You're too young to be a widow


You're too young to be a widow

I never thought that I would be a widow in my forties.  My friends can't relate and feel the need to comment on everything, even if they have no experience with grief.  I know they mean well but only we know what we are going though.

Members: 117
Latest Activity: on Thursday

Discussion Forum

People can be so heartless sometimes 5 Replies

I know that, people dont know how to deal with the passing of a loved one, especially when they are young and we are young, but the hardest comment I have had to endure since the passing of my…Continue

Started by ShingingLight1967. Last reply by Angela renteria Oct 16.

So lost - he was taken from me at 52 3 Replies

I woke up last Friday, 8/5 to find my husband gone. He passed overnight of a heart attack. It was completely unexpected. We had a good evening the night before and it was the last thing I would have…Continue

Started by Angie. Last reply by ShingingLight1967 Oct 15.

Engaged, but never made it to the altar... 3 Replies

I lost my fiancee from a massive heart attack - the "widow maker." While not married yet, this was the man I was going to spend the rest of my life with.  I'm 42, and he was 38.  We had just picked…Continue

Started by Chrystine Anderson. Last reply by ShingingLight1967 Oct 10.

Feeling Alone 1 Reply

I'm about to lose my mother. She has been battling terminal cancer for sixteen months. I can barely stand the wait for the day she dies. When she does I have to attend two funerals in two states. My…Continue

Started by Susan Johnson. Last reply by Copper "Charlie" Aug 31.

Comment Wall


You need to be a member of You're too young to be a widow to add comments!

Comment by Jessie on October 1, 2016 at 9:19pm

I lost my husband 1 month ago today the shock is lifting but the sadness is overwhelming. At 48 it is hard to believe I won't  hear him calling me Honey, rubbing my hair until I fall asleep, bring me home a bottle of wine just because ther are so many things that were just so simple that meant so much. My heart is forever broken.

Comment by Amy Ginn on August 29, 2016 at 11:18pm
Cooper Charlie- I've been waiting to be approved hoping I could find you again!!!! I was 22 my husband was 42 when we met. It truly was love at first sight. you and I are so much alike. Cliff had an abdominal aortic aneurysm & thoracic aortic aneurysm. Did your hubby take levaquin? We are in that big suit with those antibiotic makes because he was healthy until he took a lot of that antibiotic. Like you, I am eager to paint my bedroom rearrange it new bedding. This current bedroom has 5 years of hell in it. Not one moment of love because we couldn't be intimate the last 5 years. I spent 34-39 completely alone, physically. Then it became mentally as he decreseed. But he was my true souls mate. It's been only 8 weeks. He made me promise to "move on" to find happiness because it was my turn after all I had sacrificed for him. I did sacrifice but I made that choice. I did what j wanted to do. And that was love and care for him. Seriously if u haven't get a lawyer NOW for the TAA since it sounds like it ruputured. Go to drug or they list the 56 antibiotics in this group of antibiotics that cause TAA's. I knew the fear you felt. Like your man was a ticking time bomb. Because they were. All I can say is at least he went quickly and perhaps didn't suffer long. My husband suffered hard for 2 years. We all did I do hope to talk with you more maybe privately. I can see we have a lot to share. God bless u and your family. Your new friend, Amy
Comment by Copper "Charlie" on August 18, 2016 at 6:44pm


I'm so sorry.  The sympathy cards I got, I just put them away.  My sister-in-law went through them to make sure there was no money or anything, which some people did give me.  But I couldn't read them for months.  Actually, I don't even know if I did force myself to read them, to be honest.  I stored them in a box and I'm not even sure where the box is.  Just know you're not alone here.  Hugz!

