Doug
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  • Port Royal, PA
  • United States
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Unbearable loneliness
3 Replies

I have been struggling with a Major Depressive Disorder for a very long time and have been to numerous psychiatrists searching for help all to no avail. Some time ago I found out that for a period of…Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by Maggi Crowston-Boaler Apr 29.

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Latest Activity

Doug replied to Cathy 's discussion My brother's death cirrhosis
"Hello Nancy, I don't know how both you, and Cathy, can carry on as well as you have after losing someone you loved so much? It's unbelievable to me that your husband's doctor could be so inept as to never test his liver function,…"
Jul 23
Doug joined Jarvis's group
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I love my Dad.

For everyone that has lost their Dad.
Jul 16
Doug joined Steph's group
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How to move on...

How to move on after the loss of your significant other? Is this possible? When? Navigating through this process while also dealing with your grief. See More
Jul 16
Doug replied to Cathy 's discussion My brother's death cirrhosis
"Hello Morgan, I send my sincerest condolences to you for your loss and thank you for your kind words. I didn't share it in my post with Cathy, but when I was released from prison in 2006, I had moved to a new state because of an invitation by a…"
Jul 13
Cathy and Doug are now friends
Jul 13
Doug replied to Cathy 's discussion My brother's death cirrhosis
"Cathy, Please accept my deepest condolences on your brother's passing. When I first read the title of your post, "My brother's death cirrhosis", I can't begin to tell you how badly it affected me. Please let me explain, I,…"
Jul 13
Doug replied to Richard Rivera's discussion GETTING WEAKER NOT SURE HOW LONG
"Richard, I'm very sorry to hear about all that you're going through and I wish there was something I could do to ease your pain. Have you gone to a doctor or the emergency room at your local hospital yet? I can completely understand when…"
Jul 5
Doug replied to Clem's discussion Heroin finally won in the group Losing Someone to Drug Overdose
"Clem, There are no words that could assuage the pain you're going through. If there were I would certainly offer them to you.Your son sounds like he was a terrific guy and had to deal with more than he should have with the addiction as well as…"
Jun 12
Doug joined Laura Rozier's group
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Losing Someone to Drug Overdose

If you've lost someone you loved due to them overdosing on drugs, let's talk about it here.See More
Jun 12
Doug replied to Richard Rivera's discussion Anyone also form the New Jersey area?
"Hello,I no longer live in New Jersey, but spent a great portion of my life growing up there in places like Marlton, Edison, Medford. Mostly in South Jersey though. I have often thought of the same thing you have as I have some health issues and as a…"
Jun 3
Doug replied to Richard Rivera's discussion LIVING ALONE WITH NO ONE TO SPEAK TO? HOW??
"I know, and can feel, your unbelievable pain first hand. As I'm typing this, the need to end my own suffering today is as strong as it's ever been. There are no words adequate enough to lessen the pain you're feeling now, none.…"
Jun 1
Maggi Crowston-Boaler replied to Doug's discussion Unbearable loneliness
"October 22nd, 2012, my elder son was told he had late-stage Hodgkin's Lymphoma. Massive tumour on his right lung. Inoperable. Long story short: he went through HELL and he died just a month later. No counselling has ever been offered. I've…"
Apr 29
morgan replied to Doug's discussion Unbearable loneliness
"Doug,  I just read your post and I am so sorry that you have such a heavy burden of what life was and is.  Since my husbands death I've been on a quest to answer so many questions that seem to lead me to dead ends.  I can wonder…"
Apr 12
Doug posted a discussion

Unbearable loneliness

I have been struggling with a Major Depressive Disorder for a very long time and have been to numerous psychiatrists searching for help all to no avail. Some time ago I found out that for a period of about twelve years I had Hep C and never knew that I had it, until I began feeling sick everyday. I went to a doctor and was told that in the time I didn't know I had it, the virus had ravaged my liver and that my only hope was a transplant. My insurance company agreed that as a last ditch effort…See More
Apr 12
Doug replied to Kaitlyn W's discussion When Grief Overcomes You
"Hello Kaitlyn, I am terrible sorry for your loss and I think I know the pain you're going through because my Mom was diagnosed with this unbelievably cruel disease and after a heartbreaking struggle she passed away in November, 2008. I will…"
Mar 27
Doug replied to Pamela philipp's discussion I am alone
"Pamela, I know exactly what you're saying as I have experienced the same thing. People grieve in different ways and some people take longer to get to the point where you can function normally. You're right, it's a lot easier just to…"
Oct 9, 2016

