I am new here. I lost my Mom on Valentines Day. There is a void in my life  that I need to figure out how to fill. I have been her caregiver for the past 3 years and she has been the center point of my life. I feel a sense of freedom because I no longer have the constant worry, but I also feel lost and do not know what to do with my time.

I also cannot seem to leave her house and go back to living and sleeping at mine. I feel closer to her here and life seems more normal. So I go back and forth between our two houses, taking care of the pets at each one. Maybe this is because I need to give myself time to grief and adjust to the changes. Or maybe I just do not want to face that she is gone.

Views: 183

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

Being your mothers caregiver must have been hard. And now that she is gone its all different. I think maybe you should try to stay at your house. My mom and i had an apartment together and i am trying to break the lease because i cant live there. To me im scared there and i think about all her memories and its hard on me. We both have to come to terms with losing our mothers. We have to find a way to grief so we don't mess up our futures. Your mom would want you to be happy! Take care.

Take care too Raina. I am not having a good morning , so I am short on words. What I am hanging on to is the faith that I know it will get better and I will move on with my life. I just do not know when that will be. Maybe it will be tomorrow and maybe it will be in a month or so.

Bluebell

BlueBell

I have been a caregiver for a couple people. My Grandmother, and my Father in Law.

My Father in Law was the most demanding situation. He had Alzheimers.

It really was a 24/7 thing.

When he finally died I found myself missing the time I spent caring for him. I certainly didn't want him to continue suffering. It was very difficult to watch him suffering with such a terrible desease and his suffering was now over.

BUT, I MISSED taking care of him. It left a huge hole in my life and I still miss him. He died 17 years ago.

Some things that helped me....

I stay busy. I volunteer. I try really hard to think positive things. None of these things takes my pain away but it helps me move forward.

I also have faith in the Bible. Not everyone does. And that's ok, but it works for me.

It teaches me that my loved ones are just asleep right now, and that one day they will wake up and we will be together again. That HOPE sustains me. It doesn't fill the hole, but it helps me move forward.

I am so sorry for your loss. If there is anything that I can do to help you, please let me know.

Dennis,

First of all, I want to thank you for replying to my comments. I appreciate you sharing your experiences and how they parallel with mine. It does help me sort through what all I am grieving.

As the caregiver, a daughter, a sister and a nurse, I played many different roles during the years I cared for my Mom before her death. It is going to take some time for me to sort out all the different feelings.

Bluebell

Blue, I was my Mom's caregiver for 1 year and 4 months. I do not feel the emptiness after her death because God fills the void now. I so long for her at times, but I know where she is. I'm not trying to preach, but Jesus Christ was a LARGE part of my Mom's life. She was amazing. Never complained. She found peace no matter what was going on in her life. She taught me about Jesus Christ. If it hadn't been for Jesus Christ being in my heart when Mommy died, I would have probably gone insane without any hope in my life. No light. I feel your pain trust me, my mom was a part of my life fulltime since 2011 and before that. I always lived with my parents. I had work or something, but I always was around my Mom. Her loss has left a hole in my heart, but Jesus Christ is mercifully filling it. She had this smile on her face, blissful. She is happy where she is. My worrying and missing her until it leaves me miserable and without hope is just illogical to me.

What I am saying is this... I have no idea if you are religious. It is not about religion, its about knowing where your mom is and that she is safe. She is no longer suffering. Please consider if you are not a Christian, reading God's word. I promise you, I swear to you it will start to fill the gaps in your life. I've gone two weeks without my Mom. If it wasn't for her faith and her guidance while she was alive that lead me to God, I'd be living hopeless and so miserable. I don't feel lost because I have Jesus Christ to lead me down the path to proper grieving and healthy ways of thinking about stuff.

I really am sorry that you lost your mom. I feel you so much with this. I just know what has given me comfort.. my belief in Jesus Christ and knowing that no matter what I go through in my life, He is there. I was given mercy by God allowing me to be born to my mother. I was so lucky and fortunate.

Read Psalm 121 in the Bible. I promise it will explain a lot. I look to the hills, where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip, he who watches over Israel never slumbers.. etc. It is so comforting to know that God watches over us and never sleeps, He never changes. He is consistent and will never disappoint. Praise Him that I have this outlook after my Mom's passing to Him.

I'll pray for you Blue. My Mom died on Feb 25, 2017. We buried her March 1. She has not been gone long at all, but I have solace and peace. God bless you so much.

RSS

Latest Activity

Profile IconDoug Roberts and Anna Chris joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
23 hours ago
Anna Chris replied to Frank's discussion Life after multiple, consecutive losses
" Hello I would like to share with Everybody that I have been experiencing an Absolute True Miracle for the last 8 months.  With that most incredible Miracle comes a moral obligation to Share it with people and to Help people. To tell them…"
yesterday
Pamela philipp posted a discussion

No changes

It will be five years this year since I lost my husband and my mother a week apart from each other and everything feels still like it was yesterday there has been no easing of pain seems like the days go by and I feel no different so many people have told me time will ease the pain it doesn’t I still cry myself to sleep every night I struggle just to get through a day the only thing that keeps me here is my grandchildren and my children otherwise I would’ve left this world a long time ago The…See More
yesterday
Joel and dream moon JO B are now friends
yesterday
Wendy joined donna's group
Thumbnail

Losing SomeoneTo Murder

For people who have lost a loved one to murder.
yesterday
Wendy joined Amy's group
Thumbnail

You're too young to be a widow

I never thought that I would be a widow in my forties.  My friends can't relate and feel the need to comment on everything, even if they have no experience with grief.  I know they mean well but only we know what we are going though.See More
yesterday
Wendy joined Kate's group
Thumbnail

Homicide Survivors Group

I'm starting this group in hopes that people who come to oninegriefsupport in the U.S.  can share in their experiences and grief for homicide related deaths. There are tons of support grief services for cancer, alzheimers, loss of children, suicide, ..I could go on. But there are not many support groups for homicide related issues. With the growing gun-related deaths, I thought it would be prudent to create this small sub-group here.I know that grief is very unique and it shouldn't be compared…See More
yesterday
Wendy replied to Nicole's discussion Lost my husband the father of my kids and bestfriend . in the group Lost My Spouse...
"I too lost my husband, the father of my three sons, in June unexpectedly. I would have never imagined being a widow. As it is still relatively new for me as well, I don’t know the answer as to whether it gets easier. I can only hope and pray…"
yesterday

© 2020   Created by Ninja.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service