Yes......this is not fun. I'm just coming up to the one year mark. August 16th was our anniversary (37 years). I was just a 19 year old kid when I married my husband. He is all I've known for so long. I miss him so much. I know what you are talking about. I go out to do things with friends and 20 minutes after I get there I don't want to be there. Then I go home and sit and cry because I'm so lonesome.
I just can't stop reliving that last day over and over again. The doctor asking us all to leave the room while they turned off my husband's heart monitor. Returning to the room and seeing him laying there so still.....no color.....no breath left. I'm sure you went through the same. It's very traumatic. That's why they call it PTSD. I think I'm probably going through the same thing. I just don't have a lot of desire to move on. My kids have both moved on ~ I know they miss their dad but not like I miss him. Nothing in this life prepared me for the death of my husband. I used to think about what it would be like but we have no idea it will devastate our souls like it does. Feel free to contact me whenever you bet the blues. Nobody understands what we are going through. Maybe we can chat online sometime. We have to move forward somehow. We need to be surrounded by others who understand what we go through. Try to have a good day.
hope you are doing better. I have been on anti-depressants and they help so much with the crying. It is like night and day. If I am off them I am a crying, sobbing wreck. When I am on them it is difficult to cry. I get sad but tears won't come and it somehow passes. They really are amazing. I don't think I will ever stop thinking of Denise and being sad.
Also therapy has helped I'm still in it. It is great. It is the only thing I look forward to.
I hope you are doing better and you can message me anytime.
Dear Linda, I don't know how to go on. Somehow I am. I think maybe Denise is somehow helping me from above. I feel lost, alone, helpless and hopeless without her. Somehow the Lord is in control. Therapy is helping me, although I cannot describe how.
I just lost my husband and best friend on December 3rd. He was waiting on the heart transplant list and lost his fight. I'm numb right now . Christmas was difficult ~ I tried so hard to be strong for my children and my daughter just went to pieces last night. We had a good talk and cry. My husband was very loved both by his family and many friends. I always thought I could accomplish anything with him by my side. Now I just feel lost and alone. We have to be there for each other. We have to just take it one day at a time and pray for strength. I'm not having a good day today but I wanted you to know you are not alone in this.
No comments yet!
Welcome to Online Grief Support - A Social Community
I am so sorry for your loss. The journey of caregiving is extremely difficult. The loss of our especially loved dear ones is unspeakable.
There are so many different ideas about what happens to us when we die. Religion teaches many different…"
"I just feel like I am in a fog. I have a little dog that is at least ten years old. She adored my Mom & she has really grieved for her. I know how you feel about your dog. I worry about her. She is all I have. …"
"Me too Brett, I sit here an look at my 12 year old Labrador and I know he is on borrowed time, and my heart breaks, losing him will be something that I am not looking forward to.
As you said Brett, we have the live our lives until we are called…"
"Yes, I was looking at something that popped up on my Yahoo news feed. It was an article naming 106 celebrities who have passed away in 2019. So many names and faces that I remembered. Now they are gone, and they aren't coming back. Their time…"
"Brett so true she was my security blanket
I feel like I have no one to lean on that understood me like her
You know what keeps coming in my mind. How true it is and scary that everything has a beginning and an end."
"I hear it all the time you don’t know how lucky you were that your mother wasn’t sick and you didn’t have to take care of her I say to them lucky I was lucky that my mother died and I was not right by her side to tell her I love…"
"M, the problem is that our security blankets were ripped away.
Like you, sometimes I am glad to be sad. I feel like I am closer to my mom when I am crying. At least, her memory is fresher with me when I am in that zone.
I feel like the hard reality…"
"Theresa, millions, billions of people have lost their moms. Sometimes someone will tell me that they have lost their mom, too, but they were able to deal with it, and they wonder why I haven't dealt with it as well. This may sound like an…"
"Me too ...I was sitting marking a paper yesterday and suddenly realized that I can’t see or talk to my mother about this or anything else and the tears came. But I’m glad to think of her, in a way I can be glad to be sad sometimes.…"
"I sometimes will just be sitting down and I start to cry because I keep thinking I miss my mom so much my whole world is just not the same I think that I’ve become a different person it will be four years and I still cry
I can’t put into…"
"Definitely a colder world now. I like the image of the security blanket — like, as we go forward, we will always keep it but eventually may be able to wash it, fold it nicely, and put it in some place of honour close at hand but without…"
"It is such a traumatic event, especially when you have had a wonderful Mom. It is so hard knowing she is gone. Knowing this is permanent. There is no one that can fill the void she left. My brother was close to Mom, but he…"
Cherie is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
"While I never forget that my mom is gone, for some reason it just hits me over the head sometimes. Just out of the blue I'll be like, "Mom is gone." It's horrible. It's ever present. And the thing is that it is always with…"
"My Mom also. I could always talk to her about anything & knew she was someone I could totally trust. I am constantly thinking of something I want to share with her & then I remember she is gone. I loved spending time with…"