Alexandra
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  • United States
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About my Loss:
I lost my mother about 11 months ago to a 2 year battle with bladder cancer. She was only 53 when she passed away. I am 25 years old and I feel like I've lost half my world. She was my best friend. And I'm having an awfully hard time.

Alexandra's Blog

Moving Forward

I've been at the same job for over 6 years. My coworkers and management were there for me through my mom's illness and death. Today is my last day at this job. I start a brand new one on Monday. I'm having a hard time with it, as it's like letting go of my security blanket. I feel like this is a step in moving forward with life after my mother. I don't think I was mentally or emotionally prepared for this. It needs to be done, but that doesn't change the fact that it's really difficult.

Posted on November 1, 2013 at 11:11am — 1 Comment

Hurting

I haven't been on here in a little while. I'm not sure why. I've been having a really hard time lately, and for what reason, I'm not really sure why either. In about 2 months, it will be a full year since my mom passed away. I've been at the same job for a few years now, and they were amazing to me when I went through my mom's sickness and death. But I'm not happy there. But for whatever reason, I can't seem to find another job. I lived with my parents through college to save money, and…

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Posted on September 26, 2013 at 11:08pm — 1 Comment

Grief Chat

Today, I took part in the chat room feature on this site. It was really nice to talk with people casually about our moms. We discussed how we were feeling today, and shared memories and ideas with each other. I think this site will definitely be a difference maker in my life.

Posted on August 31, 2013 at 10:15pm — 1 Comment

Falling Apart

I joined this online community to see what other people are writing. While it does help to write something and have people respond and say encouraging things back to me, or even just reading other people's posts, I have a hard time writing anything back. I want to give people all of those same encouraging words, but I can't. I can't even get my own life together. I've gained a decent amount of weight. I have zero motivation to eat healthy or work out. And I've gotten angry. It's been 9…

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Posted on August 30, 2013 at 8:09pm — 3 Comments

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At 10:50pm on August 23, 2013, Eliza said…
Hi Alexandra,

My mom was sick for 16 months before she passed. She passed three weeks before Christmas, so like you, we've already been through our first Christmas, Mother's Day, parents' anniversary, and her birthday without her. Sigh. I'm afraid I don't have any advice for you about your dad and his engagement...though I wonder how I would feel if/when my dad dates again or remarries. Maybe talk to your dad about how you're feeling? Or do you see a grief counselor? I would imagine they might have some good advice. Hang in there.
At 11:22pm on August 11, 2013, Alexandra said…
It sure is, Eliza. How long was your mom sick? I just joined this recently, because I'm hoping it will help by talking to people like you. I knew it was going to be hard, but I guess I hadn't anticipated it hurting this much still, 8-9 months later. She passed the day before thanksgiving last year. So we have already had our first Christmas without her, her birthday, my parents 30th anniversary, and Mother's Day. I'm dreading the day it hits 1 year. My dad met a woman in March and they're already engaged. I've heard that men move quickly after a loss, but I feel like he's not even upset over her death anymore. Any advice?
At 10:42pm on August 11, 2013, Eliza said…
Hi Alexandra,

I understand the anger and pain you feel over the loss of your mom. I, too, lost my mom to cancer (pancreatic), this past December. On some days, I get so sad/mad when I think of the fact that she's gone. It's a tough road, isn't it? Sending you hugs.
 
 
 

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