who knows if we will…"
Tuesday
Nora posted a status
"Hi, Pumpkin! 3 months without you today. Started looking for a job. I know you are proud of me now. But it is so hard without you. Love""
Tuesday
Nora replied to KIM Montgomery's discussion Missing my Best Friend in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Ladies, I just had one more pain caused by simple actions that I even did not pay attention to before. Well, I sat to start looking for a job. It was already hard as I have a "meeting people & leaving the house" anxiety. Also, it…"
Tuesday
Jennifer B posted a photo
Tuesday
Lost with out him replied to KIM Montgomery's discussion Missing my Best Friend in the group Lost My Spouse...
"I too feel exactly as everyone here has discribed it. Four months in.. Lost the love of my life. I feeling like the walking dead.. I function because I am expected to. I go to work because I haven't any choice. I have to sell my house.( for…"
Tuesday
Bethany posted a blog post

One down...

Having a glass of wine for my mom tonight and trying to wrap my head around the fact that she's been gone for a year. A whole year. A year without daily emails just so I'd wake up to an email every morning. A year without daily Skype chats just to catch up even though nothing much ever changed. A year without an e-card for every random holiday. A year without hearing about the dumb things my dad was or wasn't doing. A year without my best friend. A year without my mom.See More
Monday
gregory harvey posted a blog post

National TV show wants to help unsolved cold cases

I am the producer of a nationally televised crime docu-series. I am currently developing a new series focusing on unsolved cold cases, where the perpetrator is known but remains uncharged, many times because they are already in prison for life for another crime. That should not deter anyone else from getting justice. We will bring in outside, independent cold case detectives to rework cases to see if we can help. The series will underscore the hope, strength and tenacity of the families and…See More
Monday
morgan replied to KIM Montgomery's discussion Missing my Best Friend in the group Lost My Spouse...
"I really hate to reply to this thread as I am four years and almost five months into the loss of the love of my life and I can hardly stand the roller coaster I am on.  I am careening off the tracks "again" and I come here to reassure…"
Monday
KIM Montgomery replied to KIM Montgomery's discussion Missing my Best Friend in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Thank you all for the kind support here.  It does help.  I too feel lost at time.  This morning I was up at 3:30 watching TV; my alarm goes off at 4:45, no sense in trying to go back to sleep.  Like some one else said on here, my…"
Monday
Jackie cooke replied to KIM Montgomery's discussion Missing my Best Friend in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Kim, your not alone, as Nora's says every word you say matches how I feel. I have lost my best friend, soul mate, partner, my lover. Now I'm alone with my dog and cat. OVer 70 people and the funeral but none of them ring or call. People…"
Monday
Nora replied to KIM Montgomery's discussion Missing my Best Friend in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Kim, If I could I would just copy each word of yours and paste it here. I am exactly in the same boat. I know how you fell and what is going on with you. I will have 3 months tomorrow and today is 13 weeks since my Steve just gone, disappeared into…"
Monday
KIM Montgomery added a discussion to the group Lost My Spouse...
Thumbnail

Missing my Best Friend

Again, I am missing my best friend tomorrow will be 7 weeks.  I went back to work last week and it helped some.   Getting into a routine helped.  The issue I have is when I get home he is not there.  That was our time together. Yesterday being father's day the adult kids were lost as was I. My son lives close by and my daughter is 300 miles away.  I was alone without the kids, just my 2 little dogs.  I am so thankful for them.They say go back to work it will help, they say it has been 6 weeks…See More
Monday
Mike H. posted a blog post

Mourning by Definition

MourningThe outward expression of grief over a death or some other calamity. In Bible times, it was customary to mourn for a period of time. In addition to weeping loudly, mourners wore special clothes, put ashes on their head, ripped their garments, and beat their chest. Professional mourners were sometimes invited to funerals.—Ge 23:2;…See More
Monday

© 2017   Created by Diana, Grief Counselor.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service