Jeannie Porter
  • Female
  • Commerce City, CO
  • United States
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Anyone whom has had the loss of a gay partner...I am in Colorado and lost
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I know loss is pretty much the same accross the big picture...it would be nice to share with other same sex partners and gay friendly folks...Trying to keep my head above water.

Started this discussion. Last reply by Syl Han Jan 17, 2011.

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About Me:
I am a gay 57 year old who has just lost my shinning star of 17 years to Ovarian Cancer. I am used to being cared for as I have my own medical issues for many years. This
loss was unexpected and heart wrenching. We spent alot of time together. i guess I am high maintence this way..I am said to have a huge since of humor..i just donot know it(so they say) I usually am very honest/sometimes I put my feet in my mouth..socks and all.Then I have to say sorry for being so blunt.I have 2 grandchildre. i have a little poodle.n I adore
About my Loss:
About me is not so important as this question..Ovarian cancer took the most giving,happy,supportive full of life person I had the pleasure to love and be loved by. Oh we had our little poopie moments ,yet happy,laughter was always the end result. and hopefully a lesson learned. :) I am frozen in grief and heart that is so sad I thought I was having a heart attach it hurt so bad..I imagine all of us feel this. perhaps having us spend alot of time with each other makes the phys.loss worse..Is there anything worse then this loss. I am glad she is not in pain and she did have a peacefull passing at the "end" Her parents and our pets must have met her.At least thats what I keep telling myself inbetween the"if"s"

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At 9:41pm on January 25, 2011, michael sandoval said…
Dear Jeannie,
my condolences. I lost my love after just one wonderful year together. After almost a year and half, I still feel the same as I did when she passed away. I find myself reliving horrible times and her passing, getting sad remembering the great times and crying over the lonliness of her being gone. I find comfort here on this webpage. Hope we can be friends
At 6:52pm on January 24, 2011, sheila kerr said…
did you try my regular e-mail try that it is marvinkerr@aol.com
At 7:06pm on January 23, 2011, sheila kerr said…
No I am not geting anything from you on here except the comments I will check back in a little bit
At 6:22pm on January 13, 2011, sheila kerr said…
WElcome I am here for you I am Sheila Kerr and I lost my husband in March 2010 so I know what you are feeling we can try to help eachother as I am so lost without him.I took care of him always so now I have nothing to do with my time but work and come home to an empty house most days.I will help you all I can and there are other people just like us on this site Take care I will talk to you soon
 
 
 

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morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Amen Linda.......Today for whatever reason was a particularly rough day.  I am exhausted from crying.   I just don't know how long I can keep pushing forward.  I am definitely in the hate mode......."
2 hours ago
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
9 hours ago
Martee replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Maybe open yourself up, try to ride that love and passion I see in you. You loved your husband so deeply, focus on that. Maybe we are still here because we need to evolve a bit more or do something that God wants us to do. looking back I feel you…"
yesterday
Martee replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Exactly If We are wrong we won’t know it, but we do know that we are energy (souls), basic physics says energy cannot be destroyed. Anything is better than existing here in this void!"
yesterday
Martee replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"If you focus on the light and the good, that’s is God! I have felt it, I don’t know anything about plans or why people get taken before others but I do know that wherever that next realm  is I’m ready to go I am not…"
yesterday
bluebird replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"That's great that you have no doubt about the existence of an afterlife. I doubt there's a god, but if there is one I'm not convinced it's a loving God, as it allowed my husband to die young(-ish) and one week after our wedding.…"
yesterday
Jeff C replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Morgan, Over the years I have thought that Bluebird gets it much more than almost everyone who has written about this - at least from my point of view. At the root of this, I think, it's the absence of their presence that hurts so much.  I…"
yesterday
Martee replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"bluebird I can’t help but hold out hope in reading all these entries from people that some of them made it to the next realm. That is the reason we don’t hear from some anymore, because they passed on with with their loved ones.  I…"
yesterday
bluebird replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Thank you, Joe. It does help a little bit."
yesterday
morgan replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Jeff,  Amazing isn't it?  I keep asking myself how it is I could still hurt so much from having my husband no longer with me on this earthly plane.  Not because I don't know it isn't possible but more, what is it that…"
yesterday
Joe Kelly replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Bluebird, I believe that every consciousness/spirit/soul is immortal.  I, or no one in our limited dimensional world can prove that right or wrong.  I can't prove my OBE either.  All I can do is share it.  Your original post…"
yesterday
bluebird replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Joe, Thank you. I hope with everything in my soul that you are right about that, and I wish I shared your faith in that regard. If you and I have already discussed this, I apologise for repeating myself (my memory is not what it once was, and my…"
Thursday
bluebird left a comment for Martee
"I saw both of your posts on my profile. If nothing else, maybe rock-climbing and the like will help to distract you for a little while. And you're right, it is absolutely not fair that our beloved partners have died. I know that my husband and…"
Thursday
M Adams replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Hope these rituals bring comfort to you, Martee.  I have kept the ashes of my husband as well, just don’t want to part with them.  It has been more than three years since his death — but I don’t feel like there is a…"
Thursday
Joe Kelly replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Reading your posts, and many who post here, I think you're going to be joyously surprised when you pass over. "The worst thing about all of this is not knowing if my sweet, wonderful husband's soul still exists, as it…"
Thursday
Martee left a comment for Marjorie Willcox
"So sorry for your loss and pain, my soulmate died 1/29/20, been so bad for me to. I don’t let people know too much, no way I want to be taken out of my house. I feel like some people just want to watch me crash and are more nosey than…"
Thursday
bluebird replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Joe, Thank you for your posts. Even though you don't have absolute proof of an afterlife, your out-of-body experience seems to have provided you with some level of surety, which I think is wonderful, and I must admit I'm jealous of you for…"
Wednesday
Joe Kelly replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Bluebird, It doesn't make it easier so to speak.  What will help is when I allow my doctor to do some imaging, in the weeks or perhaps a couple of months ahead, I'll let him scan me, and since now I know something is spreading…"
Wednesday
Josephine Crawford commented on Kar's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Thanks Ammy. I sometimes feel guilty when I am happy. Yes it takes time. Continued to all."
Wednesday
Martee replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"I kept my husband’s ashes, I keep them next to me all day, move them to his nightstand at night. Been 3 weeks..."
Wednesday

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