I lost my 18 year old son on October 27, 2014 to a heroin overdose. He had been in rehab in March and I didn't know he'd gone back to this drug that kills. He lived with his dad since April and his dad didn't see what was going on.
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Oh Lori thats so awful. Omg im sooo sorry. He sounds so great and its really really hard. They are in our thoughts every minute of every day and some days it feels like the pain will swallow us up but it doesnt. I still am very broken and empty part of me is forever gone. This is horrible as u dont even know. My randy started using drugs and he was selling zanax and he would lie and lie and then he went to heroin. I will never ever know y he was in such pain i live every day blaming myself and thinking i should have done more. But u didnt do anything wrong. He was ok. Its so hard to understand why he wd be taken. Im so sorry u lost your best friend. Ran was ony 18. He had his whole life to live. I look at his pix of around 10 12 and hes so happy and fun and adorable. All we can do is go on and keep trying. I wont lie its not easy. Havings friends here is my greatest comfort because everbody understands. Where do you live? Much love and hugs xo
Hi Sandy. My son Cameron, 26, was fine 1 hour before I found him at our home. I had left to go ride my bike and when I returned home I found him in his room on his knees bent over. My husband and I tried to do CPR but he was gone. We had autopsy done but I still don't want to know the cause. I'm sure you think that sounds odd but at this point I can't put 1 more thing into my mind. Not yet. Every second of the day I feel regret. Hope that's normal. Tonight I'm physically sick missing him. He was more than my son. He was a best friend. We shared so many interests. He always called me momma. I miss our movie nights. I don't know how I'm still living without him. Everyday something new that I miss about him surfaces. How do you go on living without your child?
How have you coped for 11 months? I have a hard time seeing past today. Just when I think that I can't cry anymore, I am wrong. I have retuned to the office this week on a part time basis and coming home not having him waiting on me has just added a new level to the pain.
His name is Connor..his brothers are confused as to why he's not coming home. As you know watching your kids grieving just adds another level on top of everything. It had to be some sort of bacterial infection picked up during surgery.
My son had outpatient surgery to correct a deviated septum. Brought him home following surgery and he was vomiting most of the night. Called doctor on cal and was told it was normal. Next day vomiting subsided but couldn't keep balance and speech was impaired. Called doctor again and was told it was all normal; side effects from anesthesia. That evening he had a sick stomach and couldn't get to the bathroom in time. I washed him up in the shower and layed him back down. Shortly after he told me he wasn't sick anymore and said he was sorry for being so sick. I told him nothing's too be sorry about and just wanted him to get better. He asked me for a hug and I then sat with him and rubbed his head. My 4 year old woke us up the next morning around 5:00am feeling sick. I was then I heard my son breathing erratically and making grunting noises. I thought he was having a nightmare and tried to wake him up. He didn't respond and we called 911. When the EMTs arrived his heart had stopped and I was giving chest compressions while they worked on his breathing. Got his heart beating and on the way to the hospital he coded 3 times. They worked on him in the ER and transferred him to ICU on life support. Within a few hours his body was not pumping enough blood to reach his brain and limbs. Had to make decision to remove life support that night. Still awaiting cause of death as it has been a mystery to doctors and the medical examiner. It had to be some type of bacterial infection from surgery....I relive this nightmare every day, playing over and over in my head.
I am so sorry for your loss. The journey of caregiving is extremely difficult. The loss of our especially loved dear ones is unspeakable.
There are so many different ideas about what happens to us when we die. Religion teaches many different…"
"I just feel like I am in a fog. I have a little dog that is at least ten years old. She adored my Mom & she has really grieved for her. I know how you feel about your dog. I worry about her. She is all I have. …"
"Me too Brett, I sit here an look at my 12 year old Labrador and I know he is on borrowed time, and my heart breaks, losing him will be something that I am not looking forward to.
As you said Brett, we have the live our lives until we are called…"
"Yes, I was looking at something that popped up on my Yahoo news feed. It was an article naming 106 celebrities who have passed away in 2019. So many names and faces that I remembered. Now they are gone, and they aren't coming back. Their time…"
"Brett so true she was my security blanket
I feel like I have no one to lean on that understood me like her
You know what keeps coming in my mind. How true it is and scary that everything has a beginning and an end."
"I hear it all the time you don’t know how lucky you were that your mother wasn’t sick and you didn’t have to take care of her I say to them lucky I was lucky that my mother died and I was not right by her side to tell her I love…"
"M, the problem is that our security blankets were ripped away.
Like you, sometimes I am glad to be sad. I feel like I am closer to my mom when I am crying. At least, her memory is fresher with me when I am in that zone.
I feel like the hard reality…"
"Theresa, millions, billions of people have lost their moms. Sometimes someone will tell me that they have lost their mom, too, but they were able to deal with it, and they wonder why I haven't dealt with it as well. This may sound like an…"
"Me too ...I was sitting marking a paper yesterday and suddenly realized that I can’t see or talk to my mother about this or anything else and the tears came. But I’m glad to think of her, in a way I can be glad to be sad sometimes.…"
"I sometimes will just be sitting down and I start to cry because I keep thinking I miss my mom so much my whole world is just not the same I think that I’ve become a different person it will be four years and I still cry
I can’t put into…"
"Definitely a colder world now. I like the image of the security blanket — like, as we go forward, we will always keep it but eventually may be able to wash it, fold it nicely, and put it in some place of honour close at hand but without…"
"It is such a traumatic event, especially when you have had a wonderful Mom. It is so hard knowing she is gone. Knowing this is permanent. There is no one that can fill the void she left. My brother was close to Mom, but he…"
Cherie is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
"While I never forget that my mom is gone, for some reason it just hits me over the head sometimes. Just out of the blue I'll be like, "Mom is gone." It's horrible. It's ever present. And the thing is that it is always with…"
"My Mom also. I could always talk to her about anything & knew she was someone I could totally trust. I am constantly thinking of something I want to share with her & then I remember she is gone. I loved spending time with…"
"It is still numbing to think my Mom is gone & I can't talk to her or see her again. I lost part of me when she passed. Someone said the restless feelings I have are really anxiety. Daily crying is part of my life. …"
"I would rather cry on the outside than on the inside. Crying on the outside is a release. I am really tired of being sad. I'm also tired of being scared. Life without my mom still seems like a scary proposition. All we can do is to continue to…"