B.Windsor
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  • United States
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B.Windsor posted a blog post

it's been one year

Tomorrow, it'll be one year since Shelby died. No matter how things seem at any given time, the darkness has set in.  i just can't shake it.  i've continued having physical issues going on, and haven't been able to get in to see the doctor, yet--my appointment is for Monday.  i'm tired of trying to keep going.  i still haven't even begun to work on the planning of Shelby's going away party, yet, either.  *sigh  At this point, my hope is that once i can get straightened out, or at least find out…See More
Feb 14
B.Windsor commented on Kar's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"My heart continues to ache for all who have lost or/and continue to lose loved ones.  It is truly a heavy burden.  *Much love to you all!  Thank you--those who work for the site and comment and just keep going!   i just…"
Feb 6
B.Windsor commented on Kar's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"It's hard enough trying to go on since Shelby died...but, the mess my ex and his mother keep pulling really don't help anything/anyone.  *sigh  i've second-guessed every step i've ever made, since her death, and…"
Jan 1
B.Windsor posted a blog post

xmas 2017

It's been ten months...and it hurts as much as it did when i first found out Shelby died.  For some sadistic reason, which i will never understand, my ex and his mother continue their games.  *sigh  Some days, it's so  hard to even move outta bed to do anything, other than hope....Hope i can finally meet and visit with my grandson (Shelby's son) and HOPE for some sort of reconciliation or understanding with my son.  If either of those is not possible, why am i even here?  A lil over a month…See More
Dec 25, 2017
B.Windsor posted photos
Dec 25, 2017
B.Windsor updated their profile
Dec 13, 2017
B.Windsor commented on Laura Rozier's group Losing Someone to Drug Overdose
"i've been in NC now, for a lil over three weeks.  i just got back from the tree lighting/holiday parade for the community here, and i had a really tough time.  All i had to do was sit down and Shelby's death hit me all over…"
Dec 1, 2017
B.Windsor commented on Laura Rozier's group Losing Someone to Drug Overdose
"About four days left here in Canada, for me.  My current husband knows of all my feelings regarding my need to get back to North Carolina, so i can try to reconnect with my son, and visit with my grandson--make sure he's safe and doing…"
Nov 9, 2017
B.Windsor posted a status
"Less'n two weeks left here in Canada; headed to NC to be closer to my son and grandson. My life has had little/no meaning other than them."
Nov 1, 2017
B.Windsor commented on Laura Rozier's group Losing Someone to Drug Overdose
"What do you do when the anger sets in?  i really didn't think i'd have this immense surge of anger, especially when i can't pinpoint who, why, etc.  i know i feel at least some anger for my daughter, even though she's…"
Jul 6, 2017
B.Windsor commented on Kar's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Since i hadn't received the autopsy report from the medical examiners' office, and i felt like i was really missing something, regarding Shelby, i called to check.  Apparently, they'd sent it, once before--i never saw it--so, she…"
Jun 22, 2017
B.Windsor commented on Julie Dolsey-Weiss's group Multiple Losses Group
"Honestly, i don't know what to think/believe at this point.  My daughter died a few months ago and we're still waiting for the autopsy results.  We got the toxicology results back and she had several types of opiods in her…"
May 30, 2017
B.Windsor joined Julie Dolsey-Weiss's group
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Multiple Losses Group

I am creating this site for the many of us who have suffered several losses. I lost my mom, dad, grandma(2nd mom), grandpa, my beloved dog and divorce.Many of us have lost more than one person or event.Come share!See More
May 30, 2017
B.Windsor commented on Laura Rozier's group Losing Someone to Drug Overdose
"My daughter, Shelby, died 15 Feb 2017 of an overdose from a variety of opiods.  These things are so dangerous, and it's so easy to get them.  Since i've been in Canada, my ex wasn't even going to let me know she'd died,…"
May 15, 2017
B.Windsor joined Laura Rozier's group
Thumbnail

Losing Someone to Drug Overdose

If you've lost someone you loved due to them overdosing on drugs, let's talk about it here.See More
May 15, 2017
B.Windsor commented on Kar's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Well, we went to the 'mass' Monday evening and Shelby's name was mentioned, as were a couple other individuals.  It was extremely annoying, though, since the announcer did not even get the first letter of her last name correct,…"
May 10, 2017

Profile Information

About Me:
Married to my second husband, residing in Canada. i am originally from NC and most of my family members still reside there. i've survived a lot of death in my family/friends, especially before adulthood.
update:
no longer in Canada...back in NC, my home state, so i can hopefully reconnect with my son and finally visit some with my grandson. i left my husband on a decent note--we're still friends and supporting one another. i'm finding it harder and harder to keep going, lately, as the end of the year approaches. *sigh
About my Loss:
My daughter died 15 February 2017. She was at home with her fiance and their son (4), when her fiance went up to check on her, and found her unresponsive. He called 911 and they worked on her...she died there of an apparent overdose.

