Elynn m
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Lonely
5 Replies

Does anyone else feel abandoned by friends?  Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by dream moon JO B Apr 12.

Lonely
6 Replies

I have been feeling very lonely and very depressed lately.  Old friends are busy with their lives.  Even my children are busy.   My daughter lives 45 minutes away.   She is busy with her new house. …Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by Virginia G Oct 8, 2018.

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dream moon JO B replied to Elynn m's discussion Lonely
"all i  no u soon lern ab all i no all i no is u soon leann abot famlyy frinds it tims u need thm u do u do frindss u thrtt wz frindss  cross st to avoidd u famllyy ingnorin u lk u hav a deddlyy deaseiss thy do not so long go i spook to sum…"
Apr 12
M Adams and Elynn m are now friends
Mar 28
Elynn m commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Have been reading comments from the past few days.   Yes, grief is lonely.   I'm so thankful for this group.  Like Joe says, it's really difficult not having our better half here physically, just to appreciate…"
Mar 16
morgan replied to Elynn m's discussion Lonely
"Elynn, I feel abandoned by everything and everybody. Period. Even with the people who try to console me. Its just not enough.   I cant seem to feel that this life is worth living for any length of time.    I go in and out of feeling…"
Mar 7
dream moon JO B replied to Elynn m's discussion Lonely
"yes/no on/off i do evn had frinds cross st in 2012 not speak  2me in 2012  i thrt i did thngs wong i still do  on off its frinds it do not get loss coz thy not had loss do not get it if its frinds its had a loss it go way wen u need…"
Mar 7
Elynn m posted a discussion

Lonely

Does anyone else feel abandoned by friends?  See More
Mar 7
Elynn m posted a status
"It doesn't make any sense to call old friends when they don't bother to call. It's too hurtful. I can only take so much!!."
Mar 7
Elynn m posted a status
"I'm lonely again. Spent 3 weeks at my sisters house. Home now. Without Joe. Where r my friends? I give up trying to talk to them."
Mar 7
Elynn m commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I miss my JOE today, as I often do.   He was always the strength of our marriage.   He was God's gift to me.   I was blessed to have Joe as "the love of my life" for 41 years, then Jesus took him…"
Feb 26
M Adams left a comment for Elynn m
"Since my husband’s death I have often found myself wanting to tell people to express their love and appreciation for the people in their lives — and although I know that could be rather annoying, sometimes I do tell them, because like…"
Feb 8
Elynn m commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Thank you everyone for your response.   I'm just tired of being lonely.   I talk to Joe all of the time, and long for his voice, and wisdom.   I feel so bad that I didn't tell him often enough how special he…"
Feb 4
Elynn m commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I haven't been here in awhile, but have been so lonely.. I try to talk to people  about Joe, but they don't understand.   I guess they really are afraid to ask about him. I've been really depressed lately.   …"
Feb 3
Virginia G replied to Elynn m's discussion Lonely
"It must be hard not being able to drive.  When I’m not sleeping because of the depression, I feel the need to get out of the house.  But then when I’m out I’m alone anyway and see other people with their families and that…"
Oct 8, 2018
Elynn m replied to Nicole's discussion Lost my husband the father of my kids and bestfriend . in the group Lost My Spouse...
"I'm  so sorry for your great loss.   It has been three years for me. The first year was worse.    The only way it gets easier is when we start remembering the good times.   The pain will get softer, but will always be…"
Sep 26, 2018
Douglas replied to Elynn m's discussion Lonely
"I too, have been feeling extremely lonely for the last year. I thank God for my female Black Labrador Retriever, who my Mom loved SO much! She's all I have! And all I want! :-) Yet, I feel we BOTH would benefit from being around people more. We…"
Sep 5, 2018
Elynn m commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Thank you morgan, and linda, for the information.  My sister lives near Henderson, nevada.   I might check that out.   I've looked for 55+ communities there, but not for senior apartments.   Also, morgan I…"
Aug 30, 2018

Profile Information

About Me:
Lost my husband of 41 years recently
About my Loss:
Was an unexpected loss
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No

Comment Wall (3 comments)

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At 1:08am on February 8, 2019, M Adams said…

Since my husband’s death I have often found myself wanting to tell people to express their love and appreciation for the people in their lives — and although I know that could be rather annoying, sometimes I do tell them, because like you I feel that I didn’t say and show it enough when I had the chance.  At the same time, I think that feeling like this doesn’t mean that we weren’t loving and appreciative, it’s more that when it comes to expressing your love and admiration, it is never enough.  Having these feelings of regret may even be a sign of how much you loved and valued the person you have lost ... and I think when you truly love someone, that person does know it and benefits from your lovr, however it is expressed.

At 4:39pm on December 2, 2016, kathleen akin said…

Elynn, I am big on praying too. I find that when I'm just about ready to give up and end it all, I start praying. I don't even know who I'm praying to, I just start talking. I do beg and plead. Oh boy do I!  I beg that Rocky will come see me in my dreams. It never happens, at least not the way I thought.

I don't know. I get so sad reading these posts where everyone has been years into this and yet they are still in so much pain. That is what I have to look forward to? I can't stand it.

But I keep plodding along. I go to a job I hate, but one that I need. I try to get involved in a hobby, but then drop it because it just feels stupid. I spend all my weekends alone except for my pets. No one calls, no one knows whether I'm alive or dead. So what do we do?

At 3:11pm on February 13, 2016, morgan said…

Elynn,  

I am so sorry that you are having to be here on this site because like all of us you too are searching for ways to manage the pain of what has just happened.  I lost my husband of 35 years three years ago and it is taking me along time to try and reconstruct any kind of life for myself.  I have after this long come to the conclusion that we never get over the death of our spouse.  If it was a deep connection no matter the time we spent the loss is unbearable.  All we can do is try to take tiny steps towards doing basic tasks like hygiene, eating and getting our financial affairs in some sort of order (which is a herculean task in and of itself) and let the rest of the world work itself out because we don't have the energy anymore to do much else.  

