B.Windsor
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  • United States
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B.Windsor posted a blog post

it's been one year

Tomorrow, it'll be one year since Shelby died. No matter how things seem at any given time, the darkness has set in.  i just can't shake it.  i've continued having physical issues going on, and haven't been able to get in to see the doctor, yet--my appointment is for Monday.  i'm tired of trying to keep going.  i still haven't even begun to work on the planning of Shelby's going away party, yet, either.  *sigh  At this point, my hope is that once i can get straightened out, or at least find out…See More
Feb 14
B.Windsor commented on Karen's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"My heart continues to ache for all who have lost or/and continue to lose loved ones.  It is truly a heavy burden.  *Much love to you all!  Thank you--those who work for the site and comment and just keep going!   i just…"
Feb 6
B.Windsor commented on Karen's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"It's hard enough trying to go on since Shelby died...but, the mess my ex and his mother keep pulling really don't help anything/anyone.  *sigh  i've second-guessed every step i've ever made, since her death, and…"
Jan 1
B.Windsor posted a blog post

xmas 2017

It's been ten months...and it hurts as much as it did when i first found out Shelby died.  For some sadistic reason, which i will never understand, my ex and his mother continue their games.  *sigh  Some days, it's so  hard to even move outta bed to do anything, other than hope....Hope i can finally meet and visit with my grandson (Shelby's son) and HOPE for some sort of reconciliation or understanding with my son.  If either of those is not possible, why am i even here?  A lil over a month…See More
Dec 25, 2017
B.Windsor posted photos
Dec 25, 2017
B.Windsor updated their profile
Dec 13, 2017
B.Windsor commented on Laura Rozier's group Losing Someone to Drug Overdose
"i've been in NC now, for a lil over three weeks.  i just got back from the tree lighting/holiday parade for the community here, and i had a really tough time.  All i had to do was sit down and Shelby's death hit me all over…"
Dec 1, 2017
B.Windsor commented on Laura Rozier's group Losing Someone to Drug Overdose
"About four days left here in Canada, for me.  My current husband knows of all my feelings regarding my need to get back to North Carolina, so i can try to reconnect with my son, and visit with my grandson--make sure he's safe and doing…"
Nov 9, 2017
B.Windsor posted a status
"Less'n two weeks left here in Canada; headed to NC to be closer to my son and grandson. My life has had little/no meaning other than them."
Nov 1, 2017
B.Windsor commented on Laura Rozier's group Losing Someone to Drug Overdose
"What do you do when the anger sets in?  i really didn't think i'd have this immense surge of anger, especially when i can't pinpoint who, why, etc.  i know i feel at least some anger for my daughter, even though she's…"
Jul 6, 2017
B.Windsor commented on Karen's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Since i hadn't received the autopsy report from the medical examiners' office, and i felt like i was really missing something, regarding Shelby, i called to check.  Apparently, they'd sent it, once before--i never saw it--so, she…"
Jun 22, 2017
B.Windsor commented on Julie Dolsey-Weiss's group Multiple Losses Group
"Honestly, i don't know what to think/believe at this point.  My daughter died a few months ago and we're still waiting for the autopsy results.  We got the toxicology results back and she had several types of opiods in her…"
May 30, 2017
B.Windsor joined Julie Dolsey-Weiss's group
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Multiple Losses Group

I am creating this site for the many of us who have suffered several losses. I lost my mom, dad, grandma(2nd mom), grandpa, my beloved dog and divorce.Many of us have lost more than one person or event.Come share!See More
May 30, 2017
B.Windsor commented on Laura Rozier's group Losing Someone to Drug Overdose
"My daughter, Shelby, died 15 Feb 2017 of an overdose from a variety of opiods.  These things are so dangerous, and it's so easy to get them.  Since i've been in Canada, my ex wasn't even going to let me know she'd died,…"
May 15, 2017
B.Windsor joined Laura Rozier's group
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Losing Someone to Drug Overdose

If you've lost someone you loved due to them overdosing on drugs, let's talk about it here.See More
May 15, 2017
B.Windsor commented on Karen's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Well, we went to the 'mass' Monday evening and Shelby's name was mentioned, as were a couple other individuals.  It was extremely annoying, though, since the announcer did not even get the first letter of her last name correct,…"
May 10, 2017

Profile Information

About Me:
Married to my second husband, residing in Canada. i am originally from NC and most of my family members still reside there. i've survived a lot of death in my family/friends, especially before adulthood.
update:
no longer in Canada...back in NC, my home state, so i can hopefully reconnect with my son and finally visit some with my grandson. i left my husband on a decent note--we're still friends and supporting one another. i'm finding it harder and harder to keep going, lately, as the end of the year approaches. *sigh
About my Loss:
My daughter died 15 February 2017. She was at home with her fiance and their son (4), when her fiance went up to check on her, and found her unresponsive. He called 911 and they worked on her...she died there of an apparent overdose.

