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After Death Communication
~ Joyous Reunions With Deceased Loved Ones ~
©1995; by Bill Guggenheim & Judy Guggenheim
co-authors of Hello From Heaven! published by Bantam Books
Have you been contacted by a loved one who has died? After-death communication (ADC) is probably as old as mankind, but ours is the first complete research study of this field. These spiritual experiences are extremely common, and in many other parts of the world they are discussed openly and freely.
Between 1988 & 1995, we interviewed 2,000 people who live in all fifty American states and the ten Canadian provinces. Ranging in age from children to the elderly, they represent diverse social, educational, economic, occupational, and religious backgrounds. We conservatively estimate that at least 50 million Americans, or 20% of the population, have had one or more ADC experiences – and the actual numbers may be closer to double these figures!
We collected more than 3,300 firsthand accounts of ADCs from people who have been contacted by a deceased family member or friend. These are spontaneous and direct communications that may occur anytime and anywhere, but no third parties such as psychics, mediums, hypnotists, or devices of any kind are involved.
Based upon our research, the following are the twelve most frequent types of after-death communication people report having with their deceased loved ones:
Sensing A Presence: This is the most common form of contact. But many people discount these experiences, thinking, "Oh, I'm just imagining this." It's a distinct feeling that your loved one is nearby, even though he or she can't be seen or heard. Though most often felt during the days and weeks immediately after the death, you may sense his or her presence months and even years later.
Hearing A Voice: Some people state they hear an external voice, the same as when a living person is speaking to them. However, the majority of communications are by telepathy – you hear the voice of your relative or friend in your mind. When you have two-way communication, it is usually by telepathy. In fact, it's possible to have an entire conversation this way.
Feeling A Touch: You may feel your loved one touch you with his or her hand, or place an arm around your shoulders or back, for comfort and reassurance. You may feel a tap, a pat, a caress, a stroke, a kiss, or even a hug. These are all forms of affection, nurturing, and love.
Smelling A Fragrance: You may smell your relative's or friend's favorite cologne, after-shave lotion, or perfume. Other common aromas are: flowers (especially roses), bath powders, tobacco products, favorite foods, and his or her personal scent.
Visual Experiences: There are a wide variety of visual experiences, which we have divided into two broad categories: partial visual and full visual ADCs. Appearances range from "a transparent mist" to "absolutely solid" with many gradations in between. You may see only the head and shoulders of your relative or friend, or someone you love may make a full appearance to you, and you will see the entire body as well, which will appear completely solid. Some visual ADCs occur in the bedroom, next to or at the foot of the bed. Others may happen anywhere – indoors or outdoors – even in a car or aboard a plane. Typically he or she will be expressing love and well-being with a radiant smile. Loved ones virtually always appear healed and whole regardless of their cause of death. Verbal communication may take place, but not always.
Visions: You may see an image of a deceased loved one in a "picture" that is either two-dimensional and flat or three-dimensional like a hologram. It's like seeing a 35 mm slide or a movie suspended in the air. Visions are usually in radiant colors and may be seen externally with your eyes open or internally in your mind. Communication may occur, especially during meditation.
Twilight Experiences: These occur in the alpha state – as you're falling asleep, waking up, meditating, or praying. You may have any or all of the above types of experiences while you are in this state of consciousness.
ADC Experiences While Asleep: Sleep-state ADCs are much more vivid, intense, colorful, and real than dreams. They are very common. Both one-way and two-way communications are typical. You usually feel your loved one is with you in person – that you're having an actual visit together. These experiences are not jumbled, filled with symbols, or fragmented the way dreams are.
Sleep-state ADCs are similar to those that occur when you are wide awake. Your relative or friend can come to you more easily, however, when you are relaxed, open, and receptive, such as while you are in the alpha state or asleep.
Out-Of-Body ADCs: These may occur while you are asleep or in a meditative state. They are dramatic experiences during which you leave your body and often visit your loved one at the place or level where he or she exists. These are extremely vivid, intense, and real – some say, "more real than physical life." The environments usually contain beautiful flowers and butterflies, colorful bushes and trees, radiant lighting, and other lovely aspects of nature – and are filled with happiness, love, and joy.
