Doug
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  • Port Royal, PA
  • United States
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Unbearable loneliness
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I have been struggling with a Major Depressive Disorder for a very long time and have been to numerous psychiatrists searching for help all to no avail. Some time ago I found out that for a period of…Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by Maggi Crowston-Boaler Apr 29, 2017.

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About Me:
I have a difficult time explaining things about myself and I'm not sure why. At times I feel incredibly immature and overly emotional. It seems as if all my emotions are abnormal. By that I mean that compared to other people, my emotions seem to be extreme.
About my Loss:
You may find this strange and maybe not even possible, but the loss hasn't happened yet, but it will in the near future. Yet I still feel extremely sad and depressed and I've been that way for a very long time. My Mom died a few years back from Alzheimer's and my Dad provided her care until the very end. Now my Dad is suffering from Alzheimer's also and the fear I have of losing him is very real and unbelievably painful. I've waited too long to tell him exactly how I feel and the things I've always wanted to tell him, but put off.

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Joe von Anjou commented on Joe von Anjou's blog post I lost my mother in April. It hurts worse now than then
"Today, I feel it. It has been like this every Saturday since June, since the nurse at the care home called me to notify me that I could pick up my mother's effects. My mother died in April. I am overwhelmed. I am crushed. I love you, Mom. I…"
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Joe von Anjou commented on Joe von Anjou's blog post I lost my mother in April. It hurts worse now than then
"Sixteen weeks ago today, my mother died. For some reason, I do not feel crushed today. But every Friday is going to be like this, a reminder that she is dead. Not quite the kick in the stomach reminder that she is dead that I feel when I wake up…"
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bluebird replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Yes, it is much harder for me to concentrate or focus now.  Grief, sadness, anger, despair -- they have all conspired to make it difficult for me to access my intelligence to the same degree as before my husband died.  That is, my…"
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Jeff C replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Bluebird, I am glad that you took that the right way.  I had a feeling you would know what I meant.  And your description is correct:  I have a general idea of how you feel but it's impossible for me or anyone else to know…"
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Luna Nightshade replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"I guess I can emphasize with the things you loved to do dying with the one you loved - as if that feeling has been pulled along, stretched thin to behind the veil. You don't have the energy to pursue them anymore, and just having something that…"
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bluebird replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Please don't apologize; I'm sorry I didn't respond to your last post in April, I'm not very good about keeping up with things anymore.  I don't feel that I'm moving forward at all, but I can see how that would work…"
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