You're too young to be a widow

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You're too young to be a widow

I never thought that I would be a widow in my forties.  My friends can't relate and feel the need to comment on everything, even if they have no experience with grief.  I know they mean well but only we know what we are going though.

Members: 95
Latest Activity: Feb 12

Discussion Forum

Hi 1 Reply

My husband passed away Jan 8th. I'm still in shock. He had synovial sarcoma. The tumor pretty much suffocated him to death. I really want to talk to him and hear his voice.

Started by April Smith . Last reply by MarieSte Feb 15, 2015.

Aren't we all too young to be Widows?

It seems no matter your age or how many years you have with your spouse, it stills seems like its not enough!  My husband was diagnosed with Lymphoma the day before his 44th birthday and died 3…Continue

Started by Cathie Mac Apr 25, 2014.

New to the site and group 1 Reply

I am 37 and very recently became a widow. I recently lost my husband of 7 years on March 21, 2014. He was diagnosed with end-stage liver disease due to cirrhosis 3 years ago. I moved from my family…Continue

Started by Bonnie Jones. Last reply by Brenda Ann Apr 17, 2014.

New here...not sure where to start.... 3 Replies

Hello.  My name is Heather and I lost my husband, Corey, 2 months ago to a malignant brain tumor that we did not know about.  He was completely asymptomatic until a few days before he died.  We were…Continue

Started by Heather Day. Last reply by Kali Grainger Sep 8, 2012.

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Comment by Calanfranca on January 28, 2016 at 11:11pm
I am a young widow. My husband of 16 years passed at age 43 of cancer leaving behind myself and our daughter. She is still very young. He died in my arms...I'm miserable. It's been yrs, I'm still miserable. On antidepressants, anti anxiety, and gained 30 pounds. I'm obsessed with dying now.
Comment by shuja on July 9, 2015 at 12:01pm
Alicia I'm sorry to hear that,but life is continuous process god open new ways of life if we think our life's path is stop but no my dear god is mercyfull so please look at the bright side and go ahead.god and myself with you any time any condition just call us
Comment by Alicia on July 9, 2015 at 9:54am
Hi there.i am definitely a young widow.i just got married last december and lost my husband last may (less than 5 months of marriage).he was 33 and im 35.i never expected this to happen but lately w/ more new information coming up im beginning to understand why.however i still miss him horribly at times :(
Comment by nicole irving on July 8, 2015 at 4:33am

hi, i lost my fiancee and step dad to my kids on the 18th of may, from a massive heart attack he was only 49 yrs. i am now a 39 yr old widow. feeling very lost without him

Comment by Kia on June 14, 2015 at 6:31pm
Hi I just loss my wife of 5 yrs and we ve been together for 13 yrs on June 5 th i never thought I would be without her
Comment by Karen T. on March 7, 2015 at 5:54pm

Hello Annie, * please bear with my ttypeng as my laptop is having someisuues and I really do need to get another one, but as of right nowI don't have the free noney to cover it.

Welcome. I have myslef, just werecently joined this group as my Husband o almost 15 years passed unexpetctedly. I found his body lifeless on the bed and I am still hoping (thgouh I know better) I can erase that memory and never see that image in my head again. They say that with time the memory will lessen and be replace by n=more good memories of things were shared together. I cling to the hioe that they are right I just wish they had said at some  point I will forget it.

Any way. I am very hppy here and very comofortable. I have a rew membera that I talk yo regularT. Feel free to contact me anytime with any diiculties you may be pxeriencing at that r=time, Until then, keep in mu=ind, if you are a christian adnd your husnband was too, then he did make ir home on that drive. Bit. thanlnkully, he went to a perfect him with street o gold. Any medical problems he had in his earthly body, they are now gone and will never be back in i=his Heavenly body. The hardest thing is for those of us who are now left alone. We have to deal with the loss, and learn to move on. That is a long process (at least for those who truly loved their mate jk lol) we just have to take it one day at a time and do only what we can do. For eaxample ( married hy huabnand just beore started my final semester in collegege) eveyone thouth we were craxy beciae we were so young we didn't know a thing and would be luckly is we even made it to year 3 before divorcing). Now, here we are almost years later (2 for daeing 14.5 after that). Of course we went through typicall marital arguments, but we reolved the situation and moved on to hapiness. If he hadn't just passed I have no question that we would be together forever. Just go one step st time andonly d things as you feel like you can do them. It ws week before last we were able to watch him start walking again and get a job. Backround: he was in a wheekchair for 3 yers and not working (of couse putting a strain on us but we werked through it.) Then the doctor sent him to s specialist because some advances had been mae to certia types of surgey and to have a pain pump put into him directly to allow liquid morphie to enter his system each time he pushed a button. That doctor did a few tests and looked at his newest e-rays (which were done in March. After coining to my work (he did often- usually with rosses for my desk and other tokens such as suffec animal etc.)    well, nayway, that doscotr tried a new trestnebt abd that akkiwed him to finally (7 years) to be able to walk, without the use of assistnance like a cance and he wa able to go back to work  He took me to doc. finally (I say finally beause there was an issue with my insurance so he gave then a talking to becuaseen we have good coverage, My MRI showed that the lgament in my left foot that kept it from moving to far in any direction was torn so bacj that it's not even there anymore. They told me that there is 0 trace of it.

