Brett Bowman
  • Male
  • Apex, NC
  • United States
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Brett Bowman's Groups

Brett Bowman's Discussions

Are We Alone?
33 Replies

Ever since the loss of my mom (12/242015) I have felt very much alone. It didn't start out that way. After mom died, as sad as I was, I had friends and family calling me each day to see if I was…Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by Robin H Oct 28, 2018.

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Brett Bowman's Page

Latest Activity

Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I agree with all of that. I didn't expect a reward. My mom was reward enough, but I am not the same person that I once was. And I thought that some kind of balance would occur. I can't explain that really. It's been defeating. As soon…"
Friday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"There's something that has been on my mind lately and this is the best place to mention it. As much as I feared and dreaded my mom's death, I sort of felt like something good would happen, maybe not right away, but eventually. Like Karma…"
Friday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi, I agree with M. I'm not one to give advice because I have not conquered those guilty feelings either. I have a feeling, and that is all I can go by, that one day we will grow tired of beating ourselves up, and that's when we will take…"
Tuesday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I never thought that your mom wasn't tidy. When my mom got really sick, her ways didn't change. She would say, "How does the kitchen look?" I would tell her that it was fine, but she would say, "Get in there and clean it…"
Jan 11
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I never really outgrew laying down next to my mom. She outgrew it for me. Mom was real fussy about her bed. Her mom was, too. Mom would make up her bed all the way through her sickness. I don't know how she did it but she did. There came a…"
Jan 7
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Just seems like the world is a cold place without my mom. It's the same world it always was, but I view it differently now. I imagine that I always will. There is never a good time to lose your mom, but I sure wish that she was still here with…"
Jan 7
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I had a sad thought today. I remember one Christmas, I wanted a digital wrist watch. Believe it or not they were new at the time. My mom got one for me for Christmas. I wore it to bed and I kept waking up to press the little button so the watch…"
Jan 6
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"A large part of my grief is self-inflicted because I always see the worst case scenario now. I project. There are many people who, as if the grief of losing their mom wasn't enough, who will feel the need to punish themselves even further.…"
Jan 6
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I'm in a unique position (grief wise). I have no idea how to get better but I can look back over the past three years and see changes that I would make if I could do it again. That may sound like an odd things say (do it again. post mom) In…"
Jan 6
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"In the end I would cry too frequently in front of my mom. It worried her a lot. Once I went to a restaurant and got my mom's favorite food. She was all excited, until I put it in front of her. She wouldn't touch it. I said, "Mom,…"
Jan 5
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"M, I am very familiar with that feeling of vulnerability. My mom wasn't exactly a handy person, but when something broke, my mom would have it fixed. Nothing in our home stayed broken for long. When things started  to break I felt very…"
Jan 5
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"SelV, I hope that this will make sense to you. I feel like my mom and I were on a journey. Sometimes, because she was sick, I had to stop and patiently wait for her. When she was ready I would nudge her forward and say, "let's go…"
Jan 5
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"SelV, a lot of similar things happened to me. In my case I don't believe it was energy. I think it was lack of energy on my part to not fix those things. Our motion lights outside the house died first. Replacing light bulbs is a natural part of…"
Jan 5
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Bluebell, if you are still reading... I miss you."
Jan 5
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"SelV, I am also a Personal Trainer. I used to live in the gym, pretty much. When mom needed me most I could no longer go there. That was okay. Mom needed me. It took me two years after my mom's death to get back there. I just didn't have…"
Jan 5
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Theresa, I think there is more to it than not having lost their parents yet. It's a general lack of empathy that is pervasive in society. A lot of people are so wrapped up in their own lives, children, family, and career. It takes a rare and…"
Jan 2

Profile Information

About Me:
I am an average guy who misses his mother greatly.
About my Loss:
I loss my mom on 12/24/2015. I was her caretaker.

Brett Bowman's Blog

Anonymous

I have only been on this site for a few days. And I realize that I am an anonymous person to all of you. You are to me as well. Over time I hope to get to know many of you better, to find out your stories, who you lost, and why you loved them so much.

I don't want to be just a random name, or that kid who misses his mama. I want you to know who I am. The first and most important thing to know is that no one calls me Brett. My nickname is "Oatmeal." I have been called Oatmeal…

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Posted on August 1, 2017 at 12:18pm — 5 Comments

How Far is Heaven?