Comment by Angie on August 18, 2016 at 3:14pm
I completely understand. My husband has only been gone 2 weeks tomorrow and I don't know how I will survive. I miss him and love him so much. It's this horrible roller coaster. I went back to work this week but can hardly focus. I cry myself to sleep, wake up looking for him. And it is so hard to make the calls to cancel his accounts. I've never hurt so bad in my life.. Today I got more sympathy cards in the mail and I just started crying...
Comment by Copper "Charlie" on August 18, 2016 at 2:15pm

Hello.  It's been one year and five days for me since my husband of 13 years passed away.  I was 41 when he died and he was 55.  It was unexpected, like many of abdominal aortic aneurism.  He called me to him in the bedroom and 45 minutes later, he was gone.  I'm so grateful we had the 13 years, but at the same time I'm was supposed to be more!!  He was my everything and even after a year, I'm just going through the motions.  I had to get new furniture and rearrange the bedroom and living room because the memories were just too strong of those 45 minutes.  It helped.  But the memories still haunt me.  Even with my daughters (22 years and 19 years) living in the house, I feel more alone that I ever have.  Mostly, I just sit and do nothing but stare at the walls.  I'm disabled, so I don't really have much of anything to distract me the majority of the time.  He was my everything and I...miss...him!!!

Comment by Maria Gutierrez on August 15, 2016 at 9:05pm
My boyfriend passed on April 17. We were together for 11 years and were planning on marrying after his ex finally agreed to give him the divorce. He filed the divorce papers on April 14, just 3 days after he was murdered. I found about his death on the news and at the beginning police filed it as an accident but less than a month ago they said that he was murdered. I always thought we would grow old and joked about the illnesses that we would probably develop being elderly. I was his princess and he would do anything and everything me. Foot rubs, taking care of me when sick, Sunday breakfasts in bed, shopping (yes, he was very patient and always was honest about colors and fitting) we cooked and spent a lot of time together besides the time you get to spent wheb you live together! I never expected to be a widow just 2 days after my 40th birthday. I didn't know living without him was going to be this hard. I never imagined that I would feel so lost and helpless and angry and empty. I feel that my soul died with him ...
Comment by Shannon Thorn on August 6, 2016 at 5:09pm

It's been longer for me than some of you.  I married at 18 (was with him from when I was 14) and was widowed at 27 (and he was a murder victim so it was unexpected to say the least....).  It'll be seven years on New Year's Eve.  That said, it some days it seems okay without him and then five minutes later it seems like it hurts more now than when he first died; if that makes any sense at all. 

Before his death and the series of shit relationships I got myself into, I was an expert mountain climber; to the extent that the only major summit out of the seven I haven't finished is Mt. Everest--that one I broke my spine on about 3000 feet away and I am lucky I survived.  I don't like talking about it much--but my climbing partner went blind from his eyes freezing and the ropes didn't get set up right and we were both hallucinating all sorts of crazy stuff I'll never speak of at that point from the extreme alititude. 

Well long story short, last night I moved wrong in my sleep and it triggered reliving that whole thing.  It is days like these that I want my husband, even all these years later I want the one person who understood my need to do insane adventures like that.  The man that even when I hadn't healed enough to walk just brushed my hair while I ranted about how Mt. Everest doesn't own me, I will do it again and then I am going to do K2.  Now all that's left are people who think I was insane that I ever made the attempt; let alone that I eventually want to do it again.  Then there's all the happy relationships I see...some people can move on easier than I can.  Me, I haven't found anyone even all these years later that I even want to know my favorite movie let alone exactly how bad I want back up there.  Anyway, thanks for listening and sorry to everyone else for their loss.   

Comment by So Sad on August 6, 2016 at 4:47pm
  • Im widowed at 31 we were only married for 6 months before he was lost

Comment by Angela renteria on August 3, 2016 at 8:29pm

My husband passed June 18th of this year. We were together 17 years and have four young children. Each day is just another day without him and I hate it .I just want him back , I just want the trivia challenges we had, his guitar and singing that would go into the night. Sneaking in movies just for the fun of it. I just miss him, everything about him .I hate to admit this but I really dislike being around couples . Couples around my age or older couples because they have something I never will. Most likely my friends will grow old together. They will look back on memories together. All me and my children will have is memories and for my youngest who is 1 year , he won't even have that.

Comment by Calanfranca on January 28, 2016 at 11:11pm
I am a young widow. My husband of 16 years passed at age 43 of cancer leaving behind myself and our daughter. She is still very young. He died in my arms...I'm miserable. It's been yrs, I'm still miserable. On antidepressants, anti anxiety, and gained 30 pounds. I'm obsessed with dying now.