Back to my hisband, at that time our soe was 7 years old he had a transformers caje with sine keepsakes on top of it. He made sure I was okay. Anyway, we never said anything but the two of us didn't have to to communicate with the other, and discovered the injury would take 8-12 months rehab and then if that doesn't help then we would help by simply going a couple of weks then start doing it myel at home because it was $60 each visi! that was way too much. So I am doing excercises on my on 3 imeos a week and am hurting efterward.ses from treatment. So with my huisband his injury was very close to the spine (so close they did;t wasnt to touch it before) but i you ever need someone to talk to or just to listen to you having a bad day and gettting it off your chest I'm here. 

Comment by Anne Dabalos on March 7, 2015 at 7:01am

hi my name is anne and im new to this group.. thank god i found a community who shares the same pain.. i recently lost my husband of 17 years .. im 42 years ols, he was 42 too. he had a heart attack while we were driving home from our weekend getaway for our anniversary. until now i still cry and long for him .. i am soo scared to face life alone i dont know where to start picking up the pieces. i hope o can talk to peoplw who share the pain im going thru.. god bless us all.

Comment by Karen T. on February 21, 2015 at 10:20pm

16 years (2 were dating) with the man that God had made for me (he was the second person I only went out with and that relationshio lastingo onlu a little less ruaj2 months). I our first 2 motnhs we went through so many very very difficult tasks that there were no doubts left. Now hw is gone (4 month mark just went by), I am so lost but I habe to keep it togetjer for my 9 year old son. His heart was so special that I know he woke tpeveru morning aksing what he cioul =do do to naje ne happy. I miss him I just donlt know how to go oh=

Comment by Jessica McClain on February 12, 2015 at 10:50am

I have been silently on here for over 2 years now. I lost my husband 8/29/2012 suddenly from a heart attack while he was at work. For the new members I am extremely sorry for your losses. We have a son together he is now 4 1/2 years old and my husband lives on through him. I see him everyday. As our son gets older more questions, more anger seem to arise about not having a father. It has been a struggle that comes back around. It reminds me constantly how much we miss and love him, how hard it has been to keep moving forward without him. I would have never imagined we would have made it this far 2 years ago. We still have pictures all over, we still go through photo albums often, we have talks, we share stories and we have my husbands best friends around. There is always that missing piece of the puzzle that won't ever be found and at one point I have come to accept his death and stop questioning why. There is no time limit to grieve.

Comment by Felicia R. Howard on February 12, 2015 at 10:18am

I lost my estranged husband Dec. 8th, 2014 and it is still hard for me. We were separated and I never got the answers to some questions that I had. I loved my husband unconditionally and tried to make my marriage work.  He died of a heart attack in another state. He had heart problems from years of unhealthy living and wasn't a candidate for heart transplant. People think that I shouldn't grieve because we weren't together, but we have a 21 year old son together and we were married for 9.5 years. I met him when I was 21 years old. I never thought I would be a widow at 44, I always thought widows were in their 60's.

