You're too young to be a widow

Information

You're too young to be a widow

I never thought that I would be a widow in my forties.  My friends can't relate and feel the need to comment on everything, even if they have no experience with grief.  I know they mean well but only we know what we are going though.

Members: 118
Latest Activity: Nov 16, 2016

Discussion Forum

People can be so heartless sometimes 7 Replies

I know that, people dont know how to deal with the passing of a loved one, especially when they are young and we are young, but the hardest comment I have had to endure since the passing of my…Continue

Started by ShingingLight1967. Last reply by Louise Oct 27, 2016.

So lost - he was taken from me at 52 3 Replies

I woke up last Friday, 8/5 to find my husband gone. He passed overnight of a heart attack. It was completely unexpected. We had a good evening the night before and it was the last thing I would have…Continue

Started by Angie. Last reply by ShingingLight1967 Oct 15, 2016.

Engaged, but never made it to the altar... 3 Replies

I lost my fiancee from a massive heart attack - the "widow maker." While not married yet, this was the man I was going to spend the rest of my life with.  I'm 42, and he was 38.  We had just picked…Continue

Started by Chrystine Anderson. Last reply by ShingingLight1967 Oct 10, 2016.

Feeling Alone 1 Reply

I'm about to lose my mother. She has been battling terminal cancer for sixteen months. I can barely stand the wait for the day she dies. When she does I have to attend two funerals in two states. My…Continue

Started by Susan Johnson. Last reply by Copper "Charlie" Aug 31, 2016.

Comment Wall

Comment

You need to be a member of You're too young to be a widow to add comments!

Comment by Eliza Boyd on November 16, 2016 at 8:49am

My husband, my Superman, has been gone 2 mos now.  Never thought he'd be gone at the age of 46 and leave behind myself, 48, to raise our 12 yr old daughter alone.  It's nice having our 19 yr old son back at home.  He's a great help.  Yesterday was the first time I've been physically ill.  The kids did a great job of taking care of me, but it just hurt because this was the first time he wasn't there to make it better.

Comment by Jessie on October 1, 2016 at 9:19pm

I lost my husband 1 month ago today the shock is lifting but the sadness is overwhelming. At 48 it is hard to believe I won't  hear him calling me Honey, rubbing my hair until I fall asleep, bring me home a bottle of wine just because ther are so many things that were just so simple that meant so much. My heart is forever broken.

Comment by Amy Ginn on August 29, 2016 at 11:18pm
Cooper Charlie- I've been waiting to be approved hoping I could find you again!!!! I was 22 my husband was 42 when we met. It truly was love at first sight. you and I are so much alike. Cliff had an abdominal aortic aneurysm & thoracic aortic aneurysm. Did your hubby take levaquin? We are in that big suit with those antibiotic makes because he was healthy until he took a lot of that antibiotic. Like you, I am eager to paint my bedroom rearrange it new bedding. This current bedroom has 5 years of hell in it. Not one moment of love because we couldn't be intimate the last 5 years. I spent 34-39 completely alone, physically. Then it became mentally as he decreseed. But he was my true souls mate. It's been only 8 weeks. He made me promise to "move on" to find happiness because it was my turn after all I had sacrificed for him. I did sacrifice but I made that choice. I did what j wanted to do. And that was love and care for him. Seriously if u haven't get a lawyer NOW for the TAA since it sounds like it ruputured. Go to drug watch.com or baddrug.com they list the 56 antibiotics in this group of antibiotics that cause TAA's. I knew the fear you felt. Like your man was a ticking time bomb. Because they were. All I can say is at least he went quickly and perhaps didn't suffer long. My husband suffered hard for 2 years. We all did I do hope to talk with you more maybe privately. I can see we have a lot to share. God bless u and your family. Your new friend, Amy
Comment by Copper "Charlie" on August 18, 2016 at 6:44pm

Angie

I'm so sorry.  The sympathy cards I got, I just put them away.  My sister-in-law went through them to make sure there was no money or anything, which some people did give me.  But I couldn't read them for months.  Actually, I don't even know if I did force myself to read them, to be honest.  I stored them in a box and I'm not even sure where the box is.  Just know you're not alone here.  Hugz!

