You're too young to be a widow

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You're too young to be a widow

I never thought that I would be a widow in my forties.  My friends can't relate and feel the need to comment on everything, even if they have no experience with grief.  I know they mean well but only we know what we are going though.

Members: 139
Latest Activity: Apr 15, 2023

Discussion Forum

How do I get up?

How so i get up off the floor where she died and do the things i need to. She died yesterday morning, i did everything i could and i couldn't save her. How do I do this. I'm broken, lost, and alone.…Continue

Started by Jarrod Roettger Apr 15, 2023.

Don’t know where to start... 2 Replies

I am new to this group I never wanted to join and am hoping someone has some insight on how to live each day without the love of their life. I’m a very recent (1/10/18) 37 year old widow. My husband…Continue

Started by Lisa Lennon. Last reply by Vicki Jan 24, 2018.

Falling in Love with Spouse's Family Member or Best Friend

I'm new to forums and discussion boards as a way to connect. Please forgive any redundancy in my hopes of reaching out.I'm looking to get some perspective from this community on a tough but not…Continue

Tags: spouse, member, family, friend, best

Started by Lauren Dec 11, 2017.

People can be so heartless sometimes 8 Replies

I know that, people dont know how to deal with the passing of a loved one, especially when they are young and we are young, but the hardest comment I have had to endure since the passing of my…Continue

Started by ShingingLight1967. Last reply by Bryan Kelly Reeves Oct 8, 2017.

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Comment by Ana Lepore on March 8, 2019 at 5:32pm
I am 41, I just became a widow on Valentine’s Day. I’ve been with my spouse 5 loving years. I feel lost and scared at the same time. I miss him so much and people keep telling me to meet friends and join these groups. I heard it helps the healing.
Ana
Comment by Christopher on July 20, 2018 at 7:41pm

Some days you try, but you just can't. Whatever you needed just didn't work that day.

The first 4 years were rough and she didn't want me to be alone. Unfortunately, I am alone. Society shuns widowers. The most common question I get that shuts down any chance of dating is "Wait, you have a son? How does that work?" then the W word comes in and next it's goodbye.

Today my whatever it is can't even any of it. I've had a weird week and stuff that was buried suddenly broke loose lately.

Comment by Nora Osuchowski on February 22, 2018 at 9:35am

I'm new to these kinds of forums but as a widow in my forties with 6 children, I am finding that most people can't relate. I thought it would be helpful to reach out to others in similar situations who might be able to understand. I lost my husband last year to a brain tumor. He was only 38.  Six months prior to that my ex husband died suddenly of a heart attack. So I now have 6 children from age 4 to 19 going through various stages of grief.  It is a challenging place to be...

Comment by Eliza Boyd on November 16, 2016 at 8:49am

My husband, my Superman, has been gone 2 mos now.  Never thought he'd be gone at the age of 46 and leave behind myself, 48, to raise our 12 yr old daughter alone.  It's nice having our 19 yr old son back at home.  He's a great help.  Yesterday was the first time I've been physically ill.  The kids did a great job of taking care of me, but it just hurt because this was the first time he wasn't there to make it better.

Comment by Jessie on October 1, 2016 at 9:19pm

I lost my husband 1 month ago today the shock is lifting but the sadness is overwhelming. At 48 it is hard to believe I won't  hear him calling me Honey, rubbing my hair until I fall asleep, bring me home a bottle of wine just because ther are so many things that were just so simple that meant so much. My heart is forever broken.

Comment by Copper "Charlie" on August 18, 2016 at 6:44pm

Angie

I'm so sorry.  The sympathy cards I got, I just put them away.  My sister-in-law went through them to make sure there was no money or anything, which some people did give me.  But I couldn't read them for months.  Actually, I don't even know if I did force myself to read them, to be honest.  I stored them in a box and I'm not even sure where the box is.  Just know you're not alone here.  Hugz!

Comment by Angie on August 18, 2016 at 3:14pm
I completely understand. My husband has only been gone 2 weeks tomorrow and I don't know how I will survive. I miss him and love him so much. It's this horrible roller coaster. I went back to work this week but can hardly focus. I cry myself to sleep, wake up looking for him. And it is so hard to make the calls to cancel his accounts. I've never hurt so bad in my life.. Today I got more sympathy cards in the mail and I just started crying...
Comment by Copper "Charlie" on August 18, 2016 at 2:15pm

Hello.  It's been one year and five days for me since my husband of 13 years passed away.  I was 41 when he died and he was 55.  It was unexpected, like many of you...an abdominal aortic aneurism.  He called me to him in the bedroom and 45 minutes later, he was gone.  I'm so grateful we had the 13 years, but at the same time I'm like...it was supposed to be more!!  He was my everything and even after a year, I'm just going through the motions.  I had to get new furniture and rearrange the bedroom and living room because the memories were just too strong of those 45 minutes.  It helped.  But the memories still haunt me.  Even with my daughters (22 years and 19 years) living in the house, I feel more alone that I ever have.  Mostly, I just sit and do nothing but stare at the walls.  I'm disabled, so I don't really have much of anything to distract me the majority of the time.  He was my everything and I...miss...him!!!

Comment by Maria Gutierrez on August 15, 2016 at 9:05pm
My boyfriend passed on April 17. We were together for 11 years and were planning on marrying after his ex finally agreed to give him the divorce. He filed the divorce papers on April 14, just 3 days after he was murdered. I found about his death on the news and at the beginning police filed it as an accident but less than a month ago they said that he was murdered. I always thought we would grow old and joked about the illnesses that we would probably develop being elderly. I was his princess and he would do anything and everything me. Foot rubs, taking care of me when sick, Sunday breakfasts in bed, shopping (yes, he was very patient and always was honest about colors and fitting) we cooked and spent a lot of time together besides the time you get to spent wheb you live together! I never expected to be a widow just 2 days after my 40th birthday. I didn't know living without him was going to be this hard. I never imagined that I would feel so lost and helpless and angry and empty. I feel that my soul died with him ...
Comment by Shannon Thorn on August 6, 2016 at 5:09pm

It's been longer for me than some of you.  I married at 18 (was with him from when I was 14) and was widowed at 27 (and he was a murder victim so it was unexpected to say the least....).  It'll be seven years on New Year's Eve.  That said, it some days it seems okay without him and then five minutes later it seems like it hurts more now than when he first died; if that makes any sense at all. 

Before his death and the series of shit relationships I got myself into, I was an expert mountain climber; to the extent that the only major summit out of the seven I haven't finished is Mt. Everest--that one I broke my spine on about 3000 feet away and I am lucky I survived.  I don't like talking about it much--but my climbing partner went blind from his eyes freezing and the ropes didn't get set up right and we were both hallucinating all sorts of crazy stuff I'll never speak of at that point from the extreme alititude. 

Well long story short, last night I moved wrong in my sleep and it triggered reliving that whole thing.  It is days like these that I want my husband, even all these years later I want the one person who understood my need to do insane adventures like that.  The man that even when I hadn't healed enough to walk just brushed my hair while I ranted about how Mt. Everest doesn't own me, I will do it again and then I am going to do K2.  Now all that's left are people who think I was insane that I ever made the attempt; let alone that I eventually want to do it again.  Then there's all the happy relationships I see...some people can move on easier than I can.  Me, I haven't found anyone even all these years later that I even want to know my favorite movie let alone exactly how bad I want back up there.  Anyway, thanks for listening and sorry to everyone else for their loss.   

 

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