Losing Someone to Drug Overdose

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Losing Someone to Drug Overdose

If you've lost someone you loved due to them overdosing on drugs, let's talk about it here.

Members: 69
Latest Activity: Aug 23

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My Sister 2 Replies

Three months ago today I lost my sister. She was beautiful inside and out. She struggled with an addiction to pills for the longest time and it ultimately took her life. I miss her so much and it…Continue

Started by Lea Williams. Last reply by Shamika Anthony Nov 18, 2017.

Lost My Best Friend to Heroin.. 1 Reply

About 2 months ago I lost my best friend to an accidental overdose. It was by far the worst day of my life. I was next door when his ex girlfriend called my phone from his. She had went to hang out…Continue

Tags: young, overdose, od, friend

Started by Leah Turpin. Last reply by Nikki Sep 13, 2017.

the lost of my love to heroin 6 Replies

i lost my love june,14,2017 I loved my boyfriend very much and I cared about him a lot too.I never thought I would be without him right now this is the hardest situation I have ever face.We had been…Continue

Started by Cathy. Last reply by Cathy Aug 15, 2017.

Heroin finally won 4 Replies

We lost our oldest son, Justin on 5/1/17.  He was 31 yrs old. He was a truck driver and they say he died of an accidental overdose. He had a past problem with drugs but was living with us after his…Continue

Started by Clem. Last reply by Clem Jul 30, 2017.

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Comment by Danielle on August 5, 2018 at 7:21pm

Thank you for taking the time to read.
My name is Danielle and at 22 years old I had thought I met the man of my dreams. Sure he had a past run in with drugs but he was going through a divorce, had a daughter and I excepted him for the person he was.
Long story short, things did not work out as I had hoped. I was in a cycle of a mentaly abusive relationship, he would tell me what he wanted me to be, dress like, look like and ended up cheating on me. The pattern went on for years of coming and going.
When I had finally had enough he came back wanting to do better, "Treat" me better this time. This man named Rick was 10 years older then me and I was always wanting to please him and in the same breath I thought I could be the one to act like they did not care.. it is not that easy to act like you don't care about someone after these mental games.
I wanted Rick to feel the way I did..and yet no matter what I always came back. We had many different memories, good and bad..I will say more bad then good. I had never felt good enough for him, even though it came to be he had low self esteem and wanted to bring me down.
In my heart, I think the idea of this man and his potential and seeing the good days of how he treated me I held on to "One Day" we would have our fairytale.
I would check in once or twice a year on him regardless of relationship status.. this time around last August he asked me if I wanted to catch up and I met him at his new home.
It was like seeing someone I knew and loved on a different path then I had imagined.
Rick had lost his home, most of all his things, and was just trying to get by. Rick was staying in a in-law apartment from this woman he knew and looked frail and smelt of cigarettes and vape.
We talked and talked and I realized wow...I love him but I just don't have that In love with him status for this man that had done so much to me. I stayed over that night in sweats and we woke up holding hands. I knew the feeling I had for him was no longer there, but the love was there. I gave him hug and kiss on the cheek goodbye.
Months later he had texted me as I was moving in with my significant other at this time..he became rude because I was not accepting his advances. I cannot recall what he had said and what I said back but I know I had defended myself and aimed to hurt his feelings.
I blocked Rick and this was the last time we had spoke in February.
Rick had passed of an overdose May 2017, and I just found out as of Friday last week.
I am in shock and I feel ashamed for the the last time we spoke and I have so much hurt of why I was not good enough or what I could had done in this relationship/friendship. I find myself crying daily and thinking my wrongs...Please tell me this hurt will go away and how do I find the strength to not be so hard on myself... Please

Comment by B.Windsor on December 1, 2017 at 7:15pm

i've been in NC now, for a lil over three weeks.  i just got back from the tree lighting/holiday parade for the community here, and i had a really tough time.  All i had to do was sit down and Shelby's death hit me all over again.  i know it's gonna be hard for a while, and it's not like i can just brush the feelings off.  i've tried calling to speak with my grandson since i've been here, and got nowhere, as of yet.  i also tried calling my son--who i haven't spoken to since Dec 2012--and as soon as i told him who he was speaking to, the call dropped.  *sigh  Anxiety and heartbreak are constantly present, lately.  

On a brighter side, my 'husband', in Canada, has been pretty supportive since i've been gone.  Sometimes, i feel as though i'm speaking to a complete stranger.  But, i know he's trying to cope with things for himself, as well as find his own niche in life.  For now, we have agreed to be friends and remain in each others' lives.