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B.Windsor's Blog

it's been one year

Tomorrow, it'll be one year since Shelby died. No matter how things seem at any given time, the darkness has set in.  i just can't shake it.  i've continued having physical issues going on, and haven't been able to get in to see the doctor, yet--my appointment is for Monday.  i'm tired of trying to keep going.  i still haven't even begun to work on the planning of Shelby's going away party, yet, either.  *sigh  At this point, my hope is that once i can get straightened out, or at least find…

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Posted on February 14, 2018 at 8:34pm

xmas 2017

It's been ten months...and it hurts as much as it did when i first found out Shelby died.  For some sadistic reason, which i will never understand, my ex and his mother continue their games.  *sigh  Some days, it's so  hard to even move outta bed to do anything, other than hope....Hope i can finally meet and visit with my grandson (Shelby's son) and HOPE for some sort of reconciliation or understanding with my son.  If either of those is not possible, why am i even here?  A lil over a…

Continue

Posted on December 25, 2017 at 9:03am

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Profile IconMaria and Robyn joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
2 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi, I wish you more than 20-25 years. No girl should lose their daddy when she is still so young."
19 hours ago
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Yes Brett. A bit of rough phase but coping up to do things as mentioned by Selv. To do work to earn and other things.  One thing which is driving me is my angel (my 4 months daughter). Her name is Kiana and her smile is my driving force to…"
19 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi, I feel like you are going through a rough time right now. You're not alone. One of the great things about a site like this is that you are a world away but I know who you are and I know that you are missing your mom just as much as I am.…"
yesterday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Agree Brett. Completely. My mother used to worry about small things and I used to get irritated sometimes. But now I miss it"
yesterday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"My mom worried about every detail of my life. There are some who would say that is intrusive. I felt that she was just being a mom. I miss that so much. I had the flu last year. I was laying in that bed and all I could hear was silence. My mom would…"
yesterday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Good morning Adams. It is 9:40 AM in India and I am at my job and trying to concentrate hard as my Mom always wanted.  I have almost stopped complaining of anything in life now as I have already lost my most precious gift. Now what ever I have…"
yesterday
morgan and joe kelly are now friends
Sunday
M Adams commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi, the fact that you were close enough with your mother to share your negative feelings about your job shows real intimacy, which I think is what loving mothers treasure above all else.  So hard accepting that we will not hear that beloved…"
Sunday
Profile IconCilvia and Aimee Hall Fuszard joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Sunday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Even my mother always used to say that live your life fully but I was always complaining on some matters. She used to worry about me the most as I was not stable in my job and used to talk about quitting it often. She always used to say, love your…"
Sunday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett, my mom said those exact words....."
Saturday
morgan commented on Alice Thompson's status
"Alice,  I regret not getting it together to write on Dec 2nd as I recall that was your anniversary of your husbands death date.  I have just been swimming upstream through the rapids.  Each year during the "seasonal"…"
Saturday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Your mom sounds a lot like mine. She also used to say, "I lived my life, now you have to live yours." "
Saturday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"You know what when my mom could not be resuscitated, her eyes were wide open and looking toward the right towards me as I walked in, she saw me I know it.  I shut her eyes.  I wanted the hospital staff to leave me alone.  They were…"
Saturday
SeLV commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Let those tears flow.."
Saturday
Alice Thompson posted a status
"Still here; still missing my love with all my heart; hoping we can all get through another lonely holiday season."
Saturday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"SelV, your mom would have had it no other way. She saw you take your first breath. You saw her take her last. I experienced that as well. If I had my way, I would have gone before my mom. Is that selfish of me? Yes. I don't care. Losing mom was…"
Saturday
SeLV commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Dear all...the thought "What if I had died due to unforeseen circumstances and my elderly widowed mother had to grief my death?" crossed my mind many times. Knowing my mother, her world (of me and her) would have collapsed and she would…"
Saturday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I think you're right, Theresa. We are a sad bunch. I think our moms would be touched that we love them so much, but they would probably also want us to be happy and move on. I just don't think that's possible, nor do I believe that my…"
Saturday

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