Mailynne, I read your comment about your losses. I am so sorry. Nothing prepares us for these tragedies. I knew my mom and dad were heading toward the end, but my life was turned upside down in April 2008. Some things happened in our life, I couldn't cope. We had to make some hard decisions. I was taking care of my 87 year old dad with cancer and alzheimers (after caring for my mom who had alzheimers and died 11/30/2006). I started having physical problems, which I believe were probably brought on my all the extra stress from caregiving from 1998 to that time. I needed help not only in the caregiving but just emotional support for me. I decided to move near my daughter and her family. If I hadn't, I don't know if I would have made it. In moving, though, I left my home, church, pastor, job, friends and some family. It was an awlful transition time. When I lost my dad, it was hard, but at least I wasn't alone. He died 2/3/2010. It's hard to believe it will soon be 2 years. About 6 months after he died, a friend's mother died. I was there to support her when it happened. To put it lightly, it devastated me. I realized then that I had never grieved my mom's passing because I had to be strong for my dad. I didn't know if I could go on. I felt like an adult orphan which was nuts, but nonetheless the feelings were very real. Then, in March this year, my best friend's husband walked into her house and dropped dead on the floor. It scared the life out of me, because I do have physical limitations and I started to dwell on what if something like that happened to me. What would I do? Where would I go? I was in bad shape. I am just now starting to pull out of it, but I can't say that tomorrow I won't feel it again. I'm trying desperately to trust the Lord with all these fears and lean on Him. I don't feel like people understand (even my own kids) what I feel. My son-in-law is my pastor and I don't even talk to him about my feelings. God is good though, because He will speak to me in many ways especially music. I listen to gospel music and it soothes my troubled mind and spirit. I'm not preaching, so please don't feel that way. It's just what helps for me. I am glad to be our friend. Please feel free to contact me anytime.
"I am so sorry for your loss!! I do know and understand what you are going through!! My son Matthew took his own life in June 13th 10 day before his 26 birthday! He checked into a super 8 on a Monday and the staff found him dead on a Thursday!! When…"
"Strike those vacations below, they'll never be another one. Went on a memorial cruise with my daughter and family four months after she passed because she was so looking forward to it. It hurt enough to know they'll be no more."
"Yes Elynn, the loneliness. That's painful. They're not here and always was. Our best friend, lover, and most precious thing we had. We were lucky enough to spend the last 8 1/2 years together, joined at the…"
"Every day for me is the same day she passed. Not a joyful or even an ok moment. I spend a little time with the children and grands and do my best to hide my emotions, but they all know how I am inside, even the youngest grand at age 4…"
"Avi, I don't know if we can rethink our emotions that way. Our emotions are what they are, although reason can help us form our emotions and hopefully change them for the better. I don't know if my mom can hear me or not. I certainly…"
"How are you all doing?
I had bad last 2 days. Felt lot of guilt and cried. There were some moments which made me remember my mother.
Also I hear comforting words by a lady that people who have gone from this world can still feel your…"
"I wonder how i am managing. Not well and to be onest today I wanted to just set a date with death. I am approaching seven years of being without him and though I function towards the outside world better and my crying has lessened but at the…"