It'd be so easy, most days, to just give up and give in.  *sigh

Comment by B.Windsor on November 9, 2017 at 4:02pm

About four days left here in Canada, for me.  My current husband knows of all my feelings regarding my need to get back to North Carolina, so i can try to reconnect with my son, and visit with my grandson--make sure he's safe and doing OK.  Since my last post, he's had another birthday, so he's now 5 years old and doesn't start kindergarten until next school year.  i have gotten all the paperwork i'm going to receive, concerning my daughter's death.  So, in essence, i have a few things going on at the moment, and i'm just hoping to land upright when i get in to NC. (i have issues in crowded situations, so my doc prescribed me a couple 'stay calm' pills, just in case.) So many things have gone crazy in the past year, and that's not even overstating it.  My husband's taking on a 'new' persona--or something along that line--and has told me that he's felt that way for a long time, he's just never acted on it.  *sigh  i guess once i get back to NC, i will once again, try to work on my mental/emotional state, while i'm trying to reconnect.  It was either leave or something far worse....  :(

Comment by Sara on September 12, 2017 at 6:34pm
My brother also died on the 14th july 2017. Im still in shock. It terrible. X
Comment by Tori on August 19, 2017 at 6:43am
I lost my best friend 6/17/16 to a heroin overdose. I've noticed for me that the happiest times are the hardest. The milestones where you find yourself able to smile and laugh again are usually the most painful. The happier the occasion or the better I do in life in general the harder it is for me. Does anyone else feel this way? My sympathies to everyone greiving a loss of a loved one.
Comment by Nikki on July 7, 2017 at 11:57am
Hi B, I would highly recommend checking out Camp Kerry. It is a three night camp that helps families who have lost a loved one. There is an Atlantic one, so maybe it would be fairly close to you. The web address is http://campkerrysociety.org I attended last year with my three kids and we will be going again in September. If money is an issue, they will help you with the cost of attending. We also lost my kids dad to an overdose. Fentynal. Feb. 2016. I can't tell you it will ever get easier, but you do get stronger to carry the burden.
Comment by B.Windsor on July 6, 2017 at 5:54pm

What do you do when the anger sets in?  i really didn't think i'd have this immense surge of anger, especially when i can't pinpoint who, why, etc.  i know i feel at least some anger for my daughter, even though she's gone, simply because she's not physically here to see her son grow and mature.  But, whenever i try to focus on the anger, it tends to flow over and makes me feel like things will never get any better.  i just don't know how to process grief. Death has been present in my life, for as long as i can remember.  Processing it and healing have not really been at the top of the list to get through things, though.  Seems kinda backwards, i guess.  But, i've dealt with things as well as i've been able to....Now, since February 15th, i feel like i'm never going to find any truth, other than what i've read on the reports.  i'm so tired of the games people tend to play.  Shelby didn't deserve this and i guess i'll forever question when/how i went wrong.  So tired....

Comment by B.Windsor on May 15, 2017 at 6:46pm

My daughter, Shelby, died 15 Feb 2017 of an overdose from a variety of opiods.  These things are so dangerous, and it's so easy to get them.  Since i've been in Canada, my ex wasn't even going to let me know she'd died, but i guess someone must've convinced him to let me know, the day after.  There's a lot i still don't know, and probably never will.  i have to believe that the few months prior to February weren't a total lie, since we'd started reconnecting, or so i believed.  i didn't learn of her other overdoses, until after she was gone.  *sigh  So much unsaid, unknown, unfinished.  God, please help me get thru this!!!!!!

  Now, i've got to figure out what to do about my grandson, Shelby's 4-yr old son, in NC.  i can't exactly trust his father, since he's got a history of usage, as well...and i want my grandson to have a fighting chance at a decent life.  

Comment by Lynn Jantz on December 14, 2016 at 10:36pm
Tomorrow will be one month since I lost my 2nd brother to a drug overdose. My youngest brother overdosed in Oct 2014. I keep pretending to all that I am okay, holding it together for my parents and my daughter but I am so far from okay. I am so devastated and angry, especially having to deal with this a second time. I feel for everyone that has to go thru this. Fentanyl has so changed the odds in drug use and overdose and it is terrifying.
Comment by Marie Minnich on May 1, 2016 at 3:53pm

I am so sorry for everyones loss. In 2009 I lost my 32 year old daughter to a heroin overdose. My path of grief recovery has been long and sad, if there is such a thing as recovery. My first year I was suicidal. Because I am a writer, I have chronicled my journey in a memoir, "The Grief Chronicles: With You in My Eyes Like Flaming Flowers: The AfterMath of Death by Overdose", in hopes it might bring some hope and comfort to other families. It is of course available on Amazon, (who doesn't allow me to offer a coupon for a free copy), but I provide here a coupon for a free copy from my other distributor for a free ebook version at www.smashwords.com, code ZM57C  for anyone on this forum (please, only for members of this forum). I can say after 6 years, that things do improve somewhat. Yes, there will always be the waves of grief. Please remember remember that you will always be nurtured by the love that you carry for your beloved. Peace and strength. It does get better.

