Christine Leakey
  • Female
  • Reisterstown, MD
  • United States
Share

Christine Leakey's Friends

  • Kari Hurley
  • Nancy L
  • Brandon Stanley
  • Emily
  • Stephanie Wilson
  • Mary
  • dream moon JO B
  • Wendy

Christine Leakey's Groups

Christine Leakey's Discussions

Feeling guilty
2 Replies

I've been feeling guilty for going back to work and moving on with my life after my sister's death. I know that I need to but it's just doesn't feel right. Like I'm somehow going to forget her or…Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by Dolly Jun 11, 2013.

Dealing with a difficult family member in the face of tragedy.
2 Replies

I have three two sisters. An older sister and a younger one. Since my younger sister, Becky, was murdered I've become the middle child. Although, I suppose I've just always been the older one..My…Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by Bob Fredrick Jan 31, 2013.

Feeling a disconnect with everything
10 Replies

I've been feeling disconnected lately. From my family, my friends, my work and especially my emotions. I think it may be a defense mechanism, an attempt to protect myself for further pain. I have a…Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by Tahnee Attwood Jan 31, 2013.

Denial
2 Replies

Do you ever get passed the "I can't believe this" thoughts?I realize that it's only been a little over a month since the death of my sister but I feel like I'll never be able to accept this. It will…Continue

Tags: denial

Started this discussion. Last reply by Eliza Jan 26, 2013.

Gifts Received

Gift

Christine Leakey has not received any gifts yet

Give a Gift

 

Christine Leakey's Page

Profile Information

About Me:
I'm a wife and mother of two sons. I live in Reisterstown, MD and work full time as an admitting specialist. I don't really have any hobbies because our schedules are full with work, school, cub scouts and the boys outings.
About my Loss:
On December 20, 2012 my younger sister was murdered by her boyfriend of 6 years. He stabbed her multiple times and then took his own life.

Christine Leakey's Photos

  • Add Photos
  • View All

Christine Leakey's Blog

Seeking help is hard to do

I had my first therapy session yesterday. I was so nervous that my hands were shaking and I thought I might get sick but this was long over due for me.

I was so beyond nervous that I had to call a good friend of mine. He has this amazing ability to 'talk me down' when I get worked up. He has been to a therapist of his own and he told me that the first session is usually the hardest because you're about to be brutally honest with a complete stranger but he reassured me that this is…

Continue

Posted on June 27, 2013 at 7:46am

Hello, Anxiety

In two days my sister will have been gone from this world for 180 days. 6 months. Each hour we get closer to the 20th my anxiety builds. I can't breathe, I can't think straight, I have no appetite, my heart is pounding, my hands are shaking and I just want to disappear. People around me can feel the anxiety radiating off me. I know that Thursday will be just another day for so many people in the world but I desperately don't want Thursday to come. I know it will accomplish nothing and change…

Continue

Posted on June 18, 2013 at 10:43am — 3 Comments

Falling apart

I'm just realizing how badly my sister's death has affected me. I feel like I'm spiraling out of control and I can't stop myself.

I thought I was being really strong and doing a great job of holding myself together but I couldn't have been more wrong. There has been a perfect storm brewing inside me since I got that phone call and I'm only now seeing it.

I started smoking again (I had quit last April cold turkey and was doing so well), my drinking has increased a lot, I'm…

Continue

Posted on May 23, 2013 at 1:22pm — 1 Comment

When dreams consume you..

So, I'm a big dreamer. I have dreams almost every night and up until my sister died, I always had pretty normal dreams. Right after my sister died I dreamed about her a lot. Some were good dreams, remembering things from when we were younger. Some were really bad dreams.

The one that I remember so vividly felt more like an 'out-of-body' experience than a dream.

I dreamt that I was in her apartment with her the night that her boyfriend killed her. She was holding my hand and…

Continue

Posted on May 1, 2013 at 10:57am — 1 Comment

Comment Wall (6 comments)

You need to be a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community to add comments!

Join Online Grief Support - A Social Community

At 10:15am on August 8, 2013, MaLissa said…
I am very sorry for your loss. My sister was murdered Oct 6, 2011. I miss her every day. I fon't knoe how many timrs I've picked up phone to call her. If you ever need go talk please let me know. malbrant75@gmail.com
At 1:37am on February 2, 2013, Brandon Stanley said…

Thank you Christine, I have a 4 month year old boy, cutest little thing. I am always so paranoid something will happen to him. Just goes to show, anything can happen. I always try to believe that God has a plan for us all.

At 7:34am on February 1, 2013, Brandon Stanley said…

I am sorry to hear about your loss Christine, it is such a shame, if you need to talk I am always happy to listen.

