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Luisa, you are not alone in how you feel. Losing a mom is traumatic. So know that I am very sorry that you lost her as I have lost mine. You're feelings are very understandable. The first few weeks were horrible. I would not ever want to relive those very early days. Yet, my mom has been gone almost five months and I'm feeling the full impact of my loss. There are days when I can manage and then a flood of memories will assail me including the pain she endured when she was sick and dying and I feel overwhelmed by sorrow. I realize that I'll never eat dinner with her or call her on the phone to talk about some random thing that happened. It's too much at times.
So I completely understand how you're not as productive as you used to be. Coupled with the responsibilities you have as a single mom, I know you're probably feeling at your wit's end at times. But I'm glad you're finding some solace in the site. I'm actually attending a Grief Share support group being offered by my church staring this week, so I'm looking forward to that. It helps to talk to others who know what you're experiencing.