I love my Dad.

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Comment by Tabatha K. 7 hours ago

@Mel &@Courtney - thx for the support. It helps coming here & reading posts by you all & others. It helps to know that I am not alone!

Comment by Courtney Adams 17 hours ago

@Mel YOur such an insperation when I come and read your posts...You have made it easy on me to have the fatih I do. I know that in time things will get better.....I am so glad that your doing good...and that you are talking to your dad in your own lil way ...I have those dreams where science brings him back and he sits in the kitchen talking to me about how he worries about mom...I am the only one in my family who has dreams like that.....I have had a lot of weird things happen to me....No one else in my family has....ON the day that we buried my dad all of the kids wrote him a letter....Mine told him as long as he visited me in my dreams that I would be nice to my brother...well so far he has kept his end of the deal and I maintain mine....I am glad that you have shared you feeling MEL and so glad to have met you, and again thank you for your words and wisdom....Best wishes to you all!!!!

Comment by Mel Joyce on August 31, 2010 at 2:49am

Hey all, hope everyone is doing good. I have been doing better. I have been having surreal moments where i am talking to my dad or dreaming that we talked as we normally did, then i snap out of it and realize he is gone. Bums me out but also feels like a hug because i can feel his presence. I get a sick feeling in my stomach but not the gut wrenching kind that i use to where i felt complete anguish. It's just a longing followed by deep sighs knowing that he is not here. On the bright side, i am coping better and still have my own conversation with him and tell him that i love him and miss him so much. So to all of you out there, i pray you are strong, i pray you feel the love of your daddy and the love of friends and family who just want to lift you up in your time of need. Keep you head up and focus on what gifts, talents, stories, legacies that your dad left you and share. Definitely pass along what a great person he was and know that he is always a part of you and lives in your heart and mind forever. God bless you all and be strong in the Lord. Mel :)

Comment by Courtney Adams on August 30, 2010 at 10:48am

@Tab I know its hard but when it is time for you to, not move on, but to embrace the wisdom that your father has given you all those years....I know things will get better....for me going to church and spending time with my family is what makes me feel closer to him.....@MEL I know what you mean there are still times i sit and cry....I thought my whole life i dont want to live with regrets and now I only have one....and that is I didnt take enought pics with my dad!!!.....I see all these pictures with my family and friends and realize I dont hardly have any with him.....IDK what I could do to make myself feel better......@Carolyn I understand with your mom...She has her way of coping and you have yours....Its not that she has forgotten its just she wants that compainship and she doesnt know how to cope with your father not being there....Just take time and let her know that all you want is for her to be happy I promise that it will get better!!!......@PAT I am here if you ever need anyone!!!...Know that when it comes to coping it easier to talk to someone who doesnt know you very well and just have them listen to your problems.....ALSO @ CAROLYN ADD IF YOU WANT tinker4pinker for yahoo and we can talk if you need someone to talk to....LOVE YOU ALL and GOD BLESS!!!....Courtney

Comment by Patricia Melton on August 20, 2010 at 11:00am

Dad died 4 months ago today. I still miss him as much today if not more than the day he died. I know he's in a better place. He's not suffering and he's finally warm. He was always cold especially after his cancer was discovered. I know people mean well when they tell me he's in a better place. I just hate hearing it. I know also that I wouldn't want him to still be here suffering but that doesn't make me not miss him so much it hurts me to the core. I know he will always be with me especially in my heart. It just still hurts even though I know all these things. Quite a few people at our church have told me they are proud of how I am coping. But they don't see me in my private moments. They wouldn't be so proud then. All of you here know exactly what I am talking about and I am so very glad I can put my comments here and all of you will understand me and pray for me. As I do you. Thanks yet again for letting me vent. It does feel some better when I am able to do it. I am not able to get on here much due to taking care of my husband who is disabled. But I do read what yall put and get comfort when I can. Thanks again. Love and Prayers to all.

Comment by Tabatha K. on August 17, 2010 at 1:17pm

@Mel - thx for ur support & words of comfort! I am taking each day step-by-step & am trying to get my heart used to the "New Normal". Thx again for listening & letting me vent!

Comment by Mel Joyce on August 17, 2010 at 3:38am

@Tabatha, I am sorry you feel so bad. I can relate. It's about six months, actually on this thursday. I feel heartsick. I just had surgery, got my gall bladder removed and have had pain meds, on top of my antidepressants, and sleeping pills and i still can't sleep. This week and last week were a bit rough. I cried myself to sleep a couple of times, and i stayed up til 2 or 3am, and woke up at 6ish in the morning. I feel worn out and dragging. My thoughts drift back and forth, memories mostly and some regrets that i wish I would have spent more time with my dad. I treasure all the talks we had and reflect on how wise my dad was. He was my sunshine and i just feel so lost. I am sorry i am dumping all this on you, but i just wanted to share that this whole process of grieving is a roller coaster and the ride is unpredictable. So disregard those "move on's" and just cry if you need to, be mad if you need to, whatever the moment calls for, but don't bottle it up, it doesn't help. So, i just wanted to share, even though it has been 6 months for me, i still cry like it was yesterday. I loved my dad very much and there is just no replacement for that void. The process now is just figuring out the "New Normal" and trying to live in that, not saying it's easy just the way life will be until we all are reunited in Heaven. My thoughts and prayers go out to you my friend. ((((hugs)))) Love & God bless ya, mel

Comment by Tabatha K. on August 16, 2010 at 11:48am

aarrrgghh! I am sooo aggravated w/ myself because I feel like I should be so much farther along than I am. I hurt everyday! I miss my Pop sooo very much that I can't just "move on" like e'one thinks I should! :( W/e I think about him or something reminds me of him - I tear up.

Comment by Courtney Adams on August 12, 2010 at 9:27am

@Tab I think you for the prayers @Mel I hope your doing alright now I was worried when you hadnt been on in a while...Well I am going to go finish work now....I hope to hear from you guys again soon and thank you all for your prayers I will return the thought!!...Wishing you all great days to come!!!

Comment by Mel Joyce on August 11, 2010 at 4:29am

I hope you all are doing okay. I have been busy, just had my gall bladder removed so been resting and drugged up lately. Was thinking of my dad the other night and cried myself to sleep. I sure miss him. I still recycle the thought of him not being around. Just can't get that thru my head. The permanent separation. I so wish for all the little times we had together, running to the grocery store, running to Sonic for burgers and shakes, or just chilling on the couch watching an old western. He loved John Wayne and Clint Eastwood. I sure miss my daddy. I am up late and just thinking of all of you who feel the same void, the same heart ache. I pray that you are doing well and not so down and out. Just keep in mind you still have a life to live and your dad would have wanted you to continue. Make your mark in life, make it meaningful. Continue on your dad's legacy and help people remember the love he had. Love & God Bless you all, mel

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