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About my Loss:
I lost my mother about 11 months ago to a 2 year battle with bladder cancer. She was only 53 when she passed away. I am 25 years old and I feel like I've lost half my world. She was my best friend. And I'm having an awfully hard time.

Alexandra's Blog

Moving Forward

I've been at the same job for over 6 years. My coworkers and management were there for me through my mom's illness and death. Today is my last day at this job. I start a brand new one on Monday. I'm having a hard time with it, as it's like letting go of my security blanket. I feel like this is a step in moving forward with life after my mother. I don't think I was mentally or emotionally prepared for this. It needs to be done, but that doesn't change the fact that it's really difficult.

Posted on November 1, 2013 at 11:11am — 1 Comment


I haven't been on here in a little while. I'm not sure why. I've been having a really hard time lately, and for what reason, I'm not really sure why either. In about 2 months, it will be a full year since my mom passed away. I've been at the same job for a few years now, and they were amazing to me when I went through my mom's sickness and death. But I'm not happy there. But for whatever reason, I can't seem to find another job. I lived with my parents through college to save money, and…


Posted on September 26, 2013 at 11:08pm — 1 Comment

Grief Chat

Today, I took part in the chat room feature on this site. It was really nice to talk with people casually about our moms. We discussed how we were feeling today, and shared memories and ideas with each other. I think this site will definitely be a difference maker in my life.

Posted on August 31, 2013 at 10:15pm — 1 Comment

Falling Apart

I joined this online community to see what other people are writing. While it does help to write something and have people respond and say encouraging things back to me, or even just reading other people's posts, I have a hard time writing anything back. I want to give people all of those same encouraging words, but I can't. I can't even get my own life together. I've gained a decent amount of weight. I have zero motivation to eat healthy or work out. And I've gotten angry. It's been 9…


Posted on August 30, 2013 at 8:09pm — 3 Comments

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At 10:50pm on August 23, 2013, Eliza said…
Hi Alexandra,

My mom was sick for 16 months before she passed. She passed three weeks before Christmas, so like you, we've already been through our first Christmas, Mother's Day, parents' anniversary, and her birthday without her. Sigh. I'm afraid I don't have any advice for you about your dad and his engagement...though I wonder how I would feel if/when my dad dates again or remarries. Maybe talk to your dad about how you're feeling? Or do you see a grief counselor? I would imagine they might have some good advice. Hang in there.
At 11:22pm on August 11, 2013, Alexandra said…
It sure is, Eliza. How long was your mom sick? I just joined this recently, because I'm hoping it will help by talking to people like you. I knew it was going to be hard, but I guess I hadn't anticipated it hurting this much still, 8-9 months later. She passed the day before thanksgiving last year. So we have already had our first Christmas without her, her birthday, my parents 30th anniversary, and Mother's Day. I'm dreading the day it hits 1 year. My dad met a woman in March and they're already engaged. I've heard that men move quickly after a loss, but I feel like he's not even upset over her death anymore. Any advice?
At 10:42pm on August 11, 2013, Eliza said…
Hi Alexandra,

I understand the anger and pain you feel over the loss of your mom. I, too, lost my mom to cancer (pancreatic), this past December. On some days, I get so sad/mad when I think of the fact that she's gone. It's a tough road, isn't it? Sending you hugs.


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"Sorry to hear of your loss. Taking baby step and present moment living will help, along with your family and close friends."
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Sue M commented on Kar's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Hello to all of you who are here for the same unimaginable reason as I am. I found this website last night after another night of going to bed where instead of sleep, pain sets in that I was able to escape from all day by being busy. Jess's…"
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Missing my Son or Daughter

For all of us that are suffering the loss a son or daughter.See More
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Jan 14
Profile IconSue M and Christine joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Jan 14
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Joe, I have seven tattoos one for each year Julian has been gone. It is my way of honoring him  People make fun of me saying I am too old (71) to have them. Glad to hear I am not the only one still honoring their spouse after death."
Jan 13
Serenity replied to Linda Engberg's discussion Ending my Life
" suicide yourself there us no place for you in heaven. You will find yourself again and life will go on without your dearly departed. Learn to love yourself find what you like to do there has to something. Think of it like this he…"
Jan 12
Serenity replied to Elynn m's discussion Lonely again
"It is a tradgedy to lose a loved one. But it does get better. Not everyday will be the same some days burn to the core more than others. Find a hobby or volunteer or help someone basically find something to do to ease the monotony of the day. In…"
Jan 12
Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Thank you Linda.  It's beautiful for you to had done that.  I have tattoo of our names in a heart.  I wear two sets of our wedding bands on both pinkys and ring fingers.  We're still married and always will be forever.…"
Jan 12
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Joe, What a beautiful post. I have a tattoo on my shoulder of both our hands on our wedding day. I added my own words. God be with you."
Jan 12
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Jan 12
Rick Rilloraza left a comment for morgan
"Yes I still miss her terribly.  I am still sad and angry.  I was left with two boys ages 12 and 8 at that time.  What kept me going was making sure they were provided for and raised well.  I still have full on bawls when the…"
Jan 11
Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Reliving two years ago.  Ten days till She took Her last exhaling breath in my arms.  She went knowing that we will be together forever and it can't come soon enough for me. Till then:"
Jan 11
morgan left a comment for Rick Rilloraza
"Rick, I am curious because I am within a week of being a widow of seven years how you are doing it allotter eight years?  Today, and more often lately (lets say for about the past six months) I have become more angry and more hateful of having…"
Jan 9

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