Telephone Calls: These ADCs may occur during sleep or when you are wide awake. You will hear a phone ringing, and if you answer it, your loved one will give you a short message. Two-way conversations are possible. His or her voice will usually be clear but may seem far away. If you are awake, you will probably not hear a disconnect sound or a dial tone when the call is completed.
Physical Phenomena: People who are bereaved often report receiving a wide variety of physical signs from their deceased relative or friend, such as: lights or lamps blinking on and off; lights, radios, televisions, stereos, and mechanical objects being turned on; photographs, pictures, and various other items being turned over or moved; and a long list of "things that go bump in the night."
Symbolic ADCs: People frequently ask a Higher Power, the universe, or their deceased loved one for a sign that he or she still exists. Many receive such a sign, though it may take some time to arrive. Occasionally these signs are so subtle they may be missed, or they may be discounted as mere "coincidences." Common signs include: butterflies, rainbows, many species of birds and animals, flowers, and a variety of inanimate objects such as coins and pictures.
According to our research, the purpose of these visits and signs by those who have died is to offer comfort, reassurance, and hope to their parents, spouse, siblings, children, grandchildren, other family members, and friends. They want you to know they're still alive and that you'll be reunited with them when it's your time to leave this physical life on earth – and they'll be there to greet you when you make your transition. Their most frequent messages, expressed verbally or non-verbally, include:
"I'm okay ... I'm fine ... Everything is okay ... Don't worry about me ...
Don't grieve for me ... Please let me go ... I'm happy ... Everything will be all right ...
Go on with your life ... Please forgive ... Thank you ... I'll always be there for you ...
I'm watching over you ... I'll see you again ... I love you ... Good-bye ..."
You may be asked to give a message from your loved one to somebody else. We urge you to write down the message verbatim and to deliver it, if possible, because it may help the recipient far more than you realize.
Nearly all ADCs are positive, joyful, and uplifting encounters that reduce grief, provide lasting comfort and hope, and accelerate emotional and spiritual healing. We encourage you to trust your own experiences and to accept them as being real for you.
Unfortunately, some people react with fear when they have an ADC. This is usually because they are startled by the suddenness of the event, or they may have never heard of one happening to anybody else. Such people may assume they are "losing their mind and going crazy." And others find it difficult to reconcile after-death communications with their philosophical or religious beliefs.
Not all people are contacted by their deceased loved ones. We don't know for certain why some are and some aren't, but it seems that fear, anger, and prolonged heavy grief inhibit the possibility of having an ADC.
Based upon our research, we suggest the following: Ask for a sign that your relative or friend continues to exist. Pray for him or her and others who are affected by the death, including yourself. We recommend that you learn how to meditate, especially if you are currently bereaved or have unresolved grief. Meditation will enable you to relax and soften any fear or anger you may have. It will reduce your depression, improve your ability to eat and sleep, and facilitate your healing process. These deep relaxation exercises will also allow you to unfold your inner, intuitive senses. In fact, you may have an ADC experience while you are meditating.
Our research indicates that after-death communications are a natural and normal part of life. Therefore, we feel ADCs deserve the same public awareness and acceptance that near-death experiences (NDEs) have already received.
For most people, an after-death communication from a deceased family member or friend is valued as a sacred and profound experience that will be cherished for a lifetime. ADC experiences usually expand one's understanding of life and offer a deeper awareness of life after death. They consistently communicate an essential spiritual message: "Life and love are eternal."
Copyright © 1995 - 2009 The ADC Project. All rights reserved.
