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Eva Van has not received any gifts yet
I love my daughter dearly...we were always close. She always wanted to be a mother when she grew up and when she married at 19 she thought it was the best gift ever to receive a "honeymoon" baby. She loved her princesses. She learned to do the most intricate braids for their hair and always had their hair done amazingly. She was bright, vibrant, wonderful, kind, and wore her heart on her sleeve. I was blessed as a mother and I reveled everyday in that knowledge. I don't want her to be gone...
Every day I struggle to live in a world without you...this loss of you has been the single most crushing blow I have ever endured. I find now I am not searching for answers or why...answers are a poor substitute for a daughter. My physical presence craves a hug...your voice...your smile. The world around me carries on, but the emptiness of a world without you, with all it's attendant sorrows and unanswered questions, engulfs the life I once knew. EVERYTHING...changes...
I feel completely…
Posted on July 25, 2014 at 12:39pm — 2 Comments
It's been 3 months, sweetheart. The days truly crawl. I miss you so much. Your daughters all celebrated their birthdays last week. Why did you get their presents so early? They had a wonderful party. I complimented Davin on his choice of gifts for them and he started crying and told me you had bought every single one of them. He too didn't understand why you had insisted on buying them when you did.
I love you daughter...I struggle without you. We all do. But since your passing I…Continue
Posted on June 18, 2014 at 11:16am
My dearest Devan....
I miss you. I say these words over and over in my head. Three little words that hold every emotion in my heart. I need you. I don't want you to be gone....my mind will not rest. I think of all the wonderful memories of you. I remember the good and bad times we shared as Mother and Daughter and I feel the loss of you so intensely in these moments...these moments I should feel joy of having you in my life...these moments of knowing how blessed I was to be your…Continue
Posted on May 29, 2014 at 4:47am
There just isn't much hope among these pages.
When I went through this with my husbands passing I had a breakdown. The one thought that terrified me was that I would not be strong enough to do this again. (My husbands death was the first trauma I could not bounce back from...not the first one I've endured) I was right. Everyone around me tells me how strong I am but it is all a facade. I keep looking every day for a reason, an answer, just a straw of the value of living through and…Continue
Posted on May 25, 2014 at 1:00am — 2 Comments