Comment

Comment by Darien on January 27, 2017 at 11:30pm

Hi Rain, I haven't seen much activity on here in a while. I try and answer people when I get a notification, but was busier than usual and didn't get out here to comment as quickly as I would have liked.

I'm here if you want to talk.

Comment by Rain on January 19, 2017 at 9:50am

Is anyone still active in this group? I have been searching for a group of this kind that understands this type of pain.

Comment by Darien on August 7, 2016 at 3:20pm

I fell hard and fast for a man I met in April of this year. He and his wife had just called it quits after 24 yrs together. For three years he tried to work things out with his wife who was having an affair. She wouldn't stop lying or cheating, so he decided to divorce. They hadn't filed yet.
He and I were only together for two months before he suddenly broke things off. We agreed to stay friends but I took three weeks away from him to process my hurt over him playing the field a little. He didn't want to get right back into another relationship and was worried about me being a rebound. I had finally decided I was over my hurt feelings and would give him a call in a few days. He died of a heart attack that night.
I never had a chance to talk to him about his reasons for the break up. I always thought that we'd talk it through and I would be able to win him back after he'd gotten done being that little boy in a candy store and the divorce was final. And now, suddenly, I'm completely devastated. I cannot accept that I'll never see, talk to, or touch him again. He was such an amazing man. How can I be this devastated in two months time? How can I be so in love with someone I barely knew?
I read through all your stories out here and see myself in most every one. The wanting something of his, the search to connect into his life somehow, wanting to reach out to his wife and children, the inability to be public about my grief or my love for him. 
Like so many of you, I find that there are no local support groups, counselors don't really seem interested in counseling this sort of grief, and I feel like an idiot even talking to friends about it. After all, he'd broken up with me, they keep saying.
I just never had time to process my feelings for him.

Comment by Tracey Randolph on August 7, 2015 at 6:21pm

I have also been looking for a resource and support

Comment by Peter on August 7, 2015 at 3:38pm

Is anyone still here?  There really is very little support out there.  I bought the book "I Wasn't Ready to Say Goodbye: Surviving, Coping and Healing After the Sudden Death of a Loved One" and there is only one paragraph in the book regarding being the other man/woman.

Comment by Cathy Richardson on March 17, 2015 at 9:34pm

Lynden -please email me at catrich1964 @gmail.com

Comment by Lynden on March 17, 2015 at 3:00pm

Is there anyone still active in this group? I am currently in this situation and finding few places to turn, and few people to turn to outside of my therapist who is paid to be nonjudgmental. I have a huge hole in my life that I have to pretend isn't there.

Comment by Ali on December 15, 2014 at 3:01pm

My names Ali, and I was the other woman to a much older man. He was my heart and soul, and I was his. His wife was seeing someone else as well, but they decided not to divorce due to their son having a disability and them not being sure if he'd understand. He passed away in January and since then I've been a mess. I can't stand being alone, and the thought of being with anyone else is complete torcher. Nobody seems to understand.

Comment by Annie M on October 16, 2014 at 1:19pm

Dave, It will be 9 months on the 21st for me and I can tell you that it does get easier.  As life goes on, and it must, I find myself thinking less about my guy and more about what I am going to do to make the most out of the rest of my life.  I'm 72 and probably don't have that many more years to do my best but every day I do try to keep busy and look for ways to be helpful to those that need help.  It isn't an easy road but one we have to travel if we want to ever be normal again.  One regret, out of many, that I have is that I wasn't more present in our relationship.  I always thought there would be more time but then all of a sudden there wasn't any more.  That relationship changed me to the core and I'll never be the same again.  Please know, Dave, that my prayers are with you to get through this a day at a time and that you come out on the other side of this a person that your lady could be proud of.  God bless and keep you, Annie M  

Comment by Annie M on August 4, 2014 at 12:48pm

Does everyone on this discussion forum know that what we are experiencing is called "disenfranchised grief"?

• ‹ Previous
• 1
• 2
• Next ›
• Page