At 8:36am on January 26, 2013, rivka finkelstein said…
Hi chtistine. I lost my sister over 15 yrs ago and it left a gaping hole in my life. Now years later i lost my 20 yr old son. Both of thrm were warm loving special people who knew how to relate to and take care of others. Its hard to go on but we have to. Some days are hard and other times its not so hard. I have tried hard to accept that these tragedies are part of living. Plus a little antidrpressant always helps too!!
At 9:06pm on January 25, 2013, Margarita said…

Hi Christine, I am so sorry for your loss. I can't even come up with the words to explain what I want to say.  It's just not fair, that's all.  As for your Denial post, in a few days, it will be 3 months since my mom passed and there are still days that I have to remind myself that my mom is not around.  It feels almost as if the last 4 months (including the month she was ill) was surreal, a blur.  So I just keep find more and more ways to avoid it, work more and keep busy.  I feel as if I will never be ok, I know I will never be ok, I will never be the same.

At 12:38am on January 25, 2013, Emily said…

I'm so sorry about your sister, please feel free to message me anytime.

 
 
 

Groups

Latest Activity

morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"This website is like a secret world we inhabit where the platitudes and scorn for not fitting in are understood as hogwash.  We know better than anyone on the outside of our grief how this has affected us.  I am so tired of being labeled…"
1 hour ago
Nancy commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Lovely pictures everyone.   Thank you for sharing.   I am in the same boat.  I just exist.   "
3 hours ago
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I,m grateful that I found this site.  It's sort of like besides my family, you all are the only friends I have left.  I do have a couple that are long distance, but don't get to see them very often.  All my so called local…"
3 hours ago
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Here's one of our permanent bed with names blocked out."
4 hours ago
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Linda, We went on that same excursion off a cruise in 2003.  Here is a pic that was taken on the ship when we renewed our vows at a ceremony performed by the Captain."
4 hours ago
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Morgan & Joe, Thanks for sharing your thoughts. You put into words the horror I go through everyday. Going on year 7 without my Husband Julian. He was my whole life and I want to be with him but I can't. If I didn't believe in God I…"
9 hours ago
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Joe, 49 years is a long time.  Long enough to embed yourself in each other and there is nothing that will soothe the tearing apart of that union.  I knew my husband for 55 (since 2nd grade) and we were together for 35.  Long…"
18 hours ago
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Morgan, Monday will be a very tough day for both of us. It's one year for me which seems like one long day, and six for you, which scares the hell out of me thinking about how long do I have to be here before I go to her. It seems like one long…"
yesterday
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Lets be honest. Death sucks. As I read the posts on here and I see how we struggle when we lose someone to death it boggles the mind how any of us keep moving. I keep saying to myself there is something I can do to make myself feel better and it…"
yesterday
Emma is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
yesterday
Kelly Lieberman posted a status
"Can't sleep. Typical, my daughter goes back to college in the morning and I am having a hard time with that."
yesterday
Kelly Lieberman posted photos
yesterday
mindy replied to mindy's discussion Feeling pretty well depressed
"I guess I'm doing ok I was in the middle of a family fued Christmas day night so I been keeping to myself I check out that site but don't have the money to pay for it I'm disabled"
yesterday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I agree with all of that. I didn't expect a reward. My mom was reward enough, but I am not the same person that I once was. And I thought that some kind of balance would occur. I can't explain that really. It's been defeating. As soon…"
Friday
M Adams commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"After my husband’s death, and now after losing my mother, I also found myself somehow imagining that, not so much that something good would happen, more that some kind of reward would come to me, something to balance off the pain and…"
Friday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Well, Brett, one day we all shall see, I have many many questions, but no one to answer them. My heart still aches everyday, I still cry, but no one understands why, they have no clue...."
Friday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"There's something that has been on my mind lately and this is the best place to mention it. As much as I feared and dreaded my mom's death, I sort of felt like something good would happen, maybe not right away, but eventually. Like Karma…"
Friday
Margaret Whitehouse commented on mary snell's group hi
"I know how you feel. I lost my mom Jan 6, 2019 and it is so raw and all I do is cry. I was in the room when she passed and had been all day. My regret is I wasn't holding her hand when she took her last breath. She had dementia and I saw her 3…"
Thursday
Margaret Whitehouse joined mary snell's group
Thumbnail

hi

hi I recantly lost my mom two weeks ago I'm still missing her and I wish that i could of said good bye to her before said passed away See More
Thursday
Brenda Ann replied to mindy's discussion Feeling pretty well depressed
"Mindy, I am not a doctor but I am a student of the Bible. It seems that you are suffering from anxiety over your past. Humans including ourselves seem to filter the good things we have done and focus on the "bad". But God is the opposite.…"
Wednesday

© 2019   Created by Ninja.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service