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Multiple Losses Group

I am creating this site for the many of us who have suffered several losses. I lost my mom, dad, grandma(2nd mom), grandpa, my beloved dog and divorce. Many of us have lost more than one person or event. Come share!

Members: 324
Latest Activity: Aug 30, 2023

Discussion Forum

I've been here before 1 Reply

I just wanted to let everyone know that I've been here, on this website and in this group, before. My name was Pennywyze. I stopped coming to this site because I became busy with writing my first…Continue

Started by Penny Caywood. Last reply by dream moon JO B Jun 16, 2022.

So many losses 5 Replies

I am so depressed. I've had so many losses. My parents, my husband, many cats, now I've moved to an apartment that doesn't feel like a home. No friends, no family, no furniture. What I wouldn't do…Continue

Started by Carol Klotz. Last reply by Carol Klotz Nov 17, 2021.

Too many in a short time.

Hey everyone,  since May of 2020 I lost my birth mother with whom I had established a good relationship.  In June my stepmother who raised me passed away. July was a break. August they found my…Continue

Started by Nina M Helme Mar 21, 2021.

Lost dad an wife within a month. 2 Replies

On March 12 my last living hero passed away from lung cancer. He is the greatest man ive ever known. He loved us all unconditionally no matter our mistakes. He was always honest and to the point and…Continue

Started by Shane Hughes. Last reply by Penny Feb 7, 2021.

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Comment by Nicol Smith on June 24, 2011 at 11:59pm
Lost my dad in October (2008), my uncle (his brother) in Jan (2009), then in November 2009 within a one week time frame I lost 2 aunts, one of which was my dad's sister and one was my dad's sister in law (her husband had died in January).  It's just hard to have lost basically all of 1 generation of my dad's family in 13 months.
Comment by Dylan Ishmael on June 13, 2011 at 11:47pm
Lost my uncle in October (2010), my mom in January (2011), and now my grandma in June (2011).  When will it end?  I hope it's over for a bit!  You can follow my thoughts here: http://spiritspout.blogspot.com/
Comment by Diane A on May 13, 2011 at 2:50pm
Thank you all for praying for me and for just understanding.  I really feel sometimes like I'm going crazy.  It's not that I want you all to go there, but it is good to know I'm not alone.  I know the Lord is with me.  If He hadn't been, I don't know where I would be right now.  He has been my strength to keep going.  Thank you all so much for being there for one another and for caring. 
Comment by Belinda Rose on May 11, 2011 at 11:38pm
i feel you are all so precous on here and i just want to reach out and hug everyone who has lost someone!
Comment by Cheryl on May 5, 2011 at 11:24am

Oh Diane, my heart is just aching for you right now and I don't know what to say but what I will do is commit to concentrated prayer for you.  I will ask the Lord to speak very clearly to your heart right now, to give you the strength you need and to encourage you.  I will watch for your posts and promise to pray for you and I am here if you want to talk.  DON'T GIVE UP! You have been through so many major hurts, it's only natural that you feel the way you do.  You have more strength than you know sweetheart, you did come on here and shared your heart with us, and that says a lot. so, please know that you are not alone, even if it feels this way.

