Luisa Salter
  • Female
  • Eugene, OR
  • United States
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  • Brett Bowman
  • BLUEBELL
  • Theresa

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Latest Activity

Luisa Salter commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi everyone, just checking in. I'm sad to hear all the trouble with beloved pets recently. I'm so sorry. I know that some times when it rains it pours. Having a tough day today myself. I have to remind myself that God will give me what I…"
Oct 20, 2017
Luisa Salter commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I can't imagine losing one of my Mom's pets, Brett this must be devastating to you. My Mom has two cats, they went up to Washington to live with her sister because I could not take them. It was really hard when they left. It was especially…"
Oct 14, 2017
Luisa Salter commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett I'm so sorry about losing Boo. I have lost pets before also and it's very painful. terrible that you have to deal with it while you are still deep in grief over losing your Mom. Hugs Try to believe that God will give you what you…"
Oct 13, 2017
Joy left a comment for Luisa Salter
"Luisa, you are not alone in how you feel. Losing a mom is traumatic. So know that I am very sorry that you lost her as I have lost mine. You're feelings are very understandable. The first few weeks were horrible. I would not ever want to relive…"
Oct 9, 2017
Luisa Salter commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi everyone I appreciate reading all of your thoughts and posts about how you are dealing with losing Mom. It helps me not feel so alone. thank you all for being here. My Mom has been gone for about 5 weeks now. I have reached a point where I have…"
Oct 9, 2017
Luisa Salter commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett, Theresa and Bluebell, my heart goes out to you. I truly understand how hard it is. Over the years before my Mom passed I struggled with a lot of anxiety and depression, a sort of "anxious depression" that was horrendous to live…"
Oct 1, 2017
Luisa Salter commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Today we moved everything out of Mom's apartment. It has uncovered a new layer of grief and I am utterly exhausted. My house and garage are in complete disarray with boxes everywhere. I feel so bogged down with things and things to to. I have…"
Sep 23, 2017
Luisa Salter replied to Crystal K's discussion Its hard accepting my mother's death in the group I miss my Mom!
"Crystal I am so sorry. I lost my Mom on August 30th, and I understand this sense of coldness and feeling like a zombie. When people ask me how I am feeling, I tell them that I go back and forth between numb and devastated. It seems like I will cry…"
Sep 23, 2017
Karen bentl left a comment for Luisa Salter
"I'm so very sorry for your loss. {{{{hugs}}}}}}"
Sep 23, 2017
Luisa Salter replied to Pol's discussion A very special tribute to a mothers love in the group I miss my Mom!
"Beautiful, thanks so much Paul."
Sep 19, 2017
Luisa Salter commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Thank you Brett. I believe that Mom is healed and her spirit is free. She is with her parents and cats and others she loved who left this world. I also have to believe that she is with me when I need her and that I will see her again in God's…"
Sep 17, 2017
Luisa Salter commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I am sorry for your losses too bluebell, and Theresa. I know we all miss our Moms very much. For me this past year seeing her decline and pass away has been the hardest thing I've ever had to do."
Sep 17, 2017
Luisa Salter commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Thank you both. Yes that's it Bluebell, packing Mom's things and knowing that they are all of the things that she loved and cared about and will never use again because she is gone. It is heartbreaking. For example my Mom retired in 2014…"
Sep 17, 2017
Luisa Salter commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Theresa Weekends are hard for me too, for the past year I spent a lot of time at my Mom's on weekends. It helps me to keep busy also but my daughter goes to her Dad's and when I'm home alone it's the hardest. I'm going to…"
Sep 17, 2017
Luisa Salter commented on Jennifer L Gebhardt's group caregiver
"Hi everyone, this is my first posting too. I oversaw care for my Mom for the last 16 months of her life. She died August 30th 2017 of lung disease, at 68 years old. She was able to be in her home. I did some of her care, but for the last few months…"
Sep 16, 2017
Luisa Salter joined Jennifer L Gebhardt's group
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caregiver

I was a caregiver to my mom for just over 4 years. She moved in with me after finding out she had breast cancer. I went to every single Dr appointment with her, every chemo, radiation and to her head shaving. I have 3 sister's and 1 brother but they didn't do anything to help. I felt so alone during the last few months of my mother's life that it's hard not to be angry at my siblings for not helping more. I look in every room of my home and see mom everywhere. I feel lost without her here. See More
Sep 16, 2017

Profile Information

About Me:
I am 39, a single Mom in Oregon. I work as an oncology nurse. I love cats, books and movies.
About my Loss:
I lost my Mom on August 30 2017. I moved her from her home town to mine one year ago, after multiple hospitalizations due to end-stage COPD. Mom retired from the hospital in 2014, and did not want to die there. We opted for Hospice. She lived longer than anyone expected her too, and I try to stay grateful for the time that we had. I learned how deep my love for her is, told her often and tried my best to show her also. I dont think that anything went unsaid. Still, I feel devastated by this loss. I've never lost anyone close before, and my Mom and my daughter mean the world to me. I do t have much other family. I am trying to stay present in each day, but the pain is overwhelming at times.
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Comment Wall (2 comments)

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At 5:51pm on October 9, 2017, Joy said…

Luisa, you are not alone in how you feel. Losing a mom is traumatic. So know that I am very sorry that you lost her as I have lost mine. You're feelings are very understandable. The first few weeks were horrible. I would not ever want to relive those very early days. Yet, my mom has been gone almost five months and I'm feeling the full impact of my loss. There are days when I can manage and then a flood of memories will assail me including the pain she endured when she was sick and dying and I feel overwhelmed by sorrow. I realize that I'll never eat dinner with her or call her on the phone to talk about some random thing that happened. It's too much at times.