Profile Information

About Me:
I have a difficult time explaining things about myself and I'm not sure why. At times I feel incredibly immature and overly emotional. It seems as if all my emotions are abnormal. By that I mean that compared to other people, my emotions seem to be extreme.
About my Loss:
You may find this strange and maybe not even possible, but the loss hasn't happened yet, but it will in the near future. Yet I still feel extremely sad and depressed and I've been that way for a very long time. My Mom died a few years back from Alzheimer's and my Dad provided her care until the very end. Now my Dad is suffering from Alzheimer's also and the fear I have of losing him is very real and unbelievably painful. I've waited too long to tell him exactly how I feel and the things I've always wanted to tell him, but put off.

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Alice Thompson left a comment for nat
"Dear Nat, I’m so very sorry you had to lose your beloved husband. I wish you strength and comfort as you make your way through these early days and nights. There are many kind souls on this site who know about deep pain, and I recommend…"
22 minutes ago
Profile IconKar-Kate Leung, nat, Ambreen and 5 more joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
2 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Bluebell, my thoughts and prayers are with you. My brother called me the other day and he said are you ok? There is a twenty year age difference between us, so we are not that close and he lives five hours away. I said to him, yes I though you would…"
5 hours ago
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Another bad day. I was shopping for Christmas cards and gift bags when without warning, I broke down in tears at the register. Thank goodness the cashier was a sensitive caring person and did not just blow me off. She said "Your Mom will always…"
6 hours ago
Stephanie Coyle joined Courtney Adams's group
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Suicide....Hard Knowing They did it By Their Choice

This is for some of us who have lost someone due to suicide...I miss you Annie!!!See More
15 hours ago
Alice Thompson commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Thank you, Linda and Morgan. It just hurts so much for all of us."
yesterday
bluebird commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"((((((morgan))))))"
yesterday
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Paul, Each of us have memories of a time and day of the death of our beloved.  Mine just happened to come at a time of the year when normally the excesses of celebrating kick into high gear.  Not better not worse than anyone else's…"
yesterday
Elynn m commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"My friend just lost her husband before Thanksgiving.   I'm trying to reach out to her, because I know how she feels, but she does not seem to want to respond.  She's keeping very busy!  I feel bad for her, but I guess…"
yesterday
Elynn m commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Thank you, Linda for posting that.   "
yesterday
Peggy left a comment for Dawn W
"Hi Dawn, I saw your posts and wanted to introduce myself.  I'm also in Canada, in Ontario.  I lost my husband suddenly in 2015.  He had cancer but had been given 3 to 5 years and was gone in 8 weeks.  If you'd like to…"
yesterday
kim posted a status
"my beautiful son, its x mas again, ill be with you soon I promise, I love you forever mom"
yesterday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Alice, I am so sorry, I know you holidays will never be the same again, we just make the best of it. "
yesterday
Alice Thompson commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I feel the same. My love had a comprehensive stroke on 22 December, and died in hospital at 10pm on New Years Eve. Then I went “home” in a taxi amid fireworks."
Thursday
Profile IconAnn Appa, Alison Eley, Hannah and 3 more joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Thursday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Morgan & Paul, I feel exactly like you do, I wish I could sleep the holidays away, I find no joy in them, it's just another day I am being tortured."
Thursday
Paul commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Morgan, As hard as it is for the rest of us to endure the upcoming holidays it must be at least doubly difficult for you given the circumstances your husband and you were dealt with.  To everyone here who has put up with this hell for multiple…"
Thursday
Maxey is now friends with Cheyenne Steffen and Pamela philipp
Thursday
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Paul,  In particular this time of the year everyone who hasn't lost their love is celebrating.  I used to be one of them. Then one day a long time ago, I took my sick husband to the hospital Xmas Eve day and found out the day after…"
Thursday
Paul commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Count me among those who are looking forward to death after losing my wife. I am absolutely not interested in anything else."
Thursday

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