Members (117)


Latest Activity

AnneJ commented on Renee Widow's status
2 hours ago
AnneJ replied to Linda Engberg's discussion Ending my Life
"Now there is the finest picture that could ever be hoped for. Look at you two. The garden, the sun, tall and healthy and strong and the hot waves fairly swirling around this couple like the steam off a fresh cup of lovely coffee. WoW."
2 hours ago
Renee Widow posted a status
"He was supposed to be with me tonight..."
3 hours ago
AnneJ commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Morgan, I moved some files around on my computer the other day and I have one called "Deeply Morgan". No one on earth would ever know what that means except us, here, who listen to and with you. I've saved some that have struck me…"
3 hours ago
Leslie posted a blog post

Halloween and Spirits

I posted this on Facebook and thought it should be shared here as well. Finally going to say this that has been on my mind for over a week now. I want to give you my take on Halloween. Did you know that zombies and ghosts that everyone will be dressing up and pretending to be are nothing like their real life counterparts? You see, zombies and ghosts do exist in everyday life. Want zombies? They bare little resemblance to their fictional counterparts.Then head over to any memory care or rest…See More
4 hours ago
Cheryl m. posted a status
"Trying to is not genuine. Wanting to enjoy a cup of tea...canr.. just breathing in... breathing out... knowing I'm not alone.."
4 hours ago
Cheryl m. posted a status
"Family is looking at a video...I just have no interest... I stay away on the couch.. trying not to figure out why I am so sad... I know."
4 hours ago
Barbara Kerwin replied to Kevin Bailey's discussion I lost my beautiful wife on October 5 2016 in the group Lost My Spouse...
"I just hit the one year mark last Friday, and, believe me, we here on this site understand your pain. You will now go through some very difficult days, and only you will understand the intense pain, sadness, and loneliness that goes with losing your…"
4 hours ago
morgan posted a status
"Liz, I just tried to start chat with you. Are you there?"
6 hours ago
bluebird replied to Linda Engberg's discussion Ending my Life
"Linda, Babie J is adorable.  :)"
6 hours ago
Liz Marotz posted a status
"I feel like just being able to share with someone who will listen tonight. I'm having dark thoughts right now. Is this all I will know?"
6 hours ago
Leslie posted a status
"My thoughts keeps giving me pictures of him just walking in my front door today as if he was finally finished with his scooter trip. Dammit!"
7 hours ago
Trina Mamoon replied to Kevin Bailey's discussion I lost my beautiful wife on October 5 2016 in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Kevin, My deepest condolences to you on the loss of your beautiful wife. Losing one's beloved spouse is one of the most painful of all human experiences and now you are faced with it. It's an experience that no one should have to go…"
10 hours ago
Linda Engberg replied to Linda Engberg's discussion Ending my Life
"Hi Morgan, Thanks for your input, sometimes I wonder how I have lasted so long after Julian's death. Everyday I asked the Lord to take me but no dice. I do have a beautiful little dog Babie J would fills my heart with joy, so I live for her."
10 hours ago
Mare commented on Mare's blog post Emotional Support Dog
"I've just been trying to visit her at my mom's house for now. She might come back to live with me eventually. I am a graduate student and do not have the time to get another dog or puppy and train them."
10 hours ago
bluebird replied to Marie'sGirl1953's discussion feel so alone... I can't go on
"I'm glad our words were able to help you a bit.  {{{{{hugs}}}}}"
13 hours ago
morgan replied to Linda Engberg's discussion Ending my Life
"i get it Linda.  I really get. Look at the picture.  The way you are nestled into his shoulder.  Both of you leaning in.  Both of you holding on to each others waists.  I have a carbon copy of your picture only it is me and…"
14 hours ago
Linda Engberg replied to Linda Engberg's discussion Ending my Life
"Anne, Thank you so much for sharing with me. I try to be strong but just don't want to live without my wonderful Husband, he will always remain my only true love. Gob Bless You, Linda "
18 hours ago
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"AnneJ, I'm glad to see you've come back to be with us.  I've missed your introspective posts.  You have much to contribute.  The burdens are so heavy we need as many of us as possible to help share the load.  I…"
Oleta Cato replied to Kevin Bailey's discussion I lost my beautiful wife on October 5 2016 in the group Lost My Spouse...
"We are all in this together.  This horrible night mare that is never ending.  No one understands unless they have lost their spouse.  I cry, I pray, I make deals with God....nothing helps.  I want my husband.  I want my…"

© 2016   Created by Diana Y.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service