Comment by Angie on August 18, 2016 at 3:14pm
I completely understand. My husband has only been gone 2 weeks tomorrow and I don't know how I will survive. I miss him and love him so much. It's this horrible roller coaster. I went back to work this week but can hardly focus. I cry myself to sleep, wake up looking for him. And it is so hard to make the calls to cancel his accounts. I've never hurt so bad in my life.. Today I got more sympathy cards in the mail and I just started crying...
Comment by Copper "Charlie" on August 18, 2016 at 2:15pm

Hello.  It's been one year and five days for me since my husband of 13 years passed away.  I was 41 when he died and he was 55.  It was unexpected, like many of you...an abdominal aortic aneurism.  He called me to him in the bedroom and 45 minutes later, he was gone.  I'm so grateful we had the 13 years, but at the same time I'm like...it was supposed to be more!!  He was my everything and even after a year, I'm just going through the motions.  I had to get new furniture and rearrange the bedroom and living room because the memories were just too strong of those 45 minutes.  It helped.  But the memories still haunt me.  Even with my daughters (22 years and 19 years) living in the house, I feel more alone that I ever have.  Mostly, I just sit and do nothing but stare at the walls.  I'm disabled, so I don't really have much of anything to distract me the majority of the time.  He was my everything and I...miss...him!!!

Comment by Maria Gutierrez on August 15, 2016 at 9:05pm
My boyfriend passed on April 17. We were together for 11 years and were planning on marrying after his ex finally agreed to give him the divorce. He filed the divorce papers on April 14, just 3 days after he was murdered. I found about his death on the news and at the beginning police filed it as an accident but less than a month ago they said that he was murdered. I always thought we would grow old and joked about the illnesses that we would probably develop being elderly. I was his princess and he would do anything and everything me. Foot rubs, taking care of me when sick, Sunday breakfasts in bed, shopping (yes, he was very patient and always was honest about colors and fitting) we cooked and spent a lot of time together besides the time you get to spent wheb you live together! I never expected to be a widow just 2 days after my 40th birthday. I didn't know living without him was going to be this hard. I never imagined that I would feel so lost and helpless and angry and empty. I feel that my soul died with him ...
Comment by Shannon Thorn on August 6, 2016 at 5:09pm

It's been longer for me than some of you.  I married at 18 (was with him from when I was 14) and was widowed at 27 (and he was a murder victim so it was unexpected to say the least....).  It'll be seven years on New Year's Eve.  That said, it some days it seems okay without him and then five minutes later it seems like it hurts more now than when he first died; if that makes any sense at all. 

Before his death and the series of shit relationships I got myself into, I was an expert mountain climber; to the extent that the only major summit out of the seven I haven't finished is Mt. Everest--that one I broke my spine on about 3000 feet away and I am lucky I survived.  I don't like talking about it much--but my climbing partner went blind from his eyes freezing and the ropes didn't get set up right and we were both hallucinating all sorts of crazy stuff I'll never speak of at that point from the extreme alititude. 

Well long story short, last night I moved wrong in my sleep and it triggered reliving that whole thing.  It is days like these that I want my husband, even all these years later I want the one person who understood my need to do insane adventures like that.  The man that even when I hadn't healed enough to walk just brushed my hair while I ranted about how Mt. Everest doesn't own me, I will do it again and then I am going to do K2.  Now all that's left are people who think I was insane that I ever made the attempt; let alone that I eventually want to do it again.  Then there's all the happy relationships I see...some people can move on easier than I can.  Me, I haven't found anyone even all these years later that I even want to know my favorite movie let alone exactly how bad I want back up there.  Anyway, thanks for listening and sorry to everyone else for their loss.   

Comment by So Sad on August 6, 2016 at 4:47pm
  • Im widowed at 31 we were only married for 6 months before he was murdered....so lost

Comment by Angela renteria on August 3, 2016 at 8:29pm

My husband passed June 18th of this year. We were together 17 years and have four young children. Each day is just another day without him and I hate it .I just want him back , I just want the trivia challenges we had, his guitar and singing that would go into the night. Sneaking in movies just for the fun of it. I just miss him, everything about him .I hate to admit this but I really dislike being around couples . Couples around my age or older couples because they have something I never will. Most likely my friends will grow old together. They will look back on memories together. All me and my children will have is memories and for my youngest who is 1 year , he won't even have that.

