"Morgan, yes. It is very difficult. Do you have family near you? Thank God for your neighbor who was kind enough to visit you in your time of need. One thing I've learned through this experience is that when I feel…"
"Rose, I'm sorry for your loss. I was married for 41 years ....always hoped to reach our 50th, but never did. Joe has been gone since september, 2015....seems like yesterday. That's great that you have…"
I'm so sorry. Your husband was so young. It is very hard to imagine life without our precious husbands. We can help each other here. I am very grateful for this site. I am free to express my feelings, because I…"
"I'm so sorry for your sudden loss. That has to be the worst type of loss.....most unexpected. I lost my husband unexpectedly, but he was at the emergency room at the hospital. We did lose our son unexpectedly at home. (From a…"
"My friend just lost her husband before Thanksgiving. I'm trying to reach out to her, because I know how she feels, but she does not seem to want to respond. She's keeping very busy! I feel bad for her, but I guess…"
"This is my third Christmas without Joe. I miss him more each year. I realize how precious he was. Wish he could be here at least a few hours each day with me ! (Physically, so I can hold him agsin). "
"Feeling lonely today. I get really upset because friends haven't been in contact. I keep telling myself that they have their own lives, but I am not accepting that at this time! Is that selfish? I miss Joe so much. He was my best friend here on…"
"Jennifer, there is really nothing you can do about family and friends who say they know what you are going through. We both know that they can't possibly feel what we feel until it happens. I just remind them to tell each other…"
"I do agree, Trials do not come from God. That does not mean we won't have trials.
I agree with James 1:13 and 1corinthians :10:13
Jesus helps me adjust my views. As most of us know, when I am weak, then He is strong (2corinthians…"
"Well-meaning people may say, “Jesus took your loved one away,” but that can cause people – especially children – to be angry at God. 1 Corinthians 15:26 says death is our last enemy. Therefore, we can say, “Death took…"
"Just a few thoughts regarding faith; Ecclesiastes 3:1,4 says “To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven: a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance.
That doesn't mean that we…"
"Kim, I can see why you miss him so much. He was a wonderful man who touched a lot of lives, that's how my husband, Joe, was. Everywhere he went he touched someone's life. He had a gift of encouragement, and made strangers feel like they…"
Elynn, I am big on praying too. I find that when I'm just about ready to give up and end it all, I start praying. I don't even know who I'm praying to, I just start talking. I do beg and plead. Oh boy do I! I beg that Rocky will come see me in my dreams. It never happens, at least not the way I thought.
I don't know. I get so sad reading these posts where everyone has been years into this and yet they are still in so much pain. That is what I have to look forward to? I can't stand it.
But I keep plodding along. I go to a job I hate, but one that I need. I try to get involved in a hobby, but then drop it because it just feels stupid. I spend all my weekends alone except for my pets. No one calls, no one knows whether I'm alive or dead. So what do we do?
I am so sorry that you are having to be here on this site because like all of us you too are searching for ways to manage the pain of what has just happened. I lost my husband of 35 years three years ago and it is taking me along time to try and reconstruct any kind of life for myself. I have after this long come to the conclusion that we never get over the death of our spouse. If it was a deep connection no matter the time we spent the loss is unbearable. All we can do is try to take tiny steps towards doing basic tasks like hygiene, eating and getting our financial affairs in some sort of order (which is a herculean task in and of itself) and let the rest of the world work itself out because we don't have the energy anymore to do much else.
I ended up having to sell our home and relocate which was difficult although we had lived several places during our marriage it wasn't like I was giving up a special location it was just that it meant I was packing up and moving to be alone. It was hell. But I could not have afforded to stay where I was. Now I find it has nothing to do with location because all that love was inside me not outside me. So downsizing and coming to a new place was not the pain so much as it was the emptiness of him.
Now having had some time pass I still have really hard days. I truly know they will never stop. But I have days thankfully where the pain of the first couple years has subsided. It's unimaginable that a human being can live through years of the kind of pain I have been experiencing. And I cant say I am out of the woods either. The fog can easily descend on me and I have no control just like I had no control for the first two years.
I don't want to make this any worse than it is I am just trying to provide a little tiny bit of perspective on what is a horrible nightmare. That your brain will slowly, ever so slowly, find a few places where it will turn off the pain and allow you some relief. I don't count it as recovery I just count it as the release from the ongoing pain. Anything I can get now that allows me to function without feeling as though I am about to explode is welcome.
41 years is a very long time to get used to another person. No matter what the more difficult parts were (and we all had them) the loss of that individual flesh and body who held us close to them in so many ways is not soothing the brain or giving us reason to live. Until we are given our ticket out we, each of us, bear this tremendous burden and still breathe.
This site (and there are others, although I find this one the best for communicating between individuals) will be a lifeline that I have used to keep myself from digging too deep into the hole. It somehow helps to know that your own misery is also someone else's.
I hope you will find a bit of the light that you will need by walking with us and sharing your grief because we do all understand.
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Welcome to Online Grief Support - A Social Community
"Hello Krista,I'm afraid this forum isn't as active as some of us would like. I remember when I first came out here two years ago, raw with emotion. I still have times when I find myself still grieving, although it isn't as painful now…"
"When the stars
shine up in the sky,
I miss you.
When the sun rises
& sets every day,
I miss you.
When the rain falls
and everything looks
bright and beautiful,
I miss you.
Every day, every hour,
in every way,
in everything I do,
I miss you."
"Theresa, I finally came to the realization that what I was doing wasn't working for me. And I realized that taking an anti-depressant couldn't be any worse than crying all of the time, not sleeping, and destroying myself with guilt and…"
It's been 2 years and 2 months since I lost my dad, and 1 year and 3 months since u lost my grandmother. Sometimes I feel like they were never here, like this is normal life without them. Then I have moments when I want to curl up in a ball and just cry because it hurts so much to miss them. I try to remember the good moments but all I can think about is the last days.The other day I was at the hospital with a friend and when we walked in I saw my dad, like I was shook this older women was…See More
"Ok so my friend had to do the unthinkable, her dog is not suffering anymore. But it just set off a crying spell with me.
Maybe I need to go to the dr again, for the 10th time.
So he can just look at me and say, do you want to try and…"
I hope your Dad is doing well. That must have been hard on you being in the hospital. I am also sorry you are having more guilt like me. It’s a horrible feeling. Also one that others don’t understand."
Im sorry for your loss no matter how long ago it is.
i can only imagine the pain and emotions you are still going though.
for me it was taking care of the kids and finding one thing to achieve (no matter how small) helped a lot. it was as small…"
Hope every one is doing fine. Last week my father got an infection and was hospitalized so could not follow much here. Now he is better and recovering.
Virginia, you seem to be totally engrossed in the guilt which I can…"
"So the dr talked to my therapist and he told her the same things he told me. I had asked her to try to get more answers. I actually feel worse because I had someone ask some doctors about using ventilators. The oncologist told us…"