I'm a mamas boy. There was a time when I was embarrassed to say that. Not anymore. I would scream it from the mountain tops, especially if I thought that my mom could hear me. I was her caretaker. I couldn't stand the idea of my mom spending her last days (years) in assisted living. I wanted her to die in her own home, and I wanted to give something back to the woman who not only gave me life, but also loved me unconditionally until her last day on earth. She died on Christmas Eve, 2015. And…

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Posted on July 27, 2017 at 10:30am — 12 Comments

Comment Wall (3 comments)

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At 1:23pm on March 7, 2018, DeeDee said…

Thanks so much for your kind email. I was just reading your Blog. I am so very sorry for the loss of your beloved mom. She sure sounds like she was one very strong and loving woman. God bless her. Cool nickname "Oatmeal" that's certainly unique! :-) I know in time things will get a little easier, but right now, they are so raw. Thanks again for taking the time to share and write Oatmeal. I truly appreciate it. ~Dee-Dee 

At 8:26am on November 23, 2017, BLUEBELL said…

The holidays are coming up and the anniversary of your sweet Mother's death. How are you?

Bluebell

At 10:46pm on October 10, 2017, M Adams said…
So sorry about Little Boo -- this kind of loss on loss is really hard. Hope the other little dog is doing okay and that you can give each other some comfort.
 
 
 

Groups

Latest Activity

morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"This website is like a secret world we inhabit where the platitudes and scorn for not fitting in are understood as hogwash.  We know better than anyone on the outside of our grief how this has affected us.  I am so tired of being labeled…"
51 minutes ago
Nancy commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Lovely pictures everyone.   Thank you for sharing.   I am in the same boat.  I just exist.   "
2 hours ago
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I,m grateful that I found this site.  It's sort of like besides my family, you all are the only friends I have left.  I do have a couple that are long distance, but don't get to see them very often.  All my so called local…"
3 hours ago
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Here's one of our permanent bed with names blocked out."
3 hours ago
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Linda, We went on that same excursion off a cruise in 2003.  Here is a pic that was taken on the ship when we renewed our vows at a ceremony performed by the Captain."
3 hours ago
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Morgan & Joe, Thanks for sharing your thoughts. You put into words the horror I go through everyday. Going on year 7 without my Husband Julian. He was my whole life and I want to be with him but I can't. If I didn't believe in God I…"
8 hours ago
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Joe, 49 years is a long time.  Long enough to embed yourself in each other and there is nothing that will soothe the tearing apart of that union.  I knew my husband for 55 (since 2nd grade) and we were together for 35.  Long…"
17 hours ago
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Morgan, Monday will be a very tough day for both of us. It's one year for me which seems like one long day, and six for you, which scares the hell out of me thinking about how long do I have to be here before I go to her. It seems like one long…"
yesterday
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Lets be honest. Death sucks. As I read the posts on here and I see how we struggle when we lose someone to death it boggles the mind how any of us keep moving. I keep saying to myself there is something I can do to make myself feel better and it…"
yesterday
Emma is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
yesterday
Kelly Lieberman posted a status
"Can't sleep. Typical, my daughter goes back to college in the morning and I am having a hard time with that."
yesterday
Kelly Lieberman posted photos
yesterday
mindy replied to mindy's discussion Feeling pretty well depressed
"I guess I'm doing ok I was in the middle of a family fued Christmas day night so I been keeping to myself I check out that site but don't have the money to pay for it I'm disabled"
yesterday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I agree with all of that. I didn't expect a reward. My mom was reward enough, but I am not the same person that I once was. And I thought that some kind of balance would occur. I can't explain that really. It's been defeating. As soon…"
Friday
M Adams commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"After my husband’s death, and now after losing my mother, I also found myself somehow imagining that, not so much that something good would happen, more that some kind of reward would come to me, something to balance off the pain and…"
Friday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Well, Brett, one day we all shall see, I have many many questions, but no one to answer them. My heart still aches everyday, I still cry, but no one understands why, they have no clue...."
Friday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"There's something that has been on my mind lately and this is the best place to mention it. As much as I feared and dreaded my mom's death, I sort of felt like something good would happen, maybe not right away, but eventually. Like Karma…"
Friday
Margaret Whitehouse commented on mary snell's group hi
"I know how you feel. I lost my mom Jan 6, 2019 and it is so raw and all I do is cry. I was in the room when she passed and had been all day. My regret is I wasn't holding her hand when she took her last breath. She had dementia and I saw her 3…"
Thursday
Margaret Whitehouse joined mary snell's group
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hi

hi I recantly lost my mom two weeks ago I'm still missing her and I wish that i could of said good bye to her before said passed away See More
Thursday
Brenda Ann replied to mindy's discussion Feeling pretty well depressed
"Mindy, I am not a doctor but I am a student of the Bible. It seems that you are suffering from anxiety over your past. Humans including ourselves seem to filter the good things we have done and focus on the "bad". But God is the opposite.…"
Wednesday

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