Webmaster: Will Guggenheim
Comment
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Comment by Cynthia Horacek on September 20, 2011 at 11:54am
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Dear Mary and All -
In the week after my husband died, I was very upset because I didn't "feel" him around me (well I was also upset because he died) and a friend of my who is "sensitive" to presences, told me he was just transitioning and giving me space and he would be "back" when he felt I could deal with it. Later that week, just after his memorial service, I woke in the middle of the night and could smell this incense we would burn in the house, usually in the bedroom. It was so strong, I had to get up and light a stick of it; I think I wanted him to know I "got it" - I got his message he was with me. Since then, I have felt him in bed with me, and once I really think I saw him standing in the hall - the hall was dark, but I saw, for a very brief moment, a shape that was sort of grayish, I just felt it was him. Whenever I feel him, it's never a frightening feeling, but always one of comfort. One night I felt the bed move, like someone was sitting on the other side (his side) and then stood up - you know how it feels when someone gets out of bed, and the bed shifts a little? Well that's what I felt, and I was wide awake, too. I know he's with me. At my daughter's wedding a few weeks ago, which was outdoors at my parent's house, where we were also married, as soon as the ceremony was about to begin, I saw a very large - larger than what I usually see around here - Monarch butterfly fly in, circle over my daughter and her husband, and then fly away. No one else seemed to notice it because when I mentioned it, everyone said "Oh, I didn't notice..." so I'm hoping maybe the photographer caught something on film.
I truly believe now, I didn't believe this before his death, that our loved ones do communicate with us after death in anyway they can to let us know they are with us, and are watching over us. Take care.
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Comment by Jim Eginoire on September 20, 2011 at 10:33am
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I had 3 different dreams in the weeks following Nanettes passing. The first two are kind of foggy as I was still so very sad and couldn't fucus on anything. Basically in both we were having a conversation and I realized she was dead and would say "your not supposed to be here, you died". and she would respond "it's okay, and yes, I did die". And the dream would end.
But the 3rd dream was much more clear. I was taking a bath and she came into the bathroom as she often would just to talk and be close to me. I cannot remember what we said verbatim since it has been almost a year but I do remember asking her when she came into the bathroom what she was doing here. It was like telecomunication as we did not speak, but we did speak through our minds and hearts. She said she missed me very much but everything was going to be okay. She was sorry but she could not come any more and this would be her last visit so she wanted to tell me goodbye. We both knew she was dead but it was so reassuring to have her visit me and I know it was her and not my mind wishing or "dreaming" of her.
It will be a year on the 26th and it is still like yesterday. It feels like we just talked this morning, not a year ago and that makes it really difficult to accept.
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Comment by Barbara Sutton on September 20, 2011 at 8:18am
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Wow, so after reading this I am wondering. Last night I recieved a "restricted caller" phone call on my cell while I was on the other line with my daughter. I answered it. I said hello, the caller was male and said, Hi baby, I said, who is this? He again said hi baby, and I swear it sounded just like my husband who passed in April. There was static in the background, almost as though he couldn't hear me and the phone call ended. No dial tone, nothing?? WOW....I told my daughter when I re-connected our call what had happened. She and I were kind of dismissive about it and thought it was a wrong number. WOW.......Ironically, two days ago I was talking with my nephew about my hawk experiences over the weekend which are a totem for me, as we stood in the kitchen cooking dinner, his 7 year old son came in the house and said to his dad, look what I found. He said oh wow son, go show Auntie. So he came in to the kitchen and said Auntie, I have something for you, It was a hawk feather. I said where did you get that? He said oh, in the bush on the side of the house. I looked at his father and said, so what do you think this means? He smiled and said, he's here.
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Comment by MIchael A Ballard on September 20, 2011 at 12:48am
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Mary,
You had a premonition. We have these about those who are close to us in our life. Both my mother and wife had dreams of their sisters before they passed My mother tossed and turn all night and was talking in her sleep to her sister Tina who passed away 10 years almost to the day, before my Dad couldn't wake her up. Also, 10 days before my wife passed, she had a dream about her sister Jodi who passed away 3 years ago, she told me and her Mom the dream was bloody. Even I had one of my wife about 2 weeks before her death, I was reaching for her and just couldn't grab on and she slipped away. I was able to tell her about it and she replied "Oh well".
There was so many times her and I were thinking of the same thing, either physically together, or when we would call each other, like when I'd call her from work, or her call me.
