Dia -Ayesha
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  • India

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Consumed with grief
1 Reply

I lost my dearest , beloved mum on 22 july , 2013. She was the greatest love of my life. The greatest human being, the best mother. She was the epitome of love, purity, kindness, and all that is good…Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by Brittany Goodfellow Sep 20, 2013.

Mom's final days in ICU haunting me
3 Replies

I lost my beloved mum on 22 july , 2013. She had lupus and cardiomyopath since more than 14 years. She contracted malaria and was admitted to the ICU of a hospital here in INdia. In the past 1 year…Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by dream moon JO B Dec 6, 2013.

Need help. Depressed.
7 Replies

I lost my beloved mum july 22, 2013. My best friend, my soulmate, my biggest champion and cheerleader. She was wonderful, an ocean of love and kindness. She suffered tremendously for years with…Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by Dia -Ayesha Aug 26, 2013.


Today its 3 weeks since my beloved mum passed away. She was the kindest, most amazing mum and the greatest human being I know. I' m in a state of shock, sorrow and disbelief.My biggest fear was…Continue

Started Aug 12, 2013

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About my Loss:
I lost my beloved mother july 22 , 2013. She was my mum, my best friend, companion, my biggest cheerleader. She suffered from lupus and cardiomyopathy. For the past 14 years I was her primary caregiver. She was the epitome of love, beauty, grace and kindness. She was so kind, caring, pure hearted and noble. She had a heart of gold and never hurt a fly . Yet life was not kind to her. Apart from the ailments she suffered from she endured many injustices ,cruelty from many relatives , her siblings etc. She endured pain in life and in death . I feel shattered, heartbroken , grief stricken . Apart from the anguish I feel angry at God and at life for being unkind to her. I'm Indian and my faith is Hinduism . I find myself questioning God and my faith. She was devout and had an abiding faith in God . I feel miserable because life gave her a raw deal . My mission in life was to keep her healthy, happy and alive for the past 14 years. However the last few days were so bad. She was in ICU battling for her life and we faced unimaginBle cruelty at the hands of the hospital who were very callous in not letting us be with her during her stay there. My family and I felt guilty because we were always with her at home yet in her final days due to hospital rules and regulations we were kept away from her and saw verry little of her. This is eating me up inside. I feel broken, i ache , i weep for my ma ( indian word for mother). How am i supposed to live without her? How do i apologise to her for the callousness, cruelty of the hospital we took her to? Somebody please help me. This is the most painful, tragic, greatest loss ever.

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At 4:20pm on September 26, 2015, John Doe said…

Please I need to know if there is hope.

You are one year ahead of me is it still like hell?

At 9:43am on October 16, 2014, John Doe said…

How are you doing?

At 1:12pm on December 3, 2013, Survivor17 said…

Thank you Dia-Ayesha , Although everyones stories are so sad it does help me to know that I am not alone , at least on here anyways , I have read many of your posts and they have really touched me , I am sorry for all the pain you have had to endure. 

Thanks for your kind words , for being a friend and for joining my new little group. I know anxiety and depression are difficult to talk about but I was just hoping to get some insight as to if some other members are going through the same feelings they could share with me...  

At 2:03pm on October 22, 2013, pankaj bhatia said…

Dia.. I feel your pain as I lost my mother on Aug 19 2013 and believe me there's not a second I don't miss her she was the most precious thing I had in my life. Its been over more then 2 months I just can't believe I haven't talked to her for this long it feels like world has ended to me but I am still moving along feels like time is dragging me along with it. I dont know why it happens but I am sure gods need the good people and he takes it leaving us behind. Here's a video I made for my mom in her memories. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WdahZtJLSzI&feature=youtu.be 

At 4:54pm on October 14, 2013, Martha said…

Dear Dia:

You are going through the same that I went through last year with my beloved mother. My mother was my life. You will make it through this. If I did, anyone can for sure. Do not blame God, we all chose our life path, the more difficult the life, the more advanced the soul is. Try to read the book "Journey of Souls" by Michael Newton, it did me good. Your mother is a much better place than this, she is with all our mothers that have passed over and with their families that have passed, as well. You will see in due time that the suffering turns into a deeper understanding of the spiritual, and you will feel the Peace of God all around you. Your mother lives on, the soul is immortal. It took me over a year to have the energy to look for this site even though a good friend told me to do so for months. Look at you, you are here, doing all the right things. Have faith in yourself. I have.

At 10:51pm on September 24, 2013, Eliza said…
Hi Dia,

I read you post and I wanted to reach out to you. Know that there are many people here who understand your pain. I lost my amazing mother to pancreatic cancer in December 2012. For the first few months following her death, I was in deep shock. Then grief emerged full force and it was raw, searing, and deeply painful. It has been nearly ten months now, and I can tell you that with time, the pain lessens. The timing is very personal to everyone. Know that you have every right to experience your grief, and ignore those who tell you to "get over it." Take all the time you need. Cry, scream, or beat your pillow. Talk to your mom (I do all the time). Grief at times can feel almost crazy or scary, but know that (unfortunately) this is part of the process. And share your grief with those who can understand. I found that going to a grief counselor helped me in the first days, weeks, months. I know that the concept of moving through grief likely feels very abstract right now, but know that you are strong and you will get through this. Sending you hugs. Feel free to message me anytime.
At 8:03am on August 29, 2013, Vasanthi S said…

Dia, thanks for yourreply-- u can always message me -- i think when u come to my page there is something that says send message-- and that is private or u can call me anytime-- tk care, love

At 7:39am on August 25, 2013, Vasanthi S said…

Dia, I saw your message and feel for you. I think the best thing is that she knows how much you love her and she loves you, so that is one thing that can't be taken away. You also know that it is the body which dies and nothing else so being an Indian go by the words of Sri Krishna who time and again has said " do not grieve  for that which is not to be grieved for" 'as the body is just an instrument we use to contact the world and it is our field of action. Understand this very clearly, so clearly that you will feel the fog lifting. Know that your mother already knows all that you want to say and is always loving you. Know that she is now free of any pain for " atma knows no grief".... and cherish your wonderful memories. My only son's death was the hardest blow any one can get and yet i hang on to the wisdom passed down through the ages in all cultures and languages-- they are not talking rubbish so again hold on to love and let everything else go. How old are you Dia? would you like to talk to me on the phone? if so my number is 9820263791 and i will be more than happy to talk to you. Are you working? In your work try tomake your life useful and of service to others-- this is the best medicine sweetheart.. love to you.

At 8:54am on August 23, 2013, Vasanthi S said…

Dia , hope u r doing a little better-- do message-- where do you stay , I'm in new b'bay.. take care

At 10:35am on August 16, 2013, Vasanthi S said…

Dear Dia,

Sorry for my late response. Please cherish those lovely moments you have had with your mother. Mother's never need apologies.. she understands so you can rest easy on that score.. love to you.. 



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