God bless you,

Cheryl

Comment by Diane A on May 5, 2011 at 9:28am

I guess the only way to do this is to just jump in and tell my story.  I have experiended multiple losses, but they are not all death. I am a 63 year old married female with grown children (2 of which are stepsons which I have raised since ages 4 and 16 months).  I have 16 grandchildren and 5 great grandchildren.  I work fulltime.  I live in the South. I have a strong faith in God.   In 1998, I began caring for my mother who was afflicted with Alzheimer's.  By 2002, she had progressed to where my father could not handle her on his own so they moved in with us. In early 2003, she suffered 2 strokes which left her totally incapacitated.  She became as an infant.  My dad had health issues, but in 2005 he began showing marked signs of dementia as well.  By September 2006, he became violent and uncontrollable, so I had to place them in a nursing home.  That killed my heart, because I had promised them I would never let that happen.  I felt like I had let them down.  I continued to oversee their care and battled with the care center many times over their neglect.  Along with that in 1994, I was diagnosed with osteoporosis and fibromyalgia.  I have broken my left foot approximately 10 times and been in and out of casts since then.  I battle pain and depression, and lack of self-esteem.   Nonetheless, I continued caring for my parents. In 2005, I broke my right hip and since it would not heal on its own I had to have surgery, which took about a year and half to recuperate from.  All this was going on at the same time my dad was falling apart.  Mom died in November 2006.  I never allowed myself to grieve her death, because I had to stay strong for Dad.  Then some things occurred in my marriage, which I won't go into, that was devastating to me.  I walked out on my husband for a few days because I couldn't live with what I knew to be true.  We had no one to counsel with or talk with, because it was too private a thing and my husband too proud to admit anything.  Because I was emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually spent, we moved from our home to a neighboring state in 2008 (where another family lived) and brought Dad with us.  Again, emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually I was wasted.  When we moved, we left our home, our friends, some of our family, our pastor (who we loved dearly), and my health was failing.  I was having difficulty getting around, cleaning my house, doing my job, and just life in general was hard.  I was and am unhappy and can't seem to get a grip on going forward.  When we moved, we put our house up for sale, but it's not sold.  The house we moved bought here was misrepresented and we have had to do major, major repairs.  We are out of money and living in poor circumstances.  Our family does little to help.  I had moved here with hopes that we would get some help and it just seems to be getting worse all the time.  My dad died in Feb 2010 and I have dealt with all the "orphan" feelings.  I feel like I am all alone and no one understands my plight.  In the last 5  years, I have lost my mom, lost my health, lost my home, lost my friends of 20 years or better, lost my pastor, lost my doctors, my hairdresser, lost my relationship with my husband, lost my other children (because they are resentful we moved), lost my self-esteem, and most importantly lost my will to live.  I think I'm in a Catch 22 and I see no way out.  I have daughters-in-law that have attacked me because of "mistakes I made while raising my step-sons" or I'm not a good grandmother to their kids, etc... I am just so tired of hurting.  When on when will my laughter come back?  How can I fix all this?  I want to run away but there's no where to go?  I find myself praying and asking God to just make all this go away or take me home. 

 

In mid-February one of my friends here lost her mother. I was with her when it happened.  It tore my heart out.  When I walked in the room and saw her mother for the first time, she looked exactly like my Mom.  It was as if a knife was driven in my heart and suddenly I realized my Mom was gone.  I stayed with my friend till her mother passed, but it was as if it was my Mom.  I finally started to grieve the loss of my Mom.  Then about 1 month ago, another friend's husband just dropped dead in her front room.  It has torn me up.  I don't understand all this.  God needs to help me.  Thanks for listening.  If anyone has dealt with so many things at once, please let me know I'm not going crazy. 

  

Comment by Natalie Rochester on May 3, 2011 at 8:42pm
Hi, my name is Natalie Rochester and I am a master’s student from Texas Woman’s University conducting a study for my thesis. The purpose of the study is to explore the relationship between types of pet loss, attachment, and grief. I was inspired to research this topic after the loss of my cat about 1.5 yrs ago. She was like my own child and the dismissing response I received from others encouraged me to conduct my thesis on this topic. It was cathartic for me, I hope it does the same for you.

 

You are invited to participate in this study if you are an owner of a pet that you have lost (death or non-death) within the last 3 years. You must be at least 18 years old to participate. Your pet loss may consist of any type of loss – death, runaway, stolen, adoption, etc. The lost pet must have been owned by you or is a family pet. This study was approved by TWU Institutional Review Board. Participation in this study is voluntary and may be ended at any time without penalty. There is a potential risk of loss of confidentiality in all email, downloading, and internet transactions. To participate in the study, please go to: https://www.psychdata.com/s.asp?SID=140556. This study is estimated to take 15 minutes.

 

If you have any questions or concerns about this study please contact Natalie Rochester at nrochester@mail.twu.edu. Your participation is important and much appreciated. Thank you.

Comment by Cheryl on April 23, 2011 at 11:58am
I can dwell on my losses to the point of no return or i can choose to give them over to the ONE who died to save me and give me life.
Comment by Andrea Humphries on April 23, 2011 at 9:14am
I have recently lost my mother and father to a murder suicide! I am trying to find ways to ease this horrible pain! My  mother was my best friend!
Comment by Cheryl on April 12, 2011 at 10:43pm
Dear Ones ~ please try to understand that the guilt you are feeling is NOT from God but from the father of all lies, the devil.  Guilt traps us and keeps us down.  Would our loved ones want us to feel this way?  If we were the one(s) who had died, would we want those we left behind to go through the pain of guilt over what had happened?  See where guilt takes us?  Please forgive me if I seem blunt.  I just wanted to share what I have learned from my experience of living in the pit of guilt for years.  God took that away once I allowed Him to, and I am so grateful. Let go and let God take that burden from you too.  xo
 

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