 

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Latest Activity

Mary commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Charlie. I think it would be good to take those baby steps but only if you think you can. Maybe just pick one and like you said you don't have to continue if you don't feel comfortable after the first try. Maybe the Uber one - less contact…"
2 hours ago
stewart p commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Charlie, wow youve hit the nail on the head so to speak where Im at only it me a couple of years longer.  Really tough to do, I want to try things out and many times right up until the moment its time to begin than suddenly I drop out. …"
2 hours ago
Chum commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Charlie, this is how I felt throughout this past year. Much prefer being home doing my own thing just surfing the Internet or vegging out. I'm not pushing myself and have no one to push me or make suggests about my state of mind. It's…"
5 hours ago
Charlie commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I'm wondering if any of you have experienced what I'm going through. My beautiful Dreamgirl took flight on March 21 of this year.  Since then, like most of you, I'm devastated, destroyed, lost, alone, etc., paralyzed, anxious and…"
10 hours ago
Mary commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Denise my thoughts are with you with your struggles. I understand your feeling disconnected ... Like everything is unplugged and "alone". That will be nice I think living with your daughter - would be less lonely I would think. Hugs to you"
11 hours ago
Liz left a comment for Jen G
"Hi Jen, wondering how you were doing.  I've had a rough few days, was my birthday and felt very sad and missed him so much "
14 hours ago
Denise Lavoie commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Mary,I am in the middle of a war between my youngest daughter and my oldest daughter.They can't stay in the same room together.That is making the grieveing process even harder.Some one to talk to keeps me from exploding.I wish it was…"
21 hours ago
Linda Engberg replied to Deborah Bailey's discussion Can any one help in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Hello Deborah, I lost my wonderful husband to colon cancer 3 years ago. I still miss him terribly but the grief is not as bad. My brokenheart will never mend. I still a shrink to help me get through life without him. The house was so empty without…"
23 hours ago
Robin commented on Stephanie Dennocenzo's blog post Remembering hurts
"I know how you feel up until one week ago all I had was pictures I keep saying if we only had the voice well we do my daughter found a voice message on an old phone it brought tears to my eyes and it really didn't make me happy because the only…"
yesterday
Robin commented on CindyA's blog post Where is my peace
"I could not imagine lossing so many people I lost my soulmate and I feel like my life is over, I think we all are looking for peace. To be able to not feel so empty,lost and alone I hope that peace finds you"
yesterday
Robin commented on Denise's blog post Today is not a good one
"I know how you feel and understand my Kevin has been gone for six weeks today and everyday seems harder not easier. I have just learned to live with the fog my husband was cremated I have a necklace with his ashes around my neck, we did have a…"
yesterday
Mary commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Denise. We are here for you. I too don't like the word widow. I still feel like a wife but who has lost her husband. Was curious about how you feel about going to see a councillor- do you feel it helps a little. It's been 9 weeks since…"
yesterday
Denise Lavoie commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Today has been very hard.I went to my second counciling session  .I have not thought of myself in so long I don't know who I am. I am a widow now which I don't like.I am a mother, a grandmother, and a great-grandmother titles that…"
yesterday
Mary commented on Mary's blog post Heartbroken
"Hi Val. I live in Canada in British Columbia. It is so hard missing our husbands. It is hard to explain how we feel but you and others (Robin) share it's exactly how you feel. Yes I believe too Robin, that children's grief is different.…"
yesterday
Matthew Davenport replied to Matthew Davenport's discussion Lost My Beloved Wife On June 11th
"I am grateful to know there are others, but also saddened that so many have passed through these same awful gates into the world of grief. I send my sympathies as well. "
yesterday
Matthew Davenport replied to Matthew Davenport's discussion Lost My Beloved Wife On June 11th
"I thank you for the sympathy and thoughts. We are trying desperately to pick up the pieces she left behind and rebuild our family."
yesterday
Robin posted a blog post

Don't want this any more

I don't want this pain anymore, I feel like I can't breath without him yet I do, I don't want to face another yet I drag myself out of bed,I don't want anymore memories because he won't be apart of them anymore. I feel so empty I have tried more tears than I thought possible, I did not deserve him yet I was blessed to have him for 26 years he was my world and now he's gone I feel like nothing matters I don't want this anymore.
yesterday
Robin replied to Matthew Davenport's discussion Lost My Beloved Wife On June 11th
"Let me tell you I feel and understand your pain it has been six weeks today I lost my husband of 26 years and it hurts beyond words I don't know how to even tell you how to cope for me it is day by day I just want you to know your pain is felt"
yesterday
Robin commented on Mary's blog post Heartbroken
"I know exactly how you feel today is my six week mark and it hurts more now because the loneliness has set in I miss my Kevin so much it hurts so much, we have seven children but their grief is different my life stopped the day he passed.I feel your…"
yesterday
Alin Tooby commented on Denise's blog post Neutral
"Hello Denise,   I hope this message finds you well. I am very sorry for the loss of your dear husband. I pray you may find comfort and peace. I found your post to be a bit ironic as I just went and picked up my mothers death certificate three…"
yesterday

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