Angela renteria
  • Female
  • Salt Lake City, UT
  • United States
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About Me:
I just turned 38 I am a mother of 4 . My husband recently died on June 18th of this year.
About my Loss:
My husband and I were together 17 years and losing him has been the worst thing in my life. I am not sure I can continue to go on with out him.I still can't come to terms that he is gone even though I was at the hospital and at his bedside when he passed.I hate this and I feel like we were cheated of a life together. I find myself wanting die with him but feeling guilty of feeling that way because I have have 4 young Children. I do want to see them grow up and I love them very much. The thing is its been six weeks and it seems like it's been forever.I can't imagine years of being without him.some people have said to me that well God must have wanted him or he is in a beautiful place . I do believe he is but why so soon. We have a child who just turned 1 earlier this year and that means my baby will have no memory of his father.

Angela renteria's Blog

Missing him.

Ever since my husband died I have become a little indifferent in my belief in God . I hate to say it , I fear thinking it. I still believe in God , I still believe there is nothing that God cannot do . I just do not have blind Faith anymore. I had that blind unrelenting Faith that God would save my husband or at least help him to live long enough to get a transplant. That never happened and I watched him die. I have a real hard time believing that his death was part of a great plan . My…

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Posted on August 16, 2016 at 12:41am — 1 Comment

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At 1:38pm on August 16, 2016, FLORA said…

Hi Angela, I am so very sorry for your loss. I know what you are going through. I lost the love of my like on February 15th of this year, we were together for 8-1/2 years, we were always together, we did everything together, and he too had struggled with alcohol for most of his adult life, and although he hadn't started to show physical signs of liver disease, the medical examiner stated that his opinion was he died from liver disease due to alcohol abuse and untreated diabetes, he passed away in his sleep. It was and has been the hardest and most horrible thing I have ever gone through. I still miss him so much and I would do anything to have just one more day, just to say all the things I didn't get the chance to say. It does get a little easier as the days go by, but I'll always think of him and he will always be in my heart. I wish you all the peace and comfort in the days to come.

At 9:50am on August 4, 2016, Mary said…
My heart goes out to you. I understand how you feel. I too feel the same. I lost my previous husband Neil 3 1/2 months ago and I still feel what you describe. My children are older 16, 21 and 26. But I too just want to go be with Neil. The pain physically and mentally and emotionally is too hard. You are in my prayers
 
 
 

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