Crystal Parker
  • Female
  • House Springs, MO
  • United States
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Always Angry
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I don't know what is wrong with me lately... I do not like to show people my emotions anymore ever since my husband committed suicide. I dont know if its because I was a walking zombie for months and…Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by Shani Friedman Jul 31, 2018.

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Shani Friedman replied to Crystal Parker's discussion Always Angry
"This is my first time checking out the site and responding. I'm sorry for your loss and I know how you feel. I have a lot of anger right now since my loss in May. It's hard for me to cry in front of people but I've found that…"
Jul 31, 2018
bluebird replied to Crystal Parker's discussion Always Angry
"It's not uncommon, what you're feeling.  For me, I basically feel as though the only emotions I even have anymore are sadness and anger, and I never used to be that way before my husband died (I was always an optimistic and loving…"
Jul 28, 2018
Jarvis and Crystal Parker are now friends
Jul 26, 2018
Crystal Parker joined Julie Dolsey-Weiss's group
Jul 19, 2018
Crystal Parker commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi guys I lost my husband January 30th 2017 .. he committed suicide by our house. Night is still a struggle for me I know its still hard for our kids too but sometimes I dont know how to be or act .. he did all the Bill's and went to work I…"
Jul 19, 2018
Crystal Parker joined Jon-Paul Ackerman's group
Jul 19, 2018
Crystal Parker and Britt Steele are now friends
Jul 19, 2018
Crystal Parker posted a discussion

Always Angry

I don't know what is wrong with me lately... I do not like to show people my emotions anymore ever since my husband committed suicide. I dont know if its because I was a walking zombie for months and that's all I did was cry and shout and show all sorts of emotions I just dont anymore in front of people.. but now I just see everyone so different.  I have lost all hope in love true love and forgiveness and kindness people are selfish and ignorant assholes.  I have cut every single person out of…See More
Jul 19, 2018
Crystal Parker posted photos
Jul 13, 2018
Crystal Parker added the App PollDaddy
Jul 13, 2018
Crystal Parker posted photos
Jul 10, 2018
Crystal Parker posted a photo
Jul 10, 2018
Crystal Parker is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Jul 5, 2018

Profile Information

About Me:
I am 35 years old with 2 children a daughter who is 18 and a son who just turned 13 my husband had passed away on January 30th I have never experienced anything like this before everytime I think I'm doing good and um over it I'm not and something just hits me I'm kinda just like a mad angry person right now and I don't like it i just want to be normal is there anyone else out there like this too..
About my Loss:
My husband was an amazing Friend father person and husband he was 40 and would have been 41 in March he always had a smile on his face. I was always the screwed up one really not him he was the strong one I was the weak one I am the sick one he never goes to the dr I could have seen me commenting suicide not him never him no note nothing I feel like I'm going crazy I don't understand this is don't know who I am I don't know what to do with myself I am just roaming through life now I am a zombie...
That was in tr he beginning but now I'm just angry and mean and want to be alone because I feel tainted I guess in a way
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Silke B. and Brenda Ann are now friends
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This is for anyone who has lost somone to cancer. I lost my adopted Mom to breast cancer some years ago. She was everything I could have asked for. She loved me because I was just me. She also loved my family and children as if they were her own.See More
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M Adams commented on M Adams's blog post Super blood wolf moon - lunar eclipse happening now
"Watching it alone last night was sad but I’m glad to have seen it."
yesterday
Trina Mamoon left a comment for morgan
"Dear morgan, I wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you today (January 21st) on the seventh anniversary of the passing of the love of your life. I know that “life” as we live it now after the death of our beloved spouse is worth…"
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Alex is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
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Brenda Ann left a comment for morgan
"Dear Morgan, You said, ”What the hell happened to him.  Where is he?  I want to know and I know that is impossible.”  I noticed these 2 questions that you asked and noticed that you don’t feel it is possible to find…"
yesterday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Joe, What a beautiful picture of you and your wife and your gravestones will hold both your bodies but you souls will be united in another realm. Morgan,  You will be in thoughts my tomorrow as you try to make it through the…"
yesterday
M Adams posted a blog post

Super blood wolf moon - lunar eclipse happening now

The moon should appear at its reddest at about 9:12 p.m., with the event lasting until about 10:40 p.m.Kelly encourages people to take a look.  "You know, stop and look up and really think about [how] we are on this huge planet, moving around in space and there's very few times that we can actually be reminded and feel the effects of that," she said.See More
yesterday
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"This website is like a secret world we inhabit where the platitudes and scorn for not fitting in are understood as hogwash.  We know better than anyone on the outside of our grief how this has affected us.  I am so tired of being labeled…"
yesterday
Nancy commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Lovely pictures everyone.   Thank you for sharing.   I am in the same boat.  I just exist.   "
yesterday
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I,m grateful that I found this site.  It's sort of like besides my family, you all are the only friends I have left.  I do have a couple that are long distance, but don't get to see them very often.  All my so called local…"
yesterday
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Here's one of our permanent bed with names blocked out."
yesterday
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Linda, We went on that same excursion off a cruise in 2003.  Here is a pic that was taken on the ship when we renewed our vows at a ceremony performed by the Captain."
yesterday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Morgan & Joe, Thanks for sharing your thoughts. You put into words the horror I go through everyday. Going on year 7 without my Husband Julian. He was my whole life and I want to be with him but I can't. If I didn't believe in God I…"
Sunday
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Joe, 49 years is a long time.  Long enough to embed yourself in each other and there is nothing that will soothe the tearing apart of that union.  I knew my husband for 55 (since 2nd grade) and we were together for 35.  Long…"
Sunday
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Morgan, Monday will be a very tough day for both of us. It's one year for me which seems like one long day, and six for you, which scares the hell out of me thinking about how long do I have to be here before I go to her. It seems like one long…"
Saturday
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Lets be honest. Death sucks. As I read the posts on here and I see how we struggle when we lose someone to death it boggles the mind how any of us keep moving. I keep saying to myself there is something I can do to make myself feel better and it…"
Saturday
Emma is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
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