Last month I lost my identical twin sister to a drug overdose. I did not think she was using again and I wish I had seen the signs that I only realized after the fact. So many questions go through my head and I wish I could just ask her, see her, hug her and tell her how much I miss and love her. There are so many unanswered questions. She struggled with alot most of her life from childhood and young adult trauma and the loss of our Mother to an accidental overdose 9 years ago. I barely got through that hard time in my life but I did it with my sister. Now, I just feel alone even though there are so many loving people around me. I am trying to learn to live my life without my sister here with my physically. My whole life I tried to save her, motivate her, encourage her, love her but in the end I lost her. My emotions have been all over the place numb, angry, sad but lately but I still feel in denial and I'm not sure when I will feel like this is my real life I am dealing with on a daily basis. I guess I just want to feel like I can relate to people who have gone through the same thing and those people can relate to me.

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Widowhood

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