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Comment by Martha on July 21, 2013 at 9:02am

Dear Kim:

What wonderful tips, and beautiful poem. You are gifted. Thank you on behalf of all of us.

~ ~ ~

Tip of the day:

As our energy is limited at this time due to our grief, do what is necessary, if possible. If you get the strength to do just one extra thing (let's say on the weekend), write it on your calendar. You can look back, and see that you were able to do that, and at times like this, that is a lot. 

Comment by Kim on July 20, 2013 at 7:50pm

I know you are trying to run that extra mile in the distance,

But know that, to get there you might meet some resistance.

Just because you feel like you are lying on the cold floor,

Doesn’t mean every opportunity met will be another closed door.

I know that you are just about ready to take your final bow,

Because you have taken all that your heart will allow.

I wish that you could see that bright on the other side,

But you are too busy watching the powers of the rising tides;

The waters are threatening to never release their hold on you,

And I know you believe you can’t make it through.

I just hope one day, your shattered heart

Will eventually be able to take one more shot in the dark.

If you stop searching for the light,

You’ll never see past the shadows and into the bright.

Fight through the troubles of your yesterday,

And start making room to pave your worry free today

The bad times will come by and be fast to go;

Each and every obstacle you face will be new chances to grow.

It doesn’t matter if you think you are down for the count,

Because you can always get back up and shout.

When you don’t think that you can reach it,

Know that the sky is always the limit.

Even if you think all you hope is forever gone,

I need you to know, that you can keep on keeping on.

Comment by Kim on July 20, 2013 at 7:46pm

Tips to help one cope with grief:

1). Find a support system:  This site provides a great support system so joining this site is a wonderful start to getting a support system. 

       Don't shut family or friends out. It is so easy to become aloof and distant.  Try not to do that.

       If your family and friends are unhelpful, find other people that are to surround yourself with.  It may take time for this to happen, but it will.  If you are still in school, speak with a teacher.  If you are in college, speak with a professor that you trust.  If you are an adult, coworkers may be helpful in your times of need.  Try going to a counselor or maybe a support group.

2). Don't bottle up your emotions: If you need to talk, talk.  If you need to cry, cry.  Don't pretend that things are fine; you will lull yourself into a false sense of security if you do this.  Bottling up your emotions will just lead to a huge explosion.  It's unhealthy to bottle everything up.  GET IT OUT!

3). Write:  Writing is a great release of emotions.  It is like you are purging your spirit with each word you write.

4). Get out of the house or your place of living: By going outside, you expose yourself to natures beauty and wonder.  It is very uplifting.  You'd be surprised how well you could feel just by getting outside and looking all around.

Comment by Martha on July 20, 2013 at 4:54pm

How beautiful to find beauty in every moment. Thank you Jo.

Comment by dream moon JO B on July 20, 2013 at 4:19pm

i enjoy catchbg life if i can

Comment by Martha on July 20, 2013 at 1:22pm

I make a point of buying a bunch of daisies, or other flowers place them in a nice vase and dedicate them to the one I love. Depending on one's budget from a beautiful arrangement to a single rose will do. Every time I walk by it, it makes me realize that the love remains. And, although there is pain, love is forever.

Comment by Martha on July 19, 2013 at 5:47pm

Dear friends:

Please excuse that I write "love one" rather than the grammatically correct "loved one". I refuse to think of my dear one in the past in any way, shape or form. My love is in the present, and future as well.

Now, a suggestion you might want to consider is:

When you are ready, find a recent photo, or one you like of our beloved ( I wanted to get it enlarged) either in your computer, or the old fashioned way of going to a photo shop and find a nice frame and put the photo in it. It will focus your mind on the way the person truly is, and not in the final days, and final hours. 

I did that after my father passed, and more recently when my mother passed. Now, when I look at their photos of a happier time with their beautiful smiles, I tell them I love them forever. (If someone is around, I just say it to myself).

It helps because it shifts our focus from the pain we feel to the realization that our love ones are watching over us as angels that they are now for us.

Comment by dream moon JO B on July 19, 2013 at 5:06pm

iv bean taking fotos for yrs but tak thngs off fotos of life is grt im now tryng to ctch thngs in th skuy art iv bean doig for yrs hrears 1 tip dmt mix acrilac paint or oils paint togerth it dnt work

Comment by anna l. on July 19, 2013 at 4:57pm

What has helped me over and over again is getting outside and walking.  Sometimes it is more like charging, and sometimes it is a reflective stroll.  I do not get the panic attacks as often now as I did a couple years ago so not so many charging up and down the street walks lately.  Many people I have talked to agree that exercise is helpful to them as well. 

Comment by Martha on July 19, 2013 at 9:39am

Exactly Mary Chris, this is what this group is about:

Positive coping strategies

You could not have said it better. Let's all post about that moment when we see a little ray of light, that moment of fleeting peace. Let's place close attention for it is God leading then showing us the way. And, that when shared becomes a sacred action of receiving and giving. Our soul's calling.

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