Linda Gutierrez
  • Female
  • Bakersfield, CA
  • United States

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  • Crystal (BluSkyy)
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  • Patricia J. Jones
  • michael sandoval

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About Me:
i just turned 56. and i'm really out of my comfort zone.
About my Loss:
i lost my husband, best friend and soul mate on sept.30,2010. he was ill and on hospice for 9 months. He did'nt want to leave me.

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Comment Wall (6 comments)

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At 11:32pm on September 18, 2011, Crystal (BluSkyy) said…

Hi Linda,

                 I havent been so good.. I just been taking it one day at a time..

At 5:04pm on August 25, 2011, Patricia J. Jones said…

Hi Linda,

Yes......this is not fun.  I'm just coming up to the one year mark.  August 16th was our anniversary (37 years).  I was just a 19 year old kid when I married my husband.  He is all I've known for so long.  I miss him so much.  I know what you are talking about.  I go out to do things with friends and 20 minutes after I get there I don't want to be there.  Then I go home and sit and cry because I'm so lonesome. 

I just can't stop reliving that last day over and over again.  The doctor asking us all to leave the room while they turned off my husband's heart monitor.  Returning to the room and seeing him laying there so breath left.  I'm sure you went through the same.  It's very traumatic.  That's why they call it PTSD.  I think I'm probably going through the same thing.  I just don't have a lot of desire to move on.  My kids have both moved on ~ I know they miss their dad but not like I miss him.  Nothing in this life prepared me for the death of my husband.  I used to think about what it would be like but we have no idea it will devastate our souls like it does.  Feel free to contact me whenever you bet the blues.  Nobody understands what we are going through.  Maybe we can chat online sometime.  We have to move forward somehow.  We need to be surrounded by others who understand what we go through.  Try to have a good day.

At 8:31pm on June 23, 2011, michael sandoval said…
Hi Linda
hope you are doing better. I have been on anti-depressants and they help so much with the crying. It is like night and day. If I am off them I am a crying, sobbing wreck. When I am on them it is difficult to cry. I get sad but tears won't come and it somehow passes. They really are amazing. I don't think I will ever stop thinking of Denise and being sad.
Also therapy has helped I'm still in it. It is great. It is the only thing I look forward to.
I hope you are doing better and you can message me anytime.
At 2:13pm on February 6, 2011, michael sandoval said…
Dear Linda, I don't know how to go on. Somehow I am. I think maybe Denise is somehow helping me from above. I feel lost, alone, helpless and hopeless without her. Somehow the Lord is in control. Therapy is helping me, although I cannot describe how.
At 10:00pm on January 25, 2011, michael sandoval said…
Dear Linda,
my condolences,
I feel very empty without my Denise. I miss Her very much at every moment. I hope we can be friends
At 4:46pm on December 26, 2010, Patricia J. Jones said…

Welcome Linda,

I just lost my husband and best friend on December 3rd.  He was waiting on the heart transplant list and lost his fight.  I'm numb right now .  Christmas was difficult ~ I tried so hard to be strong for my children and my daughter just went to pieces last night.  We had a good talk and cry.  My husband was very loved both by his family and many friends.  I always thought I could accomplish anything with him by my side.  Now I just feel lost and alone.  We have to be there for each other.  We have to just take it one day at a time and pray for strength.  I'm not having a good day today but I wanted you to know you are not alone in this.


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morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
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