I ended up having to sell our home and relocate which was difficult although we had lived several places during our marriage  it wasn't like I was giving up a special location it was just that it meant I was packing up and moving to be alone.  It was hell.  But I could not have afforded to stay where I was.  Now I find it has nothing to do with location because all that love was inside me not outside me.  So downsizing and coming to a new place was not the pain so much as it was the emptiness of him.  

Now having had some time pass I still have really hard days.  I truly know they will never stop. But I have days thankfully where the pain of the first couple years has subsided.  It's unimaginable that a human being can live through years of the kind of pain I have been experiencing.  And I cant say I am out of the woods either.  The fog can easily descend on me and I have no control just like I had no control for the first two years.  

I don't want to make this any worse than it is I am just trying to provide a little tiny bit of perspective on what is a horrible nightmare.  That your brain will slowly, ever so slowly, find a few places where it will turn off the pain and allow you some relief.  I don't count it as recovery I just count it as the release from the ongoing pain.  Anything I can get now that allows me to function without feeling as though I am about to explode is welcome.  

41 years is a very long time to get used to another person.  No matter what the more difficult parts were (and we all had them) the loss of that individual flesh and body who held us close to them in so many ways is not soothing the brain or giving us reason to live.  Until we are given our ticket out we, each of us, bear this tremendous burden and still breathe. 

This site (and there are others, although I find this one the best for communicating between individuals) will be a lifeline that I have used to keep myself from digging too deep into the hole.  It somehow helps to know that your own misery is also someone else's.  

I hope you will find a bit of the light that you will need by walking with us and sharing your grief because we do all understand.

sending stardust.

morgan

 
 
 

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Jennifer left a comment for morgan
"Thanks Morgan for commenting on my profile page. Wow...What u described that u go through every day of every year is exactly how I feel. I lost my girlfriend/fiance of 5 years to suicide. I know without a doubt in my mind that she is my soul mate so…"
yesterday
morgan left a comment for Jennifer
"Jennifer,   If there was anything at all I could say, I would.  No one who hasn't lost the love of their life can understand the amount of pain that stays with us for a very long time.  I know at four years I was still banging…"
yesterday
maria left a comment for Michael
"sorry for your loss I lost my husband feb 2016 its been rough I was married 44yrs"
Friday
Profile IconSN, maria and Jennifer joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Friday
Linda Engberg commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"I feel it all depends on the relationship, no matter if man or woman."
Thursday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi All,  Hows everybody doing? Theressa, Brett, Adams, Virginia?"
Thursday
M Adams commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Have heard the same thing about men and loneliness, based on the assumption that women usually have richer and more developed social networks, a wider range of relationships, etc.  Of course this isn’t true of all women, though it seems…"
Thursday
M Adams joined Katherine Ellis's group
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Losing Someone to Cancer

This is for anyone who has lost somone to cancer. I lost my adopted Mom to breast cancer some years ago. She was everything I could have asked for. She loved me because I was just me. She also loved my family and children as if they were her own.See More
Thursday
Michael Thompson commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"In my opinion as a Widower by 4 and a half years, men find dealing with being alone and loneliness harder than woman, this is what widows I meet tell me. I strive on a daily basis to at least be less anxious, but I miss my right arm in my…"
Thursday
Karrie is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Wednesday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"This past week we lost a young man of 24 with three children, If there is a God why would he take this young man instead of me who's life is over. I really question my faith."
Tuesday
Joe Kelly commented on dream moon JO B's group why me why us
"Our suffering is unbelievable and unbearable Dream Moon.  We just jave to believe that there is an afterlife where we will be reunited with those we love.  That's all I live for now.  To die to be with my Loving wife.  I…"
Tuesday
SGO is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Monday
dream moon JO B commented on dream moon JO B's group why me why us
"wearss my mannerss gon joe sorry on yore loss 2"
Apr 14
dream moon JO B commented on dream moon JO B's group why me why us
"i no so sad joe loss dear frinedd few days go way she sufferdd coz of illness wz cruell coz she wz a veryy sweet kind lady "
Apr 14
Joe Kelly commented on dream moon JO B's group why me why us
"Why I don't know, but everyone dies someday.  There is a lot of evil in our world who do terrible things.  I'm sorry for your loss.  I too suffer the loss of my wife and afraid my daughter will die soon from cancer. …"
Apr 13
Joe Kelly joined dream moon JO B's group
Apr 13
dream moon JO B commented on dream moon JO B's group why me why us
"stilllasky why  moree loss siness i postedd on hear"
Apr 13
dream moon JO B commented on Anna-Marie's blog post When does the crying stop.
"it can go on/off for yrs it can  do not t not let no 1 tell u way u shud feal or mkee u feal baf bad for grieff or los loss  lst 7 yrs iv go thruu a multii loss of pepplee  evn a cat i had for 16/17 yrss i loss 2  peplee say or…"
Apr 12
dream moon JO B posted a blog post

why do god let wong 1s die or sufferrr

i no iv askt stuff on off l hav for 7 yrs on hear on off sineses iv bean hearwhy duzegot let gooodd gud pepplee suffrwen u get bad pepplee it kill or hyrtt hurtt not suffr 1 bit in lifee suffrr gud peepplee i no suffr coz of god i ask why]wen bad pepllee do bad stuff lk kill rapee  molestr  peppllee go free not be punchessd ty do not i get mad wen i hear kids died peplee it do no harmm 2 no 1 die bad detahtss deathss y thy doSee More
Apr 12

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