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B.Windsor's Blog

it's been one year

Tomorrow, it'll be one year since Shelby died. No matter how things seem at any given time, the darkness has set in.  i just can't shake it.  i've continued having physical issues going on, and haven't been able to get in to see the doctor, yet--my appointment is for Monday.  i'm tired of trying to keep going.  i still haven't even begun to work on the planning of Shelby's going away party, yet, either.  *sigh  At this point, my hope is that once i can get straightened out, or at least find…

Continue

Posted on February 14, 2018 at 8:34pm

xmas 2017

It's been ten months...and it hurts as much as it did when i first found out Shelby died.  For some sadistic reason, which i will never understand, my ex and his mother continue their games.  *sigh  Some days, it's so  hard to even move outta bed to do anything, other than hope....Hope i can finally meet and visit with my grandson (Shelby's son) and HOPE for some sort of reconciliation or understanding with my son.  If either of those is not possible, why am i even here?  A lil over a…

Continue

Posted on December 25, 2017 at 9:03am

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Latest Activity

BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
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CYBERSIS updated their profile
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Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
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yesterday
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
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Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Bluebell, that is how the whole first year was for me after my mom passed, it was just a blur..."
yesterday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Marie my thoughts and prayers are with you, Brett is right we remember our moms everyday the same way, but for me it makes me feel happy to go to her grave and bring a flower and tell her I love her, but I tell her I love her every day and…"
yesterday
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Marie D, Thank you for your condolences. I am heartbroken every minute of the day about it. A couple of days after it happened, I offered to pick up his ashes and death certificates. It is 2 in the morning right now, so I am doing that today and…"
yesterday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Marie, I am glad to see you post again. Mother's Day is my mom's birthday. Last years Mother's Day was really hard. I don't think it will be as bad this year. Seconds, minutes, and hours pass, and then it's another day. I…"
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Marie D commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi Brett, I am here, still struggling with deep depression. I need your and others advice, how do you handle Mother’s Day? This will be the first one since Mom passed on Christmas Day. I am overcome with grief, and dread just thinking about…"
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Madeleine replied to Madeleine's discussion What would you do if you could have your lost loved one back for just five minutes?
"Thank you - I totally agree. They never really leave us."
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Madeleine replied to Madeleine's discussion What would you do if you could have your lost loved one back for just five minutes?
"Hi Morgan, I'm so very sorry for your loss and heartbreak. It makes me wonder if asking people to write to their lost one on my website is just too much for many. I really hope people's words can make readers feel less alone in their grief…"
yesterday
morgan replied to Madeleine's discussion What would you do if you could have your lost loved one back for just five minutes?
"Madeleine, what would I do if I could have my husband back for just five minutes? My first reaction would be to run into his arms, hug him and then make mad passionate love like we did so many times and then I would ask him if I could take the pills…"
yesterday
dream moon JO B updated their profile
yesterday
dream moon JO B replied to Madeleine's discussion What would you do if you could have your lost loved one back for just five minutes?
"noy let go but i no ther is afrer lifess coz thy can vist us is m ush is thy need 2 esplyyy wen we need thm "
yesterday
dream moon JO B commented on Jesse's Mom's group Signs from Our Loved Ones
"lst 4 wks iv bean goin 2 spirtalstt churshes lot of pepepel had mesagess off lovesd 1s thy hav evn off e pepeepl it die ovr 60 or 70 or80 yrs go "
yesterday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"My sister kept some of my mom's voicemail to her. There is no way that I could listen to it. She also took some video footage of her while she was on Hospice. Seeing those would be very painful. Like you, looking through a photo album is so…"
Tuesday
Crystal K commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"This is just so hard and I know we are all going through it... I just wish they told me it was going to hurt this much- I would've spent every minute with my mom and learned everything about her :( "
Tuesday
Crystal K commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Thank you Brett. I do try to honor her but it is so painful.  I attended church service yesterday. I think I did pretty well.  No unexpected outbursts. But then I came home and found an old album of photos, saw a picture of me and my mom…"
Tuesday
AnneJ. commented on Virginia G's blog post Post traumatic stress disorder
"Virginia, personally I am convinced, looking back, that my brain put up a shield to protect my mind from the devastating scene of my husband of 20 years dropping to his death in the shower. I'm still 99% nuts and that's the truth.…"
Tuesday
Madeleine posted a discussion

What would you do if you could have your lost loved one back for just five minutes?

Hi, I'm new to this site and would love to share my new project inspired by the loss of my mom 24 years ago - www.yourjustfiveminutes.com.Just Five Minutes was created to help those dealing with grief reconnect to their lost loved one, either by dreaming the impossible, or by simply reading other peoples' words who may be experiencing a similar sense of loss as you.It asks one question: 'What would you do if... came…See More
Monday

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