So I completely understand how you're not as productive as you used to be. Coupled with the responsibilities you have as a single mom, I know you're probably feeling at your wit's end at times. But I'm glad you're finding some solace in the site. I'm actually attending a Grief Share support group being offered by my church staring this week, so I'm looking forward to that. It helps to talk to others who know what you're experiencing.

At 9:31pm on September 23, 2017, Karen bentl said…
I'm so very sorry for your loss. {{{{hugs}}}}}}
 
 
 

Latest Activity

Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Bluebell, it was nice to put a face to a name. I always have these pre conceived notions of what I think people will look like. With you, it's the name, I saw you as having blue hair and cat glasses. I was wrong on this one. "
41 minutes ago
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"The blond women I was hugging afterwards was my sister. Bluebell"
3 hours ago
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi, I was really scared to get up there, but I am glad I did. Not everyone here has this type of Celebration of Life. But my sister's husband was very involved in the well being of his neighborhood and also loved a good get together at his…"
3 hours ago
bluebird commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Thank you, Linda. I want to be very clear -- I am in no way advocating suicide for anyone, I am just saying that if that is what I end up doing, I will not allow it to keep me from my husband."
5 hours ago
Trina Mamoon commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"On the topic of suicide, there are two reasons that I have not contemplated taking my own life. One of them is that I cannot allow myself to leave my loved ones to deal with the trauma and heartbreak if I were to commit suicide. In my opinion, it…"
5 hours ago
Trina Mamoon commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Dear Geraldine, Very sorry to hear that you are having another anxiety-filled day. Lately, I am having more of the depression attacks, with more frequency and more intensity. This living hell is just unbearable! When will this all end?  Sending…"
5 hours ago
monty thompson replied to monty thompson's discussion My wife passed 5 days before christmas in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi All I have noticed lately that i am having dreams with re-occuring theams. my wife leaving (though some circumstance) and having greater responsibilities to look after others.. are other experiencing dreams with constant theam's ? that…"
5 hours ago
Geraldine Brown commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Another morning waking with anxiety that feels like it is choking me. Missing my husband with an ache inside that I cannot explain. If only cancer didn't exist or there was a cure, my beloved would still be here."
5 hours ago
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"AMEN!!!!!!"
9 hours ago
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Bluebird, You have a very valid point, I agree with your comment."
9 hours ago
Leian joined Amy's group
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You're too young to be a widow

I never thought that I would be a widow in my forties.  My friends can't relate and feel the need to comment on everything, even if they have no experience with grief.  I know they mean well but only we know what we are going though.See More
11 hours ago
bluebird commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I don't agree -- if there is an afterlife, I WILL be with my husband there, no matter how I die. I will tear the afterlife apart to be with him, if that is what I have to do. I don't believe in God, but if there is one, if it is a loving…"
13 hours ago
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Joe, I agree with you, my Lutheran religion has taught if I take my own life I will not join My Husband in heaven. The only way I go on is that we are not widowed, still married only he is in Heaven and I am in Hell. "
14 hours ago
Trevy Thomas commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"My heart goes out to you all. Grief is the hardest pain in the world. A few things I saw in your comments made me want to share.  Vickie, grief is still new for you and the early part is impossibly hard. My husband died at 49…"
16 hours ago
Geraldine Brown commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Oh Vickie lemoigne ecklund my heart breaks for you. There are no words that can take away the pain. "
19 hours ago
Vickie lemoigne ecklund commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I lost my husband 7 moths ago and he was my soul mate my everything. I am so lost without out him. I don't know what to do. All I do is cry. How long will I just want to die cuz I'm without out him. His b day is today he would have been 53…"
20 hours ago
Vickie lemoigne ecklund joined Jon-Paul Ackerman's group
20 hours ago
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett, amazing words. It helped me a lot. Bluebell, saw your video and felt amazing. It is great that you have such celebration of life. It is not very common in India. "
20 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"That is so hard to do. My mom would tell me that she wanted me to be happy after she was gone. I would say, "Mom, how happy would you be if I were the one who was dying?" She couldn't answer that question. Who knows? Maybe if I had…"
23 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"If we each go every detail of our lives with our mothers, each one of us will find ample reason to feel guilty. But what would be the point? None of us would be on this site if we didn't love and miss our mom's with all of our…"
yesterday

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