"its been 2 years and a bit but so hard to take steps forward. i have managed somehow with a lot of problems but that special bond...taking it month t month even noow so bless you all. it never goes away but the pan had taken its own path"
"charity wolf and others no the pain does not go away ever ever. i have bee in touch with martha since 2 years and waht she says is one way to look at it ie we may need to conduct ourselves and take the steps until God calls. The first few…"
"Ya its been two years for me and the pain is very much there and i am so nervous as i try and avoid big decisions until i feel ready to take them as i did everything after taking a perspective from my parent. Have had to make one big one but…"
"good to see martha here after a while. As for the grief it is going to be there and i am trying to live with it. i have done some things to keep myself sane but l tell you its been two years now and regularly engage in a dialogue as i know we…"
Are you a math major? I noticed a couple comments with math references (infinite numbers between zero and one, and another regarding your math prof).
The reason I ask is that my son is a math major (along with computer engineering). Math is his one true love. He will be a senior at university this year then going on to his phd in mathematics. His focus will be a very specific area of number theory.
You don't run in to high level mathematicians every day, so I thought I'd ask.
I hope you are getting through the day okay today. Losing my mother has been devastating for both me and my son. My son deals with it by throwing himself into his research. I just take it day by day.
Hi,Danny ,sorry about your loss.It was my mom's 1st death anniversary on 2nd March.You are right, there will be no history of the month in the previous year.It shatters me to realize this.What do I do now?
Thank you for your comment and concern Danny. Yes, it has been very difficult to digest this loss, but moving back to the old neighborhood? I have more friends now Here than I ever did back in the "old neighborhood". I have more support, I now have a church family, the grief support group family, and I've bonded with many of my neighbors here more so than before. It's been a year of firsts....first time his birthday passed without him in April, first time my birthday passed without him, all the activities we used to do yearly like going to fairs and festivals and theme parks and the beach trips. Dreading the holidays, but that's what my new group is helping with. New Year's Eve will be the worst, because that was our Anniversary. So far I've learned to make my own new traditions, my sister is treating me to a Carnival Cruise Thanksgiving week (next week!), and will be with me for 3 weeks during Christmas and New Year's. 2 years ago he gave me an exclusive oil portrait of Princess Merida...he said it was to "make me Brave". I had no idea how Brave I would have to be. God is telling me he wants me to be happy and live my life. It's not easy, certainly not pleasant, but I'm getting through it. Nothing worthwhile is easy, and none of us is promised a Tomorrow. Live for today. That was my beloved's motto. I have to move on to honor his memory. There was even more sadness this September....I had to have our beloved 14-year-old dog Daisy put to sleep. Besides her illness, I truly believe she was dying of a broken heart because Daddy never came home again (and she was a Daddy's girl.) I just hope 2015 is a better year. For all of us in this grief community....I wish everyone Peace in your heart.
Thanks Danny for adding me as a friend. You are right the cycle of good and bad days will probably continue. Think the trick is learning to maximize output during the good days and minimize collateral damage during the bad ones.
Danny, Thank you. I'm so sorry for your loss. That anchor and unconditional support is alot to lose. How is it possible for us to recover from all this? My heart aches to know how many out there hurt as much as I do. And I would never wish this kind of pain on anyone. I'm so fortunate to have stumbled upon this site. Otherwise, I don't know what I would have done by now. I send you tight hugs from across the world.
Our group is run through Kaiser and we meet every week. It helps. I am actually thinking about individual counseling as well. Today was a really rough day. I do know I have to come to work. Working from home I just want to…"
I have been thinking about you and getting a job. How is that going? I think I remember you saying that you had to leave your job because they did not give you enough time off when your husband died? Of course I do not want to over step…"
How often do you have meetings?
I found a group but they only meet eery 3 weeks. I am not sure yet.
Thank you for sharing your daughter's experience. Steve's daughter was really grieving at the beginning but now she only…"
"Went to the 2nd session of support group. Grief is grief and hurts no matter what the loss. It hurts, you feel alone. I have learned one thing from group is we are not alone. There are 2 different groups those that are…"
"I had that feeling when my nephew called me and told me his brother had killed himself one year after my brother (their father) died. It was a weird sensation I have never felt before. From the top of my head all the way to my feet just a rush of ?…"
I just found some thought that actually explains how I feel now:
Sounds familiar? Grieving and trying to be nice, crying and smiling to look nice next minute...
It is a great movie anyway - watch when you can."
"Thank you, Jackie.
Those horrible panic attacks just visit us often. Suddenly the whole world is turning black and no oxygen anymore.
Jackie, I accept you as acting Steve - I hope he does not mind - and I really appreciate your support - I know you…"
"Hi, Kim. Please don't feel sorry about discussing different topics; it's how our minds work and your words are a comfort to so many. Just knowing someone feels the same, hurts the same, has the same inner voice... the empty bed, the…"
"I try not come on here in the early morning as I start work early so I can go home early. That was my routine. We would get up in the morning, have a cup of coffee and I would go off to work. I looked forward to going home a little…"
"Nora, you are a beautiful women with a beautiful heart. Steve loved you very much but remember you were a success before you met him and not because of him. We need to give ourselves time to grieve it's only been 3 months, who knows if we will…"
"Ladies, I just had one more pain caused by simple actions that I even did not pay attention to before.
Well, I sat to start looking for a job. It was already hard as I have a "meeting people & leaving the house" anxiety. Also, it…"
"I too feel exactly as everyone here has discribed it. Four months in.. Lost the love of my life. I feeling like the walking dead.. I function because I am expected to. I go to work because I haven't any choice. I have to sell my house.( for…"
Having a glass of wine for my mom tonight and trying to wrap my head around the fact that she's been gone for a year. A whole year. A year without daily emails just so I'd wake up to an email every morning. A year without daily Skype chats just to catch up even though nothing much ever changed. A year without an e-card for every random holiday. A year without hearing about the dumb things my dad was or wasn't doing. A year without my best friend. A year without my mom.See More
I am the producer of a nationally televised crime docu-series. I am currently developing a new series focusing on unsolved cold cases, where the perpetrator is known but remains uncharged, many times because they are already in prison for life for another crime. That should not deter anyone else from getting justice. We will bring in outside, independent cold case detectives to rework cases to see if we can help. The series will underscore the hope, strength and tenacity of the families and…See More
"I really hate to reply to this thread as I am four years and almost five months into the loss of the love of my life and I can hardly stand the roller coaster I am on. I am careening off the tracks "again" and I come here to reassure…"
"Thank you all for the kind support here. It does help. I too feel lost at time. This morning I was up at 3:30 watching TV; my alarm goes off at 4:45, no sense in trying to go back to sleep. Like some one else said on here, my…"
"Hi Kim, your not alone, as Nora's says every word you say matches how I feel. I have lost my best friend, soul mate, partner, my lover. Now I'm alone with my dog and cat. OVer 70 people and the funeral but none of them ring or call. People…"