 

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Billy Jo Colt commented on Pamela philipp's blog post I need advice
"Hi Pamela, I can understand your situation as you aretorn between two worlds. Your daughter in her own way is trying to help you with your grieving process. She thinks that her way is the only way through your grief. It is also a confrontation you…"
19 minutes ago
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi Brett Your words give me hope that I will be with my mom someday. This is enough motivation to live.  Virginia, sometimes we do feel that God has done lot of injustice to us but if you look around there are people who suffer lot more than…"
1 hour ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Virginia, do you think I feel any joy right now? I don't. But I think about how much my mom loved me and how much it would hurt her if i harmed myself. She could not have led a happy life if she knew that was in my future. She would have held…"
4 hours ago
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Bluebird,   I always feel a spiritual kinship with what you write.  You were the first person here who when I started reading who was honest and told it like it was.  That hasn't changed and I truly believe that if anyone outside…"
7 hours ago
morgan commented on Pamela philipp's blog post I need advice
"Pamela, I may not be the best person to respond because U can get kind of feisty `but i am going to anyhow.  I will be at six years in January.  I have pictures of my husband all over my house.  I am still slowly going through boxes I…"
8 hours ago
Virginia G posted a discussion

What’s the point

Whats the point of living if there’s no happiness?  If you don’t care about anything except being with the person you lost...if everything is meaningless...if you can’t stand the pain or the numbness...if you don’t belong anywhere..if everything feels wrong...if you have no idea what to do about it...if you can’t get through the daySee More
9 hours ago
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"There’s no joy without her and I wouldn’t want any. its the only answer"
9 hours ago
Pamela philipp posted a blog post

I need advice

I have been very stressed and upset my daughter came back to my house for a while until she and her family gets on their feet which is not the problem the problem is she has made me get all the things that are important to me out of the house and put in the garage pictures mementos etc. because she thinks that I need to move on she said because it has been three years and she does not understand how she is upsetting me I don't want to be in this house like this anymore how do I make her…See More
13 hours ago
Denise Lavoie left a comment for Pamela philipp
"Hi everyone Scotishbrat here. We had our 1st snowfall Thursday. If Ron was here we would be out making a snowman laughing and throwing snowballs at each other.We did everything together.When he passedl felt so lost I still do its like half of me is…"
yesterday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Joe & Bluebird, Thanks for sharing you thoughts mine are exactly the same. I hate that I have to go on in this world. I have friends that our dying of cancer, I would trade places with them if I could. To endure my feelings I drink at least 6…"
yesterday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Virginia, you so often end your posts with something ominous. You are trying to say something and it is coming across loud and clear. Don't wish yourself dead. Try to live while you're alive. Find joy where you can. Never give up."
Saturday
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Some songs have popped into my head for no reason but that are appropriate.  I don’t even listen to the radio anymore so it’s not like I heard them recently.  I wasn’t trying to think of songs either.  First it was I…"
Saturday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I love the Doors. Jim Morrison is just the coolest. And I love that song. It's about feeling alone in a crowd. I can relate. Virginia, why would God tell you that you deserve to be alone? I think it is quite the opposite. You are telling…"
Saturday
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I am realizing the only people that truly love me are my family. So how am I expected to live without them?"
Saturday
bluebird replied to Kristen Harlow's discussion Feeling alone
"I agree, that is a big step. You should be proud of yourself for being able to take that step. ((((Hugs))))"
Saturday
Fran left a comment for Denise Lavoie
"Hello Scottishbrat. I just passed the 4 year mark of losing my husband. With him I felt complete. Now I just seem to be in limbo. I don't remember what  hobbies I used to enjoy. My life had been taking care of him and the 2 wonderful…"
Friday
Denise Lavoie commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi my name is scotishbrat this will be my 3rd holiday season with out my love.It is so hard to do anything.l have crying spells that are so intense it feels like l am going to die.Once l stary it could go on for hours and then l feel completely…"
Friday
Kristen Harlow replied to Kristen Harlow's discussion Feeling alone
"Such a good question. No, probably not. I've finally come to the place where I have accepted that I have to accept it's over. That feels like a big step."
Friday
bluebird replied to Kristen Harlow's discussion Feeling alone
"That is a lot of shit to deal with, all at once. It's good your sister is ok now.  If the man who you feel is your best friend and the love of your life were to come back now, do you think you would be ready to be with him now?"
Friday
bluebird commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"morgan, As usual, I identify so much with your post.  As you said, by burying our soulmates we buried ourselves. Why can't people understand that? If I had a child with my husband, I would feel some pull to live for that child. I felt that…"
Friday

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