Please don't feel guilt at all. This is a natural thing you had about your brother/Saddest Dream. You had no idea, just like I had no idea. Also, you have to think that it is a gift, maybe to comfort you in someway. When something like this is experienced, it is so profound that we can't get over it. I have had to take a lot of steps backwards and view my dream experience from a distance, far away from my feelings. What I have gathered is that it was a sign that something was destined to happen, and that's just basically it.
The first dream I had about Jami (wife) was shortly after she passed away. Her and I (in my dream) were visiting my Dad. I opened the front door, walked in, and my Dad was slumped over the side of the couch. I lunged toward him to grab him to sit him straight up. I couldnt feel anything in my arms, I looked at my two hands, and I saw a babies face, a newborn face. I yelled "Jami", she was standing behind me, I then turned around to look at her, and she was giggling and dancing around the living room in a pair of my Dads Depends. Next, I was gazing into my parents bedroom, saw my Dad sleeping in bed. Jami was up above his bed, all in white, appeared to be taking a bubble bath, and to the other wall was my Mom all in white. Sort of looked like a childs small white swimming pools extended in the air up against each wall.
Jami's mom told me she thought that I saw Jami crossing over in that dream. I mean, the newborn baby, the giggles and dancing, then her and my mom in white.
So don't think you're going crazy. Many think these are hallucinations, I beg to differ. They are just too vivid and real. Of course with grief, our emotions are more than magnified, but our hearts and minds prove different than the hallucination subject.
Just wanted to let you know and don't feel any guilt anymore. You know, one of the definitions of Nature in the dictionary mentions 'phenomena'. There is just way too much unexplained things that has our modern science banging their head against the walls. I say, keep banging those heads guys, they already have loose screws!
Hope you find some relief in this!
Your friend,
Michael
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That was page 3 Mary, sorry.
Also, I lost count on how often I would wake up and see either 11:11 pm or 1:11 am on the clock next to my bed.
Our bodies just quit when we're done here, but not our conscious.
Michael
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Comment by christianlee on September 19, 2011 at 10:00pm
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Take care Mary. God bless you. Dreams are a sign your loved one is trying alone communicate with you. Take comfort in them and prayers go out to you. You are not alone in your sorrow. You are not alone.
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Mary,
Read my post of August 24, (pg 2) on this after death communication page.
I had the same experience, she was vivid, glowey, and I was really checking out her face in the dream.
It stuck with me from the moment I awoke and I've been so much more at peace now ever since!
The scent thing also, very convincing! I was always a believer but now I don't just believe, I know.
Did you notice you hardly hear of UFO's anymore, but ADE's and NDE's are more popular now?
Take good care,
Michael
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Comment by Lorraine on September 19, 2011 at 8:10pm
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Hi Lorie, I love your photo. So amazing. It is such a comfort to get these messages from our loved ones. I am sorry that you lost Hunter. I lost my Silas three years ago, and if there is one thing I know it is that I will never "get over it." I will do the best I can to do good while I am still here on the earth, but I am realistic to know that the love I have for my son is equal to the heartbreak of not having him here... Take good care of yourself, and I hope you have many signs in the future from your Hunter.
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Hi Sally. This picture helped me heal so much. I don't know if "heal" is the correct word. I will never get over Hunter's death or the circumstances that lead to it or the guilt from it but it did help me alot. I have seen so many parents in this area lose a child and they turn to drugs or self-destruct. My neighbor told me yesterday that I seem to be handling Hunter's death "well'. That kinda of made me feel like because I haven't self-destructed and am now able to go to work every day and appear to function more normally in public now (the first 7 months, I pretty much laid on the couch and cried every day..missed so much work that its a wonder I wasn't fired)--do the people around me think that I am "over it"? I'm sure she didn't mean it that way but it still makes me wonder how I am being judged by others. I love and miss Hunter so much!
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Comment by Sally on September 18, 2011 at 3:56pm
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That's so cool Lorie, ain't it great when they love us enough to show us they are still with us.
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