I'm a thirty four year old female. My primary interests are in writing and education. I appreciate beautiful scenery, finding reasons to laugh and make others laugh, listening to music I like, having good conversations, and losing myself in fictional worlds. I struggle with all kinds of challenges, and my Mom has been a constant source of help and support to me through my entire life. Through all kinds of tough times, my Mom has always been there, always been the person I have felt safest and most comfortable with, right up until the day she unexpectedly died.
My mother and I had always been close, especially since my father passed away almost two years ago. My father was thirteen years older than my mother, and he died a slow, painful, dignity-robbing sort of death. It was a hard loss, but I had my mother, and we supported each other through his illness and death. Now, I've lost my mother too, and with no warning. I have no siblings, and I'm unmarried with no children.
About my Loss:
My mother's body was just found on February 6th, 2016. I had spoken to her the previous night, and she seemed fine. She always checks in with a good morning email to me, and that day, she did not send one. I called her cell and landline repeatedly. When there was no response. I called 911. They found her on the couch, not breathing, no pulse. I don't know how or why this happened. I've never felt this empty, lost and afraid. I don't know how to live in this world without my mother.
According to the autopsy, she had bad heart disease. She had high blood pressure, and three very clogged arteries. We had no idea anything at all was wrong with her heart.
The above picture is of my Mom and me on December 31st, 2015. We were at our favorite Barnes and Noble, and sad that that location would be closing that day. We knew that was our last chance to go to that Barnes and Noble together. We assmed we'd still have many more years together. We never imagined that my mother had just a little over a month left to live at the time this photo was taken.
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cnt evnhav a desent sendd off lk my nbor i cud not say gud by 2 coz of rstrisn
loss frind 2 cov 19 cud not say gud by to…"
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