"Some days, I feel I can make it through this. Some days, I can fight the kick in the stomach I feel when I wake up and remember my mother is dead."
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Joe von Anjou's Groups
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I miss my Mom!
737 members
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Grief Counseling
120 members
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Orphaned Adults
74 members
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"Spoke with my doctor. Social worker, than psychiatrist, then, possibly, psychotherapist, being arranged."
"Sometimes, it hurts less. Sometimes...
But waking up is always the worst."
"Patty, my heart goes out to you. That is an additional horror you did not need.
I believe in God as well. My brother and mother sent me little signs from Heaven after they left this world. My mother has been helping me in small and big ways since…"
"I talked to a grief hotline on the telephone the other day. Nice person on the other end, just listened to what I had to say.
But I wonder if I did the right thing. Professional and volunteer carers are at high risk for something called…"
"I have had some recent experiences with fear and anxiety. These are melded with my grief. Every little thin g that goes off track, every time I forget a repetition or a set while exercising, I am overwhelmed with panic and fear.
I think it is due…"
"Thank you, Alma. I appreciate it."
"Every time I wake up, either from sleep or from having dozed off, I realise she is gone, It is like a kick to the stomach.
Called a local grief hotline today. Sometimes I am worried what effect what I have to say will have on them. Vicarious…"
"Plus, every time I watch the video of the funeral, I feel crushed again anew."
"My mother died during the shutdown, so I knew a lot of people would not be able to attend her funeral. I arranged to have the funeral videotaped in an Internet-shareable format for that reason.
Now, a lot of those who could not attend who I sent…"
"Hi Lucinda,
I lost my mother fourteen weeks ago this past Friday, and I only buried her on July 17th because of the pandemic.
It still hurts.
My mother died from vascular dementia, it was a battle that took the last five years of her life. When I…"
"Hi Diana!
My mother died in a care home last April from vascular dementia. I was not able to see her in her last month and change of life because the pandemic shut the care home to visitors. I was in phone contact with the staff daily.
After my…"
"Sometimes music helps.
When my brother was killed, the music that appealed to me the most was the last lines of Black Sabbath's "Sabbath Bloody Sabbath," covered by Bruce Dickinson of Iron Maiden.
"Where can you run…"
"Hi Shayla,
I am not married at all, but I lost my Mother in April to a five-year battle with vascular dementia.
I do not know anything about being married, much less unhappily married. However, I can tell you that my mom's lost hurts more now…"
"I got the call from the care home my mother was in around 9.30 at night.
The nurse said "There is no easy way to tell you this. Your mother is deceased."
I let out a cry.
The nurse calmed me down. The nurse was gentle. But she told me…"
"My heart goes out to you.
My brother was killed in a car accident twenty-five years ago. It took my twenty-five years, but I found a way to live with it. I still see my brother in my sleep.
My mother died last April after a horrific five year…"
Profile Information
- About Me:
- Was a caregiver to my mother who had vascular dementia
- About my Loss:
- My mother died from vascular dementia in April 2020. Today (July 2020), it hurts worse than it did in April
Joe von Anjou's Blog
I lost my mother in April. It hurts worse now than then
My mother died in April after a years-long battle with vascular dementia. I buried her last Friday.
It hurts worse now than then.
I knew my mother was going to die. When she was first diagnosed two years and change ago, I looked up the medical literature. It said that life expectancy was six to nine years post-diagnosis.…
ContinuePosted on July 21, 2020 at 4:33pm — 10 Comments
Groups
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Grief Counseling
120 members
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Homicide Survivors Group
15 members
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for loved ones who have …
59 members
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I miss my Mom!
737 members
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Losing a sibling
56 members
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I love my Dad.
398 members
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Lost My Spouse...
373 members
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Orphaned Adults
74 members
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Young Adult Parent Loss
33 members
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Losing Someone to Cancer
615 members
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Compounded grief with ex…
44 members
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Multiple Losses Group
298 members
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daddy
1 member
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Adult Daughters grieving…
23 members
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Being the Other Woman/Ot…
26 members
Latest Activity
"Bluebird, I am glad that you took that the right way. I had a feeling you would know what I meant. And your description is correct: I have a general idea of how you feel but it's impossible for me or anyone else to know…"
"I guess I can emphasize with the things you loved to do dying with the one you loved - as if that feeling has been pulled along, stretched thin to behind the veil. You don't have the energy to pursue them anymore, and just having something that…"
"Please don't apologize; I'm sorry I didn't respond to your last post in April, I'm not very good about keeping up with things anymore.
I don't feel that I'm moving forward at all, but I can see how that would work…"
"You're welcome, Bluebird. I didn't agree with everything she said. The key for me was the "moving forward with" part. The "move on" expression is very grating to me. When I am in a nice place I…"
"Luna,
You don't sound insane to me; you are SO lucky that you feel your love with you. I do not. I did a few times, in the month or so right after he died, but not since. I worry that this may be because he doesn't exist, because there is…"
"Thanks for the ink to that Ted Talk, Jeff. I just watched it, and I can identify with some of what the speaker said, but not all of it. It's good that her phrase about moving forward with her husband, not moving on without him,…"
"That's a good way to put it. Your second paragraph doesn't sound insane at all. I know what you mean. I feel the same, and we're luck to have even that.
In the video I thought the laughter was out of place - at least…"
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