 

Members (118)

 
 
 

Latest Activity

Ann Brooks updated their profile
7 hours ago
Julia A. and Tonya are now friends
14 hours ago
Paula Marie commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"It will soon be four years since I lost my mom and today the grief is worse than ever ... I wonder will it ever go away ... and do I even want it to go? I don't mind the constant sadness, but it often becomes so overwhelming in it's…"
15 hours ago
Richard Rivera replied to Richard Rivera's discussion MY BELOVED WIFE DIED DECEMBER 2ND in the group Lost My Spouse...
"I got back from the hospital. I checked in and I was there for several hours. the results came back and the doctor told me that chest x-ray came clean and that my bloodwork is normal. Also my EKG also showed no abnormalities. in short, I am a…"
18 hours ago
Tanya commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Nancy, grieving is hard work because at some point you have to pick yourself up.  So your emotions go up and down.  Thankfully between my daughter and work, I'm busy.  That helps otherwise I would be a mess.  The finality of…"
20 hours ago
Nancy Dynes commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Theresa, YES!! I almost forgot about this but I used to do the same thing. We would be out for dinner and I'd see a daughter with her elderly mother, and I just kept looking at them thinking how lucky she was to still have her mom. Looking…"
23 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Thank you Nancy yes I wished that we lived closer also it would be great to talk with you Bluebell, it took me sometime to go shopping, mostly because of panic and anxiety attacks that take over, but I did and still do the same thing I would look at…"
yesterday
Nancy Dynes commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Tanya, I just read your post from yesterday. You are SO right!! I have some clothing of my mom's tucked away that I am keeping. One piece is a shirt she used to wear in the 60's that I remember so clearly from when I was a little girl. I…"
yesterday
Nancy Dynes commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I'm so sorry, Theresa. It's too bad the lot of us don't live nearer together so we could meet and support one another. One thing I've learned through this is that there are people in our lives who can be thoughtless and…"
yesterday
Nancy Dynes commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Bluebell, I can relate so well to this. I can't tell you how many times I have said and felt these exact same things. I'd see a recipe that looked good and start to call my mom to tell her about it, I'd create a piece of art but she…"
yesterday
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I went out shopping with a friend today. When I saw a pretty wind chime, I found myself thinking "Mom would like that". But there is no more Mom to get presents for. I miss her. I want her back. I wish this was all a very long, horrible…"
yesterday
catherine bailey commented on Jodi Denton's group Traumatic loss of an only child
"It really helps to communicate with others who have experienced the same loss, so thanks to all who answered my post.  Lenny, Connie and Kim - we all understand each other.  Today was a better day for me - some days are like that.…"
yesterday
Lenny commented on Jodi Denton's group Traumatic loss of an only child
"Dear Connie, Katherine and Kim I fully understand the bereft feelings and I also have been anxious about precious moments of our daughters and where they will end up when we pass. The pain of losing our only child never ends , even when we appear to…"
yesterday
Connie K commented on Jodi Denton's group Traumatic loss of an only child
"Dear Catherine I feel the very same way. I have everything form my son's baby things, through elementary and high school. He died at age 17 and never got to even graduate, drive a car by himself, well you know....I have things of mine I wanted…"
yesterday
cin po commented on Valentina Jolley's blog post Letter to you; my other half in heaven
"I too have regrets and your post deeply resonated with me. I wish I spent more time with him. I wished I laughed more with him. I wish I talked to him more. It's too late now.  I will never be the same. I am trying to help myself in little…"
yesterday
cin po left a comment for Fran
"Hi Fran, I am forced to do all of these things as quick as I can because I have to go back to work soon. I am trying to finish all of the paperwork. I was forced to do things quickly even though I am so emotionally distraught. My world stopped when…"
yesterday
cin po commented on cin po's blog post Talking to people about my loss & grief helps me
"Hi Jewels, I am so sad that your husband died a sudden death. My partner and I had a conversation about what's the worst thing that could happen to him. We talked about it for hours and we cried a lot that night. In a way we were saying…"
yesterday
kim commented on Jodi Denton's group Traumatic loss of an only child
"Catherine, I to lost my only child my son in 2014. im not doing good, I pray to die everyday. theres no life with out my son for me.  shawn is the love of my life.  my depression is getting worse, my loneliness emptiness.  im so very…"
yesterday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Heather, yes I do, I have no one, my husband doesn't even want to hear me talk about it, he ignores me when I do I have not had a dream about her yet To me it seems like everyone thinks I should just move on, but I'm not ready, I have…"
Thursday
Heather commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I do the same thing, at least several times a day. My Mom was a diabetic so I had to take the used testing strips back to the pharmacy the other day. I actually sat In the car hugging it, something of hers that I have to let go of and it made me so…"
Thursday

© 2017   Created by Diana, Grief Counselor.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service